Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- September 2010 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom.


4,040 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- September 2010 Archive”

  1. D.Vader says :

    Damnit. Beaks went and fucking banned me from AICN for questioning his insane rule that no one could post anything off-topic in the obit for Sally Menke. For fuck’s sake, what an amateur.

    • LB says :

      No Dammit!

      This is professional:

      Banned from AICN is a badge you have to earn!

      They keep not banning me-stupid cunts.

    • Tom_Bando says :

      Seriously? Noted_Sage D.Vader was banned–for Shame. Harold and co. should have granted you tenure by now. Beaks kinda sucks anyways, pompous ass.

    • kloipy says :

      Vader- that’s some bullshit. but seriously, fuck AICN. That place is a bag of shit. And Beaks, being the former talkbacker has let his black box status go to his head

    • Tom_Bando says :

      Hmmmmmmm will result in banning…
      by Sal_Bando Sep 29th, 2010
      06:18:41 AM
      Dear Mr Beaks. You are a pompous bag of shit. You banned Noted_Sage D.Vader here? Really? This makes you an even BIGGER bag of shit.

      As for Cokey’s little editor-well this is SAD, yes. But not AS sad as watching Death Proof.

      Signed-Harold’s Fourth Bag of Cheetos.


      This of course will not be there long.

      • kloipy says :

        breaking my long silence for you Beaks
        by Kloipy Sep 29th, 2010
        06:18:17 AM
        good to see that you’ve let your z grade celebrity go to your head. As a former talkbacker you know have raised your status to one of the black box nazi. good job on banning people in the place you used to post. Piece of shit. Hope you don’t mind when Devin comes on to this titanic and steals your spotlight. Keep up the shit work.

      • Tom_Bando says :

        And Titanic it is and it shall be, Kloipy. Egads that site is kinda dead now isn’t it??

      • kloipy says :

        it’s been dead to me for a long time Bando. place is just shit

    • LB says :

      Yo Vader-Danny has your back-not that won’t get unbanned-but he said some stuff on your behalf.

      AICN-I quit 2 years ago-I’ve had much better blood pressure readings since then.

  2. Droid says :

    Morning, watched Solomon Kane last night. Apart from that, nada mas. Fucking over work. Cannot be fucked. That is all.

    • Jarv says :

      Fuck’s sake.

      Doing my second event in 12 hours at the moment. Only packed up from the last one at fucking 10pm last night. Now I’m doing ANOTHER one and I have been since 8.

      Fuck this shit. I’m now starting to despise the whole greeting process.

      And I’ve been standing in the fucking rain all morning.

  3. Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

    Done The Butterfly Effect 2 last night (without chicken and chips, unfortunately). Boring film, man. Boring! It’s basically the same as the first one but significantly more crap.

    Interestingly, they use the director’s cut template, meaning this is another film that gets more and more miserable until the main character has no choice but to (spoiler) himself. Trouble is, the (spoiler)icide makes no sense in this one and doesn’t have that great combination of goofiness and misery. I was hoping for creatively absurd (spoiler)icides in every film, like maybe a toddler could shoot himself in the head or something. But they went a more boring way instead.


    • Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

      Also, it commits the unpardonable sin of having not one but two boobless sex scenes. What the hell, man? I mean, if this were a serious drama – with proper acting and themes and suchlike – I’d be a grown up and accept that maybe boobs aren’t necessary to the story. But in a film like this? Show us the good stuff, you bastards!

    • Droid says :

      2 down, 1 to go!

  4. Droid says :

    Frankie, did you ever see all of the Wild Things movies? There’s about 4 I think. Surely there’d be mucho boobage in those ones. And lesbians too!

    • Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

      No, I’ve only seen the first one, which is awesome. Wild Things was a series I planned to cover back when I could still be bothered to write reviews, but I never got around to it.

      They’re still on my list to watch, I’ll get to them one day, just like one day I’ll watch the entire Bring It On series.

  5. Jarv says :


    I’m thoroughly cunted off today.

    Fuck work, fuck it long fuck it hard.

    What have I seen that’s utter shit and deserves filletting?

  6. Jarv says :

    I’m trashing that last comment of mine. Not clever at all, and just a bit twattish.

    Apologies, parents/ stakeholders/ customers/ whateverthefuckI’mmeanttocallthemnowadays getting right on my fucking nerves.

  7. Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

    Further to Bronco’s post yesterday, I just saw the trailer for This Ain’t Avatar XXX. Disappointingly, the cocks are not blue, just normal cock colours, which looks very strange. This may start a bigger nerd uproar than when they shitcanned the giant squid from Watchmen.

    Link here, although it’s (obviously) not safe for those of you who still work in offices:


    • Droid says :

      No blue cocks you say? But what about blue balls?

      • Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

        It’s kind of weird looking. The actors are painted blue like the Navi, but they’ve left all the genitals in their normal human colours. I guess they couldn’t find any blue paint that tasted nice.

      • Jarv says :

        But what about blue balls?

        Still worried about your private life? I can set you up with fat Aussie minion if you like, she’ll relieve that problem and probably will be grateful.

        That’s only if I can convince her to slum it for you though.

      • Droid says :


        That’s all a bit rubbish, mate. I realise you’re in a shitty mood, so I’ll overlook the lack of wit on this occasion.

        But you can set me up with Italian minion or that one with the decent legs you keep crapping on about.

      • Droid says :

        I still don’t understand why they thought an Avatar porno would be a good idea? Other than for the curios and perverts, who really wants to watch a bunch of na’vi fucking?

      • Jarv says :

        I wouldn’t waste my time with that- to use a sporting anology: they’re Australia 2003, whereas you’re Bangladesh. Any year you like

      • Jarv says :

        On a more serious point-

        They make porn of everything, and I always suspect it’s because someone thinks it’s funny, and that’s the only reason.

      • Droid says :

        Okay, I’ll be the Bangladesh team that beat England in the one dayer a few months ago.

        Anyway, every now and then a hideous beast can punch above his weight. Just look at you and Mrs Jarv.

      • Droid says :

        I can see why the idea of a ripoff of Pirates of the Caribbean or the old Batman tv show and whatnot would appeal to a broader porn audience, combining recognisable elements and porn. I just don’t really get who would watch a porno of blue cat like aliens fucking.

        But hey, everyone said Avatar would bomb. Maybe the Avatar porno will also become the highest grossing porno of all time.

      • kloipy says :

        They should make more movie porn parodies.
        The Road becomes The Choad- A man in a post apocolypse is chased down by a band of roving dick cannibals
        30 Days of Tight- fill that in yourself

      • Droid says :

        The titles are far less amusing nowadays. They’re all “This Ain’t…” or “Not The…” Ever since some porn guy figured out you can use titles, names and likenesses without getting sued if you clearly establish that it’s a spoof, pornos names have gotten boring.

      • Jarv says :

        Best porn title of all time-


        It only works phonetically, but I still giggle when I think about it.

      • DocPazuzu says :

        The Batman XXX porno was awesome. Evan Stone nailed (no pun intended) Frank Gorshin’s Riddler. They actually hired the same guy who designed the original costumes for the TV show. It was funny as hell. And Tori Black is…… Excuse me for a moment…

  8. kloipy says :

    Jonah- just wanted to say I like the new layout over at PCN

  9. Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

    After careful consideration during the more boring parts of Butterfly Effect 2 last night, I’ve settled on the name Mega Monkey Vs Aqua Assholes for next week’s adventure in water-based monster crap. The line-up goes:

    Sunday – Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus

    Monday – Mega Piranha

    Tuesday – Dinocroc Vs Supergator

    Wednesday – Sharktopus

    No doubt, they will all be awesome, and not even a little bit boring. I’m looking forward to it.

    • just pillow talk says :

      All those films promise to be MEGA EXCITING.

      The “lab scenes” with Debbie Gibson in Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus NEVER get old, and are brilliantly shot.

      The question is: who will win the Aqua Asshole palooza golden statue for crap cinema?

      • kloipy says :

        is Mega bigger than Ultra?
        All this watersport talk is making me thirsty….ew

      • Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

        I’m pretty sure Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus will be the worst film, which is why I’m getting it out of the way early.

        The question I’m most interested in is: Which monster is the biggest Aqua Asshole?

        My money is on the sharktopus. It has the killer instinct of an asshole shark, plus the wandering tentacles of an asshole octopus. That’s double the aqua assholery right there.

    • DocPazuzu says :

      Watched Sharktopus a few days ago. It’s heroically awful and funny as hell.

  10. Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

    I heard that show Lone Star just got canceled after only two episodes, which is a shame because it was supposed to be good. I was maybe going to check it out if it survived.

    In better news, Boardwalk Empire has already been renewed for a second season.

    Buscemi FTW!

    • koutchboom says :

      How was that second epiosde of Boringwalk? I actually had HBO this weekend at the hotel but missed it.

      Sucks about Lonestar but I think I was one of the 10 people who saw the first episode. I knew it would get cancelled but I at least figured it would air all 6 filmed episodes.

  11. just pillow talk says :

    Lep 4: In space.

    My biggest gripes were that there is no fucking way in hell these little pisshead “marines” would ever survive against Lep and where the fuck was all the boob? One instance of boob and that’s it?

    But it doesn’t get any more “classic” than a marine pissing on a piece of the Lep after being blown up by a grenade, and then being born again, for lack of a better term, through the same Marine’s dick. Pure genius. Well done generic marine actor!

    “Wed her, bed her, and bury her.”

    • Jarv says :

      What about the gratuitous stripping down and oiling of the unconvincing biologist?

      Not to mention Warwick’s epic John Wayne impersonation.

      • just pillow talk says :

        The Wayne imersonation was funny.

        And that, um, German scientist dude who turns into a spider/scorpion combination…I was like, WTF…

        Really, though, it takes away from Lep’s screen time and there shouldn’t be another villian, just Lep.

  12. just pillow talk says :

    *cracks knuckles*

    I believe Matador will be coming next.

  13. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    best search at PCN: “Al the Boys Love Roger Ebert”

  14. Droid says :

    Jonah, have you seen Buried? I might go see it tonight. All of a sudden, based on nothing other than I noticed it was out, I find myself interested to see what it’s all about.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah i got free passes to see Let Me In, but don’t know if I want to or not.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve actually heard that it’s supposed to be good. I’m still dubious.

      • Droid says :

        That said, good or not, it’s still totally unnecessary.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well I guess I’ve got a dinner scheduled tonight. So no let me in. That settles that.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yep its a renter:

        a successful film for newcomers to the material, but it fails to justify its existence to those familiar with its previous incarnation.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve now got an image of Koutch pouncing on that KFC Double Down thing like a Drop bear.

        Inspired by Let the Right one In

      • koutchboom says :

        FUCK I had a Double Down on Vacation. It was the grilled one. And I can say its still not half as nasty/fatty as the typical British breakfast.

      • Jarv says :


        Double Down has far more lard and fatness in it than a fry up.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hahahahahah ok. The Double Down isn’t even the worst thing you can get at a fast food resturante. And if you get it grilled it’s not that bad.

      • Droid says :

        The Double Down isn’t even the worst thing you can get at a fast food resturante. And if you get it grilled it’s not that bad.

        This is a very weak argument, Koutch. The Double Downs somehow fine to eat because there is even fattier, more unhealthy “food” out there and getting it grilled is slightly less unhealthy for you (which is like the difference between catastrophic and cataclysmic).

      • koutchboom says :

        Hey I’m just saying you guys act like England isn’t the home of fried fish and a newspaper full of crisps. English food is just as terrible for you as American food.

      • koutchboom says :

        Also I don’t know what we are arguing? I’m just pointing out that the double down joke is old. It’s all about the foot long hamburger now if you have been paying attention.

      • Droid says :

        While england may be unhealthy (much worse than Australia), I have never come across anywhere that replaces burger buns with fried chicken.

      • koutchboom says :

        HEY it’s called Atkins.

      • Jarv says :

        Actual “English” food isn’t that bad.

        The fundamental difference, though, is that you aren’t meant to eat Fish and Chips every day. The most healthy is a Mediterranean Diet?

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      Buried is good Droid. I liked it alot. very suspenseful.

      Probably the best movie releasing this week in this area. That list includes Catfish, Social Network, Jack Goes Boating, Case 39 . Only one Ive yet to see is Let Me In .

  15. koutchboom says :

    WOW going over the Rotten Tomatoes reviews for Facebook makes me feel like I saw a totally different movie. Some one called it the Citizen Kane of the 21st century. Hahahahah jesus. Just like ACTUAL facebook adults just don’t fucking get it.

    • koutchboom says :

      Can’t believe the movie is at 100%. I’ll have to wait for the only critic that matters, Armond White to see if they are right are not.

      • Droid says :

        Who gives a fuck what RT says? Its all horseshit. Last time I looked, Splice was at 70%.

      • koutchboom says :

        Obviously a lot of people care what RT says otherwise it wouldn’t be popular.

        Normally I wouldn’t care I’m just amazed that its at 100% with a bunch of reviews in. And more of them are actually 4/5 or 3.5/4 reviews. Not 3/5 reviews like they were for Toy Story 3. It’s just bizare this new band wagon mentality for films in general.

      • Droid says :

        The bandwagon mentality towards films (or anything for that matter) isn’t new.

      • Jarv says :

        Who gives a fuck what RT says? Its all horseshit. Last time I looked, Splice was at 70%.

        That is a winning argument to any future reference that isn’t derogatory to RT.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh, I don’t know about bandwagon thinking. I think this is more down to the tendency for critics to fellate something en masse, declare it a movement, then move on to the next big thing declaring previous “movement” passé.


      • koutchboom says :

        I mean there is a whole notion all over the internet now that if you don’t agree with the masses about a movie then you are an idiot. Like anyone that nay sayed Toy Story 3 most know nothing about movies. Its just funny and strange. Like people can’t have valid opposing opinions about anything. People WANT a movie to get 100% on RT??? Why? Why would you want a movie everybody enjoys, that sounds like a boring fucking bland ass movie.

        Also to add insult to the whole Facebook movie thing was how everyone thought it was the dumbest idea for a movie ever made when they first heard about it. Now they are calling it the greatest film of all time???? Just seriously just out RT about it and read the bullshit on there.

  16. Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

    Did someone mention a foot long hamburger?

    I want a foot long hamburger. I also want a double down.

    And I would like to at least try something with Baconnaise on it. Bacon = Delicious. Mayonnaise = Delicious. Using highly complex mathematics, I therefore calculate that Baconnaise must be Doublelicious.

    Damn, now I’m hungry…

  17. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    so what did you think of facebook movie Koutch?

    Armond himself said in an interview that he was the only critic that mattered, so you are in agreement on that one.

    • koutchboom says :

      Well Armond knows what he’s talking about.

      The Facebook movie was OK. Nothing special. Worth a rental. It’s exactly like you’d expect it to be. I’m calling it the wikepidia entry of bio movies. Because it just tries to throw a ton of facts at you with only a basic gist of the topic and only minimal research done about the facts. Also its reads as fast as a wikepidia entry, and sticks with you for about as long.

      They should’ve just focused on Eduardo. The whole Winklevoss story seemed to only be in there for humor, and in the end isn’t as important. Because like Mark says in the movie about only giving it the minimal amount of attention, is true.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        The whole movie ‘isn’t important’, Koutch. It’s a portrait of a douchebag, and while it’s well made and interesting and technically a ‘good movie’ I think they forgot to give it a good reason to exist. There’s no subtext or even a slight metaphor to the whole social network thing. That part actually surprised me. It’s about as straightforward thematically as it can be, and it’s structured out of sequence for no good purpose either.

        I think you and I are in agreement—it’s ok, but not something worth hooting bout. As for RT, I’ll say the same thing I always say. It’s an aggregate. I assume you would give it a rating that would imply minimal ‘thumbs up’, and I’m giving it a ‘2.5’ or a ‘3’, which are both postitives, so if we were counted in the RT round-up, we would be perpetuating that 100% fresh rating. It’s number of good reviews, not number of raves. Armond usually upsets things because he sets out to do it. He’s hyperbolicly negative about things that aren’t actually that bad.

        I like that Andrew Garfield bloke though.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I know that now about RT. But like I said most the reviews were 3.5/4 or 4/5 or 4/4. So they were mainly super positive reviews. I didn’t want to make the same mistake I made with bitching about Toy Story 3 review.

        Yeah Spiderman was good. It should’ve just been their story. Like I said, its a wikepdia entry of bio films. You read it, now you think you know a bunch of facts that may or may not be true, but you have no understanding of its importance.

        I think its funny how the whole movie Mark is talking about facebook is cool, ads aren’t cool. NOW facebook isn’t cool and it’s because its 75% ads. Maybe he’ll see this movie and figure out where he fucked up. That or he’ll just count all his billions and not give a shit. BUT they say like a million times in the movie, he doesn’t care about money.

        Either way We Live In Public covered the same sort of story and had a much better/longer story to go over. There was a rise and fall there. The Social Network is just the first half of a possibly much better story. Also Mark and that guy from We Live In Public are probably pretty similar.

      • Jarv says :

        Maybe he’ll see this movie and figure out where he fucked up. That or he’ll just count all his billions and not give a shit.

        I know which I’d bet on.

  18. Droid says :

    Jonah, i sent you Frog Dreaming pics last night. You get them?

  19. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Droid, what was your rating on Frog Dreaming. How many dropbears out of 4?

  20. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Ok, The Aussie and I did our first ‘Dingos Ate My Cinema’ post. Check it out. Any obsservations or suggestions are welcome.


    • kloipy says :

      Very cool review Jonah, put a comment on the page

    • Jarv says :

      Still think you should have done: “Fingered by Uncle Bruce: Aussie Cinema”

      • Droid says :

        You could do a British one and call it….

        “I Married My Cousin: The History of the British Empire”

        See what I did there? I combined the fact that you’re all inbred with your boring obsession with period films.

    • Jarv says :

      Not in today.

      Giving potentially career saving presentation in that ungodly shithole Milton Keynes.

      French Minion gave it the other day, and said it went down well. However, I suspect she could have presented on paint drying and it would be alright.

      Me, on the other hand…

  21. kloipy says :

    I don’t know what you guys feel about it or how it would work with all of us being spread throughout the world, but I think it would be pretty cool if sometime in the future we could start a WOTM podcast? thoughts?

    • Jarv says :

      I’ve never done one, and have no idea what’s involved

    • Droid says :

      It’s a good idea, but it would be pretty difficult to get everyone together at the same time. But if it can be worked out, I’m in.

      • kloipy says :

        we would have to work out scheduling but I think it would be cool to get us all together bullshitting on a podcast.

    • LB says :

      Might be fun! Skype might allow us to pull it off-you can have up to 10 people at a time now (maybe). Could disable the video feed-just do audio, maybe.

      I’m leery of putting pictures of myself on the internet-real names and stuff like that is always an issue.

      • kloipy says :

        yeah I wouldn’t want to do the whole video thing, but the audio should be fine and we can all hide our ugly mugs from the viewing public or from the guy who found us by looking up ‘cunt sewing’

      • ThereWolf says :

        Hey, I’m a good looking guy, you’re a good looking guy… we’re all good looking guys…

  22. Droid says :

    I didn’t end up seeing Buried, because I couldn’t be fucked hanging around work for another hour. So I saw Devil instead. It was okay. Kind of decent little thriller, but nothing special. I kind of expected Sam and Dean to show up. It felt a bit like an extended Supernatural episode.

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      Yea, I agree Droid, although I think i might have liked it slightly more because I was fighting delirium at 1:00 a.m. to watch it. Fun movie, but yea, I kept thinking too, Sam and Dean and Mulder and Scully and Rod Serling should get stuck in the elevator together. that would be fun.

      Bottomline: It’s the best thing with the words Shyamalan anywhere near it since Signs.

  23. LB says :

    Ha ha-Sorry to hear all about that standing around Jarv-sounds dreadful.

    So Twitter week 3 Update. I’m hoping it’s just a phase, but it has been interesting. Like the 5 stages of Death, Fear acceptance and all that, I think twitter is very similar.

    I’m at Stage 3 of twitteritis-which looks to involve celebrity spat fighting :-)-apparently a common occurrence.

    So I’m getting more selective on who i follow-and had a celebrity housecleaning/purge.

    Nathon Fillon is an insanely boring twitterer-just Boy Scout, boring tweets about his socks and Alyssa Milano-so I booted him.

    Which is fine and dandy.

    My spat was with one of those Twerps from “The Virginity Hit”. Basically i told him he’s a tool-he said I’m a troll-blah blah. well, Fuck your stupid coming of age stoner comedy-like the world needs another one of those.

    Got to participate in A live Tweetback on video with Ice T-which was pretty cool. Asked him if was going to do a USO tour-he said he was busy.

    I don’t know if he does this kind of stuff year round, or just to promote SVU when it has new episodes coming out-was pretty neat.

    Yesterday was bad because on a personal note-I saw in the local paper-for my roughly 10 year anniversary of driving Armored Cars-That a guy was arrested for robbing *nine* banks-and guess who I had to toe to toe during one of my scariest incidents on the job.

    Swear to God-same guy. I backed him off my partner ten years ago, but that guy went on to escalate and start hitting bank branches. He’s getting 5 Years plus.

    Freaky stuff.

    Anyway-Twitter is weird-who you follow is kind of more important than followers-A variety editor now possibly follows me-maybe. I started following some of the AICN guys-Montimer is actually really cool-I believe he is British. Masswyrm looks like he’s gonna get dumped. Knowles, as I’ve stated before-is unbearable.

    But it’s the other media places and blogs where most of the fun stuff is happening. Twitch is still great-and now I get them directly without having to rely on AICN.

    That’s about it-just in case you guys were ever wondering.

    • kloipy says :

      LB that twitter is a crazy place. I still have no idea how it works. But I’ve enjoyed reading over your posts and shamless pimping of Jarv’s reviews

  24. Droid says :

    The trailer for Skyline looks like it could be entertaining

  25. Droid says :

    BTW, cheers for putting up the inaugural DSMC post, Jonah.

    And a special shout out to Jarv for his insightful comment.

  26. LB says :

    Ha Ha-you guys are making me grin today.

    Not much going on in twitterverse today-just a bunch of Celebrideath so everyone seems subdued.

    Oh yeah-And Lucas is 3-Ding *all* of the Star Wars movies. *sighs*. Maybe he could *edit* The first couple.

    Generally, pretty quiet.

  27. LB says :

    The only time I’d repost “real” news: Aliens messing with our nukes-Yo! http://bit.ly/d1VrAa

    Now that I’m getting older-I tend to disparage the whole aliens hoo hoo as a bunch of marketing by people out to make money selling dopey books-but dang-10 missiles taken down in- what did it say- 1948?

    Whatever else-that’s a freaky story-was first reported by reuters a week ago-it has now only kind of surfaced in the states/on google.

  28. Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

    The Butterfly Effect series is officially done. Woohoo!

    The third one is better than part two, but it’s still nothing special. It’s passable enough and not boring like the second one, but I wouldn’t recommend it. I will give them extra credit for going full boob in the sex scene, though. She even puts ’em on the glass! That’s the way things should be done in a DTV sequel.

    All in all, this was not a good series-watching experience. When the highlight of a series is a mediocre Ashton Kutcher film, you’re in trouble. I will therefore not be accepting any more of Droid’s suggestions for at least one month.

    Damn you, Droid!

    • Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

      In the words of world renowned philosopher Sir Mix-A-Lot:

      B double O B S, straight sittin’ in the window,
      I’d rather kiss ’em than indo,
      And if you see me on the freeway, baby don’t pass,
      Slow down and put ’em on the glass!

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      Puppet Master! Puppet Master! Puppet Master!

      • Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

        No way, no how, not a chance.

        I’ve been burned too many times by Charles Band, who seems to think excruciating boredom is a necessary component in all his films. It’s like how Sam Raimi puts the Delta ’88 in all his films, except instead of a car it’s A HOWLING ABYSS OF BOREDOM.

        Plus, there’s 10 of those things. That’s too much shit, even for me.

    • LB says :

      Frankiln looks he survived unharmed from yet another dreck-fest! and on a completely unrelated note-the celebrideath continues unabated-now american comedian greg giraldo has OD’d and now 6 feet under.

      The freaky thing about twitter-is it can be anywhere from 1 hour to a whole day or more ahead of *all* the mainstream news channels-and I don’t even look at the idiotic trending topics.


      • koutchboom says :

        AAAAAAAAAAhahahah that fuck died. Jesus what a way to blow the highest possible point of his career. Also didn’t he just have a kid I think?

    • Droid says :

      You’re welcome Frankie. Now I have to brainstorm another awesome series for you to watch after your Mega Monkey series because the lure of the ridiculous always brings the monkey back.

  29. Droid says :

    I just watched Ghosts of the Civil Dead, which was about as relentlessly grim a film as you’re ever likely to see.

  30. LB says :

    Wow-I have an artist I respect very much Otep Shamaya!

    Got on a live chat-and it was cool-she answered my question:

    Q: Dressing up for Halloween?

    A: No.

    Ha ha-shes a lesbian and metal-and the best songwriter since Cobain-so cool!

  31. kloipy says :

    New review up (HOLY SHIT 2 in 2 days!) for Deadgirl

  32. Droid says :

    I have to say, if the rumour that Zemeckis is interested in directing Superman is true, it would be pretty awesome. Then again, I like Zemeckis more than most.

    • koutchboom says :

      Didn’t he already direct a crappy Superman movie?

      • Droid says :

        No that looks more like something you’d cook up.

      • koutchboom says :


        Lemme get this straight you are defending Robbie Z’s CGI films?

        Hey I’m with you I don’t hate them, but come on if you know your Nintendo 64 history you’d know thats a still from the Superman N64 game, a game that a lot of people consider to be the worst game ever made. ALSO a lot of people hate Rob Z’s CGI nonsense so of course when hearing about a Rob Z Superman film one can only initially think about what it possibly could become. There joke solved.

      • Droid says :

        Yes, I understand that’s what you were getting at, but I maintain that is what a superman movie would look like if you were in charge. You’d blow most of the $200m budget on getting KFC to cater.

        I loved Beowulf, but I’m neither here nor there about Christmas Carol and Polar Express. Don’t hate them. Seen them once. Doubt I’d see them again. Particularly Christmas Carol, because if I want to see that story I’ll watch the awesome muppet version.

        I’m also the first person to call for Zemeckis to return to live action, which he seems to be doing, because he’s just announced some sort of live action time travel movie (that isn’t BTTF4 thank christ).

      • koutchboom says :

        I’ll let yourself give you a crickets for that. Still on the double down? What’s next? George Bush is an idiot joke?

        FUCK if I had $200 million to blow on a movie it would probably be all spent in a gold plated cod piece for Supes played by Jason Statham. Seriously $200 is all I would need if I was just dicking around with KFC for catoring, it would be able to feed the whole crew and surronding town for 3 months. You know how cheap that place is?

        You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

      • Droid says :

        Well, George Bush IS an idiot. You americans can complain about Bush jokes all they like, but you only have yourselves to blame. You elected him. Twice.

        You never quite grasped the idea, did you? You would blow £200m on catering because you’d plonk your ass down in front of the catering truck and stuff yourself full of double downs for six months straight. Then you’d realise you actually had to make a movie, and you’d contact the best animation house you could afford with your remaining thousand bucks. The result would be above…

        And to paint a picture of what you’d look like afterwards…


      • koutchboom says :

        No I got the joke just fine, just wasn’t as good as my initial joke. But keep on trying ‘Last comment Droid!’ GUN SHOT NOISE!!! I swear one of these days I’ll make you a little picture you can just post instead of another tired joke.

        Also I can’t see that picture mate, not showing at work? SOOOO there is a SLIGHT SLIGHT chance that maybe you already created yourself a little picture or that the picture could be funny. But something tells me its this:

      • Droid says :

        Aah, I get it now. You thought your joke was funny. Okay, I’ll sort this confusion out for you…

        It wasn’t.

      • Droid says :

        Yep. Point proven. Unrelated to anything.

      • kloipy says :

        Hey Droid, I didn’t vote for that asshole twice!

      • Droid says :

        Unfortunately, as an American, it’s the cross you have to bear, kloipy.

        I have never met an American who has admitted voting for Bush. Yet he got elected twice. Where did the votes come from?

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I wasn’t even living in America when he was voted into power. Either way at least he’s not Tony Blair. GRANTED, kloipy the king of Aussieland does have us beat:

      • Droid says :

        Two Australian actors posing with trannies at a premiere. Yep, totally related to George Bush, Tony Blair and the results of elections.

        Once again, worthless.

      • koutchboom says :

        SO NOW YOU DINOUNCE YOUR KING AND SAVIOR BILL BILL HUNTER!!!!! You really do hate your homeland.

        Again let me break down the joke. See no one knows whose fucking in charge of Austraillia besides the Queen Mum. Sure you got someone in charge over there but???? I don’t know without having to look it up, no one probably does outside of Aussies. SOOO the joke is that Bill Hunter is your King/Prime Miniter/Dictator/Warden whoever runs that place (beside Oprah in a couple of months). And Bill Hunter is awesome (i think this is a point we actually agree on and you understand), so of course Bill Hunter is cooler then W/Obama/Blair/Gillard.

      • Droid says :

        This was the joke that image was supposed to convey? Really?

      • koutchboom says :

        Ummm yeah….whatdontyoufuckingunderstand? Don’t tell me you don’t like Bill Hunter anymore? It was like the one of 5 things we agreed on.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t understand how someone was supposed to get that rambling incoherent alleged “joke” from that image. Thats hatdontifuckingunderstand.

      • kloipy says :

        Droid I agree that it is our cross to bear. I’m not certain why the populace decided he was the best person to lead this country (although the first election is more than questionable). The problem was that Bush getting re-elected was based off of the Bush Admin’s overuse of fear to scare the public into believing that without him we would be open to constant terroristic activity.

      • koutchboom says :

        My biggest problem with Bush is that he is another Presidents son. And that guy was just President pretty much. There are HOW many people in America? And we went and elected the son of one? Just seemed very small minded thinking. Especially since the whole point of America was to get away from King’s rule, and just hiring the last guys son to rule our county seemed very Kingdom rule to me.

    • koutchboom says :

      Didn’t he already direct a crappy Superman movie?

  33. Droid says :

    Speaking of Zemeckis and AWESOME!!! In one day I will be sitting in a cinema to watch BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!

  34. Droid says :

    Geez, it’s been a busy few days at the Hollywood morgue. Sally Menke, Gloria Stewart, Arthur Penn and now Tony Curtis.

    And yet Don Murphy continues to inhale burritos and cheese whip.

  35. Tom_Bando says :

    I liked Tony Curtis! The Defiant Ones, Boston Strangler, Vegas, etc. That’s too bad.

  36. Tom_Bando says :

    So if Mr Beaks gets on a train in Cincinnati at 8 AM headed for Miami doing 80 on a Monday, and Harold gets on a plane in Seattle headed for Detroit on a Tuesday doing 400—who winds up crashed head first in a donut factory first, and why?

  37. Droid says :

    Random question… Has anyone seen The Last Starfighter lately? Does it hold up? I haven’t seen it for maybe 20 years. I loved it as a kid.

    • Bartleby says :

      eh, not really all that well. It’s silly as hell, and the fx don’t really look great. It’s not as bad as watching Flight of the Navigator these days, but I think it’s pretty loopy. Oddly, more of that had to do with the kind of movie it was originally than it being some 20 + years later.

      I get the feeling if I had been 20 ior older in 1984, this would have appealed to me alot less.

      As for Koutch ragging on Zemeckis, I thought you liked Z Zemeckis. I found this from my 20 Best Animated Movies article:

      Koutch: “Also thank you for admiting that Beowulf is pretty sweet”

      • koutchboom says :

        I was just raging on Zemeckis because I thought it would be funny. Also I thought it was common knowledge about how shitty that Superman video game was. But alas my joke was deemed unfunny by the Simon Cowell of the Comedy World. Back to simple dick and fart jokes.

      • Droid says :

        You don’t have to be Simon Cowell to see that joke wasn’t funny.

      • koutchboom says :

        It was a funny joke you just didn’t understand it. I need to keep them easier for you to recognize.

      • Droid says :

        Nah, it wasn’t. The reference was too vague. It was a joke for you and you alone.

      • koutchboom says :

        I’m gonna wait for Jarv to be the deciding factor on this joke since it was mainly for him. Since I know he plays video games and hates CGI Zemeckis.

      • Droid says :

        I think Jarv just hates Zemeckis in general. He did after all direct Forrest Gump, which he takes issue with.

      • just pillow talk says :

        I know I’m going to regret this, but how does Droid not finding your comment funny make him the “Simon Cowell of the Comedy World?” What does that even mean?

      • Droid says :

        I think it means that I judge too harshly. And I state my opinion.

    • just pillow talk says :

      I saw it again last year, and it’s still midly entertaining. It’s the type of movie where if nothing else is on the tube, you’ll watch it.

    • Droid says :

      Well thats a shame. I might still check it out sometime.

      I loved Flight of the Navigator, but that’s another flick I haven’t seen in 20 years.

  38. Lb says :

    Hey guys – I need to borrow some money…
    50 billion euros.
    I’m gonna buy Ireland. K thanks.

    • just pillow talk says :

      I’ve stockpiled 20 billion internets, will that help? I would have had more but Jarv sucked up a bunch of them a while back…

      • LB says :

        If they just started charging a fee every time somebody pisses on the Blarney Stone-it would raise the cash in no time.

  39. LB says :

    KK-Michael Caine has unequivocally stated how Inception ended-finally! Right bloody proper. Rumours are stating Arronfsky may direct Garth ennis’ Preacher, and possibly john cusack may play jesse. Which would be bullshit-I like the guy but he’s not tough enough. See:2012.

  40. Droid says :

    So it looks like alien invasion disaster movies are back in vogue. District 9 was a hit so we get Skyline, Battle Los Angeles and now this…


  41. Droid says :

    Also, why did they cancel Law and Order only to replace it with L&O:LA starring Skeet Ulrich of all people?

    • koutchboom says :

      To make it look more like CSI. Terrace Howard and Alfred Moligna are in it? I thought they had careers?

      Also you were right Lonestar got cancelled. FUCK! I thought it would at least get 10 episodes.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, Lonestar did get cancelled. They didn’t exactly give it a chance. 2 eps in and it’s gone. Has anything been cancelled quicker?

        Howard and Molina? Fucking hell. Howard I can understand, but Molina shouldn’t need the cash after two Bruckheimer flicks on the trot.

  42. Droid says :

    What to watch? Maybe I’ll watch Commando. Gotta catch up on my Arnie series. I have been very very lazy.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah Film Drunk is funny sometime. they’ve actually quoted my twitter before. But I think most people just miss the point on Armond. And really all this ball sucking of the Facebook movie is stupid. Like I don’t see why anyone would give a shit if you didn’t like that movie. There is nothing emotionally resonating about it for people to grab onto. It’s not like some movie people will hold near and dear to their heart. Its like something you would see on True TV just shot a little nicer and with shitty cold air breathing effects.

  43. Franklin Thomas Marmoset says :

    Oh dear, I have made a terrible mistake.

    Ate a chicken tikka slice and I can already feel it churning away down there, amassing troops down south and preparing for a full-scale assault, if you know what I mean.

    That chicken tikka slice could be the end of me.

    If you don’t… hear from me again…

    remember me… as a man who loved…


  44. Bartleby says :

    To put ol’ Armond into perspective, and give a final word on where he stands and what he’s really about, here’s a segment from his Let Me In review:

    “The 2009 Swedish film Let the Right One In originated this confusion. Its title—borrowed from a 1993 Morrissey song that expressed adolescent longing— sentimentalized moral ambiguity. Abby cannot enter her friend’s home without being invited, requiring his acceptance of evil. Bringing teen anguish to vampire lore (M. Night Shyamalan-style rather than Buffy-style) was lamely nihilistic—and inferior to the vampire romance Twilight that opened the same season.”

    • koutchboom says :

      Good. Glad to see you are coming around on Armond. Dude knows his shit. You read that piece he put out about the gang mentality toward movie critisim now a days. Nails the issue right on the head.

    • LB says :

      Ha Ha-so he spews Cack, is it? Intriguing…He seems to be, like…an idiot. A very well-educated idiot.

    • Continentalop says :

      I agree with Armond that internet criticism has brought down the level of film discourse, with some obvious exceptions.

      But Armond himself is nothing more than a wannabe iconoclast and contrarion. Sometimes there is a group-gang think amongst the critics and the masses, but sometimes you have to do some soul searching and realizes the problem may lie with you. You might be only person with his eyes open and the rest of the world is deluding itself; but you could also very well be a person with really fucking horrible taste in film.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah Armond has some odd taste in film. But I like reading his shit. Its more interesting then Peter Hammond or Peter Travers or Richard Roper all felating the same shit over and over. I don’t always agree with him. And thats fine that’s have the fun in reading his stuff. I don’t really care if he does it just because or not, as long as he can make good justification for his reasoning. I mean he nails The Social Network dead on. I almost didn’t write my review after reading his because he hit all the issues I had with that movie. When he is right he is right.

        Conti I know you hate this argument but check out his Shutter Island review I think he nailed the issues with that movie really good. If not that then check out his Greenburg review.

        I like how thinks BEYOND the coolness factor of the film and what the film really says. I think he doesn’t down play movies that everyone loves. I think he honestly hates those movies. I think he may up play other movies just for the sake of argument and comparison. Which I don’t really mind. Its fun to read a positive review for Jonah Hex.

  45. Droid says :

    New Arnie review up. On that note, sleepy time.

  46. D.Vader says :

    Just wanted to say thanks for all your support guys! AICN is fucking nuts right now. Devin from CHUD is there, Gabriel Gray showed back up to spam every talkback cursing Devin’s name, and now I’ve become a joke and meme myself. And everyone is fucking blasting Harry and Beaks all over the place. Its the most interesting its ever been in years.

    • Tom_Bando says :

      Ha ha that’s good. I stand by my comment that Beaks is a bag of shit, and that by banning yourself, he became an even Bigger Bag of Shit(TM) if that was ever possible. And now w/ that Devin Critter there—egads. They might’s well bring back Minor Jeff.

  47. koutchboom says :

    Oh yeah Echo how was Dancer Mao? Any good? How was Bruce’s Droidness? It’s showing here but I’m not that interested in seeing it really. Possibly rental.

    • Bartleby says :

      Its a good movie Koutch. Not spectacular, but good. That seems to be the theme this fall;not great, but good. The Town and Buried being exceptions.

      Except for tonight when I went into something absolutely dreading the experience and came out surprised to find that there are now 2 great movies in the world adapted from the novel Let the Right One In.

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