Burt Gummers Rec Room- January 2010 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang.



December 2009

November 2009

1,796 responses to “Burt Gummers Rec Room- January 2010 Archive”

  1. Jarv says :

    It’s all bolloxed.

    the torrent is telling me that it’s going to take 2 days to download leviathan. That’s all fucked up.

  2. Jarv says :

    Fuck me. I can’t believe this PC didn’t have Winzip on it.

    This is what happens when you cannibalise stuff from elsewhere.

  3. Jarv says :

    Except it didn’t work

    Fuck me. I didn’t realise getting this film would be so hard.

  4. Jarv says :

    I have.

    And even replied saying thanks and everything- that’s where I got the new one from.

  5. Jarv says :

    Seriously, no piss taking or anything-

    Thanks for everyone for the help in the last few days, it’s most appreciated.

  6. Jarv says :

    Also, I appear to have accidentally downloaded it twice. But both files are completely different sizes.

    I am clearly a fucking caveman when it comes to this shit.

    • Droid says :

      the one i sent you is made up of smaller files. you need to dload the whole lot before trying to join them with winzip

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah, I know.

        I’ve got all of them aside from 1 which it keeps saying come back to in a few minutes.

      • Droid says :

        It’s because they limit the amount of free downloads. You can pay for premium, which is unlimited, but if you exercise some patience you can get it for free easy as.

  7. Jarv says :

    This reminds me of the glory days of Kazaa. Seriously- watching the download speed.

    We cried in the office on the day Kazaa went down. It was literally the day the music died.

    In a way, I was lucky, because it was about the same time that those bastards at universal started slapping people with suits for illegal filesharing, and I was international licensing manager at the time.

  8. Tom_Bando says :

    I see J D Salinger died today. That’s funny, he lived about 20 miles from me. Person I work w/ today was telling me about seeing him come into the bookstore she worked at a few years back off and on, apparently ole’ JD was a regular there.

    I may very well have seen the guy lurking around, but he didn’t really stand out, lanky old guy in his 80’s who kept to himself by all accounts.

    No Salinger robots were seen in the vicinity either dagnab it.

    • Jarv says :

      Christ, really?

      He was a weird guy- I’m expecting to see a whole raft of previously unpublished stuff of his appear in the next few years.

      • Tom_Bando says :

        Yeah he was weird.

        And yeah—they just showed his recent photos on the news. He looked AWFUL familiar, I think I did see him around Hanover NH a couple of times. I had no idea what he might look like as an old guy—but that pointy nose and face, that’s hard to forget. I hated Catcher in the Rye to be honest–so it wasn’t like it made much of a difference to me if he was in the local area or not, but-there it is. He was 91.

      • Jarv says :

        Catcher is overrated, sure- but at the same time it was a real achievement.

        The rest of his life is weird as fuck, and it is odd that he never followed Catcher up.

        Mind you.- if Joseph Heller had stopped at one, the world would be a better place.

    • M. Blitz says :

      Koutch and I were talking about that earlier (it’s mostly deleted now).

      What a bummer. I really liked the idea of knowing that Salinger was still around, up in New England, just sort of hidden away. And I loved his writing when I was younger… A Perfect Day for Bananafish was the most amazing short story my little 11 year old self had ever laid eyes on. Re-read Franny & Zooey a couple years ago and it’s held up nicely as well.

  9. Jarv says :

    I’m not convinced this film is worth it- I know it’s good, but it’s a bit shoddy as I remember.

    • Droid says :

      I’ve never seen it. I’m getting it as well.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s fun.

        And it has a great pay off line as I remember. It isn’t shit- the cast is superb, and it’s billed as Alien under the ocean (which it isn’t).

        It’s a fun creature feature more than anything else.

  10. Jarv says :

    And I would like to take blame for the following referrals:

    nudity, tits, porn, ass.

    And this is before Swamp Thing and Killer Nun.

  11. Jarv says :


    Night all.


  12. jarv says :


    The fucking PC died overnight, how fucking irritating.

    It just won’t boot up now and keeps resetting at the same point. I shall ask our IT nerd today

    • Droid says :

      I guess that answers the question…

      What happens when you download 10GB of Womble porn in 6 hours?

      • Jarv says :

        That’s so fucking irritating. I left it alone to finish downloading First Power and when I came back in the morning it was stuck right at the beginning of booting up.

        So I thought we’d had a power surge or something, and hit “start Windows normally” and it just reset the fucking PC and dumped me back to the same fucking screen.

        So I hit “safe mode” whatever the fuck that is, and the cunt did exactly the same thing.

        I hate computers. I’ve yanked the power lead out of it, and I’m going to leave it until I get home, hopefully it will have fixed itself. Our IT nerd isn’t in today, so I can’t ask him.

      • Droid says :

        That sucks. Is it an old computer?

        Do you have the original windows disk? You may be able to do a recovery from that.

      • Jarv says :

        Nope, not especially old,

        and I inherited it, so I haven’t got the XP disc.

        I do, however, have an old laptop that I haven’t been using because the screen is fucked, but if needs must then I can connect the monitor and use that.

        I don’t want to lose the PC, because it’s got lots of cool shit on it (that Power DVD tool I use for the screenshots, Professional Nero)

      • Droid says :

        Media Player Classic does that.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah I know, but the Power DVD one is superb.

      • Droid says :

        What’s the difference?

      • Jarv says :

        Speed I can take the shots at- I can let it play and grab as it’s going.

        It’s a great tool.

  13. Jarv says :


    That’s Jarv’s brief flirtation with the internets at home over with for a while.


  14. Droid says :

    That news of JD passing away is saddenning, as Catcher is my favourite book. Yeah, it’s a fucking cliche or whatever, and some say it’s overrated, but I’ve read it 3 or 4 times and it’s amazing. The only book wanted to read more than once (apart from The Enormous Crocodile).

    In related news, I’ve heard he was working on the final draft of a new book. It’s a pity they won’t be able to release the final version, but I understand there is plenty of documentary footage of him typing that they can edit together and release at the cinema.

    • Jarv says :

      In related news, I’ve heard he was working on the final draft of a new book. It’s a pity they won’t be able to release the final version, but I understand there is plenty of documentary footage of him typing that they can edit together and release at the cinema.


    • koutchboom says :

      I already thought he was dead. So it didn’t much bother me.

      Wasn’t like the guy was on a hot streak or something.

      But yeah Catcher is probably the only book I was forced to read that I actually liked. One of my fav’s.

  15. Droid says :

    Searches courtesy of Frankie

    “beach ball alien”

    Searches courtesy of Jarv

    “torrent porn”

    Ta, Jarv.

    • Jarv says :


      In my defense, it’s in reference to Venus in Furs.

      And I think it’s far more credible than the “Watchmen Poster” searches we keep getting, you blue-dong addled perv.

    • Jarv says :

      That was me- it’s the picture I used for one of the best of lists.

  16. Jarv says :

    Nearly. Next monday.

  17. Bartleby says :

    one of the oddest searches was from a few days ago…I dont remember exactly but it was something like rubber elephant mom sex or something.

    Jarv, you are probably going to need to go in and reset your computer to a later save date. You won’t lose any films you downloaded but you might lose any program you installed on it prior to the last save date.

    • Jarv says :

      How do I do that? It won’t let me past the select mode bit.

      I don’t even get a splash screen.

      Predictably, me being me, I don’t have the fucking XP disc to reinstall.

  18. Droid says :

    Jonah, have you seen or are you going to see The Chaser? Ebert reviewed it this week. Sounds like it could be good.

  19. Droid says :

    Another odd search that found its way here…

    “постеры к фильмам up in the air”

    Is that russian?

  20. Jarv says :

    “incest elephant mom tube”

    We’ve got a few for things like “split beaver” as well.

  21. Droid says :

    “coked fish”


    What does that even mean!?

  22. Droid says :

    Today is taking FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Jarv says :

      Fucking too right.

      And I’m sick of reading tech help threads that I don’t really understand.

      I want to do the Swamp Thing review with the NSFW link and I can’t do that at work.

  23. koutchboom says :

    Fuck my work. It iced all last night, now snowing. EVERYTHING in closed, the government took a day off. All schools are closed.

    My worked stayed open. Pretty much forced people to take a sick day instead of just giving everyone the day off.

    • Jarv says :

      That’s mean spirited.

    • Droid says :

      As Bart said in a very early ep of The Simpsons…

      “Working is for chumps.”

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah its seriously fucked up. First off I’ve got FUCK all to do at work today anyway. Secondly I’ve just had a lot of work done on my car. I don’t feel like getting it fucked up because some True Blood American in his Gay-150 can’t fucking drive. Also they’ll probably send people home around 12ish. So fucking lame.

        I do work for a faceless corporation, so its to be expected.

  24. koutchboom says :

    Well I watched most of Heathers (fell asleep) and Raising Arizona last night.

    RA was a lot better then I remembered (and I only saw it for the first time like a year or two ago). And save for the suicide note in Heathers I don’t really see how World’s Greatest Dad is a rip off of that film.

    I wouldn’t mind hearing a commentary from the writer and director of Heathers (theres gotta be one I think they had a special super edition not too long ago) to hear what they had to say about the outfits. Sure stuff like that was popular but they had to go overboard.

    Also the WHOLE fucking school of teenagers all look to be in their 30s.

  25. Jarv says :

    Wait- I’m a complete moron. I’ll go and ask the IT teacher.

  26. Droid says :

    It’s just started absolutely chucking it down here. But it looks to be brief.

  27. koutchboom says :

    Should I do a Miramax obit?

  28. koutchboom says :

    You know I just realized….I guess I’m ‘technically’ working right now. I mean I’m still getting paid to do the same thing I do when I’m at work. I should bring this up at my next review the possibility of working from home.

  29. koutchboom says :

    Fuck me. What the fuck did I order off of Amazon.

    They just sent me an e-mail about Post Grad because they think I would like it based off of something I did over there.

    • Jarv says :

      Porn probably, knowing you.

    • Droid says :

      I think it was your purchase of The Sisterhood of Travelling Pants double pack dvd special edition.

      • Jarv says :

        Complete works of Mormon Porn, bound in leather, comes with a new pack of M&S knickers.

      • koutchboom says :

        No i don’t want to know the last things you guys ordered from Amazon. Thats not helpful.

      • Droid says :

        Last thing I ordered from Amazon was today actually. I used my precious £30 gift certificate to buy The Matrix trilogy on bluray and also Fight Night Round 4 on ps3.

      • koutchboom says :

        Actually the last things I order on Amazon was a bunch of shit for Christmas including a couple of children’s books for my niece, and a couple of Mystery Science Theater box sets for my father in law.

        So I’m thinking that it could be because of either of those purchases.

      • Droid says :

        I think I know why you got that notification. You clicked ‘Notify me when gay orientated products become available’, right?

        I think Post Grad may be the least of your problems, Koutch.

      • koutchboom says :

        Sure why not.

      • Jarv says :

        Last thing I ordered off Amazon- DVD Burner.

        Which is going to make a very handy doorstop if I can’t get this fucking PC fixed.

  30. koutchboom says :

    Well the wife had the great idea of ordering a bunch of pizza the other night instead of going to the local Tescos. So off for morning pizza.

  31. Droid says :

    Koutch, did you finish that King book yet?

  32. Jarv says :


    I think I know how to fix it now.

    On one of these threads, someone typed a response in pure geek with untold stupid abbreviations (What’s a BIOS by the way?).

    The guy that posted the original question typed “I haven’t a clue what that means, can you explain it really simply?”



    Let the piracy commence.

    • Droid says :

      BIOS is the basic input output system. It’s the inititial firmware interface. It identifies the system (ie. sound card, hard drive, DVD ROM etc). It boots your software (windows). A computer won’t work without it. In fact, it’s the first thing before anything else and is built in to the motherboard.

      In short, it’s important.

  33. Droid says :

    Huzzah! 5 O’ Fucking Clock. And I’m off. I’ll check in sometime later on.


  34. Jarv says :

    Jonah- is this what you meant by going to a later save:

    Press F11

    Select Advanced Options

    Select Restore Manager

    Pick older date (in my case that will be about 1 week ago)

  35. koutchboom says :

    I know you blimeys don’t really care. But this Jay Leno/Conan thing is such bullshit. Leno is just a company shill.

    I’m sorry I can’t feel bad for a guy who’s got the worlds biggest car collection, who HAS TO have a job.

  36. M. Blitz says :

    Holy shit, how’d it get so late? I was about to say good morning, but it’s not morning anymore. Goddamn.

    Anyway, American Pickers. Anybody seen it? Oh god. Fuck that show.

    They randomly went to this guy’s farm, and he was craaaaaazy old, WWII vet, who’d been in Japan right after the bombing of Hiroshima, like, immediately after. And he had this samurai sword from way back that they wanted to buy. So they ask the guy, how much? And this ancient man, in a weak & shaky, I’m-about-to-drop-dead-from-age voice that you can barely hear says, “A couple hundred, i guess…?”

    Cut to these two conniving little fucks gloating, “oh! it’s priceless! woohooooooo!!” Yay, we just ripped off a senior citizen! So BADASS!!

  37. Jarv says :


    Off to the pub, and then home. With a bit of luck I can fix the PC when I get there.

  38. M. Blitz says :

    ‘Wolf Moon’ tonight!


  39. Bartleby says :

    Total Film did a list of 600 movie blogs. There’s barely any rhyme or reason to it. Cinematropolis is on page 4 while Twitch is on like page 5. No sense.

    And there alot that are just pathetic. Theres something like twenty twilight blogs.

    We should try and get Werewolves on the Moon added there.

    • koutchboom says :

      Totally, we are doing things here that you won’t find anywhere else. Like Species marathons! Where else you gonna get that sort of entertainment for FREE!

  40. koutchboom says :

    You know whats fucked up. Kids-in-mind, they actually spoil a bunch of films. And also their breakdown of Funny People trying to go over all the dick jokes is funnier then the actual movie.

  41. koutchboom says :

    If you feel like reading:

    SEX/NUDITY 9 – A man (bare-chested) and a woman (bare breasts are seen) are shown, waist-up, engaged in intercourse; the woman is shown thrusting and is panting. A man and a woman are shown engaged in intercourse: the man is thrusting from behind and the woman moans and asks him to squeal.
    ► A woman kisses a man passionately, pushing him against a door; they are shown lying in bed, kissing passionately, the man pushes her dress up (her bare stomach is exposed) and it is implied that they have sex. A woman wearing a bikini jumps on a shirtless man, wrapping her legs around his waist, while he kisses her; he carries her off, and a portion of her bare buttocks is shown. A man and a woman are shown, presumably nude but wrapped in sheets, lying in bed together, implying they had sex.
    ► A man is shown closing his robe as he walks out of a bedroom, followed by a woman; another man asks if the two had just had sex and the man and woman confirm that they had.
    ► A man and a woman share an intimate kiss. A man and a woman kiss. A man and a woman walk hand and hand, and the man kisses the woman. A woman kisses a man on the cheek as she hugs him. A man and a woman hug and the woman places her hand on the man’s knee. A man and a woman hug warmly. A man and a woman embrace in a friendly hug, and the man comments on how attractive the woman looks. A man and a woman hug and then hold hands. Two men are shown cuddling platonically on a sofa bed. Two men share a friendly hug while one of them weeps.
    ► A man jokes with another man, crudely detailing the way he had impregnated women, by performing oral sex on himself and then spitting the ejaculate into the woman’s vagina. Two men discuss intercourse and whether one would have intercourse if an attractive woman offered to have intercourse with him. A man asks another man if he would like to engage in intercourse with two girls that are standing in front of them. A man jokes about a woman engaging in oral sex with him, giving a vivid description of the action. A man makes a reference to engaging in oral sex with another man. A man asks another man to describe the first time he had sexual contact (using crude language) with a woman and the man describes what happened. Three men discuss how they are attracted to a woman, and all three of them state that they would like to have intercourse with her; one states that he’s willing to allow his friend ten days to “hook up” with the woman, and if his friend does not “hook up with her” then he will have sex with her. A man admits to his wife about having had extramarital sex after she asks him if he had an affair. Two men discuss how a man had cheated on a woman. A man jokes about having intercourse with two different women. A man makes a crude joke about an older man and a woman having intercourse and masturbating. A man and a woman joke about how they lie about having engaged in intercourse with one another, and the woman then graphically describes intercourse and makes a crude gesture. A man jokes with a group of people about the genitals of another man. A man says that another man should touch his genitals. A woman discusses how she had engaged in intercourse with a man. During a fight, a man shouts at another man that he is engaging in homoerotic behavior. A man, commenting on the good luck of another man, jokes that the man must have had intercourse with the Devil. A man makes a joke implying having had a dog lick his genitals. A man says that he cannot date a woman that had previously had intercourse with his friend. A man asks another man if he is still engaged in a sexual relationship with a woman. A man jokes about having oral sex with another man and about the size of his genitals. A man uses crude terminology for an erection after discussing a woman and intercourse. A man says that he was unable to have intercourse with his wife because he was bored. A man discusses with another man and that he has intercourse with women he is not in relationships with, or in love with, on a regular basis. A woman asks a man how many times he had cheated on her, and the man responds that he cannot remember, but wants to continue to have intercourse with her. A woman accuses a man of extramarital sex using crude terms. A man uses crude language to describe what a woman might do to another man, sexually. A man says that people are willing to do a lot for money, implying that it includes people willing to have intercourse in exchange for money. A man jokes that another man had AIDS, then jokes about AIDS medication. A man doing stand-up comedy makes a joke about masturbation. A man jokes that a woman might have had Chlamydia because she had an odor. A man discusses how woman are typically disappointed after having intercourse with him. A man doing stand-up comedy jokes about how easily his friends discuss sex and having sex with women and how he is unable to do that, instead saying that he would “friend” a woman (uses the word “friend” in place of a term for intercourse). A man says that people will engage in oral sex for a video game. Two men discuss how women like to have sex with famous men. A man mimics sex by thrusting his crotch and says that he had sexually dominated an audience, since his standup routine was his genitals. A man mimics oral sex using a Popsicle. A man tells a joke imitating his genitals discussing masturbation. A man jokes about masturbation with two men and a woman. A woman doing stand-up comedy discusses how rap songs tell women to do crude sexual acts. A man jokes that he is going to hold a woman very tightly. A man tells another man that if he uses terms for oral intercourse to label his online videos it would get a lot of pageviews. A man says aloud, and then spells, an email address with the word “sex” in it. A man tells another man to “be a man,” implying that he needs to have sex with a woman. A man jokes about the size of another man’s genitals to a woman, in an attempt to get the woman to have sex with the other man. A man asks a man and a woman if they were just engaged in intercourse. A woman discusses how she had engaged in oral sex with a man that was not her husband. A man asks another man if he had just engaged in intercourse, then says that it is obvious that he had. A man jokingly asks another man to show him his genitals and discusses the size of the other man’s genitals. A man jokingly asks another man to expose his genitals and discusses their appearance. A man jokes about the size of a woman’s hands affecting the appearance of his genitals. A man uses crude language to discuss oral sex and discusses the appearance of another man’s genitals. A man jokingly discusses the appearance of a man’s genitals while speaking to a woman. A man and a woman jokingly discuss the appearance of their genitals. A man discusses the size of his genitals. A man makes a joke during a stand-up comedy show about three men touching their genitals together to make super powers. A man makes a joke about genitals and the crude nicknames for genitals. A man uses a crude term for female anatomy and grabs a man’s chest. A man jokes about a young girl getting her period soon.
    ► A man and woman discuss their love for one another, but the woman confesses that she cannot be with the man since she has a family and cannot leave it. A man asks a woman on a date and she agrees. A man asks another man if he thinks a woman would be sexually interested in him. A woman asks a man why he had cheated on her when they were in a relationship, especially since she was “so hot.” A young girl jokes about her married mother being in love with another man, and in a sing-song voice says that they are in love and going to have a baby and get married. A man discusses with his wife how physically attractive a woman is. A man mocks another man for having the last name of “Weiner.” A man refers to another man as his “lover” and “life partner.” A man says that his lesbian assistant had gotten pregnant, joking that it was not possible for lesbians to get pregnant, and another man responds that it is possible. A man mocks another man for crying, saying that his crying made people around them think that they had just “broken up,” implying a homosexual relationship. A man discusses with a young girl how a divorce would affect her and her family. A shirtless man lying in bed asks another man to talk him to sleep.
    ► A woman is shown wearing a very revealing low-cut top, showing cleavage. A woman is shown wearing a short dress. A shirtless man swims in a pool in a couple of scenes and a shirtless man is shown sitting in the shower. Two men wearing swim trunks, and two women, wearing bikinis, are shown in a swimming pool. A man, a woman and a child wearing bathing suits play in a pool. A still photo of a woman in a bikini is shown. A still photo of a woman wearing a long shirt but appearing to not be wearing pants is shown. A still photo of a woman, waist-up, wearing a bikini is shown. A picture shows a woman’s head on a man’s lap.

  42. Bartleby says :

    Koutch, did you just go all ‘Egg Salad’ on us?

    Pages and pages of porn written like a technical manual?


  43. Bartleby says :

    and I know this isnt related..and I possibly missed it…but where did Frankie’s Raimi review go? I didn’t just dream that one did I?

  44. Droid says :

    Why’d you take the review down, Frankie? It was good and I was looking forward to the next one.

  45. jarv says :

    The PC ois officially fucked. None of the F keys work

  46. Tom_Bando says :

    *Why did you yank the Raimi review Lemurset??

    *Koutchey–the Thorazine cabinet is this way>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> that and a few viewings of ‘CondorMan’ will cure what ails ya.

  47. koutchboom says :

    You all need to read the fucking post before the long post. Its the funnier version of Funny People.

    • Tom_Bando says :

      Try Police Academy fan-fiction, from Tackleberry’s point of view.

      • koutchboom says :

        I didn’t write the thing. Read it. Its pretty funny. Its from Kids in Mind.com, where they break down movies for parents and shit. If funny imagining that its someones job to actually write that.

  48. Jarv says :

    Right, by duty of being a genius, I have managed to jury rig the laptop.

    Unfortunately, this laptop is complete shit and doesn’t even have a CD drive.

    Fuck’s sake

  49. Jarv says :

    Not to mention that I can’t do fuck all with it and it’s much slower, the screen’s fucked, so I’ve wired it in to the monitor, and the space key doesn’t work properly.

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