Burt Gummers Rec Room: February 2010 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang.

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2,131 responses to “Burt Gummers Rec Room: February 2010 Archive”

  1. Jarv says :

    I don’t think it could be any dumber without actually being made by a 5 year old.

  2. Jarv says :

    Are you giong to review it Frank?

  3. Barfalicious says :

    Oh man I’ve got to go back and read what lead up to this comment. 🙂

  4. Jarv says :

    I actually lost coffee when I saw that- I’ve never done that before.

    You owe me a keyboard.

  5. Jarv says :

    You know the “I see you” crap is a bastardisation of a Zulu greeting.

    *tweaks frank’s tail*

  6. Droid says :

    It’s official. Frankie will never be able to enjoy Avatar. He’s just too hung up on stuff that makes me chuckle. Half the fun of it is how daft it is.

  7. Jarv says :

    I dunno Droid-

    Part of me is dreading seeing it again, as I reckon it’s a cinema experience and if you see it without that then you’ll notice all the things that suck about it (and there are a lot of them).

    Personally, I really, really enjoyed it, so most of me wants to see it again, but Mrs. Jarv looks murderous when I mention it.

  8. just pillow talk says :

    I think if Chuckie made an appearance, Avatar would be awright by Frankie.

    “I’m gonna get you, you blue fucking monkeys!”

    • just pillow talk says :

      “You better not get my rubber little Chuckie all Blue when we are in the sack. Blue does not agree with me you primitive blue monkey screwheads!”

  9. just pillow talk says :

    There is no doubt in my mind seeing it at one’s home will seriously knock it down a few notches in terms of enjoyment.

    You could forgive some of the bad dialog while watching the cool shit he threw up on the screen.

    Much harder to do once watching it at home.

  10. Jarv says :

    PS- with 2 days to go, in a month of only 28 Days we’re going to have our best month to date.

  11. Droid says :

    I’ve been meaning to see it again. I keep saying “I’ll go this weekend”, but never get off my ass.

    I think I know how it could have won over Frankie. Instead of Jake Sully character, cast Chris Klein and have the character be Charlie Nash.

    Now a Charlie Nash Na’vi would be something to behold.

    Nash out!

    hehe I’m just amusing myself here. Don’t mind me.

  12. just pillow talk says :

    Does that mean we turn to flesh eating crazies since it’s almost 28 days later?

  13. koutchboom says :

    I think unless you watch Avatar from start to finish, with only focusing on the film, not dicking around the internet or whatever. Its worth it, other wise its fucking dumb.

    I’m just basing this on me walking in about 20-30 minutes into an Imax screening to see what the new Imax theater looked like. It was right in the middle of the “Pandora will make you want to take R&R in hell” it was such a fucking stupid line that I bust out laughing and everyone in the theater turned and looked at me.

    So I’m thinking that you need to watch it only from start to finish, so you can get emerssed in this stupid cool looking world.

  14. Toadkillerdog says :

    Speaking of Avatar – and i am almost ashamed to admit this, but last night Wifey and I watched the wimins figure skating. *hangs head in shame hands over Man badge* mercifully, she only insisted i watch the final six. It was not horrible, but the last skater- an American girl of Japanese descent, I swear she looked like a Na’Vi! i mean she had huge cat like eyes and a sort of oval face with almost no nose, but she was still cute! I am not kidding i thought she was a human na’vi.

  15. Jarv says :

    The last third- especially the battle.

    But no, I have absolutely no critical justification for liking it. I think it’s honestly the most expensive piece of schlock ever made.

    Ask yourself this, if it had cost a tenner would you lilke it more?

  16. xiphos0311 says :

    Chipps congrats on the little Chippette, well played on Mrs. Chipps part.

  17. xiphos0311 says :

    Avatard SUUUUUUUUUCKS hairless blue Na’vi balls. Cameron you hack I hope one of your carbon spewing toys fucks you in the ass.

    • Jarv says :

      I’m going to let Mrs. Jarv review it when we get it on DVD.

      These 2 reactions really are making me laugh.

    • Jarv says :

      Did you vote for Cokey on Barfy’s poll?

      *riskily prods xi with stick and prepares to run like buggery*

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Nope that wasn’t me. I didn’t vote for anybody as director. I haven’t seen two of the movies on the list and the rest were various steaming piles of loose shit. I did vote for Waltz as best supporting actor. He was the ONLY good part of Inglorius Assturds.

        Out of all of them I guess I would choose the Crap Locker, not that it’s any good because it’s not, I just want Bigelow to fuck Cameron up the ass with an Oscar.

        Fucking Cameron that condescending fucking piece of shit. Fuck off cock bag your shitty space smurf movie has made me start to question my liking Terminator and Aliens. Thank you for that motherfucker.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Maybe Jimmy will go back and digitally add blue people to Aliens!

      • Jarv says :

        If he does, then I’m in the witchhunt.

      • Droid says :

        I just love how irrational Xi sounds!

        Reminds me of a certain Portuguese fella who has a thing for goats…

        *turns on a dime and runs like the wind*

      • Jarv says :

        Christ Droid, that’s either bravery worthy of a VC or recklessness worthy of Ford Prefect.

        I hope you’re quick.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        How am I being irrational? I’m right so is Frank. It’s all of you who are being irrational for liking a movie you all agree is titanically flawed(yes that was on purpose)

      • koutchboom says :

        Did you see it in theater?

      • Jarv says :

        I own up to irrationally liking it. I admit all it’s flaws and enjoy it on an extremely base level.

      • Droid says :

        Fucking Cameron that condescending fucking piece of shit. Fuck off cock bag your shitty space smurf movie has made me start to question my liking Terminator and Aliens. Thank you for that motherfucker.

        This, to me, is an irrational sounding rant, Xi. No offense, because I rant like this all the time. It’s amusingly unhinged.

      • Droid says :

        I loved the movie. Yeah, it’s got problems, but i didn’t sit there looking to hate it or getting annoyed at the depiction of the Na’vi. I fucking loved it on it’s base level, which is a rip roaring space opera. It’s the most fun I’ve had at a cinema in a long time.

        But I can fully understand that if those flaws are more pronounced for you then you could dislike it. Which is why I understand why Frankie doesn’t like it.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Droid that’s how I normally talk in non-cyber space. I actually clean up my language on posts.

      • Droid says :

        hehe

        Well thankyou for keeping it PG13 on the interwebs. The kiddies appreciate it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I’m with Droid and Jarv on this. I fucking just loved it, its why we go to the cinemas.

        I don’t think its the best movie from last year, but I’m pretty sure it’ll walk away with the Oscar.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Droid I didn’t have that much fun with Avatard and I can’t imagine that seeing it on a big screen would have help that. I’m not that much into SPX anymore I would rather have real characters that I’m interested in and a GOOD story. Mostly I was bored by Avatard and absolutely do not like getting preached at, with all the ham fisted subtlety of George Romero, by a billionaire. THAT pisses me off.

      • just pillow talk says :

        I enjoy many films that are deeply flawed, steal from other movies, shitty performances, plots that don’t make sense…

        Chronicles of Riddick

        Doomsday

        Love these films.

        Outrunning the sun..Necrothingies…knights…cannibals…frisbee throwing…good stuff.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Pillow those movies are actually good and more importantly entertaining and I can rewatch both of those which I have.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Oh, there’s no doubt, at least for me, those are quite rewatchable flicks. In fact, I just watched Chronicles again last week, and I’m thinking of throwing in Doomsday for tonight.

        I should really get a copy of Dog Soldiers too…just thinking of Neil.

    • just pillow talk says :

      You should try and express your emotions on things Xi. If you bottle it up, it will damage you.

      So now go ahead…take a breath…and tell us on you feel about those adorable blue people?

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Pillow the blue people they can go about their business. That’s about all I need to say about them.

      • just pillow talk says :

        As long as the blue people can compete in the Olympics, then you have a deal. They really think they can be one with the puck and score many goals in the name of their glowing tree.

  18. Jarv says :

    And she won’t.

    If you think about it, they have to draw the space-nip. It isn’t clothing. She’s probably like barbie.

  19. Jarv says :

    There’s been some fucking odd searches:

    marmoset moon song? what the fuck

    Frankenfish sexy part? There’s nothing sexy in Frankenfish. I’ve fucking seen it. No boob, no nookie, just a suggestion that the main female character may be a sister-fister.

    • Jarv says :

      Wait, I’m talking bollocks. It’s so gratuitous that I completely forgot about it. Great white hunter/ movie scientist has naked strippers around at the beginning. One of them may shag him while the other fetches a cigar, but I could be imagining that.

  20. just pillow talk says :

    As simple and dumb the story was…the execution of the battle scenes and the beauty of the visuals was more than enough for me to enjoy on the big screen.

  21. just pillow talk says :

    Maybe one of them has one blue boob and one red boob…or maybe there’s one with 3 boobs of different shades of blue.

    • M. Blitz says :

      Are they still remaking Total Recall?

      They could just combine the sequel to Avatar with that, like an alt timeline where Pandora goes to shit, and 3-titted Na’vi (genetic mutation thanks to pollution) run around. In 3D!

  22. Jarv says :

    Quitting there Frank means you miss the worthwhile bits of the film, Fast Forward it to where he rapes big flying space dragon then raises the flagrantly racist tribes (one of them even has a bone through his nose, FFS), for the battle.

  23. Jarv says :

    That’s why I said Fast Forward it- You can watch the good bit, then get rid of it.

  24. M. Blitz says :

    Hahahaha, you sound like Gordon Ramsey on Hell’s Kitchen. You could have your own show.

    “Shut it down! Donkey!”
    “That fat cow of a film just didn’t deserve a place….in Frank’s Kitchen.”

  25. M. Blitz says :

    Avatar is extreme laziness masked with cash. So much cash that it comes flying off the screen. I want it to be so bad that it’s hilarious, but am afraid they made it a little too boring to fully satisfy on that level.

    That’s what gets me….the sheer laziness, paired with the smug, “check out these tribal people, they are better and more natural and they probably don’t even use money…So check out how much money we spent delivering this message!” message…..It borders on obscene. Which would be fascinating in a morbid sort of way, if the movie wasn’t also kind of boring.

    • koutchboom says :

      I don’t know all those people reading into the message crap…I don’t think Cameron gives a shit. He had an idea picked a basic plot and used sterotypes. I could really give fuck all about the message, it was all about that finale battle scene.

      He could’ve fucking done a better score though the fucking theme is a riff on “Near Far, whereEVER you are”.

      • M. Blitz says :

        The message is just dumb and lazy. Of course he didn’t give a shit.

        Cameron not really giving a shit is written all over the movie!

      • Jarv says :

        I disagree- it’s so unsubtle and so obvious that it had to be intentional.

        The other flagrant bit of Score theft was the Aliens theme used in the battle at the end. FFS! How lazy.

        Not to forget that the walkers were clearly pinched from Aliens and the ships the marines flew were straight out of terminator. I think that’s pretty unforgivable, actually, as the fucking film cost 300m or so.

        Having said that, I still don’t care and really enjoyed it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well yeah it was intentional but I don’t think he was trying to say something about anything. He just used them because it was easy. I don’t think JC really gives a shit about any actual forrest or causes.

      • Jarv says :

        Not just that Koutch- but there is a clear, boneheaded and blazingly unsubtle Iraq analogy in it.

        At one point the space marine says something like “If there’s something under their ground that we want, well we just go in and take it”.

        There’s loads of that shit in the film.

  26. Droid says :

    Well, I’m off. I’ll try to write at least two reviews this weekend. But in between cricket nets and Heavy Rain I may struggle.

    Have a good one.

    Na’vi Nash out!

  27. M. Blitz says :

    Awwww, I’m sorry Frank, you are not like Gordon.
    It would be a good show, though. 🙂

  28. M. Blitz says :

    I really want to know, though, if anybody else who saw it in the theater found that they could only really focus their eyes exactly where the 3D was emphasized….I’m just trying to figure out if Cameron has introduced a new level of directorial……fascism? Is fascism too strong a word? Totalitarianism? Any better? Or if the projection was just semi-fucked when I saw it. (Avatar’s the only 3D movie besides the old-school “knives to the face”-style 3D (which I like) that I’ve seen.)

    Or maybe it’s time to put down the coffee………

    • just pillow talk says :

      I only noticed the 3D in a couple of spots that took my focus directly to that. Like when they are in the control room with the 3D screens. I thought the other 3D elements were more subtle or I just got more used to them.

      • M. Blitz says :

        Yeah, it was only at times that it stood out to me as well, but I saw it in a notoriously shitty theater so I couldn’t be sure. There was just something weird about it, like my eyes didn’t feel free to look around as much.

        The battles were distracting enough that I no longer cared. But for certain stretches of the movie I was a bit preoccupied.

  29. Droid says :

    What about Frankie as “Tom Gordon-Green Ramsey”?

    Daddy, would you like some fucking SAUSages!?

    Daddy, would you like some fucking sausAGES!?

    Daddy, listen to me when I’m talking you cunt. Would you like some fucking SAUSages!?

    hehe Again. Just amusing myself.

  30. just pillow talk says :

    Holy shit….sure it did Frankie. No need to get your blue panties worried up in a bunch. Everyone knows you were joking.

  31. Toadkillerdog says :

    Frankie, I think everyone knows that. No thin skinned types around here that can not stand to be disagreed with. That’s the beauty of this place -well aside from that gorgeous picture of the beer bottle in droids mitt!

  32. M. Blitz says :

    Your comments were very funny, Frank. And did not come across as angry in my opinion.

    For my part, I enjoyed the movie well enough in the theater, but in a kind of nothing sort of way. It’s difficult to pinpoint what makes something blandly pleasant. So I reserve the right to bash! Despite the fact that in reality I don’t really care that much. When things (especially super-expensive things) don’t really work, I just find it interesting is all.

  33. koutchboom says :

    Yeah Frank I was laughing at the things you said. But I still say that if you had just gone to the theater you probably would have liked it.

  34. just pillow talk says :

    Wait, I take it back. I’m deeply offended by your comments against a movie that I enjoyed and you didn’t. How dare you…you…you FF loving dirty cunt!

    I demand a written apology in this forum!

    And the font should be in blue.

  35. Toadkillerdog says :

    I enjoyed Avatar for what it was – and I was surprised that I was not bored at it. I can not and 3D though. It was a gimmick in 50’s. It was a gimmick in 70’s. It is still a gimmick today. Every 20 years or so, someone tries to revive it.
    I absolutely refuse to see anymore 3d movies.

    • M. Blitz says :

      I like the non-movies that are in 3D, like when it’s just doing its best to induce vertigo and make you flinch and duck and squirm…..random clips of knives to the face, as noted. Or going off a cliff. Car backing up over you. That sort of thing.

      Granted, these are memories from when I was a small child. But they are fond ones!

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Blitz, ya, you are right. I should have said movies. I loved the preview i saw for the space walk from the shuttle that was in 3D

  36. koutchboom says :

    The coolest 3-D movie I’ve seen was U23D. Don’t know why it just was fucking amazing. Not the music of course.

  37. Jarv says :

    Right.

    I’m off. I’ll be back later with a review, although I don’t want to bump Koutch’s headline off the top.

  38. Tom_Bando says :

    I enjoyed this movie actually, quite alot. Yes it’s Pocahontas mixed w/ Dances w. Wolves and Tarzan and Billy Jack, but it’s a whoooooooooooooole lotta fun.

    C’mon who Didn’t like those floating islands of rock or the big George Harrison singalong around the Thinking Tree or whatever? ‘Myyyy jaaaaaaaaaake’ . ThunderKats are fun. And Cameron didn’t forget that.

    Now, assuredly I’d have preferred Mikey Bay to try this—but you know as well as me that it’d have been even MORE incoherent than Big Robots ETC II, and no one needs that. (Not even me).

    Xiphos–here’s one. Go to Apache Jct. Git a good sized bedsheet. Projector of choice. Circle K of choice, one w/ a semi-intact wall. Show said movie on bedsheet on wall of Circle K in Apache Jct. If it STILL doesn’t work for you—–well, there’s NO shifting it. You’re an Abba fan of good standing.

    *hides behind large rusted out Pontiac*

    • xiphos0311 says :

      That’s an idea Tom but I’m 3000 miles away and it would be a hard thing to wranagle up. One other thing for better or worse AJ isn’t really AJ anymore. It’s more of a bedroom community now.

      • Tom_Bando says :

        It was cliche city. I donno–I enjoyed it for what it was, but have no real intention of watching it again soon. Big Bloo ThunderKats. Works for me.

    • M. Blitz says :

      Actually, in all honesty, some M. Bay-style shenanigans could’ve added the necessary lunacy and/or energy that Avatar’s lacking and needs in order to be the good/dumb time that it really, really ought to be.

      Enjoyed it well enough in the theater, but can’t get over how by-the-book boring my memory of it is. As if Cameron was sleepwalking through his director’s duties. Has its moments but, I don’t know, seems sort of lifeless overall.

  39. Tom_Bando says :

    Blitz–absolutely. I think it did it’s plotpoints and paces just fine, certainly there weren’t that many surprises though outside of the F/X though. Cameron needs to make more movies I think! not wait so long between them.

    • M. Blitz says :

      Cameron needs to make more movies I think!

      Agreed. What does he do between movies anyway? Besides count his money and search for Jesus, that is….

      Maybe Mr. Bay can come on-board for the sequel, the one that will be folded in with Total Remake. Future Pandora? Past Pandora? Either way, I’m sure GIANT ROBOTS will abound and humans will be flocking there for their trashy vacations. Or will they……?

  40. redfishybluefishy says :

    BLITZ – this is for you. I saw it this morning and thought of you instantly. a demented visual representation of your screen name…. http://twitpic.com/15kbjl

    As for the Avatar talk… I did enjoy it, but I admit to being a total whore for scenery and pretty colours and Pandora was a magnificent creation. Plot was meh, message was trite, love story was bearable but bland, Pandora itself was AWESOME. I think Cameron spent more time and energy on creating a fascinating ecosystem than anything else.

    The 3D was distracting (especially in IMAX – yes, I saw it twice, *sigh* i had a good nap through the blow up parts of it the second time), and while I thought 3D Coraline was amazing, I think I will avoid many live action 3D movies in the future. Too much distortion with the glasses themselves and I found the transparent reflective surfaces (glass, the computer screens) looked really weird like the hi-light point was a separate surface. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone, but it made it difficult to look at and focus on.

    Ultimately, I think I would really enjoy a Blue Planet type doc about Pandora itself… I think I would like it there 🙂

    • M. Blitz says :

      Ahahahaha….Thanks for the pic, Fishy. Adorable. 🙂

      Blue Planet is awesome. My fave is The Deep. Have you seen any of the Planet Earth series? They’ve got a great deep sea one as well. In addition to just being an intensely beautiful series overall.

      • redfishybluefishy says :

        glad the Blitz approved! yeah, i gotta watch The Deep, one. Haven’t gotten there yet, but yes they are remarkably beautiful. Planet Earth is on my list now, too. Thanks!

      • MORBIUS says :

        The Deep was awesome. Robert Shaw, Nick Nolte, and what should have been an Academy Award performance by Jacqueline Bisset in a wet t-shirt!

  41. Jarv says :

    The BBC does that shit really well- even back to Walking with Dinosaurs.

    Anyway, I’ve got a colossal hangover, fucking Rugby (england lost).

    Crap, think I’m going to puke

  42. Jarv says :

    Just out of curiousity- seeing as I am new to this shit.

    What’s a good download speed?

  43. Droid says :

    I just watched Ninja Assasin, which was, to put it bluntly… garbage.

    The best part of the movie was the random use of Shazam! by Spiderbait over the end credits. That couple of minutes was far more enjoyable than the preceding 90.

    Initial thoughts…

    It’s so dark that it made AvP:Rectum look like it was shot on the surface of the sun. Someone obviously forgot to tell McTeague that a faceless hoard of stuntmen clad all in black will not show up on camera if you do not light the set.

    Apparently there are no Germans living in Berlin. Only British, American and Asian.

    When you’re trying to lay low in a motel after escaping in a half destroyed car with countless ninja stars sticking out of the bonnet, maybe you shouldn’t park said car right outside under a neon sign saying ‘Motel’.

    Apparantly Ninjas can heal themselves like Wolverine.

    They can also teleport like Nightcrawler.

    Ninjas train for years to be silent predators, but then, just at the moment of attack, scream like 12 years old girls at a Jonas Brothers concert.

    Their weapons make shink and swish sounds whenever they are moved.

    • Droid says :

      I couldn’t face anything ninja related after Ninja Assassin. It cured me of my interest in Ninjas… But after some ninja-therapy I may check out this Ninja you speak of.

      Ninja.

    • MORBIUS says :

      Didn’t see Ninja Assasin but got a chuckle out of your “Initial Thoughts.”

  44. Jarv says :

    Been shopping for the month and got what looks like an awesome piece of schlock- Outpost.

    Nazi+ Zombie= mint

    Although Empire have a quote on the cover, which makes me worried that it may, actually, suck.

  45. Droid says :

    The perfect antidote to a shitfest like Ninja Assassin is a well made film with good performances.

    So I watched Weekend At Bernies 2.

    Just kidding. I watched Crazy Heart. Good flick. Not without it’s problems though. Particularly one plot point which I sat there thinking “Don’t do that. I know you want to because it’s easy, but don’t. Ah, fuck. They did.”

    Bridges is really good. Reminded me a bit of The Wrestler though. Not exactly the same story, but there are definite parallels. But you could say that of loads of flicks. Hopefully Bridges will win the Oscar. If for nothing else than to rectify the appalling mistake of not giving him the gong for Lebowski. Farrell and Duvall are also good. And so is Droopy Dog, but she annoys me a bit in general.

    Overall? Good.

  46. MORBIUS says :

    “Her magnificent breasts thrusting forward, straining at their coverings; aching, throbbing, yearning to feel the cool night air caressing their creamy white skin.”

    Was that in reference to the future Lois Lane, young Erica (Durance) Parkers skinny dipping scene?

  47. Jarv says :

    OUtpost was mint.

    Thoroughly enjoyed it, and review is up.

  48. xiphos0311 says :

    Frank,

    while watching the USA vs Canada Hockey game NBC was nice enough to remind me that the new Lauren Graham show premieres this week, so here is a heads up for you.

    • Droid says :

      Yanks are in a bit of trouble, mate.

      Frankies got the date marked on his calander. He’s got the candles, the oils and the warm wash cloth all prepared for the big night.

      He informed us earlier of his hopes and dreams for the new show…

      “Her magnificent breasts thrusting forward, straining at their coverings; aching, throbbing, yearning to feel the cool night air caressing their creamy white skin.”

      • Jarv says :

        Yes, but it will eventually send him blind.

        Either that or he’ll finally get his period.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Team USA just scored so it’s 2-1 now. They’re clawing back into this thing because they are a scrappy bunch and for today the Canucks are an evil empire and deserve to lose.

    • Droid says :

      They just showed Michael J. Fox. Absolute champ.

      Marty McFly FTW!!!

    • xiphos0311 says :

      My pleasure Senor Marmoset. I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of your simian rage if you missed out on a Lauren Graham sighting. It was really a self defense move on my part.

  49. xiphos0311 says :

    They just aired a Clash of the Titans ad and I think it might just be gloriously stupid enough to be entertaining.

  50. xiphos0311 says :

    This is a really good game between Canada and the USA.

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