Burt Gummer’s Rec Room

A gathering place for paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang

August 2015: Dryer than a bone, and hotter than the surface of the sun- yup, it’s summertime in Perfection and El Blanco is on the prowl.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom. So, be warned that this is like taking a naked swim in a piranha tank and not recommended for the faint of heart.

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8,567 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room”

  1. Jarv says :

    OK. Finished the Boys. It looks like they’re going miles away from the source material. This is a good thing.

    However, (Massive Spoiler), that fucking rape scene where the girl fisted The Deep’s gills while sitting on his chest masturbating must be the single most revolting thing I’ve seen on TV in a while. It’s got to the point where I now actually feel sorry for him, which is weird, because he’s a clear hate figure.

  2. Jarv says :

    Shit. Roy out for fuck all. England 22/1

    Knew this was going to happen. He plays with hard hands and flashes outside off stump. With a full slip cordon they’ll gobble him up.

    He’s not a test opener.

    • Jarv says :

      71-1 at Lunch. England looking to wear down main Aussie bowlers. Burns been all at sea against Lyon, but he’s hung in there. Sids been OK.

      • Jarv says :

        Root has not been good. Got massively lucky when that Bail didn’t come off. He looks hopelessly out of touch, but he has since that SF innings against Australia.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m legit starting to think that we should just DRS every appeal at the moment with these two dickhead umpires

      • Jarv says :

        Root gone for 57. Meh. That’s pretty much standard for him nowadays.

      • Jarv says :

        This Aussie bowling line up is weird, now I think about it. Pattinson’s always been the “worst” of the Aussie big gun bowlers, and I get that Starc’s not 100% fit, and Sids is a legend, but it feels weird that Pattinson and Sids were selected over both Starc and Hazlewood. Also means promoting Cummins to opening bowler, when I think he’s a fucking scary first change.

      • Jarv says :

        That was some bullshit with the ball change.

      • Jarv says :

        England 2 behind with 5 left. This shows how badly Australia batted, DIY boy excepted.

        Stokes should be ashamed of that.

      • Jarv says :

        300-6. Burns gone. Tail needs to wag a bit.

      • Jarv says :

        Jesus. Batting collapse. Piss poor from Bairstow and Moeen.

      • Jarv says :

        90 lead. Retrieved by Broad and Woakes. Cheating cunt number 1 out. Aussies in a bit of a hole.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Ha! Hilariously terrible review. Who? is really carrying us here. Damn, he’s good. Getting a bit of help, though. Really questioned the Wade selection, but if he can stay with Who? then it’s a good one. Need a lead of 300 min to be competitive. Which is likely at this stage.

      • Judge Droid says :

        New ball. Poms kind of need to clean up asap. Otherwise it’s looking like an Aussie win or a draw. Chasing 300 plus on the final day will be tough.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Who? is out. So it’s on the board.

      • Judge Droid says :

        If we’re going to push for the win, we’ve got to declare today. Try to get a wicket. Otherwise we’re just rolling the dice and hoping we can force a bit of a collapse.

      • Jarv says :

        Played Aussies. We were utter shit. Don’t pick half fit old bowlers. Really fucked us.

        Long day clinging on for the draw. We’re not knocking close to 400 off in a day. Piss poor.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Thumped them in the end. Great performance in the field. I’d like Starc in the side, but it’s hard to justify dropping any of the bowlers. Going forward, our batsmen need to get their shit together. We cannot rely on Who? getting 140 every innings. He’s easily the best batsman in the world again. He needs help.

        A lot of failures for the Poms as well. The only guy that can really hold his head high is Woakes.

      • Jarv says :

        Burns. Good ton in the first dig. Woakes and Broad bowled well in the first dig. That’s not really the problem though.

        We’re overly reliant on old bowlers and quite why we selected Anderson when he’s half fit is a mystery. As soon as he broke we were basically playing 10 v 11, and it showed. Broad will break now, bet you.

        On the batting front, this is such a statement of the fucking obvious, but ROY IS NOT A TEST OPENER. Credit to Burns for turning it around, but it’s fucking absurd that for the last 3 years we basically have number 4 coming in every time for fuck all for two on the board. Root’s inability to go from 50-100 is now looking terminal.

        Then, we have Denly, who shouldn’t be in the side, and is being protected by Root so he’s coming in at 4. Then instead of a 5, 6, 7, 8 we have 3 sixes and a 8. Which brings me on to Moeen. Love the guy, but he’s got no business being in the side. Our tail basically starts at 5 at the moment.

        We’ve cultivated all rounders (and we have quite a lot of decent ones) for the ODI’s, which means our test side is all over the place. This is what I want to happen for the next match:

        Burns (earned his spot)
        Sibley (Kid’s scoring SHIT LOADS in the counties)
        Root (for lack of options)
        Buttler
        Stokes
        ROY (Play him in his actual spot)
        Foakes (wk)
        Woakes
        Archer
        Broad
        Leach

        Buttler is probably a bit high there, but we are totally out of options. This could be a long series. The only thing cheering me up is that the Aussie batsmen, bar Smith, are basically bobbins.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Burns did well in the first innings, but his batting is plagued by the swing and miss. He’s the epitome of the ‘not good enough to edge it’ cliche. If he were any good he would’ve been out for 20.

        Ali, Bairstow and even Buttler look shot. Bairstow swings at every delivery and Ali swings at no deliveries. Broad and Woakes bowled well on day 1 when the pitch aided them. The pitch was dead by the 2nd innings and as a result they were ineffective. Broad mostly. I like Woakes. Good bowler and a very handy lower order batsman. He’s got a ridiculous record at Lords, so if that shows then it’s Englands test to lose.

      • Jarv says :

        I tend to agree about Burns. He’s a horrible batsman to watch, but I think scoring a ton on your debut ashes test gives you some credit. I also think he’s not really the problem.

        Agree about Bairstow. I’d drop him. He needs a break. He’s been playing non-stop in all formats for about 3 years. I also agree about Moeen- I have no idea what the fuck has happened to his batting, and his bowling was just shit.

        Broad and Woakes need atmospheric conditions to help them- they got them on day 1, but not really after that. Root’s captaincy needs looking at because he only bowled Woakes for 7 overs in the second innings.

        Saw this posted:

        Burns, Sibley, Root, Roy, Stokes, Foakes, Woakes, S Curran, Broad, Archer, Leach

        That’s not a bad shout. Feels a batsman light to me, but we’ve not had a number 3 since Vaughan. (Trott was not a 3), and doesn’t really solve the shit batting problem.

        Expect to lose, to be honest. Australia don’t have Mitch to melt down at Lords, and it’s a shithouse dead pitch, so I’d expect Australia to romp it.

      • Jarv says :

        The other option is to drop Buttler and select Foakes telling Bairstow to bat at 4 and bat properly. They were doing this in the winter and they scored runs. But I tend to think YJB is shot.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, we’ve had some properly unfortunate bowling injuries- Wood is out for the year again, Archer only half fit so not selected, Anderson is crocked. Rashid is crocked.

        Coupled with bad luck in several Batsmen losing form and we could well get thoroughly done over.

  3. Toadkillerdog says :

    Just seeing if this works

  4. Toadkillerdog says :

    Hola folks.
    I was cleaning up old accounts and email addresses I no longer use – or that were ever only used for junk mail and I came across a relic I had mostly forgotten about. It made me laugh and it also prompted me to ‘come clean’ after all of these years. Ahem: I was the Liberal Warrior. Yep. Sorry if I insulted any of you! Ha. I think Conti is the only one I ever let loose on in this group and he deserved it! Ha! Just kidding Conti is a cool dude. I guess i done mellowed out and gone motarded in my old age. Hope y’all enjoyed the mini trip down aicn lane, if any of you still even remember ol LibWar

  5. Toadkillerdog says :

    Hey Jarv,
    Ol Ruf passed away. I posted his Obit here several months ago.
    Yeah the ‘Warrior’ in the screen name should have given it away! Ha!

  6. Xiphos0311 says :

    Saw Once Upon A Time in Hollywood. Surprisingly enough it didn’t suck, in fact it was pretty good. Yeah there was some patented Cokey over indulgent shot selections that went on for ever. It ran a bit long and could’ve been trimmed. And yeah at this point I think Cokey is trolling people with the foot fetish because there was maximum feet in this thing.
    However, the story is interesting, Pitt and Dicaprio work well together all the acting is good by everybody. The movie isn’t about Manson, in fact, he’s only in it for about two minutes.(weirdly being played guy playing Manson on another project) The Manson Girls are in it way more.
    The movie is really more about Hollywood and actors/acting and and the city of Los Angeles with Manson’s BS floating around in the background. I suggest if you go and see it don’t read anything about the ending of the movie it will work better. If you aren’t planning on seeing it or don’t care I’ll spoiler tag a post about it, let me know.
    Now, about all the info Jarv posted this last week, I see what the numb nuts latched onto, however within the context of the movie it is an incredibly dumb argument to make.

    • Jarv says :

      Just finished Deadley Class. 2 observations. Benedict Wong needs more work. It’s ok. Better than Umbrella Academy, marginally.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I bailed on Deadly Class after 2 episodes.

      • Jarv says :

        Those first two episodes were the epitome of meh. It was the third episode on where it found extra gears.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Hmmm…well maybe I’ll give it another shot.

      • Jarv says :

        The third and fourth episodes are really good. The third is a homicidal Breakfast Club knock off that works really quite well, and the fourth is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and is fucking great- the fourth episode got me through a couple of missteps after it.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        episode three and four sound interesting.

      • Jarv says :

        I may have forgotten one. If 2 is the Prom Night one, then 3 is the breakfast club. The main characters are established now, and they’re all (bar Chico, who is a massive dick) quite likable. Course this then gives you horrid Redshirt problems (the rando that gets stuffed in detention with the main crew in three is as blatant a red shirt as can be imagined), but the violence is entertaining.

        Four goes completely off the fucking rails and is brilliant. Ice-T plays a slot machine (seriously).

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I’ll check it out.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s worth a look. They also introduce Fuckface in the Vegas episode.

    • M. Blitz says :

      Just got back from seeing it. Thought it was great. The criticisms I’m seeing do not strike me as having been made in good faith. So very typical of now.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        The criticism is virtue signaling at its worse. Also I hate to defend Cokey but this is what the internet has reduced me too…..

      • Jarv says :

        #metoo

        Never thought I’d see the day when we’re defending Cokey.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Like you said before there is so many other things you can hang Cokey high for, this isn’t one of them.

        That being said the movie was really good and Pitt and DiCaprio have insanely great chemistry together.

      • M. Blitz says :

        Leo is incredibly annoying in general, but he was great in this. And Pitt was perfect.

        The foot shots actually had me laughing out loud a couple times. The ones in the car especially.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Leo was excellent as BOUNTY LAW! (Tuesdays 7:30 pm) I can’t remember the characters name and I’m too lazy to look it up. Every time I thought they were going to make him into a jerk off he redeemed himself. That whole Lancer section was great acting on Leo’s part. Pitt just owned his character from the jump. When he beat up that hippie I cheered.

        Cokey, he’s trolling with the feet now and I had a good laugh over it.

      • M. Blitz says :

        The times had a really idiotic article about the end, and I foolishly clicked a link they included to a review in Jezebel. OMFG. The dude claims that even for him, someone who watches films for a living, the violence against women was just incredibly hard to watch/stomach. Which…..i mean…..he’s fucking lying, right?! I absolutely do not believe him.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Jezebel, bless their hearts, are what they are. A niche blog for NYC fourth wave anarcho-lesbian feminist and their fellow travelers. Even by internet standards it has a narrow range.

        SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ITS BETTER IF YOU ARE PLANNING ON SEEING THIS THAT YOU GO IN NOT KNOWING THE ENDING WHICH I AM GOING TO GET INTO RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!!

        3

        2

        1

        SPOILERS AHOY!!!!!!!!!!

        If they are beefing about the “violence against woman” in regard to the ending WTF are they having the vapors over? Was Pitt just supposed to stand their and let them kill him? Fuck that i don’t care what gender you are, if you are trying to kill me i will put you down has hard as permanently as possible, just like Pitt did. Are they all ferklempt over the dude getting his junk ripped off by a female dog? No I bet they are cheering over that one.
        Fucking internet.

      • Jarv says :

        Jezebel. Ffs.

      • Jarv says :

        Of the old gawker sites only Deadspin and slightly io9 are decent. Thetakeout can have some good shit on it. Jezebel, Splinter and particularly the Root are a fucking oppression olympics car crash.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Don’t forget about the group think AV Club which is all about the white suburban guilt mixed with virtue signaling at its best!

      • Jarv says :

        I hadn’t. They’re shit. Not like kotaku bad but close

      • M. Blitz says :

        SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
        Potentially SPOILERS

        Ok, so I would quibble with the “anarcho-lesbian feminist” characterisation. They tend to be cool. These are more “upper-middle class liberal faux-progressives”. Anyway, even a “faithful” ending woulda had violence against women. And the violence that was included was way over the top, cartoonish, maximum “distance”….def not portrayed in some realistic or torture-porn-ish manner. It was not filmed in some offensive “gendered” way. Bah. The bit in the times was actually (and from my perspective, hilariously, ironically) irritated that Tate wasn’t made to fight for her life(!) and so was deprived of the chance to be a hero. Cuz ya know, every heavily pregnant woman’s dream is to fight off multiple armed attackers.

        And I can’t even deal with the literal counting up of Tate’s lines. So absurd for soooo many reasons, not least of which is that films do sometimes use, um, images to convey meaning rather than dialogue. Also the images chosen were perfect? Considering the main reason anybody now thinks of tate as a big deal is cuz she was murdered? Like, wouldnt it have been way weirder to make her up as a character? Bahhhhh.

      • M. Blitz says :

        And when i say the violence wasnt ‘gendered’ that is SPECIFICALLY the violence against women. The dude getting his junk bit was the only gendered bit. Cokey was clearly very purposeful with this and I’d say he has fully succeeded. Beyond reproach.

        Not that that stops anybody determined to have something (aka the same old thing) to say.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

        That’s the thing though the ending wasn’t even based in reality any way shape or form. You had three made up people in the wrong house attacked by, mostly, the wrong Manson followers. Squeaky Fromm FFS was at BEST, a very very tangential Family member and I think she wasn’t even in LA at the time. There is some thought she might have been involved in the murder of Manson’s first PD but no actual proof.

        “upper-middle class liberal faux-progressives” yeah that’s what I said. 🙂

      • M. Blitz says :

        Yeah, like they all forgot what “once upon a time” tends to signal.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Well when have a bunch of “think pieces” to spew out common sense goes right out the window.

  7. Toadkillerdog says :

    I knew you would Xi especially since I used a favorite Corps expression – Motarded!

  8. tombando says :

    *Toadsdawgkiller-guess I forgot about Liberal Warrior? No worries. Good to see you here sirrah.

    *Saw two movies today-Bohemian Rhapsody and Crazy Rich Asians.

    Bohemian first. Typical Behind the Music formula, I liked Queen, didn’t know diddly about their backgrounds, urmmm Mercury wasn’t a fave but he sure could command a stage. Their music’s fine. Over-played but hey what ain’t? The movie’s good for what it is. I liked the lead guys’ performance yeah he was really good. Check it out if you’re interested in Queen. It’s worth it.

    Crazy Rich etc. Typical Rom-com stuff, but Atypical casting-all Chinese, for the most part, and it’s in Singapore. Wow that’s kinda Abu Dhabi East isn’t it? $$$. I liked it. Has Ken Jeong, urmmm Michelle Yeoh, couple other familiars-turns out the blonde one was Akwafina, likable leads, usual soap opera/comic stuff happens, I donno. It’s a decent movie, not something I’ll likely remember much of in a couple weeks. But I see why it did well a year back. Not bad.

  9. Xiphos0311 says :

    Jarv I watched the IZombi finale here’s some spoiler free thoughts.

    I think Thomas and Wright were so focused on Veronica Mars they left the season to underlings and that was one problem, the other problem….

    Robert Knepper, who played Blaine father, was supposed to be another big bad but he got #MeTooed so they came up with Liv’s father as a substitute and the execution lacked. The changes across the story line were noticeable

    Blaine DeBeers was one of the most grotesque, detestable but likable and gosh darn it you just rooted for him villains in TV history. David Anders was great in the role.

    I thought a wildly uneven season more or less stuck the landing.

    • Jarv says :

      I keep meaning to come back to it, but the first 4 episodes were so bad that it feels like an obligation to finish it. Knepper’s character is FUCKING DONE. He was done when he went in the well, he was done when he came out in the first place. The idiot zombie cult thing was a mildly amusing idea, but wasn’t it basically resolved?

      I’m starting to fundamentally dislike several of the characters. I’ve never liked Major or Payton particularly, and don’t find Major’s ascension to the head of Fillmore-Graves to be convincing (why? he has literally ZERO military or business experience. Why has he got that job?)

      Ravi and Blaine are about the only reasons to persist. Well that and depending what Brain of the Week Liv is on.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I liked the Cult angle but if they slid Knepper into the situation that Liv’s dad concocted it would’ve worked better.

        I like Major, yeah, it was silly he became the head of Fillmore but he was likable. Major had deployed with Fillmore overseas in the early season. He made a name for himself in some make believe middle eastern country. payton was sort of meh but damn was she good looking.

        Ravi, Blaine and Liv on different brains were the best part of the show.

      • Jarv says :

        There were other narrative fuckups that didn’t help it. Liv having to take over as Rebel, giving up the cure for Clive’s missus etc etc etc. I actually think the last season hurt this one. Stupidity was driving plot. .

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        that’s probably not wrong.

      • Jarv says :

        That they kept having to return to the Knepper Well (heh) was kind of indicative that they were running out of steam too.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I think he was in trouble at that point maybe.

  10. Jarv says :

    Xi- you know we were talking about the ex-Gawker shiteholes yesterday? This is a belter from the AsoyClub:

    https://film.avclub.com/our-most-hated-movies-of-the-90s-1798233945

    Falling Down? Falling Fucking Down? You hereby relinquish your right to have an opinion on anything ever again.

    The next two are Chasing Amy and Face/Off which are also objectively bad choices.

    At least they did American Beauty.

    • Jarv says :

      There’s an excellent and thoroughly enjoyable Forrest Gump beatdown in the comments though:

      the movie paints every decision she makes as a failure. It also doesn’t seem coincidental that she represents seemingly every major counterculture trend and movement of the 60’s and 70’s, and without fail every single one is depicted as a mistake or destructive. It’s a character designed only to suffer and be miserable AND designed to do it in such a way that she represents how non-conformity is dangerous and something to be avoided. Contrast that with Forrest Gump, who actually spends stretches of the film literally sitting at home doing nothing waiting for something to happen.

      And they can’t even the character a fucking happy ending? They show her getting her life together and having the kid, but she still gets AIDS (the movie just says she’s “sick,” but come the fuck on), yet since the kid isn’t sick, that seems to imply she got it after she had turned her life around. It’s like this extra little pointless whammy of misery added in there, just to set up the scene of Gump weeping over her grave.

      FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUU, MOVIE.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Yes but she consorted wish Hippies so….

      • Jarv says :

        You know what you get when too many hippies gather together in one place? A music festival.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        you mean a scam?

      • M. Blitz says :

        God I loathe Forrest Gump including and especially for the reasons outlined above.. Hanks now appears to be doing a Gump redux as Mr. Rogers. I could barely contain my disgust when I saw the trailer.

      • Jarv says :

        Blitz is wise. Forrest Gump is a heinous atrocity of a film.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Let’s see if this makes any sense…

        That “takedown” doesn’t really represent an understanding of what Forrest Gump is.

        Forrest Gump is a clipshow of the most well-known historical American events of the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. It is intended, I believe, to be a fable designed primarily to highlight the significant and radical movements and change that occurred during that time period. When viewed as an actual movie taking on the subject matter it does, it’s easily dissected and criticised. But that’s not really the point, or intention, of the movie. I think it’s more of an instigator. Someone might watch the movie and find the period interesting, then go and start reading about it. Or watching other, more important movies or docs about the period. Gump is a way in for people who are yet to discover the complex history of that period. Once they become more educated about it, Gump may turn into a punchline because of its lack of depth and misrepresentation of that history. But the fact that it might inspire curiosity is a positive about the movie, I think.

        Forrest Gump is the same thing as Ready Player One or Stranger Things. It mines the collective nostalgia of a time period for entertainment value. Only Gump uses important historical events that shaped the culture as its bedrock, instead of mining pop-culture for man-boy nerds to jerk off to.

        As a character, Jenny is pretty harshly treated. But like all the characters in Gump, she’s not really a human being. Jenny, along with every other character, is simply an empty vessel for the highlight reel. Jenny is the way the movie can show us the hippie movement, addiction, black panthers, aids etc.

        Gump sitting at home is a fundamentally terrible criticism. Gump is the witness to history. All he does is unwittingly witness historical events. Him sitting at home, waiting for something to happen is the characters role in the movie. He’s a witness to history. If there’s no history for the film to portray, what’s Gump going to do? He’s going to sit around waiting for something to happen. Him sitting at the bus-stop is the movie. He’s there to share his stories with other people, who might then go away and learn more about it.

        I don’t dislike Forrest Gump like you all seem to do. I recognise what it is, and I’m okay with it. It’s not a movie I’m very interested in watching again, but when I saw it in the mid-90’s it showed me things in American history I’d not been exposed to before, and since have learnt more about. In that sense, I think it’s a worthwhile movie.

      • Jarv says :

        Wrote a long answer that got chewed. Bah.

      • M. Blitz says :

        By that logic, isn’t everything worthwhile? Is there anything that couldn’t at least potentially inspire research?

        Even terrible movies can be useful. While still remaining terrible.

      • Jarv says :

        The other problem with that argument is that if you accept that the characters are meant to be ciphers, which is SHIT writing, they then become vessels for the film to push its message.

        In the case of the Gump, particularly regarding the treatment of Jennie, this is a pretty shitty message.

      • Judge Droid says :

        The treatment of Jenny in the movie is a shitty message, but hardly a stretch of reality. The argument that she should get a “happy ending” because of the terrible shit she went through is obnoxious. The tragedy is that she died despite overcoming the childhood abuse, and the adult trauma. She got her life together and died anyway. Giving her a happy ending would’ve been inadequate, and a pretty cheap cop out.

      • Jarv says :

        The problem is that it’s so relentlessly shitty and ties explicitly to that she’s the only character who doesn’t conform. It’s not like it’s a one off thing, it’s every single decision fucks her.

        The happy ending is facile crap. But, by the same score, killing her with AIDS after she spawned son of Gump is way excessive.

      • Judge Droid says :

        The childhood abuse she experienced impacted all of her decisions in the movie. So the abuse was essentially a death sentence. I agree, this is a shitty message. The problem is that a normal girl with a good, safe upbringing who befriends Gump is not, at face value, an interesting character. And it’s not an effective plot device. Making her troubled allows for shortcuts. How else do we get the dark side of the 70’s? If she was a nice girl, it would take too much explanatory screen time. And shoehorning Aids into the movie at the end would’ve been a major bummer.

      • Jarv says :

        The problem here is that there is no need to shoehorn the AIDS in. It was like the end of The Mist where you are the people that left the store alive. Needlessly cruel.

        Also, that right there is character motivation and you’ve previously argued the last she’s a cipher to represent events.

        This is indicative of why the film is awful. It’s trying to have its cake and eat it- push its messages or whatever, without a shred of coherence.

      • Judge Droid says :

        I never said cipher. I think I said empty vessel so that the movie can show us the hippie movement etc. Maybe that’s no different, but my point is that she’s a storytelling device, like every other character in the movie.

      • Jarv says :

        Same difference. I actually agree, but I think it’s so the film can push its independent thought= bad message.

      • Jarv says :

        And while I think about it- she was the only non-conformist free thinker in the film. If free thinking is a result of childhood abuse, then what the fuck? That’s awful.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Other than being a hippie and getting into drugs, how was she a “free thinker”?

      • Jarv says :

        Because from childhood she explicitly has “independent” dialogue. Every other character just follows expectation. Particularly Gump.

      • Jarv says :

        I pathologically hate this film. It’s my room 101 movie.

      • Jarv says :

        Moving from something I hate to something I like: Rivers of London is being adapted.

        If you haven’t read this book series, particularly if you know London, I thoroughly recommend it

      • Judge Droid says :

        What type of story is it?

      • Jarv says :

        Kind of police procedural. Sort of x-files but with magic.

        They’re fucking good.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Pretty prolific writer. 10 books since 2011.

        Will add it to the endless list of books I should read.

      • Jarv says :

        They’re not long.

      • Jarv says :

        They’re also really, really entertaining.

      • Judge Droid says :

        But not every character is fulfilled by following expectation. Lt. Dan is expected to fight, and die. He follows expectation until he realises he doesn’t need to any more.

      • Judge Droid says :

        I think Jenny is simply an underwritten/poorly written character in a movie that is totally uninterested in realistically portraying actual, realistic characters. It’s a shallow fable, and trying to dissect it or even bothering to criticise it… That way madness lies.

      • Judge Droid says :

        It really depends on the intention. I give Forrest Gump a pass because of it’s intention. At least, what I believe its intention is.

        It’s subjective, but not everything is worthwhile. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, for example.

      • Jarv says :

        Intentional fallacy. Also, I read it’s intentions completely differently to you.

      • Judge Droid says :

        And maybe you’re right. But when I saw it way back when, that’s what I got out of it. The intention of the movie was spelled out for me by the opening credits. Gump is the feather. Going wherever the wind (ie. the filmmakers) takes him.

        It’s an easy movie to criticise, and a pretty soft target. It did inspire my curiosity though, so I have a soft spot for it.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I don’t hate FG also don’t particularly like it. Its just sort of there in my opinion. The movie is ever so marginally better than the book which was totally insane.

      • Judge Droid says :

        I’ve read the book as well. He was an astronaut and I think he even came into contact with a South American tribe. Maybe cannibals or head-shrinkers?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Was it South America? I thought I was like New Guinea or somewhere like that. I very well could be wrong. I read the book like 20 years ago.

      • Judge Droid says :

        No, you’re right. It was Papua New Guinea. Totally forgot about the chess thing.

      • M. Blitz says :

        Wait wait wait…..the book makes Gump a fucking ASTRONAUT??

        AHAHAHAHAH. They might as well have left that in. Hilarious.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Yeah Blitz he became an Astronaut. If I remember right Gump started working at NASA because he’s a math genius. Somehow he got into space with a female astronaut and, i kid you not, an orangutan. They crash land on reentry on a cannibal island and survived for years because Gump could beat the Chief at I think chess. oh and the ape and Gump become life long friends and it works on the shrimp boat I think.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Well of course Falling Down was on here. it was all about having to hear the anger of white cis-gendered middle age males and all their privilege. There was no latinX transsexual voices heard. No indigenous peoples needs meet and I bet their craft services didn’t even use fair trade shade grown coffee.

      • Jarv says :

        I was surprised, considering he shoots an actual nazi, and murders the golf guy (the most blatant member of the patriarchy you could imagine).

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        More. White. Privilege!Where was the representation of the put upon Woman of Color? What CLIMATE CHANGE!!!!!!

      • Jarv says :

        They address that. Something about Golf being ultimate privilege when effnic kids could be playing on the course.

        There is a severe lack of LGBTWORDSOUP representation though.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        See? SEEEEEEEEE? no letter vomit was REPRESENTED!!! they’re all ists and phobes!!! WE RIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Jarv says :

        Waitaminute. Yes there is. The two guys shopping in Nazi’s dollar store are called “faggots” and “queers” by said nazi before D-FENS puts a bullet in him.

        But this is not empowering. This is the MAN protecting the minorities.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        White. MAN.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        White male living out his great white savior fantasy.

      • Jarv says :

        White CIS Man

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        the worst of the lot.

      • Jarv says :

        And he’s some kind of proto neckbeard- lives at home with his mum, doesn’t have a job. You know he posts on Reddit/r/rincels or something like that. Probably voted for Cheetolini.

        Definitely a boomer.

        Real bastard.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        The worst and just think we could’ve had a gay, differently able, working at NGO half POC half Inuit inter-sexed short person instead.

      • Jarv says :

        differently able is one of the stupidest fucking phrases in the English language. Up there with “Weaponised Data Analysis”.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        The virtue warriors have mangled and tortured language past the point meaning anything.

  11. tombando says :

    *Forrest Gump-Meh. Overrated. I sat thru it once and mentally checked out about when he was jogging thru the desert with a huge beard and fanboys behind. I donno. It has it’s moments? I generally like Tom Hanks, so-it’s not that I’m going to go out of my way to hate on it. Not so sure about the PC brigade going after it.

    *Falling Down. I like this one! I have it! You know that’s Superstar Steve Forrest as the shaved headed Nazi there? his prize possession is an old can of ‘Xyklon B!’-rattle rattle. There are parts of the thing that don’t hold up as well now, but I don’t mind.

    *I like Face Off. So bugnuts. Overdone 90’s John Woo stuff. Has trendy fight to the death on motorboats at finale ala Patriot Games and the Devil’s Own.

    • Jarv says :

      I actually don’t like Face/Off because I think they got the casting the wrong way round. Cage would’ve been much better in the Travolta role.

      But it ain’t worst of the 90’s. Or most hateful. There was far far worse.

      • Judge Droid says :

        I disagree on this. Cage at home, around the wife and daughter would’ve been waaaaay too creepy. The memorable stuff in that movie is the Cage stuff. “I can eat a peach for hours.” Ugh. He’s so hilariously, crazily OTT as the baddie. Could Travolta have done that drug scene? No. That’s all Cage.

        It’d be a much different movie. Probably not a better one.

      • Jarv says :

        But by the same score, Cage moping in prison doing nothing but pretending to be earnest isn’t a good use of Cage either. And Travolta was/ is creepy as fuck anyway.

        Also, Cage trying to cut his own face off with broken glass at the end would’ve been hilarious.

      • Judge Droid says :

        It’s a flaw of the premise. Other than the drug scene, you only get bugnuts crazy Cage for the opening. After that it’s The Departed. Just substitute the shitty rat with a few doves.

        It’s a tough choice which actor in either movie wins the Golden Ham award. There are so many choices.

        Travolta brought the creepy, I admit. Running his fingers down his daughters face was really disturbing.

  12. Xiphos0311 says :

    New season of Titans hits 6 September. They got super Cuck Jorah Mormont as Batman, not sure how I feel about that. On the plus side the show looks a whole lot better visually.

  13. M. Blitz says :

    RIP Dave Berman. Bummer.

    • M. Blitz says :

      God, the 90s Silver Jews records sound totally different now 😦 So I got news of a girl I grew up with’s suicide shortly before this news broke. She and I had a weird and complicated relationship to one another. It’s all bringing back too much. Harsh and just untenable.

  14. Xiphos0311 says :

    Blitz, season 2 of Succession premiers Sunday.Can’t wait to see what those crazy Roy kids are up to, those scamps.

    • M. Blitz says :

      I have been getting so impatient for its return these last couple weeks!

      Speaking of amoral rich folk…how are you liking this latest twist in the Epstein affair?? Pure pulp through and through.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I’m not big on conspiracies and conspiracy theories but the Epstein thing reeks like something more happened.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Heh. When I saw that news this morning I texted my mate that Epstein had been suicided. But it wouldn’t surprise me that much if he was, considering the people he might’ve taken down with him. A lot of big names had a lot to lose.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Somebody busted out the CIA suicide kit on his punk ass.

      • Jarv says :

        Ha. I thought that too. If he was offed it is genuinely the only bipartisan thing ‘Merica has managed in decades.

      • Jarv says :

        Talking about conspiracy shit- I’ve watched most of The Family on Netflix.

        While I’m sure these pricks do have undue influence on Bible Belt politicians, they haven’t managed to show any malfeasance. It’s like I’ve gone to the circus and not seen a fucking Elephant.

      • Jarv says :

        If I were POTUS, the first thing I’d do is get rid of the National Prayer Breakfast.

      • M. Blitz says :

        So much of it, from the start, has been sketchy and/or bewilderingly vague. If the setting was transferred to Los Angeles, it’d be a james ellroy novel.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Yeah no kidding it could be an Ellroy novel. I could see Big Pete Bondurant or Dave Klein or Dud Smith being the cleaner on this job.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        There was also King Barry First of His Name, that was a bipartisan disaster especially if you were in the armed Service.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        What’s the Family?

      • Jarv says :

        It’s a Netflix documentary about a Christian group with “influence” on America and the world.

        I am unconvinced.

      • Jarv says :

        Kind of wishing I’d watched Rampage again. And that was shit.

      • Jarv says :

        Sharlet says “people always ask me what does the family want to do, and I say what have they done”.

        As far as I can see: nothing.

      • Jarv says :

        This is some wildly paranoid horseshit I’m watching right now.

      • Jarv says :

        Apparently The Family are working to get gay marriage banned in Romania.

        I am unconvinced.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I would get rid of the national prayer breakfast also because I don’t understand why people believe in that nonsense.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes.

        Also separation of church and state and whatnot.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        if we are being technical here there isn’t a clause in the constitution about the separation of church and state. The first amendment says the government won’t establish a state religion like the Church of England. The “separation of church and state” idea found in the writing of Jefferson I believe in the federalist/anti-federalist papers.

        Christ I’m a constitution nerd. I am embarrassed for myself.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s ok. But I tend to believe that separation of Church and State is a good thing.

        The CoE isn’t really analogous- it’s not like Catholicism in Italy.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        during the revolution most of the leadership were CoE, so they got excommunicate by the mad king. It had an affect on the framers of the constitution. That’s why the first amendment includes the line about not establishing a religion or free exercise there of.

        I firmly believe that the separation is necessary because if you don’t you end up with a shit hole theocracy like Saudi Arabia or the like.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh sure. No argument at all.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m actively embarrassed for this Siljander cunt.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        BUT I WANT TO ARGUE, ITS THE INTERNET!!!!! well no not really, its a nice civil discussion.

      • Jarv says :

        I actually didn’t know that prayer breakfast was a thing. I’m a bit nonplussed.

        The documentary is trying really hard to make it a thing. But it’s really not.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        its just political theater to show a reliable voting bloc you are ” one of them” most of those douche bags don’t give a fuck its cynicism at its best. Its what fucking politicians do best.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s another reason to can it.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        they won’t it generates too much money for re-election.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        This discussion will make me plumb the depth of hatred i hold for politicians of any stripe. I purely hate all those pieces of shit.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh sure. I’ve been trying to work out how to nuke the House of Commons from space for years,

        Cos, you know, it’s the only way to be sure.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        naw those cockroaches will survive. you have to root them out and burn them.

      • Jarv says :

        My original plan was to push it into the Thames and drown them.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        drowning might work. the real problem is that there will be a new bunch of wankers lined right up to take their place. There’s a toxic tidal wave of scum waiting in the wings for their shot

      • Jarv says :

        This is what keeps me up at night. They’re the fucking Lernean Hydra

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        the cynical part of me which is just me, thinks its almost better to deal with the devil you know, which plays right into their hands.

      • Jarv says :

        The devil we know is fucking Boris. I’m willing to take a chance.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m a floating voter. I’ve voted for a whole shit load of parties- mostly to stop people losing their deposit- and I wouldn’t vote for either of our main parties if you paid me.

        We are about to get an election, and I’m spoiling my ballot paper this time.

      • Jarv says :

        This needs some context- my MP is probably the most corrupt and useless MP in Westminster. It’s a blue seat, so she will win by a landslide. My vote is completely meaningless, so I’m spoiling.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        there is always somebody worse. ALWAYS. its the nature of the political beast.

      • Jarv says :

        Worse than Boris? Yes. It’s not Gove.

        I hate that I live in a world where Jeremy hunt was a viable candidate for PM.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        that’s how the political system self perpetuates it finds somebody worse.

      • Jarv says :

        Fucking LOL! This series is totally worth watching for the bit where the prayer group pinned the director for having an all white crew.

        Holy shit. Brutal, raw, and outstanding.

      • Jarv says :

        Jesus is not the greatest revolutionary leader in history. Fact.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        so they pushed back hard did they? In this hypersensitive, count the genders and colors age, that would work well.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m impressed they showed it. Director did not come off well.

        They flayed him.

        They’re on Trump now. So meh ORANGE MAN BAD.

      • Jarv says :

        There is no link between Trump and this lot. None.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        it had to be done at some point probably.

      • Jarv says :

        They have nothing. It’s a creepy organization, and the house in Washington wants shutting down, but The Family do not own Trump.

      • Jarv says :

        They’re working on Pence now as the Donald is blatantly not Christian.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        thing is with trump he isn’t really all that religious not like say Bush or how The Clinton’s pretended to be like they did with most everything.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s a cunt. But he is primarily an opportunist and a pragmatist. He isn’t
        Especially religious.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yep he’s a politician.They are all opportunistic, pragmatic, lying, stealing cunts.

      • Jarv says :

        The black dude in the prayer group is fucking gold.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        how is he gold?

      • Jarv says :

        He doesn’t give a fuck. He’s just had an argument with one of the other guys in the prayer group that he won with “its motherfucking Netflix, and you’re trying to censor me?”

        And he was the one that made the director look like a twat earlier.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Ha. Now I might have to chase this show down.

      • Jarv says :

        Most of its bullshit. I’m just finishing it off now.

      • Jarv says :

        The Ensign saga is kind of sad. But I still can’t see a conspiracy.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        well you’ve practically live streamed it and hit the highlights so maybe I don’t need to watch it.

      • Jarv says :

        Miss the first episode. Watch the Ensign one, watch the Africa one, miss the rest and watch the last for the Black dude.

        Who is also a most excellent preacher. And has a wicked voice.

        But I still can’t see the conspiracy.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        you don’t need to see the conspiracy to know its there. see Kennedy, John and UFOs, alien.

      • Jarv says :

        They’ve failed to prove it. And closed the series with a load of self serving left
        Wing shit.

        Right. Off to bed. Ciao

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        later.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Yeah I’m the same. I’ve voted all over the place. I mostly try and pick somebody I think will do the least amount of damage. I am usually wrong.

      • Jarv says :

        Our system is so fucked that I used to find an Indy and vote for them. Where we live now, though, any Indy is likely to be crazily right wing. Labour is a protest vote here.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Lately I’ve come to vote for the candidate that will legalize all vices like weed, drugs and prostitution, just because. Or who makes an promise that is impossible to pull off like getting rid of all taxes or something like that.

      • Jarv says :

        I had the misfortune of meeting one of the Indy’s I voted for. Woohoo. What a cunt.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        When i was in the hospital the last time The two senior senators and like half the house delegation from Arizona tried to get a picture with me. You know wounded warrior and all support the troops bullshit lies. I threw a water jug at McCain’s chief of staff and told him to fuck right off and get out of my room.

      • Jarv says :

        Did you hit him?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        naw, I threw it in the wall next to him. i didn’t want to take an assault charge.

      • Jarv says :

        Bah. They’d never have charged you.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        The Marine Corps would’ve have in a heart beat they don’t like bad publicity or getting on the wrong side of politicians. They almost court martialed me for shooting back which was, the last I checked, THE FUCKING JOB.

      • Jarv says :

        Well, at least you’re out.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yep. I was a gnarly old beast that didn’t belong anymore apparently. now except for special operations and a few specialized units The Corps is full of people with no experience.

      • Jarv says :

        We don’t have many overtly religious politicians. It hurt May, but you don’t hear our ruling class saying god blessed them.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I’ve been down the conspiracy worm hole on YouTube all day. First was watching a bunch of Charlie Manson videos and now, since I can’t help myself, “new” Kennedy assignation garbage that are full of lies. The fucking “magic bullet” theory is a bullshit scam and its quit possible and rather easy to get off three shots with a bolt action rifle in six seconds and hit a slow moving target at less then a 100 yards. And FFS sake there was nobody on the fucking grassy knoll the physics of shooting doesn’t work and SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE SEWERS.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Its been my experience that eastern Europe and Russia are bitterly anti-gay. They aren’t taking a controversial stance.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh sure. I’m almost certain some Quasi-Masonic (Stonecutters) organization in the USA has fuck all to do with it.

        This is what I mean- where’s the fucking Elephant?

      • Jarv says :

        Having said that Jim Inhofe sounds like a cunt.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        oh Jesus they’re dragging the poor mason into this? those poor goofy bastards get screwed over relentlessly.

      • Jarv says :

        Haha. You think the secret handshake would’ve kept them out.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        no kidding! those nerdly civic minded goofballs get blamed for a lot sadly.

      • Jarv says :

        They’ve set him up. He comes across as totally sincere and simultaneously completely duped and kind of stupid.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh god. He’s actually just said that plenty of National agencies have told him he’s an idiot and an embarrassment.

        And he can’t see it.

      • Jarv says :

        Oooooooh fuck me. He is stupid.

      • Jarv says :

        Oh god. He genuinely thinks Jesus paved the way (through him, natch) to Libya’s reconciliation with the West.

        I feel bad for him. I’m actually cringing.

      • Jarv says :

        But it’s still not evidence of some cabal of fundamentalists running Washington.

      • Jarv says :

        Credit documentary. They have him up for ages before they revealed he served time for corruption.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        well that’s a mason for you…

  15. Jarv says :

    OK. Now just about finished reading Lies Sleeping (Rivers of London).

    I would like the following casting:

    1) Peter- wosshisname from American Gods.
    2) Beverley- RUTH NEGGA. MAKE IT HAPPEN
    3) Nightingale- David Tennant
    4) Molly- anyone. We have literally hundreds of women who could play this
    5) Faceless Man- again, we have loads that could do it.
    6) Mother Thames- no idea.
    7) Seawoll- step up Nick Frost, if you can get in shape you fat so and so
    8) Walid- Wosshisname that plays Ravi in iZombie
    9) Guleel- Fuck knows
    10) Zach- We have a million scrotes that can play this.

    and the difficult one:

    Leslie May- No idea. None. Matching the age and the rest of the attributes is going to be difficult. Admittedly, she spends a lot of time under grotesque prosthetic covers, but even then she’s meant to be hot. I kind of lean towards some GoT alum.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Jaime Lannister is pretty. Or Jun Snew! on the other hand unless that actor played a Lannister your show would be fucked. You never go full GOT. NEVER! Almost everybody outside of the Lannisters were god awful garbage just like that awful show.

  16. Jarv says :

    This has been piss poor from us again. Piss fucking poor.

    Buttler needs to go. Roy is not an opener. In fact, I could easily just copy and paste from last match.

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