A Droid Premiere: Robocop (2014)

When sat down to I write this review a few days ago, it was with the intention of not focusing solely on the fact that this is a remake of a great film and a personal favourite. I tried to accept the film on its own merits and not to compare the two films. I finished a draft, but it felt a little unsatisfactory. Like I hadn’t looked properly at the film, and instead, glossed over the big issues. Anyway, what is written below is the same review, but draft two, which hopefully addresses some of these issues. It’s more critical, and it does directly compare the two films. A lot. But only because the remake forces me to. But I guess the important thing is that the rating hasn’t changed. There’s just more context to why I gave it that rating. Anyway…

{INSERT USUAL RANT ABOUT UNECESSARY REMAKES HERE}

It’s the future, and huge corporation OmniCorp have transformed the US military and international law enforcement into robotics dependent organisations. The good ol’ USA has brought peace to Iran, courtesy of the intimidating presence of a fleet of ED-209’s. Whether or not this is actually peace, or oppression, is a question the film’s opening sequence seems about to ask, before reality kicks in and the subject is dropped entirely. In fact, once the opening sequence finishes, the film relocates exclusively to a disappointingly Canadian looking Detroit. This is not the grimy, horrible, depressing steel and concrete hellscape of the 1987 original, but a Detroit in which you’d expect Michael Moore to show up, asking aboot your unlocked front door. One question that goes unanswered is why the interior of the police station is old and rundown during the opening scenes, and glimmeringly new when Robocop shows up. Presumably there’s a deleted scene laying around somewhere.

So post pre-credits sequence, the film treads much the same ground as the original ‘Robocop’, only it takes much, much longer to get anywhere, and is far, far less entertaining in doing so. For example, in the original film Alex Murphy dies, and a couple of minutes later Robocop is introduced, ready to go. In this film, Murphy dies and it’s at least 30 minutes before he’s out on the street fighting crime. In between there’s a whole lot of exposition, Alex coming to terms with his new existence, training etc. It slows the film down, and isn’t particularly interesting or entertaining, except for one part which I’ll get to in a minute.

The film is essentially satire free, instead replacing it with the occasional social commentary that it’s neither willing, nor interested in exploring. What little satire there is, is almost entirely centred around a right-wing current affairs show hosted by Pat Novak (Samuel L. Jackson). These frequent, and disruptive interruptions detract from the central story, and Jackson is horribly miscast. They mimic the original films segways to the news desk, which provided brief, blackly humorous news bites that were hilarious and served to establish the world outside of Detroit. The new films segways to the studio are mainly for exposition purposes, as the head of OmniCorp (Michael Keaton) tries to get amended the bill that prevents him from selling his robots for law enforcement in America. Apparently sensing the failure of these scenes, the filmmakers resort to begging for laughs by having Jackson lose it and call someone a motherfucker. Unfortunately this is a PG-13 film, so the motherfucker is bleeped. It’s all a bit pathetic.

One of the fundamental mistakes of the remake is to make Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) the dominant personality of Robocop. In the original, Alex Murphy dies, and is reborn as Robocop. Peter Weller plays them as two separate characters, which is an important distinction because a big part of the film is Murphy’s personality breaking through. Here, the character is only Robocop when the visor drops (apart from plot shenanigans), and he’s otherwise Alex Murphy, who remembers and reunites with his wife (Abbie Cornish) and kid (generic Hollywood tyke).

The one truly horrifying and effective section of the film is when Dr. Dennett Norton (Gary Oldman) reveals to Murphy the true nature of his physical being. It’s a nightmarish visual kick in the guts that goes unmatched by anything else in the film. It does generate a lot of sympathy for Murphy, and it’s well performed by Kinnaman, who is otherwise satisfactory, if a little dull in the role. 2014’s Robocop is a far less tragic figure than 1987’s. The original Murphy lost everything. Wife, kid, PERSONALITY. The only meaning he had to exist was through his gradual realisation of his situation and his lust for revenge. In the remake he’s pretty much the same guy as before, except he is now a robot.

A couple of the action scenes are decent enough, although they’re over far too quickly. They also suffer from the fact that half of them are simulated training exercises, so there’s a bit of a “who cares?” factor to them. But they look pretty good. Gary Oldman seems to be actually trying to put in a good performance, which is commendable, but why cast Michael Keaton in the villain role if you’re not going to let him have any fun with it?

The original film was filled with so many hilariously evil scumbags, entertainingly played by Ronny Cox, Kurtwood Smith and Miguel Ferrer (to name just three of them), that it seems like an intentional decision on the part of the writer (Joshua Zetumer) and director (José Padilha) to try to play down the eccentricity. Presumably this is partly due to the constraints of the PG-13 rating, but Keaton and Jackie Earle Haley seem fairly bored by their roles. There’s no playfulness, no wit. The dialogue reflects the film as a whole. Direct, perfunctory and (dare I say it) robotic. It’s a lifeless film punctuated by the occasional, brief, efficiently realised action scene and one well-delivered visual. There’s certainly nothing to match the originals hilarious satire, like when the corporate villain played by Ronny Cox explains that the benefits of the ED-209 are the “Renovation program, spare parts for 25 years! Who cares if it worked or not!?” or Robocop visiting kids at the Lee Iacocca Elementary School.

What doesn’t help the remake is the deliberate nods to the original film. Here, the title card appears accompanied by the original films memorable theme. Later in the film, Jackie Earle Haley’s character says he “wouldn’t buy that for a dollar”, which is a totally random comment because there’s no context for it in the world of Robocop 2014. Most damningly, the design of the ED-209’s are exactly the same. If your intention is to limit the danger of direct, unfavourable comparison why would you lazily regurgitate major elements from the film you’re trying to avoid? These kinds of references only serve to remind us that we are watching an inferior version. The recent (even worse) remake of Total Recall was also littered with them. It’s not cute. It’s not clever. It just makes it more impossible to forget the original and accept the new version on its own merits.

There’s the argument that remakes are always judged against the originals, and that they shouldn’t be. Just forget about the original. Rate the new one independently. Sometimes this is a just argument. Here, the filmmakers don’t allow you to do that because they shove direct references to the original film in your face, therefore you just sit there thinking about all the ways the remake doesn’t quite stack up.

Ultimately, yes the film is unnecessary. It’s unnecessary because it drops the satire (which was probably a wise decision), but fails to replace it with anything interesting. It backs off from potential subjects, such as drone warfare, immediately after raising them. But beyond all else, it’s simply not entertaining enough. And that’s the biggest crime a Robocop film can commit.

I bought this for a dollar, now I want 75 cents back.

Cheers,

Droid