The Ashes 2013: The Oval

The Poms really are crap at celebrating. (The pic is actually from the first test,  but still, the point remains.)

Okay, so the series is decided. After getting off to a great start chasing 300, the Aussies collapsed and since we don’t have Pattinson and Starc or Agar wasn’t selected we didn’t have any tailenders to try to bail us out. Fair play to the Poms who have got over the line in the two tests Australia stood a chance in. They were lucky to get away with it at Old Trafford.

So the series is decided, but there’s still some interest to be had. Aussies are playing for a bit of pride, and a lot of overcoming a psychological handicap of not knowing how to win. They’ve dropped Khawaja, moved Watson up to 3 and brought in Faulkner as the all-rounder. This has done absolutely nothing to fix our horribly fragile batting order. However, Starc is back in the side, at the expense of the ineffective Jackson Bird.

For the Poms, Simon Kerrigan and Chris Woakes are making their debuts. On this I have no comment, because I have no idea who they are. Woakes has come in for Bairstow and Kerrigan (who is a spinner apparently) is replacing the injured Tim Bresnan.


England: 1 Alastair Cook (capt), 2 Joe Root, 3 Jonathan Trott, 4 Kevin Pietersen, 5 Ian Bell, 6 Matt Prior (wk), 7 Chris Woakes, 8 Stuart Broad, 9 Graeme Swann, 10 James Anderson, 11 Simon Kerrigan

Australia: 1 Chris Rogers, 2 David Warner, 3 Shane Watson, 4 Michael Clarke (capt), 5 Steven Smith, 6 Brad Haddin (wk), 7 James Faulkner, 8 Peter Siddle, 9 Mitchell Starc, 10 Ryan Harris, 11 Nathan Lyon


Michael Clarke won the toss. Australia will bat first.

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About Judge Droid

In between refining my procrastination skills I talk a lot of shit about movies and such.

176 responses to “The Ashes 2013: The Oval”

  1. Judge Droid says :

    First one gone. Warner, who was batting like a cunt, played a shot like a cunt and got out like a cunt. 1-11.

  2. Judge Droid says :

    1-112 at lunch. Good session for the Aussies thanks to Watto. And Woakes. And Kerrigan.

  3. Judge Droid says :

    Well batted Watto. Now go on with it. No one else seems to be able to bat today.

  4. Judge Droid says :

    3-183 at tea. Poms session that. Cook dropped a sitter from Watto. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving cunt.

  5. Jarv says :

    Our session just. Warner remains shite, Watto has saved his career. Bad drop from Cook (who has dropped almost all of the slip drops from England)

    Broad bowling brilliantly, with no luck. Rogers and Clarke were horrible, Warner is shite, Lot on the debutant here.

    No idea why we’ve picked Kerrigan. None. Insane selection.

    Woakes I can at least understand as a replacement for Bressie, given that he can bat a bit, but Kerrigan? Never heard of the cunt.

    • Judge Droid says :

      Warner was very, very good in the last test, second innings. Only got out to a freak ball from Bresnan that bounced off the pitch like a rubber ball.

      Didn’t think much of Broad from what I saw. Bowled one or two good balls but far from “brilliant”.

      Unless this Kerrigan cunt does an Agar, it’s a shithouse selection.

  6. Judge Droid says :

    150 up for Watson. Superb innings so far.

  7. Jarv says :

    Shithouse pitch this one.

    Australia all out for roughly 500ish. England collapse imminent.

  8. Jarv says :

    Hee hee.

    LBW review by Watson, and unbelievably, he actually wasn’t out this time.

  9. Judge Droid says :

    4-307. Aussies day.

  10. Xiphos0311 says :

    This thing ever end?

  11. Xiphos0311 says :

    what’s the deal with the dude in the middle of that picture are his arms broke or is he recreating that chick from the Seinfeld episode? And what’s up with the due to his right? the one looking like he’s trying out to be the keep on trucking guy or a Southern black school Drum Major?

  12. Judge Droid says :

    Sids out. Bowled by Anderson. 5-324.

  13. Judge Droid says :

    6-397 at tea. WHO? is on 112.

  14. Xiphos0311 says :

    I declare that this all sounds very confusing and I also declare that this thing needs to end it goes on longer then the BASEketball playoffs

  15. Judge Droid says :

    Could use a wicket or 10 here.

  16. Judge Droid says :

    Question… Why does the ball need to pitch in line with the stumps for it to be given out on hawkeye? If it’s going on to hit the stumps, shouldn’t it be given out? I’ve always wondered about that.

  17. Judge Droid says :

    Pietersen out. Lazy shot. 4-217.

  18. Judge Droid says :

    Woakes out. 5-269.

  19. Judge Droid says :

    Right, just got home and there’s a game here. Poms are having a stab at chasing down another 141. 23 overs to go. Cook just out.

  20. Judge Droid says :

    Anyway, congrats to the Poms for winning the series. Some close tests (bar one). Hopefully Harris isn’t seriously injured again.

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