WORLD WAR Z: Mr. Jolie and his fabulous Redfordesque hair saves the world

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So everybody knows about all the trouble that plagued this production right? I don’t feel the need to recap it so I’m going to skip all that noise and just jump right in. is WWZ any good? Well dear readers it’s like this…

…Its okay. WWZ is not the train wreck it should have been but it’s also not all that good. WWZ is about kilometer wide and about a half a millimeter deep. WWZ relies on the watcher being able to take their suspension of disbelief, cover it in concrete, put it on a rocket and send not just into the next galaxy but, through the use of quantum mechanics, into the adjacent reality next to ours.

ENOS

“Hot? Not? I can’t figure this shit out”

Before I get into the story I am contractually obligated to mention that this movie has almost 0.0 percent in common with Max Brook’s fun book, WWZ. The only common factor is the title, the UN angle (an aside for the esteemed Colonel Tigh Fighter: I know you’re a lover of the the idea of the UN so you might want to skip reading this. I will be taking a long continuous wet dump on those scum bags throughout this post) and maybe two nods in it to the book.

WWZ starts out like most zombie movies with a peaceful morning of domestic bliss in what I guess is a suburb of north Philadelphia. Angelina Jolie’s bottom bitch Bradley (hereafter referred to as Mr. Jolie because I don’t want to be seen as rude and whose production company made this thin gruel) playing Jerry Lane and the fugly hot chick from US version of The Killing (Mireille Enos) who plays Mrs. Jerry (I can’t remember her name) are awakened by their precocious daughters. They have breakfast and Mr. Jolie is shown to be a good dad by cooking pancakes which I am sure his pimp Angelina makes him do at home. Meanwhile in the background, TV news makes reference to a worldwide outbreak of rabies and marshal law in between celebrity gossip. This is how the table is set for what’s to come.

The lovey dovey family is then off to downtown Philly for some reason I didn’t catch and are caught in a massive traffic jam caused by the fact that there are zombies running around and nobody thought to say “Hey news outlets, say something about not heading into downtown Philly because THERE ARE FUCKING ZOMBIES RUNNING AROUND YOU DICK HEADS.” They attack people, they get turned and in the chaos Mr. Jolie has the presence of mind to run with his head turned and count the seconds it takes for a bitten man to turn. Why is Jerry so cool under pressure you might conceivably ask at this juncture and being the nice chap I am I’ll tell you. You see Jerry use to be an “investigator” for the UN. So anyway what happens next is… wait What? Oh you’re asking for more info about Jerry’s past so you can know about why he’s so important? Sorry readers, I can’t give you any because I don’t know any. To call Jerry a thin wafer of a character is a deep insult to wafers everywhere. We get like two lines that say Jerry ‘investigated” outbreaks and war crimes for the UN and he’s cool under pressure and that’s it. What they should have said was that Jerry “investigated” how to cover up war crimes and profiteering committed BY the useless humps of the UN.

Mr. Jolie manages to get the fugly and the kids out of downtown Philly in what was a fairly well made set piece, by commandeering a RV that just happens to have a scoped Remington 700 rifle in it. LUCKY break there, it comes in handy later for defense and breaking open doors. This movie survives on coincidences, lucky breaks and being in the right place at the right time.

As they move out of downtown Jerry gets a call from his old boss at the UN (who, we learn much later when it’s convenient to move the story along, is the deputy under secretary of the Incompetent Thieves Guild, er, I mean the UN) that he needs him on this like pronto but Jerry being a consummate dumb ass declines. After seeing shit get real though, Jerry wises up and says hey maybe I’ll take that ride boss.

RUN_BRAD-Run

“Shit Angie is PISSED!”

Now we get globe hopping Jerry because he and his faboo hair are the only ones that can figure shit out. First he lands is South Korea, this part is probably the best sequence in the movie, more on that down below. Then Israel, then in Jarv’s most favorite place on Earth, Wales. This last part is all the newly shot material, you know this because of the jarring change in the scope of the film. It spirals down from WORLD view to an insular personal tale inside the walls of the W.H.O labs. Of course Mr. Jolie figures out how to break the zombies in a rather clever way, humanity is sort of saved and the movie ends with a soft family thud and a cringe worthy voice over by Mr. Jolie. The end.

Here’s what was good about WWZ

The acting is fairly decent. Bradley imbues his wafer thin character with grace, humility and a righteous sense of duty and purpose. There are some great cameos like James Badge Dale as the RANGER Platoon Commander and David Morse as a locked up renegade CIA agent. The acting was good throughout the movie even though most of them zip by in what amounts to extended cameos. Only Bradley, his hair, hot fugly and the kids plus the chick Israeli Army officer named Segen are getting much screen time.

The downtown Philly set piece was decent, a lot of bloodless CGI carnage that was well shot except for too much shaky cam. The best part of this section was probably the sequence at the market. It showed how society was breaking down but still there were glimpses of humanity in it like when the armed junkie in the pharmacy gave Jerry the asthma meds for his daughter because Junkie’s daughter has asthma.

For my money the best set piece of the movie took place in Korea. After Bradley and his wonderful hair were blackmailed into going back to work, the Captain of the ship they were on bluntly told him do this or you and your family will get dumped back on dry land, Brad agrees to go with a young dopey Harvard epidemiologist to Korea in order follow up on a memo that used the word zombie. I liked that they used that term in the movie most times these flicks never do. Jerry’s idea on how to fight the Zekes (they use this term from the book) was a creative one and whoever thought of it did a good job.

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“RANGERS LEAD THE WAY!”

Why the Korea section was the best part of WWZ in bullet point format:

  • Showed seals to be useless. Like usual, they got their asses kicked hard and fast. RANGERS had to save their dumb asses AGAIN.
  • The tension was high, the stakes big and important info was learned and connections started to be made there
  • Both the saving of Jerry and his intrepid band of idiots and the plane refueling sequence were tight, taut and surprisingly well thought out and staged. Plus it was plausible which is unusual for a Hollywood movie
  • The RANGERS were funny, knew they were fucked but they were going down fighting
  • David Morse’s bent CIA character. Funny, interesting, smart and chilling with of course just the right piece of intel to move Jerry onto Israel
  • Setting it all at night and in the dark made it more exciting

What wasn’t so good in WWZ:

The relentless pace and having zero knowledge about any of the characters made you not care much.

CGI zombie hordes es no bueno. How do the undead, that don’t breath because they’re dead, make vocal noises that sound like Velociraptors from Jurassic Park? Still on the zombies, how does the infection make a body hard to kill,  have great leaping ability and able to move faster than they did when alive?

The Israel section. Here I am going into spoiler territory. So if you don’t want to be spoiled stop reading.

So the Israelis get a jump on everybody because they pick up on chatter coming out of India. They have maybe, and I stress maybe, a 2 week jump on the rest of the world due to the fact they now hold close to their hearts what they learned from the holocaust, don’t take your safety for granted. Up to this point I’m down with this section until I start looking at what they did. Somehow in like 2 weeks (which is only a guess on part since time in this movie is as elastic as it needs to be for the story to move along) they built massive walls without anybody knowing? Also Jews are pretty smart people, it’s a fact not a stereotype and if this is offensive to you feel free to fuck yourself, but somehow they didn’t figure out that noise attracts Zekes. Because of that ever so slight flaw in their wonderful security, they let a checkpoint microphone get used for a song that everybody takes up singing which in turn drives the Zekes into a frenzy and they overrun Tel Aviv. You know why the writers did that? Here I’ll tell you why. It’s because of the one world kumbaya/we love the UN horse shit that stinks up this movie like a corpse rotting in the sun. The writers couldn’t help themselves, they had to show Jews and Arabs getting along and singing a song. I think, from the 4 words of Hebrew I know, it’s about peace and working together or something.

Also writers, why did you feel the need to name the chick Israeli officer Segen? I looked it up because I thought it was pretty and maybe was something from the Torah but nooooooo, it means Platoon Leader in Hebrew. You know writers, reasonable human beings give their name not their title. Go fuck yourselves twats.

Speaking of the UN fuck holes (COL Tigh fighter you definitely want to skip this), FYI dumb fuck writers, I know you hate America even though it gave your no talents asses easy women’s work inside counting your money plus access to hookers and dumb hot wannabes that are way out of your fat ass league but you fucking dummies, the UN DOES NOT HAVE its own navy or armies. Well no scratch that, for some dumbass reason AMERICA helps out a fucking continuing criminal enterprise like the UN, that hates America, with its Navy, Air Force and ground forces and most importantly its money. If we didn’t have retarded ass fucks from NYC, LA, Seattle that love this horse shit UN nonsense continually buying elections so we get easily owned numb nuts elected to the House, Senate and Presidency, then the UN would have withered on the vine years ago. Fucking scum bag UN needs to go away.

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“Nope still not Philly”

Using Glasgow as a stand in for Philadelphia. First off, Glasgow is to wide open and too clean to be a Philly substitute. Philly is a densely packed crap hole where even the air oozes with a sickly oil. Secondly, they could have saved a ton of money by actually filming in Philly or any major city on the east Coast or even Hell A. You would save a ton of money because you wouldn’t have had to put makeup on the extras or dress them. Nor would you have had to ship over cars and signage and what not to make Glasgow look like Philly. Thirdly, the Philly attack sequence is what people that live in those hell holes call any day that ends in a Y.

The entire third act which was the re-shot part. It was technically proficient but the jarring change from a big widespread all-encompassing view to an intimate personal story that really became a haunted house type deal hurt the movie in my opinion. That awful plane sequence was just dumb.

SPOILER ALERT

SPOLERS AHOY

3

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2

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1

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How did the Zeke get on the plane? How did it know to get on the dumb waiter? How did it stay quiet and not attack the door like every other Zeke in the movie did with people behind doors? Why is it that if you close the curtain between first class and the plebeian section it almost completely cuts of sound? How come Jerry and Segen are the only ones to survive the crash? How come it crashed within walking distance of the WHO so two badly hurt people can amble over to it? Jerry’s amazing Wolverine healing factor. He gets like a foot long piece of aluminum through his side, conveniently missing everything and like 3 days later he’s right as rain? STUPID

SPOILERS OVER

There were some other things but I’m going to let it go. So to wrap this overly long incoherent mess up, I would say that WWZ is okayish entertainment that runs about 10 minutes too long. If you feel like going to movie, it’s not the worse choice out there I suppose. It’s so middle of the road that it doesn’t amount to much which is sad because there was a good movie trying hard to get out of the mediocrity that was put on the screen.

Xiphos

Sniper

“Now shit will get sorted out”

 

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129 responses to “WORLD WAR Z: Mr. Jolie and his fabulous Redfordesque hair saves the world”

  1. Judge Droid says :

    Not. She is decidedly unattractive.

    There’s a lot of annoyances and things that don’t add up in this film. Shit like the 10th man. I haven’t finished the book, but I’ve read that part and it doesn’t make sense in the films (presumed) time frame. I say presumed because it doesn’t give a clear idea of how much time (if any) the “signs” or “rumours” had been going on for. It seems like everyone just woke up one day and the world was overrun with zombies. So to graft on to your “how to build a 50 foot wall around a city in just 2 weeks” bit, the 10th man had to investigate, find evidence, convince the other 9 and only then can they start building the wall. So two weeks is probably more like 1 week.

    The last section was fairly well done, but it was entirely out of place. If it was the middle section of the film it might have worked, but the issue is that the movie just runs flat out from the beginning, hurtles around the world at ludicrous speed then just completely stops for the last 30 minutes. It also annoyed me to see the great Peter Capaldi as the guy who exclaims obvious shit. “He walked right past them!” No shit, Pete. I have eyes.

    I liked Morse’s cameo. Particularly his story about North Korea’s cure. Like a bunch of the cameo’s, I wished he had more screen time.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      I can’t figure Enos out she’s like the two face from Seinfeld. When she’s all done up she looks good but damn she can also look mighty dowdy.

      Yeah time in this book makes no sense at all. another one was how they managed to fly from the deck of an assault ship to Korea in a turbo prob in like 2 hours where in reality it would have taken like 20 and how did they refuel? That was some real Jack Bauer like magical time management right there.

      Agree about the last section.

      Morse’s cameo and Badge Dale’s were by far the best. Did you realize that Dr. Jack from lost also had a cameo? i didn’t i found that reading IMBD. Supposedly his character was to be set up for a future movie. he played one of the PJs that pulled Mr. Jolie fugly and the kids off of the roof in Newark.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Yeah I saw him, but he disappeared so quickly that I forgot he was even in it.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I ddin’t even see it.

      • Judge Droid says :

        It’s literally blink and you miss. He approaches the family on the ship and says “Come with me.” or something. And that’s it. The whole family angle really didn’t work. Because they’d written it to be a big part of the sequel I think.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I totally missed it to be fair though it could have been one of the times I was sneaking a peek at the legs of the woman sitting a couple of seats over from me.

        The family angle didn’t add much for me. I almost thought they existed just for the end scene and the part in Korea that caused some issues.

      • Judge Droid says :

        That part in Korea annoyed me. Would you not just put it on silent? That bit of writing is just so dumb and easy. However, I did like Badge-Dale’s reaction to it. No panic, just a “let’s go to work” kind of attitude.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Yeah that was dumb and annoying since Jerry was supposed to be great in bad situations and presented as a guy who is always on top of everything. It was just lazy to have that happen.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        The other one that annoyed me intensely that i kept trying to figure out was how did the Mexican kid get out of his apartment and onto the stairs to the roof?

      • Judge Droid says :

        Maybe he was terminal? That’s the only explanation I can think of.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        maybe, once again eye roll. the more I think/talk about this movie the dumber it gets and becomes less coherent and the less I am starting to like it. its gone from meh to sort of bad in my mind.

      • Judge Droid says :

        heh This is true. There are far too many loose ends.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I’m thinking there were too many writers with too many conflicting ideas working on this thing. You know another thing how exactly did they figure what Brad used at the WHO was what did it? reasonably you could say it might have been the Pepsi he drank(nice product placement there guys) that let him get by. For every scene they think is “cool” it turns out to be dumb because its been altered too many times in rewrites and reshoots.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Well, he gets by the one scientist zombie before he drinks the product placement. But yes, overall it’s a mishmash of conflicting ideas that aren’t cohesively expressed (or even thought out).

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yeah i know i’ve sitting on the Pepsi joke and wanted to use it. I couldn’t figure out how to get it into the review.

      • Judge Droid says :

        It would have been pretty funny if it was Pepsi. Like Mars Attacks! using Slim Whitman to kill martians.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        see its creativity like that WWZ lacks. financially they could have hit Pepsi for money if they made their product the thing that saves the world. Plus the would recoup another bit of the bloated budget.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        how do dead bodies that don’t breath smell a terminal condition? They just know or is that’s another side effect of the virus that manages to make the host not decay after death and gives the zekes magical jumping/survival powers?

      • Judge Droid says :

        The virus grants a zombie the power to do anything the screenwriter wishes.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        that’s the greatest power of all for the writer, the audience, not so much.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Pitt bought the rights to the book in 2007. They’d had 4 years to write the screenplay before the film went into production. How the hell did they start shooting without a finalised script that is so full of holes?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        maybe in Bradly’s mind he see’s himself as Jerry and he don’t need not finished script? He’ll just investigate while doing it?

  2. Judge Droid says :

    Just one example of this films production fuckuppery.

    Filming in Budapest commenced on the evening of October 10, 2011.That morning, the Hungarian Counter Terrorism Centre raided the warehouse where guns had been delivered for use as filming props. The 85 assault rifles, sniper rifles, and handguns had been flown into Budapest overnight on a private aircraft, but the film’s producers had failed to clear the delivery with Hungarian authorities, and while the import documentation indicated that the weapons had been disabled, all were found to be fully functional. On February 10, 2012, the charges were dropped after investigators were unable to identify exactly which “organization or person” had “ownership rights”; therefore they could not “establish which party was criminally liable”.

  3. Judge Droid says :

    I think the explanation for why only Pitt and the Israeli chick survived the plane crash was that everyone else bar the pilots were zombified and/or sucked out. Except that one zombie who was still strapped in to her chair. Most of the passengers were out of their seats when Pitt threw the grenade. It was a miraculously callous act of self-preservation.

  4. Judge Droid says :

    One more thing. The movie needed to be R. There are so many moments that feel shortchanged because it’s PG-13. Simple things like the zombie hanging off the helicopter during their rescue from Philly. The soldier has his gun pointed at its head, but uses his foot (risking getting bitten) to kick it off. Just shooting it in the head made more sense (to me) and it also would have been much more satisfying. Other things as well, like Badge Dale’s exit and chopping the hand off. It doesn’t need to be a gorefest, but it just needed the freedom to sell those moments with a bit more graphic horror.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      I liked how Badge Dale went down I thought it was fitting at first, then I realized that everybody else bitten lost it immediately but he could but together a heroic exit line and then take care of business.

      • Judge Droid says :

        That’s true, I didn’t think of that. There was also some misinformation about how long they took to change. At one point one of them says 10 minutes I think. But in Philly Pitt counts to 10. Not sure why it’s so different in America. The yanks constant need for instant gratification? hehe

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        naw we just got a better version of the virus then everybody else.

      • Judge Droid says :

        For a movie that kind of strives for a “realistic” approach (even though it’s far from realistic) I thought they may have explained the spread of the virus a better. How do you become infected? It’s a bite, but what’s the science behind it? I don’t need the film to stop and lecture me, but if it wants me to buy into it then I’d kind of like some sort of effort to explain the process. Is it the saliva? It’s not blood, because Pitt gets zombie blood in his mouth.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I think the frantic break neck speed was used so they didn’t have to explain anything and to keep people from noticing and asking about everything we are. hell I would have liked to know a bit more about Jerry and his background instead of the dozen or words thrown at it.

      • Judge Droid says :

        I think the character should have been just some desk jockey research dude. Dump the family man crap and the UN investigator rubbish. Make him some guy who has a brilliant mind for investigatory research but no practical skills. And throw him in the deep end. They got to excuse away a lot of Gerry’s calm and assurity because he used to be some sort of super investigator.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I like that idea but Brads production company and the studio, or maybe just the studio, would shit a brick at the thought of Bradly not being the super hero of the story.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yeah bites transfer blood one way from the bitee to the biter so it has to be saliva based like I think rabies is.

  5. Judge Droid says :

    We have just picked apart a lot of this movie in about an hour. Don’t they employ people to read screenplays and ask these types of questions?

    Yet another eye roller was the scene in Israel. So the singing was getting the zombies all riled up. So much so that there were thousands of them clamouring up the walls. Yet there wasn’t a single Israeli keeping watch? No fucker saw anything until Pitt looked up and saw them climbing over.

    This movie is starting to suck in my mind. I thought it was okay in the moment, but it just fails as soon as you start to think about it.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      yeah i was going to make that point about Pitt seeing them come over the wall but forgot. they didn’t have anybody up there nor any cameras and nobody in the helos that noticed?

      I think they do have people for that but maybe what they read and what shows up on screen are different? Or maybe they are afraid that if they make a stink they could lose their job but don’t think that if the movie sucks they will get blamed? nobody in Hollywood likes to hear no.

      I agree it isn’t good.

      • Jarv says :

        I really like this book.

        Everything I’ve read about the film (and seen) makes me think ill hate it.

        Great review (not, by the way) for what I’m sure ill hate.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        well if you put the book out of mind while watching… its still sort of crappy. It was OK disposable utterly forgettable entertainment at the moment of watching but the more I thought about it and the more Droid and I talked about it the less i began to like WWZ.

      • Jarv says :

        Also-

        Glasgow is all narrow streets and built up.

        I like Glasgow, but on your description of Philly, it’d be not far off

      • Judge Droid says :

        The Philly in the film doesn’t look like the one I visited.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Philly doesn’t look like that at all.

  6. tombando says :

    Agreed w most of that. Wanted more of David Morse and thought the nod to the Iran/Paki nuke out worthy.

    Winneabagoes as Tanks–who knew?

  7. Continentalop says :

    So this movie doesn’t follow the book in showing the incompetence of the media or our elected officials? No Battle of Yonkers? No corrupt Chinese officials? No Redeker Plan?

    Fuck this movie then.

    Good review Xi. You reinforced my decision not to see it.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Nope none of that is in there at all. They bought the name then wrote their own story. About the closest things to the Redeker plan was what the Norks did.

  8. Jarv says :

    On the scenting thing- that’s actually from the book. No idea how it works, though.

  9. ThereWolf says :

    Top review, Xi.

    Not much interest in seeing this – probably rent it. I’d be more interested in reading the book though.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Hey Wolfie good to see you and thank you for the compliment.

      Yeah this is a rental no doubt. Being at home in PJs sitting on the couch eating some crisps or a pizza swilling some lager or some such then it it isn’t that bad of a deal.

      The book is very good very entertaining and Brooks takes on some big and small ideas. I recommended it highly put it on the bus reading list,

  10. Toadkillerdog says :

    Xi,
    I can not read the review until after i have seen the flick. But I am sure it is funny and profane.
    I plan to try and catch it this week if not next.
    As for walking dead. I watched two eps in first season and then turned it off.
    A friend persauded me to try it again late last season and i did and it was much better. I then found out that darabont had been kicked aside. coincidence?

    I reveresed my name and email addy Dang, and i have not even had a drink

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      you could read it if you want I clearly marked the spoilers and I tried to talk about the movie in general terms.

  11. Xiphos0311 says :

    Droid another thing I realized today watching a clip on a show talking about WWZ was that in the Philly section they already had military deployed. If they were caught so unaware how did they get The Army there that fast? There isn’t any large Army/Marine Corps bases in the Northeast. it would, at best, take several hours if not a day to mobilize enough Reserves/Guard to put them to use.

    So it seems to me they knew the Zekes were coming and let people into the kill zone willy nilly/

    • Judge Droid says :

      This is true. The movie never gives a clear idea of when/how long they knew. Also, I read this yesterday.

      The plan was for the movie to climax in a gigantic battle in Moscow – one trailer even has Pitt asking “If I could get into Russia, where would I start?” Gerry eventually becomes a hard-nosed zombie killer who discovers that the cold slows the zombie hordes down. When he gets the chance to call his wife, he discovers that she’s in a semi-consensual relationship with the parajumper who saved her at the beginning of the movie – thereby explaining Matthew Fox’s bafflingly small role in the movie. Lane then begins an epic trek back to the US to win her back.

      First of all, what the hell is a “semi-consensual relationship”? But man, the ginger bulldog face must be a real dong hound because Mr Jolie was only gone a few days. In the middle of an apocalyptic event, with your husband off trying to save the world, you decide to start boning some dude you just met? The most unbelievable aspect of that alternate ending is that Pitt would trek farther than the fridge to win that fugly cheater back.

      • Jarv says :

        First of all, what the hell is a “semi-consensual relationship”? But man, the ginger bulldog face must be a real dong hound because Mr Jolie was only gone a few days. In the middle of an apocalyptic event, with your husband off trying to save the world, you decide to start boning some dude you just met? The most unbelievable aspect of that alternate ending is that Pitt would trek farther than the fridge to win that fugly cheater back.

        Hee hee.

        Angry.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        doesn’t “semi-consensual” also mean partially forced? As in I can protect you and let you stay on this nice safe ship if you come across with the goods?

      • Judge Droid says :

        Yes, that was what I was thinking.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yeah because she couldn’t just go to the UN dude and tell him that Dr. Sheppard was trying to get in her pants 5 minutes after Bradly leaves.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Oh yeah that thing about the cold was in the book. I Think one of the segments to place in northern Canada in winter and it showed Zekes frozen to the ground. It also talked about caravans of cars trying to make it north and getting attacked by both bandits and Zekes.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s the end where the zombies have frozen in place and whatshername smashes their heads in.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        sounds right.

      • Jarv says :

        I need to reread this, because it’s getting a bit fuzzy in my mind.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        it’s entirely fuzzy in my mind I have not read it in years.

      • Judge Droid says :

        They’ve alluded to it in the early sections I’ve read. Something about “clean up crews” in northern Europe at the end of winter.

  12. tombando says :

    Yeah there is that great part in the biok in space where they are in a space station and watch the mega swarms of zombies lurching around Nebraska and Kazakhstan…including the rabbit warren digging. Never bought the whole undersea zombies thing—really vs the bends, currents, sharks and just staying afliat ir whatever? Made no sense.

  13. tombando says :

    As you can see i can spel an tipe.

  14. Judge Droid says :

    Jarv, did you see the Jekyll and Hyde Aussies against Somerset? Utter mediocrity (at best) for nearly the entire day. They let some hopeless kid (average of 17!!!, high score of 69!) score 130! Then they took something like 8 for 10.

    • Judge Droid says :

      And Watto’s confirmed as opener with Cowan for the first test.

      • Jarv says :

        And Watto’s confirmed as opener with Cowan for the first test.

        Dropped Warner?

        Crying shame. Was looking forward to him batting in England v Jimmy. All 3 balls of it.

      • Judge Droid says :

        If (big if) he plays in the Ashes then it will have to be somewhere in the middle order.

      • Judge Droid says :

        And I suspect Rogers will bat at 3, seeing as he appears reliable.

      • Jarv says :

        They’re fucking nuts if they don’t pick him. He’s about the only player they have that has anything resembling a decent record in the UK. (Clarke excepted, and to be fair, Watto isn’t awful).

      • Judge Droid says :

        Line up will be (I suspect):

        Watto
        Cowan
        Rogers
        Warner/Khawaja/Hughes (no idea really)
        Clarke
        Haddin
        Faulkner
        Harris/Siddle
        Pattinson
        Starc
        Lyon

      • Jarv says :

        I think I’d go:

        Watto
        Cowan
        Rogers
        Khawaja(best technique of the three. In that he actually has one)
        Clarke
        Haddin
        Faulkner
        Siddle
        Pattinson
        Starc
        Lyon

        I suspect it’ll be Hughes at 4 though.

      • Judge Droid says :

        The reason why Khawaja may not get a go is because he has no proven record of a big innings. No century. Both Hughes and Warner have that. Not saying they’re preferable to me, but I think that will count against Khawaja when it comes to selection.

      • Jarv says :

        Hughes’ record against England (particularly in England) is so lamentable that it shouldn’t even be a question. Warner has made fuck all in ages and has never faced the moving ball.

        Khawaja has proper technique- which you have to have in this country.

        Warner may be able to agriculturally hoick it on flat non-swinging wickets, but he’ll get fucked here.

      • Judge Droid says :

        I’d like to see Khawaja get a go. Just saying that he doesn’t have a record of big scores so that may count against him.

      • Jarv says :

        Wasn’t disagreeing with you. Steve Waugh had a horrible record and no big scores when he came to England in 1989. If they’re looking back at that as the starting point, then I’d take a punt on Khawja and disregard his lack of monster tons.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Temperament is a big difference between those two though. Waugh was bullheaded and determined to win, while Khawaja has been labelled as a bit soft and lazy.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Why did I start this convo in the WWZ comments?

      • Jarv says :

        P.J. Hughes:

        filtered v England (Matches) 5 (runs) 154 (High Score) 36 (Average) 17.11

      • Judge Droid says :

        Well, a hopeless kid around the same age with the exact same average scored 130 against Australia yesterday.

      • Jarv says :

        Hughes since recall:

        M 17 Runs 837 HS 126 Average 26.15

        Sorry, that’s shit. I’d string I.R. Bell up for being better than that.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Yep, it is shit. Can you take out India (where everyone failed)?

      • Jarv says :

        Christ he’s awful:

        Opponenet M Runs HS Ave
        v England 5 154 36 17.11
        v India 4 147 69 18.37
        v New Zealand 3 147 86* 29.40
        v Pakistan 1 37 37 18.50
        v South Africa 5 532 160 53.20
        v Sri Lanka 6 435 126 43.50

        The big outliers are SA and Sri Lanka- both of which were at the start of his career. Before England worked him out.

      • Jarv says :

        Sure:

        Career average (without india) 36.25
        Career average since recall (without india)28.75

        Not a huge difference, really.

      • Judge Droid says :

        What the hell has happened to Aussie batters? 10 years ago guys like Mr Cricket couldn’t get in the side. Now we have shit like this.

      • Jarv says :

        I have no idea. Something went tits up. I remember Lehmann not being able to get in the Aussie team. Jacques was fucked around for yonks- Stuart Law!

        It’s nuts that Hughes is persisted with.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Faulkner is also a question mark. He can bat a bit and bowl a bit. Could drop him and stick in both Harris and Sids. But you have the danger of a long tail.

    • Jarv says :

      It was even weirder- 6 wickets no runs.

      That’s a career high for that kid, because he’ll never get anywhere near the England side.

  15. kanevaubell says :

    Man Im yet to see this one! Greatly anticipating my viewing, hope it dosnt dissapoint! Glad you had the decency to give me a spoiler alert!! 🙂

  16. Toadkillerdog says :

    Xi, I sawr this flick and pacific rim this past weekend.
    Your review is spot on.I wold not change a word, I might add a few though!
    It started out great and seemed to be getting better, especially with the korea section and james dale and david morse doing a great job, but then it hgoes to Israel, and the wheels fell completely off. I still do not undertand how the israrelis on the strength of an intercepted email would then beleieve that zombies where real, and then be able to build such massive walls without anyone in the world or the region complaining, and then letting everyone in, and then not knowing that noise attracts the buggers, and on and on. it signaled the end, then getting ditched by his own pilot and bl;owing up the plane he was on, killing god only knows how many uninfected people just to save his own ass, and surviving without a spleen or kidney, and being able to kick some zombie bunny, yeah it deteriorated badly. It was not a train wreck, and it was entertaining, but boy did it feel anti climatic, that ending pretty much sucked

    • Judge Droid says :

      The israeli’s decision to build the wall is gleaned from the book. The “10th man”, which is referenced in the film. But the time frame of the book is far longer, so building the wall doesn’t take two weeks or whatever the ridiculous time frame is in the film.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        But what was the trigger to build the wall? Why did they do it in the first place? Even in the movie brad says the shin bet guy something like ‘ so you are a shin bet guy and you intercept a email about zombies and that triggers you building a wall?’
        and we get some ridiculous reference to the 1973 war or something

      • Judge Droid says :

        The 10th man investigates. The email prompted to investigation.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Ok, I just looked up the 10th man reference, i have a better understanding of what the 10th man is for, but it still requires an even more massive suspension of disbelief that such an undertaking could take place without the world knowing about it and asking why? then gain, we are talking about a zombie flick, so i guess some leeway is required, but in the movie it still dragged the flick down and never really recovered

      • Judge Droid says :

        It’s really just indicative of the problems with the film. It’s so breathlessly scattershot that it doesn’t stop to explain anything. Until the reshot last section when it stops completely.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        ya, there was a decent story and acting in there. The first two sections were great (philly and korea) but then wheels came off.
        it was not a bad movie and it was better than IM3 – damning with faint praise, but still it could have been much better

      • Judge Droid says :

        The other problem I had is that it kept setting up potentially interesting characters and then either killing them immediately or abandoning them. And instead we get Gerry Lane who’s the least interesting character in the film.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Ya, james dale and david morse were good, but i really did not see any other chracters worth anything.

      • Judge Droid says :

        Those two, and I thought the young scientist had potential. The way they got rid of him was ridiculous. Just reminded me of the gag with White Boy Bob at the end of Out of Sight.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Ha, yes good call on Out of Sight. I thought i had seen that before, but i was thinking some tarrantino flick.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        The Israel section was not handled well at all and the new section was just dire.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      I can’t disagree with anything you wrote TKD.

  17. coltighfighter says :

    Ha! Poor old UN…

    I cant of cant argue with the plots holes in this. Im just thankful it wasnt a stinking pile of shite. I actually liked the slow pace of the 3rd act. Doctor W.H.O for the Win! 🙂

    But god did it miss the blood!!! I’m not a gore hound, but damn, you need some claret when doing a zombie flick. It stood out like a sore thumb, and robbed the film of much of its power.

    It was almost, the full-fat world massacre I’ve always dreamed of…..

    Ah well. mebbe next time

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      The bothersome thing about this movie was that it didn’t outright suck and pretty much everybody has said hey this didn’t shit the bed as much as I thought it would. Talk about your damnings and faint praises. There was a good movie trying to get out of the mess that was WW Wonderful hair.

      I have no problem with how the WHO part was filmed it was well done the problem was it needed to be the second act or they needed to not make it so small the toning down from the rest of the move was quite noticeable.

  18. tombando says :

    Yeah I thought it was pretty good too…zombie docs and nurses. Who knew? The Korean section was the best. I knew it’d skip the better 97% of the book, (Chinese sub/blind dude in Japan/Space station/Johnny Sokko etc) but it was better than it could have been.

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