XIPHOS TAKES A LOOK AT THE TELEVISION
Here’s a look at some shows I’ve been watching in a mini-review format. Some are on going, some have wrapped up for the season and few have just started their run. As always spoiler warning is in effect but then again if you read reviews online and expect them to be spoiler free your parents and grandparents, nay, your whole line are sibling fuckers.
Shows that have ended for the season
Justified (FX Network): This season was different than the previous ones in that there wasn’t a “big bad guy.” Instead it involved solving a season long mystery about a dead parachutist holding several keys of coke that went splat on a residential street in 1983. They only clue about who he might be was a license that said Waldo Truth and pouch that was found in Deputy US Marshal Raylan Givens incarcerated father’s house that led to the name Drew Thompson. The entire season was about finding out who Drew Thompson was and to figure out why the Detroit Mob, the Dixie Mafia, crooked Feds and Boyd Crowder all wanted him dead. It was another tremendously entertaining season and it’s just pure joy to listen to the fantastic writing spill out of Raylan’s and Boyd Crowder’s mouths. This is also the season that Deputy US Marshal Tim (RANGERS LEAD THE WAY!) Gutterson comes into his own as a character in spectacular fashion. As always great work put in by guest stars and supporting cast members. Kudos to Mike O’Malley, Jim Beaver and Ron Eldard who were exceptional in their parts.
Spartacus War of the Damned (STARZ Network): I haven’t finished this season yet since I was waiting for the finale to air so I can watch the last six episodes in one long binge viewing session. I will be reviewing that series separately and I only bring it up because this show, Rome and The Tudors have helped launch networks historical revisionist band wagon jumping and I needed to reference it for a review below. Quick point though, the show isn’t about anything more than Gannicus because he’s super duper awesome.
The Walking Dead (AMC): Christ on a Popsicle stick this show is frustrating. They manage to make a few outstanding episodes like the one with Lennie James or Meryl’s sacrifice and Darly’s burden over it but then they completely fuck over the viewers with that horrible season finale. That was the one that they teased all season long about the Governor attacking the prison which DIDN’T HAPPEN hardly at all. Then seeing how much they screwed up characters like The Governor, Michonne and Andrea and under used and changed Cutty Wise…er I mean…Tyrese from the comic strips is hard to watch.
House of Lies (Showtime): This is a series based on a book called House of Lies: How Management Consultants Steal Your Watch and Then Tell You the Time (I’m about 20 pages into it) by former Booz Allen Hamilton consultant Martin Kihn. The show is sort of okay I guess. It has a foul mouthed oversexed Veronica Mars as as one of the leads and she gets down to her unmentionables a lot. HoL has a decent amount of nudity but I don’t think the show is exceptional. Mostly I watch it because it reinforces my belief that consultants are as big of scumbags as Californians, lawyers, politicians, Hollywood and the media. Also yeah it has tits and lots of them. Don Cheadle is quite watchable as Marty Kaan and his asides during business deals about how they are just here to fuck the client out of money has a ring of truth to it. However after that the show lacks any real basis for credibility. Did I mention the copious amount of juggage? Yes well that is its selling point.
Californication (Showtime): This show has been been trending downwards the last few season but I still stick with it due mainly to brilliant beautiful writing occasionally and a fantastic turn by Agent Mulder as Hank Moody. Mostly I stick with it because it shits on Hollywood, LA and California which makes me happy since I think we should nuke that place from orbit just to be sure. I am happy to say though that my patience with the series was rewarded this season because it turned out to be quite funny and very entertaining.
On Going Shows
Game of Thrones (HBO): Ha got ya! No I’m not watching Game of Yawns. That show sucks. I do however have Kloipy monitoring it for any signs of the Scottish chick,that can’t pronounce Jon Snow correctly dropping trou or the off chance of a midget riding a dragon. I’ll watch GoY for those two reasons. Since the Dink is the only good thing about that vomitus dumpster fire my hope is all his best parts will be on a youtube vid to watch that way I don’t have to sit through that nerd slobbered junk pile to get at it.
Supernatural (CW “Network”): Way to bounce back. Since about episode 8 of this season they have rounded back into form. Crowley is looking for the way to destroy heaven and messing with loony prophet Kevin Tran who’s gone off the rails because of it. We’ve got that lummox Sam getting pounded into dust trying to solve the three challenges of god to seal off hell forever. The whole Men of Letters legacy for Sam and Dean percolating under the surface and above it for that matter. And lastly with the inclusion of Naomi, heaven’s trouble shooter who may or may not be helping and Dean embracing his battle lust, SN has found its way again. At least in my opinion it has. Your mileage may vary.
The Americans/The Following (FX and Fox): These two shows have the same problem for me both are competently to well made, star people I usually enjoy like Marc Anthony from Rome and that succulent toothsome little biscuit Keri Russell, yet I found myself not involved in any way. I made it to about episode 6 of The Americans, a show about deep cover KGB agents working in the northern Virginia/DC are in the early 80’s. I made it to episode 9 of The Following, a story about an incarcerated serial killer that has disciples doing his nefarious bidding. I’ll probably swing back around to these shows this summer when there is nothing else on.
Shows I am reviewing that just started and have only aired like 1 or 2 episodes because that’s how I roll
Mad Men (AMC): I watched the 2 hour season premiere on 13 April and I have to say I was disappointed in it. Mad Men might be at or very near to the top of shows I like right now but the way they built the premiere with its disjointed time structure and uninteresting stories has me concerned. I hope this was a misfire and not a sign of things to come. Roger Sterling is still aces though. God I love that guy.
Hannibal (NBC): This is the Hannibal Lecter show that takes place before the book Red Dragon when Will Graham first met Lecter. Two eps in and the chemistry between Lecter and Graham is good. The killers they’ve chased so far have been creepy and well thought out and do their evil business in creative ways. What’s not so good is Cowboy Carl aka Larry Fishburne aka Morpheus as Graham’s boss Jack Crawford. Cowboy Carl sucks in the role as he alternates between mother hen and bellicose jack wagon. Still it has shown me enough to keep watching but I suspect this has a limited shelf life. One thing I wished they did on Hannibal that they chose not to was set the show in the 70’s to follow along with the books timeline. It would have made the stories more compelling in my opinion. Now they have easy cheats because they set it in modern times with modern tech to carry the load. Also the show needs to teach that fancy boy English lad playing Graham not to whack the trigger when he’s shooting his pistol. It’s very distracting and even the Feebs at the FBI aren’t that lame in real life. Close but they’re not there yet
DaVinci’s Demons (STARZ Network): This show is the bastard child of a three way between Rome, The Tudors and Spartacus (See what I did there with the callback? Damn I’m good!) and based entirely on the pilot I watched on 12 April, this could work but there is a caveat. To really get the full Monty from the show you need to have a good understanding of who DaVinci was and what he was about. A keen understanding of the Italian Renaissance. A deep understanding of the Italian Political climate in the 15th century and how the Popes in Rome and the Medicis in Florence operated and their political alliances and structures. A belief in conspritard horseshit. A willing suspension of disbelief the size of Van Diemen’s Land that DaVinci created everything and that DaVinci was an ambidextrous swordsman a la the Dread Pirate Roberts and Inigo Montoya. also that he was a cocksman of some renown even though he was probably gayer than springtime in Paris. On the plus there are cans galore in it. Also it was filmed in Jarv’s most favorite land on all of god’s creation, Wales. So it has that going for it.