A look at 2013: January to March

2013-HeaderIt’s a new year. Time for resolutions, fresh starts, life changing decisions and all that bollocks. It’s also a good time to evaluate the cinematic landscape that we’ll be navigating in the new year. 2012 was, let’s face it, a very mixed bag in terms of cinema. Some good, a lot of bad, but mostly it was content with mediocrity. Will 2013 be any different? Let’s take a look.

Note that I am primarily using Wikipedia’s 2013 in Film page as source, and as a general rule it’s initial listings are mostly the more well advertised studio releases. Most of the smaller movies, be it indie, foreign or simply those unannounced, probably won’t feature. So this guide is not a be all and end all. There will no doubt be better, more interesting movies. Well, I hope so anyway.


The Picks…


Broken City

January 18, 2013

Directed by Allen Hughes and starring Mark Wahlberg and Russell Crowe.

I like the actors, I like the director and I enjoy these types of thrillers, so this one ticks a bunch of boxes for me.


The Last Stand

January 18, 2013

Directed by Kim Ji-woon, and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Johnny Knoxville, Zach Gilford, Forest Whitaker, Luis Guzmán, Peter Stormare, Harry Dean Stanton.

Arnie’s first starring role since T3. Doesn’t look brilliant, but it does look fun. And it has Stormare in it. Icing on the cake.



January 25, 2013

Directed by Taylor Hackford, starring Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Nick Nolte and Michael Chiklis.

I haven’t seen the original, so I can’t comment on that. I was ready to write this off, but the trailer makes it look like a fun movie. So I’ll give it a go.

Best Avoid…


A Haunted House

January 11, 2013

Directed by Michael Tiddes, and starring Marlon Wayans.

A parody of a whole bunch of crappy found footage horror movies that I haven’t seen. From the Wayans. Having to sit through the trailer is painful enough. Not on your life.


Others Of Interest…


Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

January 25, 2013

Directed by Tommy Wirkola, and starring Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen and Peter Stormare.

Potentially fun idea. The trailer doesn’t do a whole lot for me, but it might be worth a punt. At the very least, it has Stormare in it.




18 January 2013

Directed by Andres Muschietti, and starring Jessica Chastain and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau.

Spooky horror nonsense from the Guillermo Del Toro stable. Looks creepy. Might be worth checking out.



The Picks…


Stand Up Guys

February 1, 2013

Directed by Fisher Stevens and starring Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Alan Arkin.

The trio of actors is the main reason I want to see this. Looks okay.




A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III

February 8, 2013

Directed by Roman Coppola, and stars Charlie Sheen, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, and Patricia Arquette.

Looks like it’s aspiring to be a Kaufman/Jonze/Anderson mash up. Probably worth a look. Sheen is looking ragged these days!


A Good Day to Die Hard

February 14, 2013

Directed by John Moore, and starring Bruce Willis and Jai Courtney.

Speaking of ragged, Willis is getting on in years. Do they really think anyone is going to want a non-Willis Die Hard? That’s my assumption with this movie. Marketable franchise, but the star is getting old? Time to pass the baton.

Best Avoid…


Safe Haven

February 14, 2013

Directed by Lasse Hallström, and starring Julianne Hough, Josh Duhamel and Cobie Smulders.

I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hate Nicholas Sparks.


Others Of Interest…



February 22, 2013

Directed by Ric Roman Waugh and starring Dwayne Johnson.

I like The Rock. This doesn’t look especially good, but I know I’ll end up seeing it at some stage.




Warm Bodies

February 1, 2013

Directed Jonathan Levine, starring Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer and John Malkovich.

I wasn’t even going to watch the trailer to this because I’m so bored of zombies. But the Dark Skies trailer is so abysmal I had to find another movie. And I’m surprised to say that this looks quite decent.



The Picks…


Dead Man Down

March 8, 2013

Directed by Niels Arden Oplev and starring Colin Farrell and Noomi Rapace.

Pretty much the same as Broken City. I like the actors (well, not a big fan of Howard), the director has potential and I like these types of movies. So this one is high up on my ‘to see’ list.



Olympus Has Fallen

March 22, 2013

Directed by Antoine Fuqua and starring Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman and Angela Bassett.

“Get off my lawn!”

This will most likely be terrible. But I have my fingers crossed that one of the two White House in peril movies will be fun.



March 27, 2013 (UK)

Directed by Danny Boyle, written by John Hodge (Shallow Grave, Trainspotting) and starring James McAvoy, Vincent Cassel and Rosario Dawson.

Just heard about this one. A noirish crime/heist movie. Cassel and John Hodge are the selling points for me.

Best Avoid…


Jack the Giant Slayer

March 1, 2013

Directed by Bryan Singer and starring Nicholas Hoult, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Bill Nighy and Ewan McGregor.

Just… looks… terrible.



Others Of Interest…



March 8, 2013

Directed by Paul Weitz and starring Paul Rudd and Tina Fey.

I like the actors. Not much more to say than that. I’ll see it at some stage.




G.I. Joe: Retaliation

March 29, 2013

Directed by John Cho, and starring Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson and Channing Tatum.

As one of the very few people that liked the first one, I was looking forward to seeing this. But being delayed a year doesn’t exactly bode well. London does blow up real good though.

And that’s it for January to March of 2013. I have no doubt that better movies will come to my attention during the next few months, but for now, these are the picks of the litter. I’ll be back at some stage with the April to June instalment. Stay tuned.

Droid Sig

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About Judge Droid

In between refining my procrastination skills I talk a lot of shit about movies and such.

11 responses to “A look at 2013: January to March”

  1. Jarv says :

    I too hate that Sparks cockwomble. Not feeling these films aside from H&G at all.

    Particularly not a good day to cash in.

    Isn’t GIJ2 meant to be a total fiasco?

    • Droid says :

      Oh no. Joe 2 was delayed so that they could make it 3D. It’s got nothing to do with it being a fiasco. No, they didn’t need to do reshoots because they killed off the biggest new star in Hollywood and replaced him with Bruce Willis. No, nothing to do with it at all.

      My big 3 out of this lot are Broken City, Dead Man Down and The Last Stand. So… it’s not exactly setting the world on fire. It’s somewhat helpful that we will be getting a number of delayed 2012 movies in the next month or so. Otherwise it would look a bit sad.

    • koutchboom says :

      From the director of Step Up 3D???? Naw it’ll be fine.

      Heheheheh remember the last time The Rock continued a franchise without Steven?

  2. Jarv says :

    Re: the Last Stand.

    It has Knoxville in it, so will, therefore, be awful. Everything he’s in is dire.

  3. ThereWolf says :

    Hansel & Gretel, Mama… maybe Trance… definitely Dead Man Down…

    After that, just a lot of ‘at some point’ and ‘no-no’.

  4. koutchboom says :

    Well if you’ve seen the trailer for Warm Bodies, then you’ve seen the whole movie.

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