ThereWolf’s Movie Confession Thing…

Kloipy and Jarv have had a go at this. I’ll have a go too…

Which classic movie don’t you like/can’t enjoy and why?

ET. Didn’t anyone ever tell the bug-eyed twat it’s rude to point? I loathe this film. Mainly because it pissed unfairly over the likes of John Carpenter’s The Thing and Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner, out the same year (1982). The ending goes on and on, clearly designed to have as much snot running down peoples’ faces as is humanly possible long into the end credits. Because of ET, folk suddenly wanted bright ‘n’ breezy feel good family fun, rather than dark cloying visions of dystopia and icky flesh-tearing shape shifters, the sick bastards.

Which ten classic movies haven’t you seen yet?

Very, very difficult to decide on what’s considered a ‘classic’ so I’ve gone with ‘highly regarded’. Plus, there’s a possibility I’ve seen one or more of these and just forgotten; I did go through a spell a long time ago when I was playing catch-up with old films (Halliwell’s fault) and I wouldn’t be surprised if, when finally watching these, I suddenly blurt, ‘Shit, I’ve seen this!’ Pandora’s Box is a likely candidate…

  • Die Nibelungen (1924)
  • The Lost Weekend (1945)
  • Seconds (1966)
  • Limelight (1952)
  • Pandora’s Box (1929)
  • Mr. Deeds Goes To Town (1936)
  • No Country For Old Men (2007)
  • Stalker (1979)
  • Gaslight (1944)
  • Rashomon (1950)

Have you ever sneaked into another movie at the cinema?

I did, but not to watch an entire film. I’d tiptoe into another screen to see what was playing, usually if I was waiting for ‘my’ film to start (if I got there early, or the ‘B’ feature was cack) and sometimes if I got ‘fidgety’ in the film I was watching – y’know, pretend I’m going to the khazi and detour instead. I’ve not done that since I was a kid though.

Which actor/actress do you think is overrated?

Dunno. Never really thought about it. I suppose I’d have to pick Tom Cruise-face. I mean, now and again he shows some chops (Magnolia) but to be honest I’ve lost count of the Cruise starrers where, by the end of the movie, I’ve speculated on how much better the film might have been with another actor in there. He gets roles coz he’s a box office, opening weekend smash & grab. Seriously… Jack Reacher? Also, can I mention Julia Roberts? She’s rubbish. No, I’m not going to qualify that statement. I don’t like her, she gives me the heebie-jeebies.

From which big director have you never seen any movie (and why)?

I can’t think of any. Is Almadovar ‘big’? If he’s big, then him. Reckon I’ve seen at least one movie from all the big guns.

Which movie do you love, but is generally hated?

Generally hated on Moonwolves, or hated in general generally? Out and about, I can’t find any love for Lifeforce; on here, I’ll go for Armageddon though in reality, on here, dozens more as well…

Have you ever been “one of those annoying people” at the cinema?

No. I’ve been sloshed a couple of times and commented loudly on the action on-screen, but not in a persistent manner and usually as part of an audience participation effect. That’s not counting the Star Trek-athon; they were geeks so that’s different. Plus, my most verbal outburst was during Star Trek V and was therefore more entertaining than anything the movie could summon up.

Did you ever watch a movie, which you knew in advance would be bad, just because a specific actor/actress was in it? Which one and why?

Erm, just about anything starring Michael Biehn after 1989…! Why? It’s The Biehn!

Did you ever not watch a specific movie because it had subtitles? 

When I was young and stupid I did. Nowadays it makes no difference. A lot of the big visual films barely need dialogue and I approach them as ‘silent’ movies, I could easily get through those with only one or two explanatory intertitles. I prefer visual storytelling anyway. So, subtitled films don’t worry me and if I miss a few captions coz I’m concentrating on the action I find it rarely hurts the story. REC is a case in point; when I watched that for the first time I often neglected to read the subs yet knew exactly what was going on.

Are there any movies in your collection that you have had for more than five years and never watched?

No. Although I may have bought a film that I’ve already seen and have yet to return to it (Metropolis on blu-ray).

Which are the worst movies in your collection and why do you still own them?

The Fog remake, House Of Wax remake, a few more as well. They’re still in my collection to remind me of my mistakes. Lovefilm now help me to avoid those kind of mistakes.

What film have you watched the most in your collection?

I would say Alien, but I reckon The Thing and Blade Runner are up there too.

Do you have any confessions about your movie watching setup at home?

I try to make it an event, like going to the cinema. Decide on a film at weekend, go out and shop for snacks – chili-coated peanuts, sweet popcorn, beer, red wine, crisps, etc… Draw the blinds, kill the lights. I’ve got a 5.1 set-up, 50-inch plazzy, blu-ray, digital amp… It’s good when the audience reacts; In Stir Of Echoes, The Bacon leaning forward to mess with his telly and when he sits back there’s a ghost sat next to him – watching folk hit the ceiling on that beat; a mate of mine actually screaming during The Descent and I mean a proper double-barreled scream… watching peoples’ eyes get wider, watching them physically plant their feet and push back as far as the seat back will allow when the stricken airplane gets closer and closer in Knowing… You can tell they’ve forgotten they’re sat in an ordinary room in those moments, they’ve been transported away. It’s hard for folk to get that effect; you might be able to hang your telly on a wall now but you can’t push a movie soundtrack through speakers relegated to the rear panel outputting watts you can count on one hand.

Any other confessions you want to make?

I vomited while watching Alien. No, it wasn’t the chestburster scene, though I did perpetuate that myth at school in order to hype up the film even more. I’d eaten too much crap the night before (I was excited). I then continued to eat a lot of crap at the theatre despite feeling unwell – hotdogs, crisps, popcorn, cola, choc-ice… Something had to give. I managed to get out of the seats and honked into a waste bin in the corridor outside. No one was around. So, the exact point of puke was during the ‘cattle prod’ testing scene. I was about 14 at the time.


About ThereWolf

I only come out at night... mostly...

80 responses to “ThereWolf’s Movie Confession Thing…”

  1. ThereWolf says :

    Off on holiday, me. Back a week on Tuesday… possibly…

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      I agree about ET that movie is one of the worst examples of The Beards bad instincts. Its a cloying awful hard to get through piece of junk.

  2. Xiphos0311 says :

    have a good holiday off to watch the birds at the causeway?

    • ThereWolf says :

      Cheers, Xi.

      Yeh, starting in the Lakes, then moving up to the Solway… not quite sure after that. Might come home, might try & find a few more days somewhere else.

  3. Continentalop says :

    I don’t have ET, but I do think it’s overrated.

    And you’re not missing out on Pedro Almadovar.

    Enjoy your vacation Il-Loup.

  4. kloipy says :

    Nicely done Wolf! glad to hear the Alien story too!

  5. Just Pillow Talk says :

    I haven’t seen ET since I was a kid so I can’t say how I would feel about it now. I’m not a big fan of Blade Runner either, so….

    • ThereWolf says :

      I know loads of people who just don’t click with ‘Blade Runner’. But they normally think of ‘ET’ with great fondness.

      It used to wind me up, but now I just accept you can’t force people to like/dislike a movie.

  6. Droid says :

    I like ET. I won’t pretend that it’s a brilliant film but it certainly isn’t a bad one. It’s not one I’ve seen too often, only two, maybe three times. Who cares if it got more buzz than either BR or The Thing? What does it matter? All three got found their audience. ET just found it immediately. It’s not a knock against the film that it did, unless you don’t like it because it’s popular.

    Of your “classics”, I’ve only seen The Lost Weekend, which is good, and No Country, which is also good.

    Back in Aussieland I used to have a kickass 5.1 surround sound system, as I had the luxury of having the space to do so. You’re right, sound on an action, thriller, horror movie elevates the experience. Can’t really have a setup like that where I am. Neighbours would go apeshit.

    Funny Alien story, wolfie. Well done. Enjoy your holiday.

    • ThereWolf says :

      Thank you, R2.

      I’m perfectly amenable to ‘popular’ films; I don’t like ‘ET’. That’s all there is.

      I can’t wait to see ‘The Lost Weekend’… but I’m a little put off ‘No Country’ coz I know the ending. I will see it though.

      The neighbours are ok with the 5.1, I give them fair warning if I’m having a proper ‘film night’. I don’t blast it all the time & it’s upstairs out of the way. They blast me with pop music more than I blast them with movies…

  7. koutchboom says :

    Limelight solid flick, I think David Lynch used a lot of it to inspire him for Eraserhead.

  8. Continentalop says :

    Just for shits and giggles.

    Which classic movie don’t you like/can’t enjoy and why?

    Gone with the Wind. Yeah, it is a classic Hollywood melodrama and example of classy studio entertainment, but it is also history revisionism, Southern apologist propaganda, and borderline racist. I actually hate GWTW more than I do Birth of a Nation – people at least acknowledge that is racist and offensive, yet GWTW is somehow forgiven.

    Which ten classic movies haven’t you seen yet?

    More than I like to admit, especially modern “classics.”

    Late Spring (1949)
    Giant (1956)
    Doctor Zhivago (1965)
    The Sound of Music (1965)
    Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966)
    Playtime (1967)
    Oldboy (2003)
    There Will Be Blood (2007)
    Inglorious Basterds (2009)
    The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

    Have you ever sneaked into another movie at the cinema?

    Yes. Used to do this all the time. Sometimes I would end up seeing three movies in one day.

    Which actor/actress do you think is overrated?

    Johnny Depp. Besides Captain Jack Sparrow, I can’t really think of a performance by him I found interesting. Most of the time he just comes across as annoying and obvious, unless he is trying to play a normal person, in which case he usually comes across as dull or hard to buy.

    From which big director have you never seen any movie (and why)?

    I think I have pretty much at least one film by every so-called “big” director.

    Which movie do you love, but is generally hated?

    The Departed 😉 I can’t think of any really despised film that I love. I do think Friday the 13th Part VII: the New Breed is actually watchable, and think that He’s Just Not That Into You has some decent moments.

    Have you ever been “one of those annoying people” at the cinema?

    No. But I will admit I have been one of those people who gets in fights at a movie. And I don’t just mean yelling matches I mean fistfights.

    Did you ever watch a movie, which you knew in advance would be bad, just because a specific actor/actress was in it? Which one and why?

    Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter is Dead with Christina Applegate. In my defense, she was hot back then.

    Did you ever not watch a specific movie because it had subtitles?

    Yes, but that is only because I was tired. I knew my eyes couldn’t handle reading subtitles at that moment.

    Are there any movies in your collection that you have had for more than five years and never watched?

    Yes, but Billy Madison was a gift by someone who obviously doesn’t know me that well so I don’t feel compelled to watch it.

    Which are the worst movies in your collection and why do you still own them?

    I’m guessing Billy Madison is one of them. But I would also ad Manos, Death Bed, The Big Turn On, Deviant Obsession, Humanoids from the Deep, Shadow Dancer, and Roman. Most of those I own for sentimental reasons or because a friend or me worked on them.

    What film have you watched the most in your collection?

    Citizen Kan, the Maltese Falcon, or Casablanca.

    Do you have any confessions about your movie watching setup at home?

    Not really. I prefer watching movies at the theater so I don’t have a big setup.

    Any other confessions you want to make?

    I was at the Silent Movie Theater when the owner was shot and murdered, and I chased after the gunman with my brother. After we went through the exit we both suddenly realized how dumb and crazy this was, but waited another 5-10 minutes before going back inside to make it look like we gave a good chase and that we didn’t chicken out.

    • Droid says :

      Never seen GWTW. Had it listed on my “unseen classics” list, as it is considered a “classic” and I’ve never felt compelled to watch it. Because frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

      Of your classics…
      Giant (1956) is big, sprawling but only decent. Some horrible “old age” makeup work. James Dean is good as the young man, but terrible trying to play an older man. It’s worth seeing though.
      The Sound of Music (1965) is okay.
      There Will Be Blood (2007) is good made better by DDL.
      Inglorious Basterds (2009) is shite after the first scene.
      The Dark Knight Rises (2012) is very good.

      Depp is terrific in Scissorhands, Sleepy Hollow, Pirates 1 and Ed Wood. But his best performance by a country mile is Donnie Brasco. He’s so damn good in that movie, even if he’s outshone by Al Pacino. Pirates 1 killed his career, and he’s now a parody of himself.

      I thought The Departed was okay. I haven’t seen IA, so have nothing to compare it to there. I liked it for Jack, Baldwin, Sheen but especially Marky Mark.

      Billy Madison was mildly amusing when I was 17, but I saw some of it a few years ago on TV and it’s horrible, unwatchable garbage. Guess I’ve matured and shit. You’d despise it. Great gift that one. That’s a dvd you RE-gift.

      • Jarv says :

        GWTW is heinously overrated.

        Of the choices:

        Late Spring (1949) Nope
        Giant (1956)Nope
        Doctor Zhivago (1965) crap
        The Sound of Music (1965)Awful. Orangutan of Doom
        Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966)Superb
        Playtime (1967)Nope
        Oldboy (2003)Good- but probably third best of that trilogy
        There Will Be Blood (2007)Nope
        Inglorious Basterds (2009)Nope
        The Dark Knight Rises (2012)Good

        Got to agree with the robot about Depp, and also BM.

      • Jarv says :

        Also agree with Xi and Wolf on ET. Just don’t like it.

      • Droid says :

        hehe Sound of Music isn’t that bad. C’mon.

        How was your holiday? Been quiet around here. Very, very quiet. I’ve been no help on that regard either. In the middle of a big project. Not a lot of free time.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s horrible. Painful.

        Spain was good. Got the house sorted, some sun and drank far too much beer.

        I have noticed the lack of activity. Lazy feckers.

      • Droid says :

        heh. It’s actually the opposite. I wasn’t being lazy!

      • Droid says :

        And you lot are no longer ranked number one in test cricket. Just in case you hadn’t seen the papers. I do my bit as a good samaritan.

      • Jarv says :

        I know. There’s a chance that Australia can go back to number 1 by the end of the year.

        Well and truly stuffed by the Saffas. Pah. Still, no more KP, so that’s one less dickhead in the team.

      • Droid says :

        What a knobhead KP is.

        I suppose the Aussies could get back to number 1 based on an Aussie summer of cricket? We’re not playing a lot of tests this year.

      • Jarv says :

        It depends on what happens with England v India and Australia v Saffas. I think if England and India draw and Australia stuff the boks then Aussie leapfrog England and SA.

      • Droid says :

        Can’t see the Aussies beating the Saffas, really. They looked pretty good. I hope so though. Hate the Saffas.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s hard to say, England were shite in the first test from a fucking inexplicable call on the toss, and then shat on themselves in the third (from what I’ve read) with a series of ratty performances and dickheadish infighting. If the Aussies can keep some of their bowlers fit, and not drop catches off Amla, then it may be tight.

        The only positive I can see is that Bairstow played well.

      • Droid says :

        Bell still hasn’t grown a spine. Top 3 were patchy (being generous). Bowlers looked a bit tame, but they came up against good, resilient batting.

        Bairstow did well, and pretty much should be the final nail in whatshisface’s test career. Which is a shame, because we could’ve used the easy out in next years Ashes.

      • Jarv says :

        Bell still hasn’t grown a spine. Top 3 were patchy (being generous). Bowlers looked a bit tame, but they came up against good, resilient batting.


        On the top 3- the problem is Strauss, Cook hit a ton in the first test, and Trott’s just a boring sod who only exists as backup for when Strauss fails. If Strauss retires, then Trott opens with Cook (I still want Lyth or Sayers in there, but it’s not happening), Bell moves to 3, Taylor 4 (I like him), Bairstow 5, and we need to blood someone else for 6. Not Morgan or Bopara.

        I’m prepared to allow the bowlers one bad series, considering that they’ve been carrying the batting for years. However it is worrying.

      • Continentalop says :

        Forgot about Ed Wood. So I will give Depp two performances that really worked.

        But I actually think he sucked in Donnie Brasco, a movie that is otherwise pretty damned good. I can’t imagine any gangster buying that he is one of him. There is nothing street or hard about him, and he just feels like he is acting the entire movie. He should have been outed in the first 10 minutes.

        Blow is another performance by him that is overrated and forced IMO.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t agree about DB. I think he’s terrific.

        Blow is a shit film in general.

      • Jarv says :

        Blow is a heinously overrated movie.

      • Droid says :

        Is Blow “rated” though? I never really see it mentioned. It’s not like it’s Goodfellas, or even something like Boogie Nights. Pretty much fell off the radar. My radar at least.

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve heard a lot of people raving about it. I think it sucks personally.

      • koutchboom says :

        Blow is sort of ‘college film guy’ rated, but I think most critics are sort of meh on it. I just appreciate that the director at least emerced himself in the subject matter.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s a good description of it, actually. “College film guy rated”.

      • Droid says :

        I forgot about Benny and Joon. He’s good in that.

        Really, it’s everything post-Pirates 1 that stinks like week old milk.

    • ThereWolf says :

      ‘Late Spring’, ‘Playtime’ & ‘Basterds’ I haven’t seen.

      ‘Gone With The Wind’ is awful; ‘Citizen Kane’, ‘Maltese Falcon’ & ‘Casablanca – all great. ‘Humanoids From The Deep’… HA! Yeh, I’ve got that one as well…

      Fisticuffs at the cinema… yeh, me too… happy days…

      Funny ‘confession’, Conti. Well played!

  9. Jarv says :

    Great article wolf- Have a nice holiday

  10. koutchboom says :

    As for Johnathan Depp. Well I enjoy him, I normally will eventually watch a movie with him in it, pretty much since Pirates 1 though I won’t actively SEEK OUT a film with him in it, but if it’s on cable I’ll catch it (the Tourist case in point).

    JD’s acting as I see it, he’s only really got three characters (he’s sort of like the primary colors (colour’s) wheel of actors). You’ve got he’s three best performances 1. Ed Wood, 2. Pirates Guy, 3. Edward Scisorhands and everything else is just some slight combination/mixture of them. I mean you COULD stretch it and add a 4th with Gilbert Grape Guy but I still think that’s just a combo of the quiet Scissors with a dash of Pirates. I think Pirates did sort of ruin him, because lets face it….he IS that movie. That movie fucking blows I don’t see why people loved it I’ve tried several times to watch it and can’t ever feign joy about it, and it seems like I could easily be meh about it. I think with Pirates he sort of fell into that souless Jolie territory where everything SEEMS LIKE it should be working and some sort of fun but it’s not.

    The last movie of his I actively saw was Sweeney Todd, now i DID see Dark
    Shadows in theaters but that was cause it was the only movie showing that none of us had seen.

    THAT being said, I do think Dark Shadows is under rated. Now now, before you get all internet spazzy on me hear me out. I’m not implying it’s Ghost Rider 2 levels of good, or even worth checking out. All I’m saying is that most people rated it F…F+ maybe, and I think it’s a solid C film. It’s easily the best movie Tim has done since the towers fell. It’s oddly interesting, I think had he kept it to an hour and a half it would’ve been more enjoyable. I just think most people didn’t get it, or didn’t want to go along with it. It’s got a fucked tone but it looks damn good and I probably laughed more in that than I did at Ted. Also Johnny Depp is doing somewhere between his 1st and 3rd character so it’s a bit of a change up. It at least felt like they were trying, and it felt to me that Timmy was growing as a director. It’s not great but it’s interesting, and yeah probably at the hour and a half mark you could turn it off and not miss anything. I was just surprised that’s all.

    And while had I never seen Todd at home I would’ve said Todd is Timmy’s best post 9/11 film, man that movie had major drop off at home for some reason. I think Dark Shadows will hold up decently on VHS.

    • Jarv says :

      Look at the list Burotn’s made since Sleepy Hollow Koutch-

      They’re all toss- with some like PotA being unspeakably bad. Didn’t you loathe Alice?

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah Alice is terrible, his worst since Pota though is Charlie. Probably the worst/most uneeded remake of all time.

        And I don’t mind Pota, it’s not great, but sort of like Dark Shadows it’s interesting to a fault. And again at least it looked like he was trying for something style wise anyway.

      • Jarv says :

        You’re right, Charlie is worse than PotA. Doesn’t let off PotA though, which is shite.

      • koutchboom says :

        I think with a few changes PotA could be ok, Charlie is just fucked from start to finish.

        I mean PotA is probably what ruined Burton, because he went from his like first real flop (Mars Attacks), Ed Wood can’t really be seen as a flop because of the critical acclaim and I bet if you released it today it would probably be some mild hit. Then for Burton to develop Superman for sometime for it to fall apart then rush and do PotA and have it be this massive out of the gate hit (it’s opening numbers where record breaking at the time) I think sort of gave him the mentality of not trying so hard and you can still make fuck loads of money.

        Personally if they are gonna keep making Pirates movies, why the fuck not give the next one to Burton? No one seems to care about that franchise, so why not just see what Burton does with it.

      • Jarv says :

        PotA was fucked start to finish, and were the ending something else, something that actually fit with what we’d just seen then it may not be as bad.

        However, the whole thing was a huge clusterfuck- but not as bad as Charlie, which is dreadful.

      • koutchboom says :

        It’s got some highlights though that don’t make it totally worthless. The score is really strong. The visuals are really good. And the custume work is top notch. Just a few tweeks here and there, maybe gone for more silly and goofy rather than serious? IDK, I enjoy it for what it is. Also the movement of the apes and all that stuff was cool. You can tell some thought and effort was put into it, design and style wise. Charlie and Alice Tim probably thought of that shit on the spot.

        And also Elfman IS A HUGE aspect to Burton films and PotA was the last time he really added anything. He’s work on Dark Shadows was good as well.

      • Jarv says :

        I agree, the makeup is good, the principal monkeys are good- but they tried hard.

      • Jarv says :

        Superficially it does look like a Planet of the Apes Film, but thematically it’s all over the place, Wahlberg is terrible, and the end is aggravating and painfully annoying.

      • Droid says :

        PotA sucks. No matter how you spin it you’re only polishing a turd.

      • Droid says :

        Tuesday boozing. Should do this more often.

      • Jarv says :

        Fucking Guardian cunts:

        David Lynch designed INLAND EMPIRE to follow the logic of a dream. Essentially it’s a rant about what Hollywood does to actresses, following on from Mulholland Drive.

      • Jarv says :


        The first part of Mulholland Drive is a dream, or a fantasy, of the ideal trip to Hollywood to make it as an actress and find love. The opening of the box in the Club Silencio scene ends the dream because at that point Betty/Diane (Naomi Watts) can no longer escape her guilt. In the real world her Hollywood hopes turned sour and her jealousy led her to have Rita (Laura Harring) murdered. The hitman gave her the key in the box to show her that the job was done, but it’s also a symbol of her guilt. In the final scene, the couple she met at the start of her journey catch up with her. They represent all the hope that was invested in her, and the goodness she came from, and the society she wanted to belong to – so they bring about her destruction under the weight of all that guilt because of the crime she has committed.

      • koutchboom says :

        No…the first two hours of M Drive are ok….then the last thrid turns into nonsense because it was intended to be a show…when that fell through David ‘Lynchified’ it to make it seem like something important when really he just didn’t get to finish telling his tale.

        It’s fucking bizzare to me how many people eat his shit. I even see people now talking about just relaxing and listining to his musical cd he made. Have any of you heard that? It’s fucking nonsense and awful sounding why would anyone actively listen to it beyound a curiosity, let alone find it enjoyable enough to own and “chill out” to? I mean I KNOW i’ve boughten some dumb/bad music that I find funny, but it’s not that way with Lynch. I could understand people going “well it’s weird and fucked up and makes no sense I dig it.” BUT IT’S NEVER THAT. There’s always some higher power and greater depth and MEANING to everything he does.

        And these are real flesh and blood people I’ve heard say this, not just imaginary internet folk like y’all. I’ve heard people say Jurrassic Park’s performance in that piece of shit film is one of the greatest female performances of all time???????????????????? And I can’t hit these people with a baseball bat.

      • Jarv says :

        Someone said that on that comment thread that I lifted those quotes from.

        Jurassic Park should have got the oscar that year, apparently, and it’s a travesty that she didn’t.

      • Jarv says :

        I didn’t know he’d done a CD. Remind me to avoid it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well you should at least check out the music video for ‘No Clown Time’, or at least a minute of it.

      • koutchboom says :

        And my biggest issue with Lynch is that he thrives on annoyance. Watching a Lynch film (yes yes save for the few normal films he’s done) is akin to standing in a steel mill all day, or listening to a baby cry for hours, or the sound of test system on the tv all whilst having a headache. It’s just annoying and unpleasant for the sake of it. Just like who actively enjoys that?

      • Jarv says :

        I quite liked Lost Highway, but at the more incomprehensible end, I’ve got to agree with you. IE in particular just reeks of intentionally pissing people off.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah IE is by far his worst. That’s why I couldn’t believe when I read on some board some dude watched that movie 5 times in a row. My initial question was “Am I talking to a ghost then, because you can not watch that movie five times in a row and not blow your brains out.”

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t believe he did that. That sounds like he’s trying to one up the hipsters and be the hippest mod-er-fucker in the room.

        The cunt.

      • Jarv says :

        Crazy Clown Time?

        7 fucking minutes of Lynch? Yuck.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah just watch the first minute, then imagine people listening to a WHOLE cd of that.

      • Jarv says :

        Think I’ll pass on that pleasant opportunity.

        And with that, I’m off to the pub.


      • koutchboom says :

        No check it out, it’s funny for a minute….then you realize he’s not trying to be funny and then it turns sad real fast. It’s also funny in the notion that he probably realizes it’s crap but he knows people will eat up whatever crap he craps out, which also makes it funny.

  11. tombando says :

    ET and Dr Zhivago crap? Nooooooooo way. I also like Depp in Brasco, awfully good film.

    Did see Django by the way, not bad. Needed some robots.

  12. tombando says :

    I also have Blow, it’s OK, but nothing special and not memorable at all. Depp also really put me to sleep in Public Enemy.

    Warren Oates Dillinger>Depp Dillinger.

  13. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Foolishly watched all of Lynch’s ouvre last year, and I agree to a point. When Lynch is in pure ‘artist’ mode, it’s as Koutch says. In fact he did something called Industrial Symphony 9 which literally seems like he filmed circus performers inside of a steel mill on some sort of really crappy home video camera.

    The clown video is incomprehensible and amusing in a sort of mystifying/horrifying way.

    I think it’s hard really to boil Lynch down to being one kind of filmmaker even though he clearly has a basic style and approach. He’s not one of these guys who made a few good movies and then went off and only made crap. His gems–and he does have them–are wedged between things that are just as bad as stuff he made ten or twenty years earlier.

    I am different than most here because I find Lost Highway incomprehensible and pandering and enjoy Mulholland Drive (although I don’t love it or think it’s the best film ever made or even really deep). For me the difference is when he’s attempted to take his audience into account. MD is very aware that it has an audience in the first half, and then–when he knew he wasn’t trying for ratings anymore–it starts devolving into madness that cannot be accounted for by its supposed explanation. The hit man and the guilt are all fine and true to the story, but why the midget wearing the full-size body, or the creepy cowboy, or the monster behind the dumpster? What do they have to do with anything? They don’t.

    Now, Blue Velvet, Elephant Man, Eraserhead–I’ve come round to its way of thinking–, Straight Story, Twin Peaks and Wild At Heart are all actual accomplishments that any fimmaker would be happy to have in their resume.

    Unfortunately, MD gained him a level of notoriety again that he used for ill with Inland Empire. And some may see Empire as his sole failure but they would have missed many of these performance art things or that hotel tv movie he did, or the various short films, and this or that odd end he’s directing.

    Overall, I like him quite a bit, but he totally needs to be reigned in.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah I prefer MD over Lost Highway. I can’t ever stay awake for Lost Highway. I remember liking MD when I saw it, then getting annoyed with the last half hour. I saw Elephant Man before I knew what a David Lynch was so I need to see that again. And I actually like Eraserhead for what it is. His movies just never stick with me in any way. I’ve seen Blue Velvet twice but can’t recall much of anything about it. I guess I remember Dune. And I’m actually half way through watching Wild At Heart…something I started doing like 2 years ago, should probably finish that.

      I just don’t think Lynch films are ‘smarter’ than any average film. Because it’s not like there is some giant pay off for figuring out his films. I’m sorry to me if you can’t explain the ‘deeper’ meaning of your film in an obvious way that people will get then who gives a fuck what you have to say.

      Wait…I will always remember the “this is a smooth table”, again I saw Fire Walk With Me before I really know what a Lynch was. I own that movie I should revisit it one of these decades.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        I dont think Lynch is deep at all. At least not in the hipster definition of the term.

        Thats where this internet nerd and those others would disagree. I don’t think there often is a point to Lynch beyond what’s onscreen. MD felt, at least to me at the time, as being pretty straightforward with it’s ‘mystery’. However, there’s a point where the Nancy Drew meets Sixth Sense plot stops and there’s just pounds and pounds of nightmare stuff added in that only have the logic of a dream, which means they happen because someone thought of them, and if they are followed deep enough down, they have a root in Lynch’s subconcious, and once revealed, would then be meaningless. The point is, his films by their very nature, are not intellectual at all.

        I’d say the ones that start to move towards a deeper meaning or some element of heft are the starkly simplistic ones like Elephant Man and Straight Story, that don’t depend on his divergent impulses as much.

        Blue Velvet works because its visceral and its rooting underneath some well-established genre tropes and impressions of Americana. None of that really works at an intelligence level, but an emotional/sensory one.

        I suppose I get people calling Cronenberg a ‘smart’ or ‘thoughtful’ filmmaker, but not Lynch so much. Lynch is like carnival barker crossed with that weird, old library dude who stands near the back stacks and is always recommending stuff written in dead languages, not because reading them would enrich you, but because the experience of trying to do so would be bewildering.

    • Droid says :

      Lost Highway > Uwe Boll > Mulholland Drive

      MD is one of the worst “films” I’ve ever seen.

  14. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Also, I get what you mean about the films sticking with you. In fact, as a person who just enjoys watching films, that might be what I like about Lynch. They really do feel like a dream, and the best ones are just sort of sensory, unfolding as they go, and then sort of disappearing when you are done. I guess you can spend time trying to decipher them, but for me that usually removes the fun.

    The more purposefully vague or pompous stuff like Inland (I dont think Eraserhead qualifies as it does have a certain logic/theme that its working through) is the stuff that infuriates me because its Lynch doing Lynchy things trying to outLynch himself while the audience looks on helplessly.

    Those rabbits in Inland are a perfect example of this.

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