Jarv’s movie confessions

Originally Brother Kloipy’s idea, this one, then Droid, being an Australian so genetically prone to this kind of thing, stole it. It is a great idea, though, so I’m having a crack but am going to put a strange little twist on it. Basically, as resident crap movie hound (yes, I know), I’ll gladly go out of my way to watch any old shit, particularly if Brooke Hogan is in it, so instead I’m going to have a look at “quality” cinema that I’ve seen and would recommend. Hope this works.

What are your 10 favourite films:

There are a hell of a lot to choose from, and films do come in and out of this depending on my mood, but in no particular order:

  • City of God
  • Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
  • The Big Sleep
  • Flash Gordon
  • The Princess Bride
  • Goodfellas
  • Alien
  • The Exorcist
  • North By Northwest
  • Jaws

Which is the film that you most recommend to people and why?

Probably The Lives of Others. I think it’s genuinely brilliant and even managed to touch my heart of granite. I know it has subtitles and whatnot, but I honestly think that it’s something that everyone should see.

Which classic movie not mentioned would you unequivocally recommend?

Harvey. If you haven’t seen it, go and find it and stick it on on a Sunday afternoon. James Stewart is superb, and who doesn’t love a film about a 6ft tall invisible rabbit?

What film did you see most times in the cinema?

Easy this one- The Full Monty. Not because I loved it, although I did like it, but for various reasons I ended up seeing it 4 times in the theatre. I was growing to hate it by then.

Which director will you watch a film from regardless of probable quality?

John Carpenter. His continued decline makes me sad, and I keep watching his output in the hope that he’ll get back some kind of form. Hell, if he could just get back to In the Mouth of Madness form that would be something.

Which film have you seen most often?

Flash Gordon. I was given a bootleg VHS of it back in 1984, and watched it countless times. It was also my go to when drunk film, and I now make a ritual of watching it every Christmas morning. It has to be the most awesome and quotable film ever made, and it always makes me smile

Which film have you only seen once that you would most like to revisit?

For some reason, and I’ve no idea why, I’ve only seen Kes once. I keep meaning to get it and then keep forgetting.

Which DVD gets the most play?

Alien. The missus loves them, and they’re watched at least once every couple of months.

What DVD/ Blu Ray are you going to buy next?

Probably The Dark Knight Rises.

Which “guilty pleasure” would you most recommend?

I’m coming to this when I do the retrospective on the Vault for our 3 year anniversary, but leaving Flash Gordon aside, it’s hard to look beyond Split Second. It’s just so awesome on every conceivable level.

Which film are you most looking forward to for the rest of 2012?

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, and don’t laugh, but Dredd has my name all over it. I have no idea why, but the more I think about it, the more excited I’m feeling. I loved 2000AD as a child, and so did Garland apparently, so I’ve high hopes for it. I just hope, and pray, that it makes over $50m in the US, because I really NEED that Judge Death sequel.

That’s more than enough for the moment,

Ciao,

Jarv.

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About Jarv

Workshy cynic, given to posting reams of nonsense on the internet and watching films that have inexplicably got a piss poor reputation.

79 responses to “Jarv’s movie confessions”

  1. kloipy says :

    Nice list Jarv and I liked the twist you put on it. I was surprised by your choice of Harvey, but understand why, great film that one.

  2. tombando says :

    The Big Sleeps great. Elisha Cook Jr And Bob Steele. Good stuff. Gotta like our friend the bookdealer esp after she removes her glasses.

    • Jarv says :

      I love how quotable it is- Bacall’s famous “A lot depends on who’s in the saddle.” is outstanding. I seem to remember a lot of it being improvised.

      It still makes me laugh that Chandler said that he’d written the novel and still couldn’t explain the end.

  3. coltighfighter says :

    I couldnt agree more on City of God, and The Lives of Others.

    And there’s me thinking you have terrible taste 😉

  4. koutchboom says :

    Hehehe Flash Gordon? Have you seen Ted yet?

  5. koutchboom says :

    Also Lives Of Others, I’m sorry I’ve tried several occasions to try to sit through that live action ambian but I can’t. It may be good? The world will never never know.

    Same goes with Harvey, and I even performed the play in the early 80s, I barely managed to stay awake whilst performing it.

  6. tombando says :

    Yeah Harvey nevr did it for me either. Naked Spur or You Cant Take it With You, on the other hand, are great Jimmy S flicks.

  7. Xiphos0311 says :

    What are your 10 favorite films:

    No order

    The Road Warrior
    Jaws
    Goodfellas
    Raiders of the Lost Ark
    Godfather 2
    Master & Commander
    Twelve O’clock High
    The Sand Pebbles
    The Right Stuff
    Equilibrium

    Which is the film that you most recommend to people and why?

    maybe Raiders to remind people that movies use to be fun and well made.

    Which classic movie not mentioned would you unequivocally recommend?

    not sure have to really think this one over…Rear Window or Strategic Air Command.

    What film did you see most times in the cinema?

    Easy Raiders I think I saw that movie like 20 times that summer.

    Which director will you watch a film from regardless of probable quality?

    I don’t really work that way. I’ll watch something if I think it will be interesting or the idea grabs my attention.

    Which film have you seen most often?

    Raiders probably but the Road Warrior is close.

    Which film have you only seen once that you would most like to revisit?

    not sure on this one

    Which DVD gets the most play?

    Don’t own DVDs anymore

    What DVD/ Blu Ray are you going to buy next?

    None

    Which “guilty pleasure” would you most recommend?

    Don’t believe in guilty pleasures if you like something you like it.

    Which film are you most looking forward to for the rest of 2012?

    None Hollywood has effectively killed my interest in movies with their unbroken streak of mediocrity.

  8. tombando says :

    12 Oclock High kinda bores me. Am right with you on Sand Pebbles its great. Have seen Jaws, Raiders and Godfather Too too much to really get much from them now. M and C is terrific.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Tom 12 O Clock High might be just about the best movie about the burden of command ever filmed. Arguably Gregory Pecks Gen Frank Savage is his best role.

  9. Tim The Film Guy says :

    I am so looking forward to Dredd, cant come soon enough and it’s reviews so far are very good so bring it on 😀

  10. Droid says :

    What are your 10 favorite films:

    Number One

    Back to the Future

    2-10 in no order

    Raiders of the Lost Ark
    Master & Commander
    The Silence of the Lambs
    The Castle
    Groundhog Day
    Hoop Dreams
    Adaptation
    Star Wars or The Empire Strikes Back. It’s an ongoing battle for supremacy. Usually the last one I’ve seen
    It’s a Wonderful Life.

    (I wrote this at work the other day, but have forgotten it. I can’t remember what was on there instead of It’s a Wonderful Life, but it’s a very worthy replacement)

    Which is the film that you most recommend to people and why?

    The Castle. Because outside of Australia, no one’s seen it. And it’s bloody hilarious. No one I’ve recommended it to has disliked it.

    Which classic movie not mentioned would you unequivocally recommend?

    Heat

    What film did you see most times in the cinema?

    I’ve seen a lot of movies 3 times. Species (for obvious reasons), Batman Begins and TDK, A Bugs Life. There are probably a few others.

    Which director will you watch a film from regardless of probable quality?

    Spike Jonze. Still 100%. And Michael Bay. For better or (mostly) worse.

    Which film have you seen most often?

    Back to the Future. By about times two.

    Which film have you only seen once that you would most like to revisit?

    Maybe Citizen Kane.

    Which DVD gets the most play?

    Back to the Future, The Castle or Major League (which narrowly missed the top ten, like a lot of great films.

    What DVD/ Blu Ray are you going to buy next?

    Rango probably.

    Which “guilty pleasure” would you most recommend?

    Dunno. The Island, maybe. Not sure I’d recommend a guilty pleasure too strongly.

    Which film are you most looking forward to for the rest of 2012?

    Argo. But a few others as well. Cloud Atlas, Silent Hill 2, Les Mis, Flight, Taken 2 (even though I fear the worst). A few more but that’ll do.

  11. coltighfighter says :

    What are your 10 favourite films:

    LOTR trilogy
    Schindlers List
    The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
    LA Confidential.

    24 Hour Party People
    Strictly Ballroom
    Muriels Wedding
    City of God
    Close Encounters of the Third Kind
    Inception
    Fearless

    Which is the film that you most recommend to people and why?

    Fearless. Peter Weirs PTSD aircrash survivor film is heart breaking, and life reaffirming. A film that touches some real deep truths about the life, loss, grief, faith, and all those other pesky things that make the human experience. Rosie Perez is stupendous in it, and has never been better in anything. Best use of a U2 song as well.

    Which classic movie not mentioned would you unequivocally recommend?

    Casablanca. I went through a phase of trying to watch old classics to expand my film vocabulary. Along with The African Queen, Casablanca reminds you why it is considered a classic. Not a duff line, or wrong beat in the whole thing. It was the start of a beautiful friendship with me and old cinema.

    What film did you see most times in the cinema?

    I’ve never really gone to the cinema much. My parents never paid for us to go as kids, so all my cinema experiences up to a few years ago are few and far between. So the three times I saw all 3 LOTR films is a record that has yet to be beaten. In fact, only The Avengers has been seen more than once since then.

    Which director will you watch a film from regardless of probable quality?

    Curtis Hanson. I think he can make a great film* in any genre.**

    * I know “great” is subjective. But they are always original, and in some wats unique.
    **LA Confidential, The Wonder Boys, In Her Shoes, The River Wild, Lucky You, 8 Mile..

    Which film have you seen most often?

    As a kid, I monstered a few films. I couldnt tell you the final number, but it will be a toss up with, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, or The Blues Brothers, or A Shot In The Dark.

    Which film have you only seen once that you would most like to revisit?

    I did enjoy Attonement, perhaps because I didnt know the twist, and had my stuffing knocked out by it. I doubt it would pack the same punch a second time.

    Which DVD gets the most play?

    Sadly, I can watch Strictly Ballroom, and Muriels Wedding endlessly.

    What DVD/ Blu Ray are you going to buy next?

    Probably Prometheus. I “enjoyed” Avengers more, but Prometheus made me scratch my noodle, for better or worse, more than any film I have seen in ages.

    Which “guilty pleasure” would you most recommend?

    For some reason, I cannot not watch Cry Freedom if it is ever on. Richard Attenboroughs South African apartfied film is heart breaking, and soul lifting in equal measure. And final coda of the film is as devastating as it is unexpected. If you dont know whats coming, it is indelible,

    Which film are you most looking forward to for the rest of 2012?

    Apart from The Hobbit, Cloud Atlas and Les Mis are probably most on my list.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Best use of a U2 song as well.

      Those are words that negate themselves. That has never happened since its U2.

      • coltighfighter says :

        ‘m not a huge U2 fan. But musically, they had a few greats on Joshua Tree. The use of The Streets Have No Name works in the driving/crash scene is, imho, one of the great examples of film and music working perfectly together. I fucking love that scene!

        But Bono is a fat, hypocritical, hat loving twat though.

      • koutchboom says :

        Is he fat? I like Numb, new years day, elevation, the Batman forever song and discotheque. Yeah overall they are solid. Also they have one of the best 3D movies.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s chubby nowadays. Twat for sure.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        correct he is.

        I will concede though that Streets Have No Name and Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For are good songs.

      • Jarv says :

        One

        Probably the last good song they did. I think it was pre Flying his fucking hat first class, though.

    • Jarv says :

      Aside from Inception, which we’ve gone over at great length recently, all very solid. Particularly considered Good the Bad and the Ugly for mine.

    • Droid says :

      Not a big fan of Muriels Wedding, personally. But I love Strictly Ballroom.

      LA Confidential is one of the number of films that can slot straight into the top ten on any given day. Top, top film. I share your appreciation for Curtis. Quality director who seems to be able to do anything.

      • Jarv says :

        LA was a near miss for me too

      • coltighfighter says :

        Amongst all things I love about it, I think SB is a beautifully, and cleverly shot film. Not a bad shot, performance in it.

        It also breaks my heart that the actress who played the mother died before the film came out, because she is at the heart of the whole story, and she plays it so well. Her reaction shots during the final dance make the whole thing,

  12. ThereWolf says :

    Impeccable 10 favs. I do like ‘Flash Gordon’ but it’s not a film I return to much. Nah, it’s impossible to argue with any of those. I couldn’t do a Top 10… no that’s wrong, I COULD do, but it’d change in a couple of days. It’s never set.

    I’m probably buying ‘Prometheus next – but I have got ‘The Thing’ blu-ray steelbook edition on order. I’ve got it on blu-ray already but… it’s ‘The Thing’. And it’s in a steel case. So I’m having it.

    I wasn’t, but I am now looking forward to ‘The Hobbit’.

    Good stuff, Jarv.

    • coltighfighter says :

      The Thing!! Arghhh!!!!

      My top ten is too hard. Dawn of the Dead should probably be in there too!

      • Jarv says :

        Snyder’s? Fuck me.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        it’s better then the original.

      • Jarv says :

        Got to disagree. The presence of zombie-baby makes it insta-shit.

        It’s a terrible film. What’s sad is that it may be snyder’s best.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Nope its a great film due the fact they shoot the zombie baby. It is Snyders best flick.

      • Jarv says :

        That in no way makes up for the horrible acting, writing (dreadful, actually- he’s had her segregated for months and not one of them has taken a peep? Fuck off, they all deserve to die) and hideous effects on the baby. It’s cringeworthy bad, and automatically made me consider going below 1 for it. It’s also every bit as cack-handed as Romeros. In fact, it may actually be more unsubtle.

        The only good Zombie Baby is in Braindead/ Dead Alive.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        dude the “acting” in the original was way worse. Dinner theater actors laugh at it.

      • Jarv says :

        Nothing in either film is as bad as Pfeifer holding the baby crying about his son. Excruciating. The original had wooden acting, but that was actively terrible. Even he didn’t believe the shite he was having to come out with. He’s a crap actor, anyway.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Oh really? Wasn’t there like a 10 minute montage in the original with them pieing zombies and hoarding money that were so cringe worthy that it resembled having a gran mal seizure.

      • ThereWolf says :

        I didn’t watch Snyder’s remake for years due to my love of the original.

        When I finally did, I had to admit it’s a very good remake.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not that hung up on the original and I hated it.

      • coltighfighter says :

        I meant the original. But I think Synders film is nothing short of amazing. Best opening of a film that I had seen in ages, Zombie baby was fine.

        The Exorcist should also be in there, for how much it kicked my teeth in as a kid when I saw it.

        But i was in comedy mode, then I could easily slip Airplane, or Naked Gun in there.

    • Jarv says :

      I love Flash Gordon. Just makes me endlessly happy that it exists in that form.

  13. tombando says :

    My 10 fave movies:

    The Searchers

    Star Wars
    Field of Dreams
    The Third Man
    Lawrence of Arabia
    You Cant Take it With You
    Casablanca
    Odd Man Out
    White Heat
    AmericanGraffiti.

    Fave star is the Duke, Cagney is close though. I don’t care, they do NOT make them like him anymore.

    Fave silent movie you should see: the Iron Horse.

    By the way just saw Bats 3, donno what Harold was smoking. Its quite good, his complaints are bullshit and should be ignored. This from a non-raving fan of the series, I like them for what they are. Point is Harold should be banned from reviewing, there is no excuse for the drivel, pants filling whinefest he spat out onto the web, it is not to be trusted.

  14. tombando says :

    Loathed what I read. There was no excuse for it.

    Flash GORDON is fun. Congo and Force 10 From Navarone have that effect on me. And Armageddon, sad to say.

  15. MORBIUS says :

    .
    I thought SPLICE was your ‘guilty pleasure’!

  16. MORBIUS says :

    .
    And you should give TED a perusal.

    • Jarv says :

      You reckon? I don’t like McFarlane.

      • koutchboom says :

        It’s a mild entertainment, you watch worse crap on a daily basis. It doesn’t offend, but you’ll hopefully get a kick out out of one scene in particular.

      • koutchboom says :

        And so far it seems like if you are a Family Guy fan you won’t love Ted, but if you don’t like Family Guy you’ll really like Ted.

      • Jarv says :

        Right. But I also don’t like The Cleveland Show.

      • koutchboom says :

        Fine don’t watch it. Your making this too hard, clearly theres something in the movie that may spark your interest. Someone’s now backed me up on this. If Echo cared about your happiness like I do he’d also chime in.

        Granted the scene in question is probably the most Family Guy scene in the movie, it was still the biggest laugh in the film and knowing that its something near and dear to your stone of a heart maybe it’ll pump some blood through your veins for once. I’m done dragging you through a good time. Don’t see it, see it or go ahead and watch the next 15 Asylum releases, your fate is in your hands.

      • Jarv says :

        Koutch- you can’t argue about what makes people laugh. I’ll probably catch it on DVD at some point, but I’m not paying the better part of $50 to go to the cinema to see a McFarlane comedy when I think he’s as funny as men in drag for the most part.

      • koutchboom says :

        Oh yeah I never met for you to pay to see it. It’s a renter or DL’er at best. My bad on that. Feels like that thing is on DVD already anyway.

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t think it’s out here yet. Thought you meant to go to the cinema for it.

        I’ll definitely see it on DVD- hell, I even saw the Hangover Poo: Fucked in the arse in Thailand on DVD.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I wasn’t even going to see it in theaters some friends wanted to go and we said sure. I’m sort of amazed with how big it got. It’s sort of a nothing movie. It’s fine its got some laughs, but save for a few scenes I don’t recall a lot of it. All in all its just not offensive enough one way or another.

      • koutchboom says :

        It’s like the John Carter of comedies.

      • Jarv says :

        Big bunch of meh and mostly ignored by the masses?

      • koutchboom says :

        Well it wasn’t a flop, but mostly its there its decent but been there done that. And yeah this time next year no one will know what you are talking about if you bring it up.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hehehe but unlike Carter it’ll get a sequel. I sort of think if Carter got a sequel they may have had a chance at a decent movie if they learned from their mistakes. But what I’ve heard from the Carter books the sequels are mostly rehashes so a sequel could probably suck.

        A Ted sequel will blow.

      • Jarv says :

        Still need to see Carter.

        Inexplicable to spend that much cash on it then do the worst marketing ever.

      • Jarv says :

        It’ll definitely get a sequel- $50m budget and $238m box office.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s an improvement for him, really.

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