Jarv’s Birthday Series Redux: Post Grad (2009)

Due to a small balls up in Wikipedia, I had Der Baader-Meinhof Komplex marked in as my 2009 Birthday film. Unfortunately, I happened to see that in the UK in October of 2008, and the release that Wikipedia was referring to was a film festival in New York. This meant that my journey through the annals of film released on my Birthday is incomplete, and I have to pick another film released as near to 23rd August as possible in 2009. The Candidates were:

  • Inglorious Basterds
  • Post Grad
  • Shorts
  • World’s Greatest Dad

Now, none of these particularly filled me with joy. We’ve a long and documented hatred of Cokey McFrankensteinhead’s ode to self indulgence masquerading as a war film, and I’d rather not see it. Post Grad is, on paper, a hideous romantic comedy with one of the Gilmore Girls. World’s Greatest Dad stars walking bathroom rug Robin Williams, and is therefore to be avoided. Which left Shorts as last film standing, and I have never even heard of it. However, being me, I then completely forgot about redressing the balance. Until yesterday.

Sunday afternoons are made for mooching around and doing nothing in particular. I was sitting on the sofa flicking through channels when I blundered across Film4 advertising that the next film on was Post Grad. This rang a bell, and a cursory search of Imdb reminded me that this was one of the candidates. So, this seemed to me to be a god-given opportunity to clean up the list and put this notion to bed without putting in any effort at all.

This was a mistake.

Contains self-indulgence and Spoilers below.

Congrats! You are now significantly more stupid than you were three years ago. Money well spent.

Post Grad tells what is a fairly common story, and one that many people face every year. Hell, I faced it back in the day. Ryden (Alexis Bledl) has just graduated with an English Degree. She came 2nd in her class, and has amassed a vast amount of CV polishing internships at various publishing houses. She has landed an interview for her dream job, which the entitled cow thinks she is nailed on to get. This thinking has led her to make the mistake of writing a cheque for an apartment that she can’t ever afford, even if she gets the aforementioned job. To make matters worse, on the way to the interview, her car gets smashed at a crossroads. Once she turns up for the interview, she realises that she is but one of dozens of applicants. The inevitable happens and her chances are extinguished within seconds in favour of obvious hate-figure Jessica (Catherine Reitman). So far, so good, and quite like the experience of many a recent graduate. To console herself, she holes up in a supermarket with her best friend Adam (Zach Gilford) to eat ice-cream. His father owns the Supermarket, which leads to an inevitably embarrassing scene when he’s caught almost in flagrante with one of the checkout women.

Bledl had a feeling her interview was taking a turn for the sinister.

Forced to move back home to her eccentric family (Michael Keaton and Jane Lynch play her parents), the remainder of the film follows her less than entertaining experiences with life, love and the trauma of getting a job. Firstly, she takes a demeaning job at her father’s luggage shop, then becomes PA to a Brazilian Director (Rodrigo Santoro). When he walks off the commercial he’s shooting due to a marketing douche asking him to film the guacamole maker in the style of the Matrix (Bullet Time), she goes with him, neglecting her best friend’s gig and the dinner they had planned. Adam, unsurprisingly, is not impressed and tells her to do one. Her father is then arrested for receiving stolen belt buckles (an insanely quirky and quite hateful touch in the film), and immediately after bailing him out she is offered Jessica’s job, without an interview. Wow, how lucky, yet for some reason her life just isn’t complete. So, after a heart to heart with sleazebag next door, she realises that she needs Adam and borrows an ice cream van to win him back. All goes swimmingly, except, clearly due to being sick to the gills of waiting for her, he’s decided to bugger off to New York and Law School (a wise decision considering his total absence of musical talent). What will she do now? Well, the convention dictates that she has to throw in her job (helpfully shown to be pretty crap during a montage, which includes her picking chewing gum off the soles of her bosses shoes, just to make sure that it isn’t really in doubt) which she does with the blessing of her parents. Everyone lives happily ever after.

He's her best friend. In a purely platonic way.

This film is nauseating. Written by an intern at Fox called Kelly Fremon, this is a sickening and painful piece of crap from the entitlement generation. The problems here all stem from the writing, which simultaneously tries to grab our sympathy for the main character, yet fails to make her anything other than a selfish, conceited, entitled bitch. Take the job interview, for example. She can’t be that fucking dumb that she thinks that she was the only person recruited by a major publishing house in LA, surely? Yet she does. Then, once rejected, does she try anything that anyone else does when faced with unemployment, i.e. other publishing houses, a different career, or even fucking temping? No, does she fuck. She won’t even contemplate moving cities to, say, New York, to try to get a job in her dream industry- it’s basically this one publishing house or nothing. The film flirts with her taking other jobs in the form of working for her dad, which should be suitably demeaning and thereby win our sympathy for her, yet it doesn’t because she so obviously thinks she is too good for it. Then, when she gets the “dream job” showing a montage of the trauma that she’s going through by having to *gasp* fetch coffee, or work late, or even *shudder* do photocopying is frankly insulting to the intelligence. Let me let you in to a little secret, love: all jobs are shit, but entry level jobs are particularly shit. It’s called serving time, and as you rise up the ladder and gain experience you spend less and less time with your head in a photocopier.

"'Allo preety lady. You stroke-a my winkie? No? 5 Peso?"

There are far bigger problems with the script than this, though. Firstly, let me talk about the timescale of the film. I would imagine that her graduation is sometime in the summer, so let’s be generous and say late June is the opening scene of the film. The closing scene is just after he’s moved to New York for his first term, so again let’s be generous and say early September. Therefore the trials and tribulations that this poor middle class duck underwent took place within a time period of, er, 2 months and a bit at absolute most. Her suffering and lack of job opportunities that caused her such angst for such a long period of time lasted less than two fucking months! Personally, I found this insulting, as when I graduated I sold door to door for the summer, before landing my “dream job” in September- and I stayed there for the better part of 5 years. How on earth is her life so fucking tough when she was unemployed for approximately one month after university? Have a look at youth unemployment figures in Spain, say, and tell me that two months is remotely comparable to the real spectre of unemployment in the 21st Century for graduates. It isn’t, and I suspect this is entirely down to the “experiences” of one K. Fremon, who I would take a large bet spent about 2 hours unemployed before daddy or someone pulled a few strings for her. This mentality really gets on my nerves- it isn’t enough to work to get the dream job, but you have to have it right now- there’s no sense of perspective, and nothing seems to be earned. A point, incidentally, which the central character doesn’t learn.

Ryden rued throwing away the receipt for her rampant rabbit.

The next problem with the writing is that the film is desperately trying to be a quirky indie Juno style rom com. Therefore it isn’t populated with normal human beings. Keaton, for example, is acting his skin off as the father, but the part is so fucking bizarre, and events happening to him just so off putting that it feels overly “cute”. The two best examples of this are the arrest over the stupid belt buckle thing (seriously, couldn’t he have just been handling stolen Samsonites or something) and the soap box derby. I have no idea, but TV tells me it is so, whether or not these things do take place in America, but I will bet a large amount of money that no child in the history of Soap Box Derbies has ever ridden a coffin on wheels down the course.

Oh no! Other people are interviewing! How will she cope?

The final problem with the writing is Adam. There is no way Adam would wait around for this conceited cow, and frankly the only reason he does is because he’s a walking romantic comedy convention. He’s the oh-so-sensitive best friend that’s loved her forever, and she just doesn’t realise that the one for her is right under her nose. Gilford tries hard, and is reasonably likeable, but there’s no question that he would be better off without her, furthermore, there’s no semblance of burgeoning romance between the pair- she literally makes the decision to up sticks to New York to hook up with him on a whim. The only reason she does so that I can see is that the film has to meet the conventions of the genre. On the other hand, the next door neighbour, who she clearly does have a thing for, and a connection with, buggers off to Rio without even a nod from the cow. I honestly believe that a potentially more interesting, not to mention honest, film would have had her bin the job, and go to Brazil with him before travelling.

Ryden was gutted when her dad fired her for being a useless fucking cow that couldn't even push a bloody suitcase.

The cast are always going to struggle with roles like these. Keaton and Lynch are solid professionals and put in as much of a shift as they reasonably can, with Lynch having the most believable scene in the entire film. Nevertheless, Post Grad isn’t about the family, it’s about poor old Ryden and as such the success of the film, even given the problems with the writing, rests on Bledl’s shoulders. Just a pity she’s a hateful, whiny, self-indulgent little cow with a voice that kills birds. I’m not convinced that casting Bledl was a good idea, because her default expression seems to be “on the verge of tears” and the film comes across as melodramatic and irritating. It gets to the point that you can see her looking almost winsome when she’s meant to be happy. This is a truly rotten performance in a rotten film, but I do blame the script more than the actress.

Oh, the hardship- setting up a meeting! How will she cope?

Overall, Post Grad is a terrible film. It’s populated by obnoxious characters (why have a hate figure when EVERYONE is so hateful?), and screams of selfishness and entitlement. The world does not owe the likes of Ryden a favour, and by showing the trauma of her dream job in a montage when if you work out the chronology of it she was there for a week is painfully insulting to the intelligence. I seriously dislike this film, but in retrospect it isn’t fair on the cast to give it the Orangutan of Doom. Instead, I’m giving it 1 P45 note out of a possible 4.

That’s 2009 now completed for the Birthday Series, hallelujah!

So until next time,


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About Jarv

Workshy cynic, given to posting reams of nonsense on the internet and watching films that have inexplicably got a piss poor reputation.

81 responses to “Jarv’s Birthday Series Redux: Post Grad (2009)”

  1. Droid says :

    Reading your review, I realised that I’ve totally forgotten nearly everything from this movie. I didn’t find it particularly hateful, just innocuous and forgettable (obviously).

    • Jarv says :

      I fucking could not stand her- and I think that’s where a lot of the problems lie.

      And TWO FUCKING MONTHS! She’s hardly long term unemployed, not to mention that she didn’t exactly explore all her options.

      Pah. I don’t like overly “quirky” films.

      • Droid says :

        Sure. If you dislike the main character, the film is dead. I guess I just didn’t think about things like time frame and stuff. The whole thing wasn’t worth thinking too much about.

      • Droid says :

        It’s funny, it reminds me a little of Adventureland. And I actively disliked that film, but remember most of it. I just kind of dismissed this one, but completely purged it from memory.

      • Jarv says :

        See- I think I’ve done the reverse, actively disliked this one and purged Adventureland from my memory.

      • Jarv says :

        I noticed it almost immediately- because the film reeks of being written by someone that didn’t have to try to get a job particularly.

        She does some seriously twattish things as well- standing the dude up for their “date” for example.

  2. Xiphos0311 says :

    sounds bad glad I never even heard of it until I read this review. Beidels a tasty little spinner.

    • Jarv says :

      Not in this she isn’t. It’s like they found the drabbest, least appropriate for her age clothing that they could for her. Mind you, she could have done the whole film topless and I’d have still hated it.

  3. Continentalop says :

    Good review. Reading this, however, makes me realize that film and TV haven’t done a good job with this subject whatsoever (excluding HBO’s Girls, which I hear covers it pretty well but I haven’t seen).

    There really is a good movie to be made about graduating from college and then ending up waiting tables or working at a Starbucks. About the young people who we have basically lied to for their entire lives, telling them that if they go to college and get a degree, any degree, they will have a good job and be part of the educated class and be without worries. Unfortunately, it seems all the people who do kind of tackle this issue are people who maybe were unemployed for like you said 2 months instead of maybe cleaning out trash cans for 2 years while holding a teaching degree.

    Shit, I haven’t even seen this movie but this review has pissed the fuck out of me.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      That whole pushing college as panacea for your future is a con job and it should piss everybody the fuck off along with all the fucking horse shit indoctrination on college campuses. Bunch of fucking lazy assholes the bunch of them. the only thing colleges should teach are hard sciences. all the fucking grievance majors, “education”, soft “sciences”, art, dance, and every other useless fucking majors should get shit canned. Fucking colleges are breeding grounds for the useless and retarded.

      • Continentalop says :

        I actually don’t have a problem with colleges, or even a liberal education or education in the arts. I think much can be said about them, conservatories and art schools. even films schools, being beneficial. Going to such schools gives people an opportunity to hone their craft and gives you access to equipment and resources you couldn’t get on your own. However, I don’t think that the benefits from going to them are equal to how fucking expensive colleges and universities are nowadays, even if you do get a job in your field (I should also mention that the sad fact is most kids are going to college nowadays for the degree saying they went to college, not the actual quality of education in their chosen fields or how well they mastered it; having a NYU diploma in Film seems to be more important than what the fuck you learned or how much you actually learned there).

        I honestly believe there is an education bubble in this country that’s going to bust one of these days.

      • Jarv says :

        There isn’t an education “bubble”. What there is is a consistent erosion of standards at the base of the pyramid. It’s now almost inconceivable for someone to enter the workplace after GCSE’s, which they could do 30 years ago.

        This pressure from the bottom means that the degree has basically become essential if you want any kind of job whatsoever. Despite almost all degrees not called “law” or “medicine” not being worth the paper they’re written on.

        Furthermore, governments use student numbers to mask the real youth unemployment rate. There is no way that 60% of the student population should be in University. No way. It’s just hiding them from statistics.

        The people that lose out in this are the students. Particularly when they come out £30,000 in debt- no chance of a job, worthless degree and likely to be skint for perpetuity

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        you want to learn how to work a camera get a camera job or go to community college 90% of university “degrees” aren’t even worth wiping your own ass with mine included. In short fuck the university system and the useless mongoloid waste of space they crap out every year.

      • koutchboom says :

        You know I agree and don’t agree with you on this. See if you have some generic degree like English, Business, Marketing you are probably just rocking a shitty desk job and yeah thinking you are being underpaid but you aren’t working fast food (unless you are managing one, that’s really not bad money) or anything. But someone who got a real degree from college like say some science, engineering, Architecture or OR degree you are probably fine unless you chose not to continue in that field. I’ve yet to met someone working at service job with a degree, and I’ve never met someone with a real degree that wasn’t doing fine. Did anyone ever do a poll of the Protest people to see what most of their degrees were in? I’m willing to bet it was something like English, Business, Marketing probably Art History. There is nothing wrong with those, they don’t teach some specific skill and you should be able to get some shitty desk job with it and either work your way up or do that until you die, these kids now a days just can’t be happy with some shitty desk job, someones gotta file the paperwork.

        But I do agree with you about the college system as a whole. And it sort of pisses me off. You have to take INTRO TO Psychology, or Sociology, or Speech, or Chem 1-2 (even though you are majoring in Art History). All those worthless classes that usually take up to two years of college life to get out of the way just so you can “find yourself” yeah that’s all bullshit. I’d rather take a course on mortgaging, or dealing with credit cards, or how health care works you know real adult things rather then being forced to take a ‘How To Study’ class. That or turning the whole thing more into a community college like experience, if you don’t know what you wanna do, then go get a fucking job and come back when you realize you wanna be a chemist and then just work on being a chemist. Then it would only be like 2 years of shit. And if you sucked at being a chemist you could always go back and learn how to be Art Historian (in probably 6 weeks to!).

      • Jarv says :

        By Service Job K- the definition is basically anything that isn’t manufacturing based. It’s a “third sector” job.

        I’m with you, I tend to agree with the sentiment Xi has, but think he’s missing bits and pieces.

        I have an English MA, and am doing fine. The value of a degree in the UK is that A-Levels are irretrievably broken and effectively meaningless. When I got mine, it was rare to hear of someone with 3A’s at A level. I got 2 A’s a B and a C which was almost unheard of. Nowadays, though, kids come away with 5,6,7 A levels all at A grade. Not to mention that the exams are easier now than when I passed them- no more three hour closed book English Shakespeare for the poor little ducks.

        Because A levels are fucked, Employers have to use the Degree as the base level of qualification- and often now they ask for more- A lot of jobs I look at also ask for a professional qualification. It didn’t used to be this way- A Levels used to serve this purpose and a degree genuinely opened up a higher prospect of employment. That was the point.

        So, an English degree would open up fast track in various professions such as Marketing. No longer the case.

        PS- the US college system is practically worthless. What the fuck is the point in wanting a Chemistry degree and then spending two years studying fucking philosophy? Complete waste of time for all concerned, and just a way for colleges to squeeze more cash out of students.

      • Jarv says :

        There are a couple of other things to consider as well- a hell of a lot of students at 18 simply aren’t mature enough for a proper career. Secondly, while I tend to agree with you about the value of degrees for your future, this does ignore the value of education for it’s own sake. I’ve not got an axe to grind here, but for some people, notably teachers, there is a huge value at having studied extensively in your field. Thirdly, Universities, well good ones, do at least teach skills that schools don’t- Critical thinking, the ability to construct an argument etc. This is valuable.

        I had some outstanding and hugely knowledgeable English teachers, and they pushed our reading far beyond the curriculum, and as a result made us better at the subject. They got their grounding at university.

        However, do I think that degrees in Media Studies are worth £30K? No. I think that the University system is a gip- although the British system destroys the American one, in that you basically only study your degree subject. What’s the fucking point of wanting to study English and then having to spend years doing remedial astrophysics to make up “credits”. Do that shit at school.

        The real problem, as far as I’m concerned is the school system. Due to incompetence of teachers, and pandering to Unions, the curriculum is hopelessly watered down now. The “basics” of teaching are being done at an older and older age, and as a result, Universities are having to (in a lot of cases) do the job that schools were meant to do.

        Fix the school system- STOP DEVALUING EXAM RESULTS- and then look at Universities. The first thing you do, by the way, is close 75% of Universities in the UK- all the Edinburgh Napier, Bristol UWE, Manchester Met, Middlesex, Sheffield Hallam, Glasgow Strathclyde etc take the axe and are turned back into polytechnics as they were always supposed to be (fuck you New Labour). These aren’t universities, and are a combination of holding pens for dummies and are doing a grotesque disservice in supplying a third rate education with a 5th rate degree to 9th rate students.

        It’s just disgusting that they are mortgaging their future to come out with a piece of paper I wouldn’t wipe my ass with.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        anybody not graduating from a hard science backround I have found to be incoherent fucking retards that make me weep for the future of humanity they are that fucking useless.

        I’ll take an 18 year old high school graduate just out of boot over a precious pampered and effete college graduate any day. At least the kid out of boot has use, like being able to round accurately down range, while a college graduate has none.

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheheheh where are you that you end up hanging around recent college graduates all the time? Enough to know their personality types?

      • Jarv says :

        Education for education’s sake is perfectly valid, and lots of University degrees, particularly in the Arts (I have an MA in English) do teach skills such as critical thinking and the ability to present an argument properly. However, I personally would strip out all the non-traditional degree courses (bye bye Media Studies, Marketing, Business Studies) as they are almost completely useless.

        We’re mostly a service based economy now, and the soft sciences and the arts DO supply you with skills that assist you when you do your job.

        But essentially, you are right there is a lot of laziness, political indoctrination and it is a con.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Of course I’m right.

      • Continentalop says :

        Man, you must have had the worse college experience Xi.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I hated every goddam motherfucking second of it. The worst 3 years of my life even worse then the years I was a state possession in foster care.

    • tombando says :

      I work at an Ivy league school, much of what Noted-Sage Xiphos sez is true, you see grads walk right out after diploma time and become jr grade Wall Street Weasels. You also see idiots w a high priced degree stay idiots, frat boys for life. It is what it is.

      • Continentalop says :

        I agree. I think there is benefits to colleges, even a liberal education, I just also think people have now somehow came up with this equation that college diploma = best qualified. The nature of a college should be is that they prepare you for the real world and for the work force, and that your education and skills you developed there should help you succeed, not the piece of paper from a specific university. Society just assumes to often that having a degree in itself means you’re the best for the job.

        I mean, just because you trained at Wildcard Boxing Gym in Hollywood doesn’t instantly make you a great boxer, you still have to prove yourself. Sure, the level of talent there will probably benefit you, but having “Trained at Wildcard Gym” on your resume doesn’t guarantee you a title shot. Yet, in certain jobs having a diploma from an Ivy league college does seem to get you a top job right off the bat.

        Having a fancy degree shouldn’t be the factor for success, it should be if you actually learned anything in college that is useful. And the only way to demonstrate that is actually competing in the workforce.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well it’s not even that, it’s more just supply and demand. Before 9/11 having a college degree still may have meant something. NOW everyone has one so it doesn’t make you stand out, and therefore lowers the average starting pay for a recent college graduate…since there are so many they can start to pay them less. That and it breeds a idea of contempt for blue collar menial jobs that since they got a college degree they aren’t good enough for them. Well I had a shitty desk job full time and a janitorial job in a bakery part time….and when all was said and done I realized if I just did the janitorial job full time I would’ve made a lot more money.

        And it’s sort of funny most blue collar jobs these days seem more exciting than the average office job. Some times I’d rather sweep and mop for 5 hours than fill out forms and templates for 8.

      • Jarv says :

        Christ, I think the system is broken but it’s insane to say all degrees are worthless.

        I have a liberal degree in English, and am not an incoherent mongoloid, whereas almost every hard science grad I have dealt with would fit that description more.

      • tombando says :

        School I went to was a teacher mill, those that came out as same basically glass ceilinged on graduation, still doing the same shit 20 years lator. You do what you wind up doing.

      • Jarv says :

        You do what you wind up doing.


        Eventually, most people hit where they should be.

      • Continentalop says :

        True. I think what I was describing was more of my experience in the 90s. But one thing is that the number of good white collar jobs isn’t growing to match the growth in population or number of college grads, and at the same time the number of good blue collar jobs also keep shrinking.

        When I first went to college, my dad wanted me to get a degree because he knew the type of job he had, union construction, was dying. Everyone back in the 1990 thought having a college degree guaranteed you to a good office job but as we are seeing that was all bs. In many ways I am glad I dropped out of college instead of wasting money on a degree that would not helping me in my chosen profession.

        I think both blue collar and white collar jobs are fast disappearing – we are quickly becoming a society that’s number one profession will be service jobs, and seriously, who the fuck wants that to be their career?

      • Jarv says :

        This too.

        Post industrialization and post globalization have basically cut swathe out of the traditional jobs.

        I wonder occasionally if Thomas More wasn’t right 500 years ago.

      • Continentalop says :

        You do what you wind up doing.

        See, I agree and disagree with this. The thing is if you don’t get an opportunity how will you wind up doing what you should be doing? I mean, we live in a youth obsessed society, not just in pop culture but also in the work place, and if you don’t get a good start you’re playing an impossible game of catch up or are completely out of the picture.

        That’s why the college thing does annoy me (but not as much as our current youth obsession). If we have a society that says you need a degree for some not certified or technical job, than how the hell is some inner city or farm boy going to compete?

      • Jarv says :

        I meant that in my experience people tend to find their level.

      • koutchboom says :

        Right now I’m more stuck in the rat race of owning a house. I’D LIKE to learn new trades….but this house isn’t going to pay for itself so I must continue to work.

      • Continentalop says :

        Fuck. We’ve just had a discussion about post college jobs and how much value a degree really has that was probably way more entertaining than this fucking movie.

        Seriously how did they blow this topic?

      • Jarv says :

        By the writer having no concept of actually having to get a job.

        I would imagine that internships at Fox require a serious injection of juice from somewhere.

      • Continentalop says :

        Jarv, it has been generally my experience as well. It is really one of those situations where I see an inherent unfairness in the system, yet at the same time I also hear using it as an excuse for their own lack of talent or skill. I sometimes just wanna say “Yeah, but truthfully you’re not really that talented or smart buddy.”

      • Jarv says :

        I’m going to use my career as an example here- apologies, and I’m not trying to be conceited.

        Straight out of college I flogged crap door to door. Hated it. Landed my dream job in music.

        Rose up within 5 years to a high-Ish position. Unfortunately for me got laid off.

        Started again. In a different industry- rise twice in 2 years.

        Quit to study law- didn’t happen for me, for whatever reason.

        Started again in current job- I’ve Benn here 4 years and have risen 3 times, and am in line for next promotion again.

        I’m a lazy cunt, and am not that bright, but can deliver what’s needed, can run a team and am smart enough to see what needs doing when. I may detest it, but I recognize that it pays the bills and any advance I get has to be earned.

        I go to these horrible all company things, and I’m literally hated by a lot of people who have been at my level for a decade or so. I’ll either move up again, or be gone. Yet there’s always a reason why they haven’t moved- and it’s because I kiss ass apparently nowadays.

        It’s bullshit. You work smart and take your opportunities and that’s it.

      • Continentalop says :

        By the writer having no concept of actually having to get a job.

        I’m once again going to blame our youth obsessed culture. How the fuck can kids write drama? Especially kids who maybe lived in the real world for maybe up to 6-months after leaving college and then entered the film business?

      • koutchboom says :

        I could see some indy drama about finding a job form someone between the ages of 20-30. The last good job movie I saw was The Promotion.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s meant to be quirky indie comedy- and should never have been passed.

      • Continentalop says :

        Yeah, bit whomever made it better have been in the real world for over a year and preferably didn’t live in LA or have rich parents. The thing with most movies it seems is that the filmmaker only lived in the real world for like a couple of months and also has parents or relatives in the business (I’m looking at you Reitman).

      • Jarv says :

        Bang on.

        You come out of Uni and discover there’s fuck all out there. So you take a shite temping job-

        Mrs Jarv worked reception in one of the uk’s worst social services.

        This then gives you the experience to go on to something better. While hating every moment of it.

        That is what the non-connected world is like.

      • Jarv says :

        This reminds me- anyone seen bronco recently?

      • koutchboom says :

        IDK maybe that guy he fired made Bronco an example.

  4. Bartleby says :

    the unfortunate thing is that World’s Greatest Dad actually is a decent Williams movie, something darker along the lines of Heathers than the usual Williams pap. And this is coming from a guy who thinks Patch Adams, Jack and Jacob the Liar are a trifecta of pure, unadulterated evil the likes this world has rarely seen.

    • Jarv says :

      Williams has made 10 Orangutan worthy films by my count.

      I can’t take the risk anymore.

      • Bartleby says :

        eh, but One Hour Photo came after the three I mentioned…with the right director, he can turn on the talent. Bobcat Goldwaith is not the kind of guy who is gonna settle for Williams in cheeseball mode.

    • koutchboom says :

      I saw Jacob the liar recently, talk about a whose who of the jewish hollywood world.

      • koutchboom says :

        Since when did two = trifecta?

      • Jarv says :

        I was going to say since when did 10= trifecta.

      • Droid says :

        Clueless was on tv last night. Good movie. But the ads came on and the missus flicked it over to Mrs Doubtfire. Thank christ I have a games room to escape to.

      • Jarv says :

        But the ads came on and the missus flicked it over to Mrs Doubtfire

        Christ, that’s tantamount to domestic violence. Do you want the number for a shelter?

      • Droid says :

        I’ll work it into a kitchen sink misery porn script.

      • Jarv says :

        Nice work.

        I suggest a suitably glum title: Reminiscing from Clapham.

      • Droid says :

        Alternative title: Battersea Bridge.

        Glum, and also relevant to the story, which see’s the despairing, Doubtfire abused lead jump from Battersea Bridge. But since it’s not a very high bridge, he merely breaks his back (maybe courtesty of a thundering belly wacker) and ends up crippled in a home where he is cared for by a burly male nurse who torments him by making him watch a video tape of Mrs Doubtfire over and over. The film can end with him hoarding his pain pills over the space of a few weeks then taking them all at once. The camera pans off his last dying breath to the tv where Robin Williams dressed up as an old woman screeches “HELLLLOOOOO!!!!”

      • Droid says :

        As a staunch defendor of Scotland, how do you find the authenticity of Williams accent in Doubtfire?

      • Jarv says :

        It angers me. Actively. It’s a piss poor attempt at Edinburgh/ Borders but sounds more Irish on more than one occasion.

        I fucking hate that film and everything it represents.

      • Jarv says :

        You on for the Weekend?

      • Droid says :

        Think so. I’ll find out and confirm.

      • Jarv says :



      • Bartleby says :

        trifecta still means three. Hence why it’s the trifecta of Jack, Jacob the Liar and Patch Adams. Unless you are suggesting that one of those isn’t supremely hateful, which I don’t buy.

      • Jarv says :

        I thought he was suggesting that Jakob wasn’t hateful.

      • Jarv says :

        Orangutan of Doom Williams films:

        Jakob the Liar, Jack, Mrs. Doubtfire, Patch Adams, Father’s Day, RV, Bicentennial Man, Hook and Toys.

        9 not 10. I wasn’t far off, though.

      • Bartleby says :

        My guess would be Jack, I find it hard to believe anyone could defend Jakob the Liar.

        It’s not that I dont hate Fathers Day and Old Dogs and RV and nearly every one of the ones you Doomed–there’s not a one I disagree with you on.

        It’s that the three I’ve mentioned attempt this moral superiority that actually ends up being twisted and wrong and bullish. Fathers Day and RV are brainless. Jakob and Patch are soulless. Jack is just complete and utter slop, that is so incredibly wrong-headed as to be incomprehensible.

      • koutchboom says :

        Did not see the mention of Jack, very well carry on.

      • Bartleby says :

        no, it’s ten, Jarv. You have forgotten Flubber. And if not, rest assured, if you ever saw Old Dogs it would jump to ten immediately.

      • Jarv says :

        Ah, Right. I didn’t OoD Flubber, can’t think why, though.

        I have not seen Old Dogs, and I will not see Old Dogs.

      • Bartleby says :

        why wouldnt you OOD Flubber? Is it because it’s mostly innocuous? I saw it on tv–it was on in a doctor’s office or something–and was astonished by how purely idiotic it was, even for being aimed at kids.

      • Jarv says :

        Because it was so squarely aimed at Kids and I remember the Flubber effects being quite good. However, I only saw it once frigging years ago, and barely remember it.

      • Bartleby says :

        yea, you would definitely OOD it now. The flubber effects were crap–even then–and it’s insulting to kids.

      • Droid says :

        hmmm… I’ve seen Flubber and it was just one of those crap kids movies. I don’t think it was OoD worthy. Especially compared to the other Williams efforts. It’s better, for example, than Death to Smoochy. I use the term “better” very loosely. It’s less hateful anyway.

      • Bartleby says :

        yea, I wouldnt personally OOD it, but I think Jarv would.

        DTS is a doomer for sure.

      • Bartleby says :

        but I stand by what I said. WGD is worth seeing. It’s Williams in restrained and dark mode, both of which he’s quite good at. The scene where he finds his son in the beginning was one of the most honest emotional scenes I’ve ever seen him do. It’s so odd to me that the guy who can do One Hour Photo shares a body with the poo-flinging man-child of Old Dogs and Father’s Day.

  5. MORBIUS says :

    Sounds (reads) like the only things keeping this from being a complete
    turd sandwich, are two pieces of bread.
    Might I suggest a nice bath, a savory meal, then on to the couch with
    the missus for a viewing of the splended Love Actually to calm yourself
    down and lift your spirits. Wassail!

  6. Just Pillow Talk says :

    This sounds horrendous, and yet also sounds like pretty much 90% of these type of movies. Horrible.

    • Jarv says :

      It’s utter shit. Painful. It actually belongs on your list not mine,.

      • tombando says :

        Jarv you realize that only tbe grace of the Jeebus kept Mork from appearing in Turdmen(and averting Armageddon) was a well timed fall off the wagon? Think of the possibilities, and know true fear.

  7. ThereWolf says :

    Well done, Jarv.

    That sounds like a bag of shite. I shan’t be partaking.

  8. tombando says :

    Jarv was running around door to door selling C,iff Richard Xmas cds. Amway never had it so bad..

  9. tombando says :

    Thats Cliff

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