Jarv regrets the night before- Prom Night 3: The Last Kiss.

After the Prom Night series decided to abandon the slasher formula for some supernatural shenanigans, and turned in an absolute gem of a little film, I began to hold out some hope for the rest of the series. There’s no need to respect continuity if it means that you turn in a series of identikit killer of the week films with only the inventiveness of the murders to distinguish them (see Friday 13th). However, the makers of Prom Night had higher aspirations, or at least appeared to. Realising that they’d inadvertently struck gold by ripping off Carrie and Nightmare on Elm Street 2, they decided that this was the route to follow, and so kept going with the Mary Lou story, thereby effectively consigning the original Prom Night concept to the dustbin. The result is this lost little gem, The Last Kiss, that takes the concept of undead possessive prom queen Mary Lou to insane new levels.

I really, really liked this film. It could not remotely be said to be a horror film, instead this is going for comedy as hard as it can. As a result, we’ve got a film with a script that isn’t as sharp as its predecessor, lacking the in-jokes that were such a treat. However, instead, it supplements with frankly hilarious kills and sight gags as Mary Lou develops her demonic power to the full.

Meet Alex (Tim Conlon). Alex is a moron, with dreams far above his actual level of talent. Mistakenly believing that he’s bound for medical school, he’s also a minor figure on the football team. His best friend, Shane (David Stratton) is in permanent conflict with his girlfriend Sarah (Cyndy Preston) and the Quarterback kicks his ass regularly. However, his mundane little life is about to be torn apart when Mary Lou (Courtney Taylor) takes a shine to him and decides to fix his life.

What a douchebag. He's just begging for a spiral drill type American Football to the frontal cortex.

What this amounts to, is altering his dismal grade point average electronically, and hilariously offing everyone that gets in her way. Alex, understandably, begins to tire of her murderous shenanigans, and more importantly the work involved burying the bodies on the half way line on the football field, and this leads to trouble in paradise. Next thing you know Alex has been sucked into hell to attend the Zombie Prom to rescue Sarah and escape. Or has he…

Yes, this is a Nightmare on Elm St. Sequel in all but name. It’s fast-paced and highly cartoonish with elements flirting with vulgarity. Nevertheless, Prom Night 3 is monstrously entertaining. No film where the hero consummates his love with his undead mistress on the American flag is ever going to be bad, or where she murders the biology teacher by turning him into a giant sundae, and so forth. This is an absolute blast. Aside from the messy visual gags, the script (Again provided by Ron Oliver) rattles along with many a cracking joke such as “You’ve got to stop killing people”, “I didn’t, it was just a guidance counsellor” being a prime example. As a little aside, keep an ear out for the fantastic school announcements that are all completely unique and several of which border on twisted genius.

What self respecting teenager wouldn't want to do the nasty with a slutty undead prom queen wearing that underwear?

As regards the acting, well it is, as is to be expected in a film like this, patchy. Conlon has a certain dopy charm as Alex, and Preston is winsomely sweet as Sarah. However, the support tends towards the aggravating (especially whatever dickhead it was, whose name escapes me, as Andrew the Quarterback); particularly amongst the adult cast members. Nevertheless, this is a Mary Lou film, and Taylor is on song as the Prom Date from Hell. She’s sexy, not afraid of nudity and more importantly not afraid to play up the laughs with lines such as “I don’t get mad, I bake”. To be honest, if it were me, I’d have to say that I’d have chucked miss goody two shoes for some down and dirty Faustian fun, and that’s full credit to Taylor there.

Ever heard of the ugly bus? It's this magic mode of transportation that turns up very late at night and replaces all the horrible looking people in any establishment with stone cold hotties. Unfortunately, it's twinned with the ugly taxi, a similar magic form of transportation that replaces the stone cold hottie in your bed with something that looks not unlike the image above sometime between your eyes closing and reality rudely intruding on your drunken slumber. This may possibly be the longest caption I've ever done.

This is probably one of the most disposable films that I’ve ever seen. It’s a schlock sequel, and a damned fun one, lacking in any pretentions at a higher level. However, against that, it’s also incredibly shallow and vast swathes of the film are now almost a complete blank for me. I laughed at some of the tannoy announcements, yet when I came to write this review, I actually struggle to remember them. Or I remember the spoof 50’s drugs and VD video being hilarious and Mary Lou featuring prominently, yet I can’t really remember that either. Basically, half the problem here is that while death by Ice Cream may be hilarious, it’s an antic that you’d half expect Freddy Krueger to pull in Film 5 of Nightmare. There’s fun to be had from it, but there’s nothing here that is exactly memorable, and the film badly runs out of steam in the last third.

He had to split. You'd think a pun as obvious as that would be in the movie, but I promise you it isn't.

Overall, I do recommend this. It’s not, in retrospect, quite as good as Hello Mary Lou, but is streets ahead of the meh original, and vastly better than the piece of torn rectal tissue following it. I had a blast watching it first time round, although I am drawing much of a blank now I come to write this, and my suggestion would be to get an ocean of beer in and double bill the two Mary Lou films. Supremely entertaining, if utterly forgettable, these are two of the better horror sequels out there, and infinitely better than the trite slasher garbage that comprises the rest of this series. Prom Night 3: The Last Kiss can have two and a half prom night dumpster babies out of a possible 4.

Sadly, next up is Deliver us from Evil, a loaf of a film that again has nothing to do with the series as a whole, or Mary Lou as a horror character. This is a shame.

Until then,

Jarv.

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About Jarv

Workshy cynic, given to posting reams of nonsense on the internet and watching films that have inexplicably got a piss poor reputation.

6 responses to “Jarv regrets the night before- Prom Night 3: The Last Kiss.”

  1. Jarv says :

    Funny film this one. Prom Night 2 and 3 are a good double bill.

  2. Xiphos0311 says :

    I agree this one wasn’t as sharp as number 2 but it was so sort of, I guess, slapsticky in a lot ways that it was very fun too watch.

  3. Droid says :

    What happened to Buzzsaw?

    He had to split.

    This sounds like shit. But in a good way. Freddy did indeed feed someone to death in Freddy 5. A weight conscious model. Oh, Frederick. You card!

  4. ThereWolf says :

    Yeh, lots and lots of booze are in order for a double-bill of 2 & 3!

    And that’s the finest caption I’ve ever seen. I didn’t know it was physically possible to write one that long, thought there might be certain technical parameters…

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