So you said to yourself “self I wonder what TV shows Xiphos has been watching lately” Well here you go*

*started early April 2011

Don’t say I don’t do things for you people.

Here’s a round up of shows I’ve caught since the start of the year. Most of these I saw via the computer since there have more been a few nights I was working late and alone so the Internet download became my good friend. I predict at least two of these shows will send Jarv’s blood pressure into orbit so that should be fun.


Lights Out: I really dug this show. Theoretically its about an older boxer’s quest to get his heavy weight belt back after it was stolen from him 5 years before. What the show is really about is just how slimy the world of Pro boxing is and just how big a toll physically, mentally, emotionally and financially Pro boxing takes on a fighter. Holt McCallany, a career “that guy”, who you would recognize from dozens of guest appearance in shows like Law & Order (all of them multiple times), Burn Notice, the various CSI platforms and a bunch of movies in bit parts. McCallany has been a working actor for over 20+ years playing cops, hard cases, convicts and soldiers and in Light’s Out he finally got his chance to be a lead actor and ran with it. As Patrick “Lights” Leary, McCallany crafted a multidimensional character you couldn’t help but root for even when he made more than questionable choices in a variety of areas. First and foremost, Lights was a loving family man (and his family walked all over him for it) that could go from mellow to dangerous in a blink of an eye. McCallany has that extra gear that most actors lack that let’s him go from a stand still to billy bad ass in 0.0 seconds and has a cold restrained sense of fury that was interesting to watch. McCallany was in virtually every scene of the show and acquitted himself well as the star. Except for the actors playing Light’s  wife and daughters, the rest of the cast did excellent work. Stacy Keach, as Light’s father and trainer, Pablo Schrieber as Light’s douchy brother and business manger, Johnny. Reg E. Cathey, chewed scenery as a scumbag Don King like promoter, stood particularly tall in their roles. Even though the show has been axed, I have to give the writers props for the way they chose to end the season. When they were shooting the season finale, they didn’t know the show had been canceled. The writers pulled a neat bait and switch and it was ballsy on the show’s part what they did. To bad we’ll never get to see it played out.


Friday Night Lights: In my opinion, pound for pound, FNL has been consistently the best show on TV in the last five seasons that nobody watched. The acting, the writing, the direction never slipped in quality during the entire run of the show, even when they had near wholesale cast changes. The commitment to quality the producers and show runners had was truly amazing. The final season was terrific and the finale was perfect. It wrapped up all the story lines in a manner consistent with how they laid out the characters and story. It’s too bad none of you, except for Barfy, will ever watch it. You’ve missed out on a real gem of a show.


Justified: Talk about a complete turn around from what was a barely mediocre first season to a mostly good second season. Adding the Bennett clan was great for the show and their whole story line was interesting to watch. However the real kudos on Justified are earned by Walton Goggins as Boyd Crowder. He was downright mesmerizing on screen and he was top notch playing a smart, scary, tough mother. Oddly enough the weak link this season was Justified himself, Timothy Olyphant and his current squeeze, the ex Mrs. Justified, Natalie Zea.


Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel: After years of hearing Frank wax poetic over the Buffyverse and an even longer time getting beaten like a rented mule to watch Buffy/Angel from our friend Buffywrestling from AICN and Barfy, being the nice person she is, sent me some episodes. I finally broke down and completed the Whedon watching cycle to completion thus serving my fetishistic need to finish things. I started off with Angel since TNT Network broadcasts two episodes a day. I have to say, I really enjoyed this series. Well, I really enjoyed the last three seasons when they stopped copying the Buffy way of doing business and went way dark in the story line. Good stuff if you have not watched it.

BtVS well I didn’t like it as much as Angel but the first 5 seasons were mostly solid. Season 6 was god awful and unwatchable except for 2 episodes. Season 7 was passable with a good ending to the series. The worst mistake they made was the Dawn character. That useless gimp was annoying, aggravating and the badly handled retcon introduction of her character was insultingly stupid. So now that I have seen the entire Whedon oeuvre here’s my rating. Firefly>Angel>Buffy is way way way way way way way way way way better than Dollhouse which was just shit.


ER: I missed out on the ER furor back in the mid 90’s. When it debuted I was overseas and then at college trying to keep up with all the smart kids that just graduated from expensive prep schools and good public high schools so I didn’t watch much TV. Over the years I had caught episodes here and there and had managed to see the first few seasons “in order” due to TNT Network and Tivo. When I got over here I found the first 11 seasons on DVD so I decided to watch the series straight through (the rest were on line.) I have to say, all in all, a pretty good series for about 7 maybe 8 seasons. Seasons 9-14 sucked but like an over the hill fighter crowded up against the ropes getting hammered by body blows, ER managed to reach back and rally in the final season. It had one of the top five finales in TV history in my opinion. Good job people. Too bad many later seasons  were really terrible and they overshadowed much of the good years. NBC should have sent ER to the circular file after they killed off Dr. Green.

Here is the section where we might lose Jarv to a stroke due to his rage and apoplexy over these shows. This should be fun to watch.


True Blood Season 3 and the first 3 episodes of season 4: I decided to show my support for Alan Ball by watching his stupid show on line. I decided to support Ball after reading an article about him and Quentin Tarantino having a legal tussle. It turns out that Cokey McFranensteinhead lives next door to Alan Ball and his husband or life partner or whatever it’s called for the gays. Apparently they have a menagerie of birds that are loud and right beside where Cokey likes to write, so Cokey sued them like the giant headed loud mouthed pussy he is. ANYTHING that prevents that giant domed hack from shitting out anymore worthless movies that fucktards splodge over gets my support. That is, until YOUR bad TV show gets on MY nerves.

Before I go on I need to state for the record that I enjoy the True Blood books. Are they great literature? Fuck NO! But they are enjoyable enough for me to keep going (I have reviews for the last 2 books to do.) The most recent book is surprisingly full of graphic sex.

Season 3 of TB can be summed up in just one word, shit, because that’s what it is. What I don’t get is, why buy the books and then pretty much disregard the books and make up your own story? Yes, I realize when he bought the rights Ball can do what he wants to the story. Further, I’m not one of those hoople heads that think the movie or TV show has be exactly like the book, different mediums and all. But why do you have to take the character names and very very loose interpretation of the story and then make shit up wholesale? Especially when the story you’re telling blows like a nuclear powered hooker.

The only reasons to watch season 3 of TB are for the nudity (more on that in a minute) and Alexander Skarsgard (ARRRRRGH SKARSGARDDDDD) as Eric Northman (damn this kid gets it), psycho vampire enforcer, Franklin Mott, played by the capable James Frain and most importantly, the insane King of Mississippi played by professional journeyman actor Denis O’Hare who kicked ass and took names as the demented Edgerton. Those 3 actors and the nudity are the only reasons to watch True Blood season 3.
Season 4 seems to have doubled down on the suckage but by god whoever the titty wrangler for TB is deserves special recognition for the quality of breasts that got free in the breeze the first few episodes. Bravo titty wrangler, BRA-FUCKING-VO. Now if somebody would knock some sense into Ball and make him tell a good story that would be mucho appreciated.


Entourage: Man did this show go down hill so I pulled the plug at the end of season 5 and didn’t look back until I read that this is the final season and the completest demon inside me kicked into high gear so I caught up. Season 6 was more of the same but interestingly enough season 7 managed to pull the rare trick of getting better after the series had been in serious decline for a long time. I especially enjoyed the ending of the last episode of season 7 and the justice dealt out by Eminem’s bodyguards. The down side of season 7 is they cast porn star Sasha Grey and gave her a prominent role as Vince’s girl friend. She can’t act and I don’t understand, I mean past the obvious, why directors sing her praise.  Also she isn’t that hot, she is completely average looking and there are porn chick actresses and girls in San Diego, Phoenix and LA that blow her off the map. Vince has gotten better looking anonymous split tail during the course of the series.

The thing I liked about this season was that the other boys started branching out on their own, especially Turtle’s liquor and limo venture. They were fun to watch and it was nice to see Vince get shoved off to the side. E, Turtle, Drama and Ari are the real stars of Entourage, Vince is just the catalyst. I am looking forward to seeing how they end the show this year. It will probably just peter out and have a non-ending, a life goes on for the boys ending, but my secret hope is that they kill off Vince. That would be the ballsy thing to do.


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About Xiphos0311

Sporadic genius but mostly IDGAF.

63 responses to “So you said to yourself “self I wonder what TV shows Xiphos has been watching lately” Well here you go*”

  1. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    Glad you made it through Buffy, although I did like season 6. Evil Willow was very good. Not as good as Vampire Willow, which frankly the whole series should have been about.

    I never watched FNL, but I have heard how good it is. The film was excellent as well.

    I watched ER all the way through. I still miss it.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      I agree evil Willow was probably the best part of season 6 but man Dawn was a freaking anchor and it seemed like everybody from Whedon to the writers were tired and gave up.

      The film was great but the TV, which is a fictionalized, took all the themes and great acting from the movies and doubled down on them. Amazingly good show.

      i was pleasantly surprised how good ER was when it was on it’s game. Even in the later seasons they were still some excellent individual episodes and arcs.

  2. Jarv says :

    Sorry Xi,

    Fucked up. I didn’t realise this was due to go up- I’ve yanked the one I put up and I’ll post it tonight instead.


  3. Jarv says :


    From the fucking Top:

    I’m all for buying the rights to True Blood and then arseraping the dismal Sookie fucks the Undead/ Werewolves/ Werepanthers/ Weretigers/ WereGuinea-fucking-pigs (for all I know), “what shall I wear” sub mills and boon shit. They’re basically Twilight for adult women (With the exception of book 4, that I’ll come to in a minute).

    However, to then take this fucking dismal storyline and try to make it about racism or whatever and then tie it into the most boring ideas that anyone can think of just sums up what is wrong with Hollywood.

    I could have done a better job than this fucking hack.

    On the other hand, if he is stopping Tarantino from ruining things I like, then he gets a lifetime pass.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      The books aren’t much but they are entertaining to me. The last two were quite different, the current one is jammed full of graphic sex, unlike the earlier book where the sex takes place off page and the one before was full of all sorts of violence and weird sex, mostly by psychotic brother and sister fairies.

      • Jarv says :

        Aside from, weirdly, when she was raped- which is bang on page.

      • Jarv says :

        I read the first 8 of them when I had swine flu and was too ill to even move. (I take back all the mockery I dished out about that. Fucking horrid).

        Aside from book 4, they were all utter shit with books 7 & 8 being particularly bad. Book 7 with her screwing the fucking Weretiger was almost unreadable hogwash.Actually at Twilight levels of awfulness.

  4. Jarv says :

    Also, Anna Paquin is not attractive. She’s looking more and more like a horse by the year. Not to mention that her tits, frankly, are not anywhere near good enough for me to make it through the rest of that fucking dogshit.

    How do you get to become a titty wrangler? That must be an awesome job.

    • Jarv says :

      Having just read WIkipedia, that is almost precisely the plot of either the second or third books- and fucking terrible it was too.

      Man that series sucks balls. Novels and TV.

      • Jarv says :

        And Season 4 looks loosely based on the fourth book. Which is the best one. In that it’s the only one that’s actually almost good. Not quite, but nearly. However, it looks a lot like they’re trying to take stuff from later novels (fairy blood etc) and jam it in early.

    • Spud McSpud says :

      Season 2 had MICHELLE FUCKING FORBES as – honestly – a fucking GODDESS. Who wanted to impose a rule of free-love fuckage and general chaos all over the world.


      Well, I love me some Michelle Fucking Forbes, so Jarv – you are wrong. TRUE BLOOD is passable fun most of the time, but TWILIGHT it most certainly is NOT. That shit sucks so much it’s practically in its own dimension…

      • Jarv says :

        I abandoned this shit 4 episodes in for being shit. I’m basing the twilight thing on the, what can only be laughably termed, books.

      • koutchboom says :

        I finally watched a True Blood episode the other day….and yes it is a tv show. IDK sort of boring, Teen Wolf is more fun.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Jarv the thing Ball is doing now is barely even following the books anymore except as a general guideline. It’s almost all made up now and made up badly.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Michelle Forbes was good Spud I agree.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Agreed Paquin is quite horse like now and not a very good actress. There are much better looking blonds that are better actresses that could have played Sookie.

      The titty wrangler job line starts behind me.

  5. Droid says :

    From the top…

    Lights Out… Sounds pretty good. Will take a look someday.

    Friday Night Lights… I will watch this at some stage. It’s on the list.

    Justified… The first series was okay. I’ve been waiting until the second series finished before taking it on.

    Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel… Watched the first 2 or 3 series of this when it was on tv. And the first series of Angel. They’re okay, but I got bored of it.

    ER… Stopped watching this regularly shortly after Clooney left. So only the first couple of seasons. It was good, but not one I felt compelled to watch.

    True Blood… Saw three or four of the first season episodes. More than enough for me.

    Entourage… Thank christ they’re ending it. It needed to end 3 seasons ago. The last season was more of the same. I will watch the last season out of completion, but I’m not really interested in it.

    Good work, Xi.

    • Droid says :

      I will get to some of these after…

      Rome (I’m halfway through the first season), Boardwalk Empire, The Shield, The Wire, Burn Notice, Dexter, Breaking Bad and The Sopranos.

      That’s some hefty tv watching. Geez.

      • Jarv says :

        You missed Game of Thrones

      • Droid says :

        Bloody hell, that too!

        You know, TV has clearly taken over film as the more interesting medium. It’s far more creative, ambitious and satisfying.

      • Droid says :

        Have you still got GoT? Cause I’ll bring my hard drive over. Save me the hassle of acquiring it.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah, I’ll leave it on. You’ve loads of stuff I want to steal anyway.

      • Droid says :

        Let me know what stuff you want. Cause my collection is all over the shop. On my PS3, HD and burnt onto disc.

        I’ll organise the stuff you want.

      • Jarv says :


        Let me have a think…

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        Im jealous at you watching Rome, as it was pretty much the best TV show ever, apart from the magnificence that is Battlestar Galactica. Thirteen!!

        I need to watch The Wire myself. Everyone says that is unmissable tv too.

        TV is definately the new medium for compelling storylines and characters. It seems films, especially the popcorn blockbuster types just darent bog down the effects and tits with actually plot and character development!

        Game of Thrones has been the latest small screen masterpiece for me. I guess I should give Justified or Boardwalk a try too.

      • Jarv says :

        The WIre seasons 1,3 and 4 were some of the greatest TV ever made. Season 2 didn’t really work, and Season 5 WAS good until the last episode which pissed me off.

      • koutchboom says :

        And you all have to finally catch up on Breaking bad.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Out of all those shows Droid put Breaking bad at the end of the line it’s the worst sort of common tripe and suffers from Nerd overblown syndrome. It’s just barely competent and nothing more.

        Burn notice at least teh earlier seasons is light fun that doesn’t require you being invested all that much. That is it’s best selling point.

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw Breaking Bad the first two seasons are some of the best tv to be had. Just try not to finish it after watching the first 7 episodes.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Tigh I think TV for maybe the last 4-5 years maybe more has been where storytelling is at. You can delve into characters more and story lines etc. Unfortunately when TV sucks, like it has been for the last 2 seasons mostly, it’s a woeful place.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Jarv I was like you about season 2 of the Wire but recently I had rewatched the whole series from the start and when I watched it that way I realized season 2 was an import part of the overall point the they were trying to make. I agree viewed on it’s own it’s the weakest season but it did have some fantastic acting in. I think the problem is that the story line lacked some of the sparks of the other seasons and that the story they were telling was a much more subtle then the ones about Marlo, elections, The Barksdale etc. Plus there wasn’t any Michael or Carcetti or Snoop and Chris Partlow. And Omar was missing from most of season 2 which didn’t help at all.

      • Jarv says :

        It just didn’t have the same momentum the rest of them had. It was OK (in comparison to most other things), but just weirdly unsatisfying compared.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Thanks Droid.

      Er should have folded their tents and slunk off into the night after offin Greene it still had some life left in after Cloony but it was going down hill slowly. after Greene died it reached terminal velocity.

  6. koutchboom says :

    Oh and White Collar is the best its ever been, really digging that show right now. Can’t say the same for Burn Notice, also missed the first 1-2 episodes of Warehouse 13 a fun SyFy show, also forgot about Alpha’s, SyFy’s rip off of Heroes at least just going off the commercials.

    And Rescue Me is finally ending….eh the opening show didn’t do much for me, more of the same for Tommy Gavin, hopefully that show ends with him blowing his brains out.

    • Jarv says :

      Koutch, when are you doing another adventure in crap comedy? I’ve been thinking about it and it’s been ages- and I’m curious as to what is actually out there.

      (not for a while obviously, as new job and work and whatnot).

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah IDK, I actually had to clear some space on my DVR because we got Cinemax for a week and I recorded some actual movies I wanted to see. I should get around to it.

        Man I was almost hoping Losers could’ve possibly been a Terrible Comedy, but it was more just a nothing film. My job now I don’t have much of a cube to hide so I can’t just be writing some word doc for a few hours, and my laptop died a couple months back….sooo this is going to have to take all my effort to get up off the couch and type it on the iMac.

      • koutchboom says :

        I did watch half of The Party the other week and that movie wasn’t as funny as I was hoping.

    • Droid says :

      I do WC in season batches. It’s better that way. It’s not compelling enough for a week to week show. I just wait and do a season in one or two weeks.

      I started Rescue Me a few years ago. I lost interest after about 5 or 6 eps.

      • koutchboom says :

        Heheh I came into Rescue me around season 2 or 3, some of the later seasons have been more bad then good. I’ve tried to go back to season one and can’t do it.

        Well this season of White Collar its the show I most look forward to week to week right now. I just like some of the stories they have been doing, I wouldn’t say its some radical reworking, its just been a lot of fun this season, not as boring as the other two.

      • Jarv says :

        Do you ever watch Chuck Koutch?

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I like Chuck, it can be a little hit and miss but its fun when its good.

      • Jarv says :

        I stopped watching it when he got Super Powers. It was shit then.

        Blondie needs to get nekkid, though.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah it goes up and down, but it was one of the few shows just having fun, and one of the few shows like that that could justify the hour time slot most times. That’s what kills a lot of these shows, that they can’t carry an hour.

      • koutchboom says :

        They’ve thought about giving his sister super powers, they have been flirting with it last season and I kept thinking….ohhh man thats going to be sooo fucking stupid. Luckily they haven’t yet.

      • Droid says :

        Koutch, since you watch everything, have you seen that one with that guy that the AICN nerds knock one out to on a daily basis? The guy from Firefly. He’s a writer or something that solves crimes… What the fuck is it called!?!? Blah! Stupid brain.

      • koutchboom says :

        Ohhh Castle, naw I don’t watch that. Tried to watch an episode and found it too boring. Its an ABC show, I only watch their comedies and I guess Lost. I mostly stick to Fox/NBC/FX/USA/Comedy Central and Blue Bloods on CBS.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Rescue Me was pretty good for maybe the first 3 seasons but then it took a hard left turn into suckville. I will end up watching the final season which just started and loathe myself for doing so.

  7. Droid says :

    Jarv, I’ve had a barnstorming idea for you birthday present. It may (or may not, I haven’t decided yet) involve the entire back catalogue of Nicole Kidman.

  8. Continentalop says :

    Man, I really got to get caught up on TV. I barely watch any shows anymore.

    Lights Out had Stacy “Fat City” Keach? If I knew that I probably would have checked it out.

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Conti Keach was his usual good self in LO. By that that i mean it wasn’t paycheck Keach but I want to be good at my job Keach. Him and McCallany played off of each other really well.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah its possible the only good thing Holt’s done, well I mean he was fine in Below and Fight Club, but fuck me his accent in Heroes was possibly one of the worst ever. And he blew in the Losers.

  9. Xiphos0311 says :

    I forgot to put in another show I had watched a few months back. That show was Party Down, which was show on the Starz cable network. The show was about caterers that work in Hollywood. Most of the characters were “actors” or “writers” and were chock full of all the neurosis and goofiness that those types have.The show was wildly uneven but when it worked it was decent and most of the actors, writers and producers were refugees from Veronica Mars which helped. Ronni herself was in a couple of episodes playing a ruthlessly Teutonic manager from rival catering company. Do I recommend it? I give it a mild thumbs up. when it worked it was good and most of the episodes were under 30 minutes so that helped.

  10. tombando says :

    As for me, someone who generally LOATHES all things reality TV, have been having fun watching American Pickers and Pawn Stars. Kinda fun despite the routines getting old fast.

    Then there is Duo Survivalists…..Did you see the one set in Maine? Here I was thinking they were stuck wayyy out past Ashland in the old paper company lands 80 miles from anyone and anything……Camera pulls back, they’re about 400′ from the shoreline. Then they showed a freighter going by.

    Gee guys yer in CUTLER. WOWSERS. Walk 5 feet and you hit Rt 1. Oh well. It was entertaining as always. What’s w/ that Arizona dude in the bare feet? Cody Lundeen?? is he serious?

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      Tom about that Lundeen goof he teaches, and I use the word teach loosely, at a place called Prescott College. Prescott College was the basis for the New School in the movie Billy Jack. Almost from the beginning that place was hippie central and from what I understand from people that know Lundeen, his persona is almost all BS, except for the barefoot thing that he actually does.

      I refuse to watch any “reality” shows. If they are reality shows why do they have writers getting credits at the end of the show?

      • tombando says :

        And there’s always the camera-man, a light-crew, etc just to name a few. It’s as reality as Prof. Rasslin’.

        Yes Lundeen has the hippie thing going. It was just odd watching him stomp around in the bare feet in Thailand or Peru or Maine. Say wha-?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        yeah walking around barefooted is just asking for serious injury, infection or illness. There are many parasites that can enter through your feet especially in the Orient. Strangeloides(Sp have no clue) and the like are nasty little bastards.

      • tombando says :

        I know Maine only too well, it’s not exactly intelligent to be doing that there either. Just exposure and etc is bad enough.

  11. ThereWolf says :

    Eh… y’know me and televison series just don’t mix!

    I know, I know, I’m missing loads of good shit, everyone tells me so. ‘Justified’ sounds decent.

    Nice one, Xi.

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