Trailerthon – June 25, 2011

Movie-Trailer-posterAnother instalment of the much beloved Trailerthon! It’s hit and miss as always.

Footloose-2011-Poster

 

What? Footloose

When? October 14, 2011

Who? Dennis Quaid. A bunch of kids.

I’ve never seen the original film. Dance movies aren’t really for me. Looking at this trailer, there seems to be an awful lot of explosions and action for a film called ‘Footloose’. Dennis, what are you doing?

 

 

 

 

Moneyball_poster

 

What? Moneyball

When? September 23, 2011

Who? Brad Pitt. Jonah Hill. Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Baseball is one of sports most painfully boring viewing experiences. Yet the sport makes for very entertaining movies. Based on a true story, Moneyball looks like it could be good. But why does Jonah Hill seems to be in everything these days?

 

 

rise-of-the-planet-of-the-apes-poster

 

What? Rise of the Planet of the Apes

When? August 5, 2011

Who? James Franco. John Lithgow. WETA.

I didn’t have much interest in this film, until I saw the trailers. They’re a bit too spoilery, but I guess it was necessary to sell the film no one really wanted. Well, it worked. I’m looking forward to this one.

 

 

 

 

Spy_Kids_4_Poster

 

What? Spy Kids 4

When? August 19, 2011

Who? Jessica Alba. The original kids, all growed up.

Speaking of movies no one wants. I’m not a fan of Spy Kids. I’ve seen the first two and they just don’t work for me. And this looks to be more of the same.

 

 

 

 

the-change-up-movie-poster-2011

 

What? The Change Up

When? August 5, 2011

Who? Jason Batemen. Ryan Reynolds.

The old reliable body switch comedy. Bit of a tired formula if you ask me. There’s not much in the way of laughs in the trailer. Maybe they saved them all for the film?

 

 

 

the_muppets_poster

 

What? The Muppets

When? November 23, 2011

Who? Kermit. Miss Piggy. Jason Segel.

The Muppets are awesome. I’m very happy to see that Jason Segel and Co have managed to bring them back. Hopefully this film will deliver. I’m looking forward to finding out.

 

 

 

Captain_America_Poster

 

What? Captain America: The First Avenger

When? July 22, 2011

Who? Chris Evans. Hugo Weaving. Tommy Lee Jones.

HEROES ARE MADE IN AMERICA. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to put that in the trailer? It’s already a difficult enough sell as it is. Anyhoo, that embarrassment aside, Captain America actually looks fun. I’m not sold on the head replacement effects though. He looks a different size in every shot.

 

Shark-Night-3D-movie-poster

 

What? Shark Night 3D

When? September 2, 2011

Who?  The tall, lanky nerd from Avatar.

This looks terrible. That is all.

the-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo-2011-poster

 

What? The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

When? December 21, 2011

Who? David Fincher. Daniel Craig.

I really hate this trailer. It’s just an irritatingly edited collection of random shots. The feel bad trailer of 2011. On this evidence, Fincher continues his spiral.

 

 

 

 

killer_elite

 

What? Killer Elite

When? September 23, 2011

Who? The Stath. Clive Owen. Robert De Paycheck.

More of the same from Stath. Gotta love Clive Owen’s mo’. This was shot in Melbourne. That might get me to the cinema.

03Emech_RS_1Sht.indd

 

What? Real Steel

When? October 7, 2011

Who? Hugh Jackman. Evangeline Lilly.

Shawn Levy looks to continue to break away from crappy kids movies with a decent looking kids movie! I’m looking forward to this. It looks fun.

a-dangerous-method-2011

 

What? A Dangerous Method

When? 10 February 2012 (UK)

Who? Viggo. Fassbender. Keira Knightley.

Despite this being a Cronenburg film, starring Viggo Mortensen and Michael Fassbender, I’m left cold by this trailer.

conan-2011-poster

 

What? Conan The Barbarian

When? August 19, 2011

Who? Stephen Lang. Ron Perlman. Jason Momoa.

This doesn’t look as epic as Arnie’s version, but I does look bloody. Which is a plus. This is a wait and see.

 

 

 

 

 

11-11-11-movie-poster

 

What? 11-11-11

When? November 11, 2011

Who? A bunch of people I’ve never heard of.

A crap looking horror/thriller from the guy who directed three of the Saw sequels. I foresee Koutch raving about this one. There’s a better looking movie coming out on this date.

 

 

 

 

behemoth-poster

What? Behemoth

When? Out Now

Who? Who cares?

I can’t figure out if the monster is living inside the mountain, or the monster is the mountain? Either way, this looks hilarious. Jarv? Frankie? Anyone? Can I tempt you?

 

apollo-18-movie-poster-2011-1020669369

What? Apollo 18

When? January 6, 2012

Who? No one I recognise.

Another “found footage” movie, this time set on the moon. Just as long as the monsters aren’t werewolves and there’s no lesbians in it, we’re safe.

30-Minutes-or-Less-Poster

 

What? 30 Minutes or Less

When? August 12, 2011

Who? Fred Ward!

Most of us liked Zombieland. Ruben Fleishers follow up is an action comedy starring Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz Ansari, Danny McBride and Fred Ward. It’s been a while since we’ve had a really good action-comedy. The Other Guys was fun, but didn’t quite nail it. From the looks of this one, we still might have to wait.

 

Puss-in-Boots-movie-poster

 

What? Puss in Boots

When? November 4, 2011

Who? Antonio Banderas. Salma Hayek.

A Shrek spinoff. Seeing as though I didn’t like Shrek (but somehow saw three of them!), this doesn’t really interest me.

 

 

 

Final-Destination-5-Poster-2011

 

What? Final Destination 5

When? August 12, 2011

Who? Tony Todd.

More of the same. A group of teenagers dodge death in a tragic accident, then death catches up with them one by one in a series of ever increasingly elaborate “accidents”. This formula was tired by the first sequel. But Tony Todds in it. Doesn’t look like it’s the same role as his one in the first film though.

 

anonymous_poster

 

What? Anonymous

When? October 28, 2011

Who? Rhys Ifans. David Thewlis. Vanessa Redgrave.

I like conspiracy theory films, and this looks like a dumbhouse one at that. No surprise seeing as it’s Roland Emmerich. Looks like it could be fun, but the brainstrust behind the trailer couldn’t have chosen a more jarringly out of place song than Radiohead’s ‘Everything in it’s right place’.

 

 

Immortals-Poster-2011

 

What? Immortals

When? November 11, 2011

Who? Stephen Dorff. Mickey Rourke.

Tarsem resurrected himself after the awful ‘The Cell’ with the wonderful ‘The Fall’. Immortals, starring the new Superman, looks pretty stupid. Hopefully it’ll be better than ‘300’. Wouldn’t be difficult.

 

 

abduction-movie-poster-2011

What? Adbuction

When? September 23, 2011

Who? Taylor Lautner. Sigourney Weaver. Alfred Molina.

This Taylor Lautner kid can’t act. You might be able to get away with that in Twilight, but when you put him next to Sigourney Weaver, Alfred Molina, Jason Isaacs and Maria Bello, it’s painfully clear. Even from the trailer. John Singleton continues his rapid descent to the bottom of the barrel.

I-Don't-Know-How-She-Does-It-Poster

 

What? I Don’t Know How She Does It

When? 16 September 2011

Who? Sarah Jessica Parker. Pierce Brosnan.

Memo to Jarv: You are hereby assigned to review this film upon it’s release in the UK. No need to thank me. Droid.

 

 

 

 

What's_Your_Number-_Poster

What? What’s Your Number?

When? September 30, 2011

Who? Anna Faris. Chris Evans.

Jarv, once you’ve turned in your ‘I Don’t Know How She Does It’ assignment, you can get cracking on this one. Cheers.

Horrible_Bosses_Poster

What? Horrible Bosses

When? July 8, 2011 

Who? Jason Bateman. Colin Farrell. Jennifer Aniston.

Here you go, Frankie. Another alleged comedy you’ll have to watch to maintain 100% Aniston.

Classic trailer time!!!

jaws-film

What? Jaws

When? June 20, 1975

Who? Roy Scheider. Robert Shaw. Richard Dreyfuss.

Despite this being a bit bloated, particularly the second half, this is a great trailer. I love the voice over guy, particularly the end line “See it… Before you go swimming.”

Droid

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About Judge Droid

In between refining my procrastination skills I talk a lot of shit about movies and such.

23 responses to “Trailerthon – June 25, 2011”

  1. DocPazuzu says :

    Yes, well…. I do think the choice of tag line for Cap can seem a bit off-putting, but I think there’s a bit of context missing there. See, a big part of the classic conflict between the Red Skull and Cap is the idea that in Nazi Germany you’re BORN to supremacy by virtue of bloodline or destiny whereas in America ANYONE can become a super-soldier. This is echoed in Red Skull’s truly baffled question about what makes Cap so special. “Nothing. I’m just a kid from Brooklyn” is his reply. This is the core of the character.

    Besides, the tagline wasn’t “Heroes are only made in America.”

    • Droid says :

      To me, the tagline sounds like they’re either…

      A) Claiming no one else besides America has heroes.

      or

      B) American heroes have to be “made”. Which in the context of this film is accurate, because despite him having courage and heart, he’s not a “hero” until he is manufactured into one.

      Either way, it’s a shit slogan.

      • DocPazuzu says :

        It’s not the super-serum that “made” him a hero.

      • Droid says :

        Of course it is. He isn’t considered a hero until after he is made into a superman and he starts crackin Nazi skulls. Before that he’s just a kid with guts. And just having guts doesn’t make you a hero. It’s your actions that do. The kid is only allowed the chance to take action, prove himself, achieve hero status, after he is made into Captain America.

      • Droid says :

        And considering the things he does after he is given the serum, no matter how much guts the kid has, he would’ve died immediately. And instead of being known as a “hero” he would’ve been a sad footnote. “Remember that scrawny, asthmatic kid from Brooklyn? Boy, he had guts didn’t he?”

      • DocPazuzu says :

        For the sake of conversation, let us suppose it was a live grenade that was thrown at the training camp. Yes, Steve Rogers would have been one dead-ass skinny guy, but he would also have been remembered as a goddamn hero. In other words, he already proved himself a hero before getting anywhere near the serum. The fact that the grenade was a dud had nothing to do with it.

      • Jarv says :

        If that is the case- then the slogan is even worse.

        It implies that ONLY America makes the type of person that would take the grenade.

        As a marketing whore myself, that laziness always pisses me off. Given 10 minutes I can come up with 5 different taglines better than that.

        PS behemoth looks mint.

      • DocPazuzu says :

        The tagline IS bad, there’s no getting around it. My point is simply that there’s more going on there than a lot of Cap haters would think. It annoys me as well that the marketing people made the movie such an easy target by including that line.

        It truly makes my balls itch listening to knee-jerk tools like goatfucker calling Captain America a “fascist” and making it painfully obvious that they know absolutely nothing about the character.

  2. Droid says :

    Here’s who needs to watch Behemoth…

  3. ThereWolf says :

    Pretty much want to see Moneyball, Immortals, Captain America, Girl With Dragon Tattoo & Apollo 18.

    Probably have a look at Conan, Behemoth & Anonymous. Possibly also Dangerous Method – but I laughed inappropriately.

    Everything else I’ve forgotten already.

    Nice one, Droid.

  4. Continentalop says :

    I see the “HEROES ARE MADE IN AMERICA” as a riff on the phrase “MADE IN AMERICA,” as something we should look at with pride and something that should have meaning.

    Plus I think people see it in the wrong context, much like how people always saw “My country, right or wrong”, in the wrong context (They seem to forget or don’t know about the whole quote: “Our country! In her intercourse with foreign nations, may she always be in the right; but our country, right or wrong.”).

    I see it as an inspiring reminder, not a confirmation, that Heroes can come from America. The emphasis shouldn’t be “Heroes are made in America” but “Heroes are made in America.”

    At least that is how I see it.

    • Jarv says :

      No.

      That is probably what they’re aiming for- but it doesn’t work, especially for any non-American.

      • Continentalop says :

        Still better than their original idea for the tagline:

        America means never having to say you’re sorry.

      • Jarv says :

        The thing is an acceptable tagline could be “Heroes are born not made”

        Equally lame- but at least not offensively bad.

      • Jarv says :

        In America no-one can hear you scream.

      • Continentalop says :

        The thing is an acceptable tagline could be “Heroes are born not made”

        Equally lame- but at least not offensively bad.

        You’re just jealous that you’re not an American and are stuck with Captain Britain instead of Captain America. Britain has no good heroes, while America has Captain America, Spider-Man, Superman, Batman, Tarzan, Thor, James Bond and Sherlock Holmes.

        Plus his name is Captain America. He is a patriotic hero. I think it would be ridiculous to not have some sort of patriotic tone with his tagline (and I see that tagline as patriotic and not nationalistic or jingoistic).

      • Jarv says :

        I think we need a modern American hero. I hereby propose Captain Fatass.

        Was an ordinary schoolboy until an accident with a radioactive rascal. Defeats villains by making them more stupid and his corrosive meat sweat.

      • Continentalop says :

        Captain Fatass? You mean Don Murphy?

        Sadly, I think more Americans could relate to Captain Fatass nowadays than they could Captain America…

      • Jarv says :

        Has Smurph ever been heroic though?

      • Continentalop says :

        Has Smurph ever been heroic though?

        Which, tragically, is one more reason why more Americans could probably relate to him more than Captain America…

        (Although he did once “heroically” finish off an two orders of Chili Cheese fries instead of letting them go to waste).

  5. Continentalop says :

    BTW, I don’t like the Captain America trailer. It actually makes it look good, faithful to Kirby & Simon’s (and later Kirby & Lee’s) vision but still believable, and that I could like it.

    This is how I am usually suckered into a movie that I hate…

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