The Underrated: The Chronicles of Riddick

Right, let me just check my inventory for this one: Flak jacket? Check. Tin Hat? Check. Bunker? Check? Magic shite repelling shield? Arse, there’s always something.

Well, that’s as prepared as I’m going to get for this. I’ve long held out that while in no stretch of the imagination is Chronicles of Riddick a good film (and let’s face it, it really isn’t), it is at the very least a hilariously entertaining one with more ambition, balls and downright flair than almost everything else that passes itself off as a summer movie nowadays.

Pitch Black was a small horror/ sci-fi movie starring a  then unknown Vin Diesel as enigmatic serial killer and all round douchbag Riddick. He was supported by a then unknown Radha Mitchell, some chick from Farscape and the film basically told the story of a misfit group of survivors trying to survive an incredibly unlikely solar eclipse while hiding from big flying alien bastards that are more photosensitive than a ginger Scotsman. It was small scale, but actually quite superb, and certainly deserved a sequel of some description.

What it did not, by any stretch of the imagination, warrant was the big bloated Conan-in-space saga that David Twohy delivered. Somehow he managed to turn the small, almost intimate, first film into an absolutely insane beast, that flirts with incomprehensibility (seriously, 1 million internets to anyone that can explain the Necromonger religion to me below the line) and features a cast that somehow sports Thandi Newton, Karl Urban, Colm Feore, Vin himself, Keith fucking David, Linus Roache and Dame Judi Dench. Seriously, how did this happen? What absolutely mindblowing drug was everyone on? And more importantly, where can I get some?

She only has one expression

The film basically tells the story of some planet that’s of importance for some reason or other. It’s being picked off by the Necromongers (an evil brigade of fetishistic space bastards that either enslave everyone to their lunatic religion or trash the planet), and Ariel (Judi Dench), is doing something or other as an Air Elemental. In the meantime, head Necromonger is a dude that is apparently half dead (Colm Feore) and his prized underlings (Karl Urban and a desperately-Lady-Macbeth-channelling Thandi Newton) are plotting to overthrow him, because, apparently, in their religion you keep what you kill. In the meantime, Riddick has been captured by intergalactic bounty hunter Toomes (Nick Chinlund) and reunited with Kyra (Alexa Davalos) on triple-really-hard-to-break-out-of security prison on the planet Crematoria. Which, incidentally, is so called because it’s really hot on the surface when the sun comes out. Like really fucking hot, so hot, in fact, that only a madman (or a group of desperate convicts) would attempt to cross the surface by outrunning the sun. The Necromongers (for reasons never properly explained- something to do with him being a Furian) decide that they need Riddick from Crematoria so send a retrieval party. Then there’s a big fight, and Riddick ends up on the throne of the Necromongers.

No, I haven’t a fucking clue either.

No matter how hard you try, Urban, you will never be a badass

Really, this is an inordinately stupid film. It is also, however a supremely entertaining one. I get that The Chronicles of Riddick is about as subtle as Murphy when confronted with a Big Mac, I mean, for fuck’s sake the really hot planet is called Crematoria, but honestly, it’s also hugely enjoyable and more importantly hugely likable. That it is comes down to several important factors. The first is that this is a genuinely first rate cast toying with utterly improbable material so all seem to be really enjoying themselves. Check out the scene between Dench and Newton where Thandi tries to off her by pushing her out of a plane/ spaceship with the line “Can Elementals Fly”, to be replied with “No, but we can float”. Incidentally, this is delivered with real relish by Dench- who is simply far too classy for a load of old cock like this. How can you not like a film with that in it? It’s hilarious.

The fight scenes, and don’t all laugh at once, are actually surprisingly well staged. Twohy doesn’t jam the camera up the actors nose or shake it around like it’s palsied. Rather, they are all properly staged and properly choreographed. This makes a massive difference in this day and age, as I’m pig sick of what passes for fighting in modern movies. Unfortunately, the climactic battle is marred by an intensely cretinous special effect that just doesn’t work on screen, but you can’t have everything.

"This is my cunning plan" "Fuck off, Nothing's cunning in this film"

Nevertheless, I’m basically recommending this film for two scenes. The first is in Crematoria where Kyra is rescued by Vin. Vin delivers an intensely stupid line about killing the guy with his tea cup, puts said tea cup of TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION down (seriously, it’s a fucking small tea cup) and then, good as his word, uses it to kill the guy. You’d think Vin is now unarmed, and you’d be right, except he’s Riddick, so puts a toothpick down. Honestly, this is absolute gold and deserves to go in a far more technically accomplished film than this one.

May I refer you to picture 1?

The second one, actually, is going to make my top 10 “Dumbest things in Cinema” list, but it is so much fun that I honestly think the film is worth a watch just for this scene. Just in case you haven’t guessed- I’m going to recommend a film based on the ability of the main characters to outrun the fucking sun. To start with, I don’t care what future it is, but no man or beast can outrun the sun. It’s dumb. The only thing in the dumbness league would be say, to outrun the cold, or perhaps outrun the wind. Nevertheless, this is actually quite an exciting footrace as our convict crew attempt to traverse the surface while the guards attempt to make the same distance in access tunnels in safety. Obviously, the sun starts to rise and we get the sheer pleasure of a group of knuckleheads climbing a cliff face while behind them the very atmosphere ignites in a spectacular explosion. Honestly, I know it’s paste-eatingly dim, but how much entertainment do you want?

Vin is just as perplexed as Judi is to find her in this film

Overall, obviously, The Chronicles of Riddick is an immensely flawed film. However, it’s as much fun as being the judge in a taste test competition when the item in question is prize-winning beer. It may be an incomprehensible giant todger of a film, but I do believe that it doesn’t merit the level of abuse that it receives, and as dumb as it is I do applaud the effort made and ambition shown. Silly, but fun.

And that’s why The Chronicles of Riddick is Underrated. Now bring on the abuse, but more importantly, bring on the Sequel.

Until next time,

Jarv

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About Jarv

Workshy cynic, given to posting reams of nonsense on the internet and watching films that have inexplicably got a piss poor reputation.

100 responses to “The Underrated: The Chronicles of Riddick”

  1. Jarv says :

    Bring on the abuse!

    I challenge anyone to find a more honest defense of this film out there- oh, and I am aware that publishing an article on the merits of this is borderline trolling.

  2. just pillow talk says :

    Heh…

    Well, isn’t a Furian part of the prophecy to defeat the necrothingies, hence the reason they go after him?

    I love it when Riddick puts the knife in the head dude’s head and Thandie screams “noooooooo!!!!” Such anguish! Heh…

    I like how Riddick picks off Toomes’ first team so easily and makes a comment along the lines of “team of four…for me?”

    Riddick of course lets Toomes catch him so that he can gather up Kyra and bugger off the prison planet.

    I would prefer a sequel of more of the same type of movie, instead of going smaller.

    • Jarv says :

      Apparently, but there’s no rhyme or reason for the prophecy either.

      As for the rest of them, totally agree. Hilarious.

      I’d like them to go on this scale as well- don’t think it will ever happen, though.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Well, does there ever have to be a reason for a prophecy?

        For instance, the prophecy of 2for2true bringing down pencil jihad to the world is just…accepted.

        No, you’re right, I think Vin has said it will be closer in nature to Pitch Black than Chronicles, which is a downright shame.

      • Jarv says :

        I know, but they only mention the prophecy to have a convenient reason to go and fetch him from Crematoria.

        we all fear Pencil Jihad, it has been foretold and will come to pass.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I think the prophecy said that the “last” Furian(which sounds like a furry convention) would destroy the Necromongers in retaliation for wiping out the Furians. But Linus Roach was a Furian so the prophecy was already fucked.

      • Jarv says :

        No, it was that A furian would do it, hence the whole genocide thing. Which doesn’t make sense when Roach is on the ship.

        Still, agree- fucked.

        Anyone want to try the religion conundrum? Admittedly, it’s no less silly than, say, Scientology, but really, WTF?

      • just pillow talk says :

        He doesn’t count as a Furian anymore since he was “converted”. Problem solved. Prophecy still good!

      • Jarv says :

        That’s pretty weak. And anyway, if they missed Riddick, it’s not unreasonable to assume that there’s another one out there in the Universe.

        Sloppy, man, sloppy.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Fully agreed: I’d outrace the sun, wind, mudslide, angry midgets…for Alexis Davalos.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Roach was converted to the religion but he was still a Furian and proved in the end by walking into the heat. I always thought the conversion really hadn’t taken he was just playing along to survive.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s as close as I get as well.

      • just pillow talk says :

        I take it as being a Furian is more a state of mind…unwilling to bend or break, a big fuck off to the world. Hence, they thought Roach became a non-factor due to seeing the light of the Underverse.

      • Jarv says :

        No- it’s been from the planet Furia.

        See, we’ve got no fucking idea between us. That’s how badly thought out the whole thing is.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Too much focus on the gigantic heads and not on the what and whys of the religion….

  3. Xiphos0311 says :

    It was Claudia Black no Radha Mitchell that was in Farscape.

    Other then that good review and I actually don’t think the movie is that stupid and is fairly well made. The dumb parts are executed well so you buy into them.

  4. Xiphos0311 says :

    Alexis Davalos was smoking hot in this. It needed to be said.

  5. Jarv says :

    It also has to be said- I really like that poster.

  6. Xiphos0311 says :

    I’ll take a stab at the Necromonger religion thing. Don’t the Necromongers think the “real” universe is like wrong or a joke or something and it falls to them to correct it so they convert or kill anybody who disagrees. Which is how every religion works since the dawn of time.

    • Jarv says :

      Not bad.

      It’s something to do with being as holy as you can be by being as close to death as possible and on a never ending journey to the Underverse, but they have to recruit as many as possible/ destroy along the way. However, you keep what you kill, because death is holy.

      I’m not sure either.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Um, when has religion ever made sense?

      • Jarv says :

        Once we were smart enough to reason for ourselves, then it stopped. Before that, though…

      • just pillow talk says :

        When the hell was that?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        Only 2 religions ever made a lick of sense. Buddhism since it basically says fuck off and find the answer yourself and the Norse religions. The Norse say If you die well naked chicks take you to a big hall where you eat drink, fuck and talk about fighting all night and fight all day. That’s sensible in my book.

      • just pillow talk says :

        The Norse were fucking wise.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        You have no idea how much I want Valhalla to be the true afterlife…

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        You guys realize that you have to die in combat to get to Valhalla right?

      • Jarv says :

        Yup. Doesn’t say how you have to die, though. So you can die getting decapitated by an Angry Viking…

        OR you can die in the post-battle orgy from a variety of alcohol related and sexual mishaps.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Xi – Yeah, but surely being not-very-good in combat would actually speed my way there?? 😉

        Knowing the Norse, there’s probably a ranking system basing how good your afterlife in Valhalla is by how tough you are in combat. So Xi gets the pick of the Sports Illustrated Valkyries, and I get the chubby Helga in the corner ;/

      • Jarv says :

        Chunkier women still need lovin’

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Yes, they do. Oh yes, they do.

        And I’m not exactly Slim Jim myself. Clue’s in the name 😀

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      According to wiki The necros have their reproductive capabilities removed so they have to convert in order to survive.

      • just pillow talk says :

        Oh, so they’re lawyers and politicians…
        zing!

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        I wish politicians were sterile unfortunately they use their kids as campaign props.

      • Jarv says :

        And then make sure their offspring become party hacks as well

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Xi – I always thought politicians were like a virus. Nothing short of nuclear annihilation can cleanse the earth of their filthy greed.

        As for lawyers – those fuckers will be the last living things in the universe, kept alive by pure spite…

      • Jarv says :

        Hey!

        I nearly was a lawyer. I’ve got the GDL and everything.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Yep – Mrs Spud-To-Be got her degree in Law too. Fuck knows why, though, she’s ended up dealing with policies on the NHS in some Godforsaken hellhole of a cubicle farm…

        Maybe the fact that she’s not remotely spiteful means she’s better off not being a lawyer. Jarv, you’d have been Jimmy “The Man Pimp Daddy Mother Fucker” Smits on LA LAW with all that bile you reserve for the Murph and the Hellraiser latter sequels ;D

      • Jarv says :

        GDL was the worst mistake I ever made.

        Fucked my career, was completely boring and I shat my shares in the on-line gambler to pay for it.

  7. Spud McSpud says :

    You asked for this, Jarv. You were warned…

    You kicked off with a stormer. To call RIDDICK “a hilariously entertaining one with more ambition, balls and downright flair than almost everything else that passes itself off as a summer movie nowadays” – couldn’t be more right. The sheer size and scale of the story made it interesting – the problems, such as they are, are minor production design ones, such as having the Production Minion With No Imagination naming planets, for example. “New Mecca” I accept, “Furya” – Fury with an A?? Ripped off from “Fury 161” in ALIEN 3 no doubt, and a little unsubtle, but fine. But “Crematoria”?? Come ON!! How ‘bout a little fucking effort?? “Necromongers”?? Sounds like the AD&D campaigns it’s so obviously based on (Vin’s a major league D&D fan IRL). Weak sauce, guys.

    Again, you were right about PITCH BLACK. Loving the “more photosensitive than a ginger Scotsman” – aye, right enough!!

    “What it did not, by any stretch of the imagination, warrant was the big bloated Conan-in-space saga that David Twohy delivered.” – Well, why the hell not? There’s obviously a whole universe behind this one – quite superbly sketched out on zero budget on the mini-movies featured on the fully loaded DVD of PITCH BLACK – so it’s nice to get to see so much of it. Yet another “Chosen One” story is definitely hackneyed at this point, but fuck it – it’s VIN, man! Free pass for avoiding a sniper by riding a tea-tray in xXx. What is it with Vin and tea, anyway??

    “(seriously, 1 million internets to anyone that can explain the Necromonger religion to me below the line)” – It’s basically planewalking, AD&D style. In AD&D you can get between different planes of existence – the Material plane, the Ethereal plane (which is or isn’t the afterlife, depending how you use it), the Magical plane, etc. RIDDICK posits that the Necromongers can exist in two planes of existence simultaneously – the Material (Riddick’s) and the Underverse (the RIDDICK version of the Ethereal, or afterlife, plane). Hence the effect you hate so much – it’s the Lord Marshal’s soul moving before his body does, co-existing on two planes. But this only happens to Necromongers who have visited the Underverse – and return changed…

    As for the religion?? They’re fanatics. You convert – swear the oath and you’re in, a conscript in the Necromonger army. Those who don’t get executed. And from what I remember, if your planet is no use to them, they take the conscripts then leave the objectors planetside when they torch the planet.

    “and features a cast that somehow sports Thandi Newton, Karl Urban, Colm Feore, Vin himself, Keith fucking David, Linus Roache and Dame Judi Dench. Seriously, how did this happen?” – Well, I know in Dame Judi’s case, Vin asked for her personally because he wanted to work with her. And when the production gave her a fairly low paycheque – less than seven figures – for her services, Dame Judi (being English) didn’t complain. So Vin did. He swung it for her to get around $7 mil, saying “Pay the Dame what she is worth”. The man is a class act.

    Talking of which – in pre-production for RIDDICK, Vin went back to an old RPG store he used to frequent as a role-player. While in there buying AD&D books to show Twohy, some kids in there recognised him. They were surprised Vin was a role-player, Vin had a chat about AD&D with them, then signed their books AND paid for them. Like I said – a class act, and a gentleman.

    “The film basically tells the story of some planet that’s of importance for some reason or other.” – It’s only important because his friend Imam (Keith FUCKING David) is on it. The Necros just want conscripts- the planet’s of no significance to them. Catching Riddick is more important, especially when they discover he’s a Furyan.

    “In the meantime, head Necromonger is a dude that is apparently half dead” – He’s been to the Underverse, and returned changed! Keep up, man!!

    “The Necromongers (for reasons never properly explained- something to do with him being a Furian) decide that they need Riddick from Crematoria so send a retrieval party.” – The hoary old “there’s a prophecy saying the last Furyan will end the Necromongers forever” shtick. Old, but classic.

    “Then there’s a big fight, and Riddick ends up on the throne of the Necromongers.” – Yep, they keep what they kill. Very CONAN, as you noted.

    “Really, this is an inordinately stupid film. It is also, however a supremely entertaining one.” – Unfair, really. It does make sense, but a lot is only half-explained (there’s a lot to pick up from other media such as novels, comics, the games etc), plus the absolute stupidity of the place names and some of the races. That said, it’s all kinds of AWESOME.

    “I mean, for fuck’s sake the really hot planet is called Crematoria, but honestly, it’s also hugely enjoyable and more importantly hugely likable” – Damn straight. And yes, CREMATORIA is fucking stupid as a name.

    “The fight scenes, and don’t all laugh at once, are actually surprisingly well staged” – Well, that’s Vin’s thing. You’ll notice, in amongst the homo-erotic vapidity of the FAST AND THE FURIOUS movies, that the fights are quite well staged. Vin’s a director too, so he knows how to stage action.

    “Unfortunately, the climactic battle is marred by an intensely cretinous special effect that just doesn’t work on screen, but you can’t have everything” – It’s the Necromonger moving his spirit before his material body. And the bit at the end? Ripping out the soul to kill the body. I thought it looked cool, but hey, I liked the body shields in DUNE, so fuck it, ignore me 😀

    “I’m going to recommend a film based on the ability of the main characters to outrun the fucking sun. To start with, I don’t care what future it is, but no man or beast can outrun the sun. It’s dumb” – Depends on the size of the planet, the rotation, the speed of the sun rising etc. On our planet, it takes hours to get from the horizon to the azimuth (is that right?). You can easily outrun an Earth sunrise, it takes ages to move. It’s an acceptable idea.

    “The only thing in the dumbness league would be say, to outrun the cold, or perhaps outrun the wind” – Which is why I NEVER watch shit like THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW or THE HAPPENING. Well, not more than once.

    “I do believe that it doesn’t merit the level of abuse that it receives, and as dumb as it is I do applaud the effort made and ambition shown. Silly, but fun” – Hey, agreed. RIDDICK is fucking AWESOME!

    What’s really sad is that the majority of the cinema audience – specifically, the knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing dumbfucks in the audience – couldn’t cope with the universe expansion and the AD&D plot and all the additional information – they just want to see Riddick go “Ug!” and beat up space monsters with his bare fists. So – after that fantastic CONAN-rip-off ending we get – instead of a meaty threequel that will explain and expand on all this 80s RPG greatness, we’re gonna get a fucking sub-Van-Damme slugfest for the dumbfucks in the audience to watch before trying out those same moves on each other the next night.

    Sometimes, I fucking hate the move-going public.

    So, enjoy RIDDICK while it lasts – because the third movie will be dumbed down beyond all recognition. If they did away with the dialogue altogether, I would not be fucking surprised.

    You’ve been more than fair, Jarv. But you must attain at least three more XP levels in AD&D before you begin to completely comprehend the greatness that is THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK…

    • Xiphos0311 says :

      So Spud can an 7th level magi orc defeat 7th level elf monk spell caster? Let me roll the 20 sided dice and find out.

      • Jarv says :

        There are 20 sided Di?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        damn it I meant to correct something and I erased the original post, sorry.

        here is a picture of a 20 sided dice

      • Jarv says :

        I’m going to ask something dumb now:

        What can it do that ordinary di won’t do?

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        more numbers I guess means a larger probability index and choices for the game player to make. I’m only guessing though I really don’t know. Maybe Spud does.

      • Jarv says :

        Surely you can do that with, er, more cube dice?

      • Spud McSpud says :

        As always, Xi is right on the money. Basic D&D started the multi-dice craze – you got a 4-sided die (basically a pyramid), 6-sided (standard), 8 sided, 10 sided, 12 sided, 20 sided, and apparently these days there is such a thing as a 100-sided die, which is essentialy a golf ball with lots of very small numbers. Pointless.

        The probability index of different size dice is exploited in practically every multi-dice RPG out there, but there’s also the simplification of stat rolling to consider. In Basic D&D (if memory serves) a Barbarian would get a D8 of STR, which made him stronger than your average character; Rogues and the like, a D6 of STR; Magic-users get a D4 of STR. STR (Strength) is more a fighter’s main stat, whereas AGY (Agillity) would be higher for a Rogue or Thief, or possibly an Elf, whereas CON (Constitution) would be higher for a Dwarf…

        I mainly used D20, as that’s what ARMS LAW / CLAW LAW and SPELL LAW used (it was an Iron Crown Enterprises system that extensively used Middle Earth for its campaign packs, and tied in with the MIDDLE-EARTH ROLE PLAYING GAME).

      • Jarv says :

        Hate to do this, but…

        Leave your lunch money on the table 😉

        I had no idea. Aside from taking the piss out of LARPers.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, can you not use 2 10 sided ones for 100?

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Xi – the elf monk would wipe out the orc mage any day. D&D seems very down on the orc race. Fight the power!! >:D

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Jarv – Yeah, you can use two 10-sided dice for the 1-100 count – one as the tens, one as the single number. As for your earlier remark…

        “I didn’t spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage!!”

        200 XP for whoever gets that quote 🙂

      • Jarv says :

        Either dork trek or something like the x-files.

        Says the man that just watched a Chuck repeat.

      • koutchboom says :

        X-Files.

        I was hopeing that it was going to be from that Tom Hanks D&D movie he did.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        THE X-FILES. Jarv, you’re a level 2 Acerbic Witted Trollslayer with a +3 Magic Cuntslammer.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Koutch!!! Oh you did NOT just reference MAZES AND MONSTERS, the Tom Hanks Don’t-play-LARP-games-they’ll-fuck-you-up-and-make-you-meeental anti-RPG movie of the early-to-mid 80s, did you??

        Oh you fucking DID!!

        That movie is fantastic. The implication that playing RPGs and going LARPing makes you lose your sense of reality and turns you into some mentalist… just awesome!!

        This movie is to RPGs what TRICK OR TREAT was to heavy metal 😀

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mazes_and_Monsters_(novel)

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mazes_and_Monsters

        You’re very welcome ;D

      • koutchboom says :

        Nice been wanting to see this thing for a while now. Wonder if I ever saw it as a child.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        Play.com £4.99, and apparently MAZES & MONSTERS is also on Netflix.

        It’s so po-faced in its stance that RPGs make you mentally ill, it’s hilarious. REFFER MADNESS for the D&D generation, indeed.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m genuinely thinking about that one.

      • Jarv says :

        Admittedly, I’m also thinking about Assasin’s Creed 2 and Bioshock 2 for the PS3 for £15

      • Spud McSpud says :

        In fairness, Jarv, MAZES & MONSTERS would be perfect for the Schlock Vault. The thought of a movie lecturing you not to play role-playing games, they make you mental… Brilliant.

        Plus, Hanks really does go bugnuts in this movie. I like to think his character eventually got medicated back to normal, then became the guy he played in THE ‘BURBS 😀

  8. Spud McSpud says :

    There was only one post on here when I started that long-ass post. Now there’s a shitload. Don’t I feel like the arsehole??

    • Jarv says :

      Not at all.

      That’s a very thorough deconstruction of it. Still, I’ll try to level up so I can understand it more in future.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        This piece of Shit deserves every ounce of scorn heaped upon it for simple reason. It sucked. Just a gawdawful bloated mess or par with the matrix sequels in sheer self absorbed pseudo religious mythologizing. Fucking awful scripting directing and acting. Horrible characterization and no attention to any plot detail. I will say i liked some of the action sequences but for sheer stupidity and monumental hubris it is only surpassed bu matrix sequels because those nutcases really thought they were recreating dianetics

      • Jarv says :

        That’s very harsh TKD.

        I’d watch it back to back before the Matrix- and come on- outrunning the sun with the atmosphere exploding behind them? Hilarious.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Harsh? Hmm well perhaps a tad but this movie really pushes all of my ‘bigger bloated piece of shit’ buttons. I loved pitch black but twohy and Vin went full retard with script. Yes it had some moments like tea cup but the stupidity on display was breath taking. As for heavy metal movie yes that is the animated movie came out in early 80 s. Not the 2000 sequel

      • Jarv says :

        It’s enjoyable for the stupidity. Honest.

      • Xiphos0311 says :

        What should they have done Toad, another copy of Pitch Black? Personally I applaud Twohy for going for it on the scale he did. Even more amazing, in my opinion, is they more or less pulled it off unlike the subsequent Matrixes(Matrices?) flicks.

        Now the escape from Butcher Bay prison idea would have made for an interesting movie, one I personally would have enjoyed, but the problem with those kinds of “escape from prison” sci fi movie is they become very self limiting almost at once. For proof I point you towards Alien 3. Those sorts of movies tend to leave the broader audience unenthusiastic with the product.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        In fairness, I’d have liked to see an ESCAPE FROM BUTCHER BAY movie too. But Xi has a point – where do you go with it once Riddick wins (which he would)? finding the guys who put him away? He’s already admitted he did what he was incarcerated for – he’s a psycho with morals. The Chosen One thing is all played out. I don’t know how you’d make it more interesting once he’s out. Certainly didn’t work after the prison section in FACE OFF, anyway…

      • Jarv says :

        It wasn’t a bad idea. I don’t know where they go with it next, but back to Pitch Black is a terrible call.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Twohy and Vinnie smoking a doobie – ‘so vin, *uooofff* oh this is good shit, im thinking we make dude last of his kind or maybe next to last of his kind and make him so badass that there is a prophecy about his race that apparently was not as badass as we think cause they all got wiped out but forget about that, and if there is a prophecy that means there mist be some type of religion or shit and so we make it some fucked up thing worshiping the dead or some shit with that star trek mirror mirror thing of killing the guy in front of of you to move up’ Vin: mannnn i loved that goateed spock – dont be bogarting that shit’ twohy – ‘ my bad, anyway so then we throw in some wild esacpes and crashing and shit and make dude become emperor of the universe and sip tea at same time. Vin -‘ lets make him kill somebody with a tea cup – that would be badass!’

        So, where would i go? Anywhere but there.
        I probably would have done the prequel route if i could not have come up with a better idea than necromongers. Hell they could have made it a multiple palnet chase flic with bounty hunters after him, while he helps others. Instead they did the ‘Strange Brew’ saturday night fever / staying alive thing’ bigger is bloated is better is shit’, see strange brew for tv show within the movie problem of what happens when you just throw money at people who had a small success and now are given unlimited cash to piss away. You get chronicles of riddick bull shit.

        Yes, it had some visually arresting moments, but the script was blowtarded. I loved pitch black because it was smart, and tightly directed and scripted. But COR is exactly like the matrix sequels: Full of itself. Self satisfied. Self indulgent. Self mythologizing. And shit

  9. koutchboom says :

    And don’t worry Jarv I own this as well. Need to watch it again. I catch 10-20 minutes of it all the time because they play is so much on TV.

  10. koutchboom says :

    My biggest issue with this movie was that I never got to see it on the big screen. I was sailing around that summer, and was all excited for this to be there when I got back, only to find out that it was in theaters for only a weekend. Pitch Black was an amazing experience in the theater. I didn’t really know shit about it going in, just that it was some really cool low budget SyFy film and that opening crash, HOT DAMN! It never was as good at home, and also knowing whats coming but that first time.

  11. Toadkillerdog says :

    Jarv that was a nice write up though. Probably nicest thing twohy heard about movie outside of the guy who sold him the dope he was on before he wrote it

    • Toadkillerdog says :

      As for the last furiam y’all need to watch the heavy metal movie. One it has Lincoln stern who was so depraved he even ran a pre school prostitute ring. But it also had the last of her race of warriors a ‘terakian’

  12. koutchboom says :

    This is pretty funny:

    After the original Pitch Black (2000) proved a success on DVD, Universal became interested in making a sequel. Writer/director David Twohy wrote the screenplays for not one, but three sequels. He and Vin Diesel put them into separate leather binders and presented them to Universal, along with the key for the first binder.

  13. Xiphos0311 says :

    The implication that playing RPGs and going LARPing makes you lose your sense of reality

    Well…

  14. Frank Marmoset says :

    I read an interview one time where Twohy talked about this being the first chapter of an epic sci-fi Lord Of The Rings type of thing, which would make Pitch Black loosely equivalent to The Hobbit. Cool idea. Shame he didn’t pull it off.

    This one’s definitely an interesting mess. I want to like it, and it has its moments, but overall it doesn’t really hang together for me, mostly because the story doesn’t make much sense.

  15. DocPazuzu says :

    You guys are putting too much into this Linus Roache thing. I think Magua summed the situation up quite succinctly:

    “In time Magua became blood-brother to Mohawk to become free. But in his heart he always was Huron.”

    First, the bad: the word “necromongers” — awful. Also, the entire prophecy. It would have been cooler if Riddick simply thwarted the will of Providence/gods/whatever through his sheer badassedness rather than actually being the last Furyan.

    The good: pretty much everything else. The movie is very stupid, but has buckets of sheer entertainment value, is gorgeous to look at and the fight/action scenes are top-notch.

    Twohy should have been the natural go-to guy for the new Conan movie.

  16. TomBodet says :

    But where do the Giant Robots factor into this thing?! I remember playing D and D, but I always Roger Rabbitted it-tossing in Daffy, Donald, Bugs and the Stooges into the mix of thigns. Just couldn’t take it that seriously. Daffy just stole your +2 Bastard Sword there guy. Sorry.

  17. Droid says :

    Christ, this movie blows. I’ll admit that it’s far too dumb to be hateful, but fuck me this is not an underrated movie. It’s fairly maligned because it’s shit. Plain and simple.

    I do, however, enjoy it in movies when people attain the impossible ability to outrun nature’s elements.

  18. ThereWolf says :

    The only thing I can say – and more or less everything’s already been said & I agree with Spud’s big-ass post – is that ‘Riddick’ is a trifle over-ambitious. That’s not a bad thing – it can be, but not in this case.

    I like the film. I think it’s a good film.

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