Merry Christmas

Droid did this last year, so I’ll do it this year.

Merry Fucking Christmas.

And thanks very much to all the lovely people who helped me piss away my work time during the last 12 months (in no particular order):

  • Frank- Good to have you back,
  • Droid- You are indeed a cunt.
  • Xiphos- Always amusingly angry, hope you manage to stay away from gunfire in 2011.
  • Koutch- Nuttier than snickers. Still, I’m waiting for the CNN headline “morbidly obese man slaughters cubicle buddies in Middle America”. Look forward to your next dismal comedy review.
  • Jonah- Hope PCN picks up, have fun at sundance.
  • Kloipy- Best to the kloip-ling. 2 Jobs is just greedy!
  • Wolf- Nobody more knowledgeable on old school British films. Great to have you around and if you ever make it to civilisation then we’ll get you hammered.
  • Bronco- Crazy as all hell- careful with twitter.
  • Barfy- Queen of the blogosphere.
  • Conti- I’m mortally scarred by your last challenge- but thanks for the many top class recommendations: I’m looking forward to the Italian cop stuff. Still, Thundercrak! damaged me.
  • Fishy- Leaving aside bust gags, always great to have someone else that watches Misfits.
  • Spud- The angriest potato spawned in the Midlands, great to have you on board.
  • TKD- missed you man, keep rufus off the pop.
  • Morbius- Haven’t seen you in a while, always amusing.
  • Pillows- Hope all goes well in 2011, and Mrs. Pillows doesn’t inflict too much crap on you. Bastard.
  • Blitz- Again, hope the job shit stabilises. 2011 will be better.
  • DocP- I’m repeating myself a lot here, erudite and funny- great to have you.
  • To the missing Changians- Mavra, Milf etc- hope to see you in 2011.

To Don Murphy: You are a fat sack of shit, and I hope you look back on your performance over Splice with a bit of embarrassment. However, if you feel no shame, then I hope you get obesity induced diabetes means you have to get your left leg lopped off. Fat cunt.

If I’ve missed anyone- really fucking sorry (I’m a bit pissed).

Anyhow, that’s as festive as I get and Mrs Jarv is inflicting Mariah fucking Carey on me at the moment, so with that:

Ho Ho Ho.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope Santa’s nice to everyone, and that 2011 kicks some fucking ass, I also look forward to everyone’s continued outstanding effort in helping me to avoid work.

Festive Spirit and all that.

Jarv.

Tags: ,

About Jarv

Workshy cynic, given to posting reams of nonsense on the internet and watching films that have inexplicably got a piss poor reputation.

11 responses to “Merry Christmas”

  1. MORBIUS says :

    Thanks Jarv,

    Merry Christmas / Happy Boxing Day,

    Looking forward to more of your cuntingly stellar
    reviews in 2011.

    Wassail…

  2. ThereWolf says :

    “make it to civilisation…” Cheeky twat. I don’t need any help getting hammered.

    All the Best for Christmas & New Year, Jarvis!

  3. Droid says :

    Well that’s a lovely way to wish me a merry christmas after I went out of my way all year to be friendly and charming. I hope you find a big lump of coal in your stocking. Ingrate.

  4. Continentalop says :

    Merry Cuntmas Jarv. May all of your Orangutans be the kind who are not double poking their eyes out and may your Thundercrack! flashbacks disappear during 2011 (doubtful).

  5. Xiphos0311 says :

    Right back at ya Jarv.

  6. redfishybluefishy says :

    Merry Christmas, Jarv! All the best. May 2011 be filled with even MORE gratuitous boob than usual. 🙂

  7. kloipy says :

    Merry Christmas my crazy friends!

  8. Tom_Bando says :

    I think I’m in that list above somewheres…flings A*P*E* poo at Triple Chins in celebration of the season just in case.

  9. DocPazuzu says :

    Looks like someone’s been to PornBay… heh

    Happy Holidays, you magnificent bastards, you!

    And don’t forget: Alastair Sim IS Scrooge! Accept no substitutes…

    Damn you, malevolent eggnog….

  10. Spud McSpud says :

    Huzzah!! Be they profane, religious or secular, drunken or austere, may all of the WOTMers have a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

    Wow. I’m a poet and I didn’t know it…

    Have a good one, send off this shitty year in some fine style, and I’ll be back for the fantastic chat, absorbing reviews, pint-size stabbery and unparalleled online critical evisceration in 2011!!

    It’s a fucking pleasure knowing you all. Stay safe, and make merry!! 😀

  11. Xiphos0311 says :

    Jarv is the picture you used supposed to be Blitz, Fishy and Barfy?

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