Moonwolves Presents Drunken Cinema: Number 1- The Pit

Huzzah! Welcome to the first Drunken Cinema.

This is how it works, periodically we will select a film of dubious artistic quality, and get completely and utterly shitfaced while watching it, commenting as we do so. Think MST3K  but with less Americans, worse films, and more alcohol.

First up, is the underrated (ha!) Early 80’s classic: The Pit.

I reviewed this absolutely ages ago here (quite spoilery, consider yourselves warned) and really quite enjoyed it. It is a fundamentally terrible film, sure, but it does have a lot of charm, killer teddy bears and an autistic kid.

So, with no further ado, let the boozing commnence.

Film starts at 9PM.

Bring your own liver.


*next morning*

Christ I feel ill. Anyway, I’ve got to rate this film now, and in the spirit of good fun, I’ll try to do it honestly.

The Pit is a fundamentally terrible film that is hilarious in its utter wrongness. I originally gave it some Changs (because I did quite enjoy it), whereas on second viewing without weed it is much worse and much crazier. It’s clearly not an Orangutan of Doom candidate, because it’s fucking loopy so it’s time to unveil the new rating for batshit insanity on screen: The Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez of Med Skipping Lunacy!!! To be used for films that are completely insane:

The Ramirez of Insanity!

Gotta love that.

Next time up is the even crazier but vastly more entertaining Lifeforce. I dunno when though.

The Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez of Doom!!!

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About Jarv

Workshy cynic, given to posting reams of nonsense on the internet and watching films that have inexplicably got a piss poor reputation.

304 responses to “Moonwolves Presents Drunken Cinema: Number 1- The Pit”

  1. Jarv says :

    Fuck it.

    Knew we should have done Lifeforce.

    Epic shite,. And I enjoyed it much less this time, because I’m undrug assisted.

  2. Bartleby says :

    Huzzah! Wow, what’s next? I feel like that was a warm-up.

  3. Droid says :

    Thank fuck that’s over. Jarv I hate you.

  4. Bartleby says :

    Yea me too. Wish we had done Prophecy. That one is actually fun while you are watching it.

  5. Bartleby says :

    Sorry Droid,. This one was my suggestion. I was thinking it was less rapey than it actually was

  6. ThereWolf says :

    What’s next?

    Feel like I need a bath.

  7. Droid says :

    On a brighter note, I’m quite pissed. And still making sense (i hope).

  8. Bartleby says :

    Really should have been called The Pit and the Perv

  9. Bartleby says :

    Are we gonna orang of doom this sucker?

  10. Droid says :

    This would get the Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez of Doom for being astronomically shit, but mildly entertaining.

  11. Jarv says :

    I move for Lifeforce next.

    If we’re doing stupid, then nothing is dumber and more awesome than that.

    That was far less amsuing on second watch.

    Troll 2- I suspect will be worse.

    Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but my suggetions for this stufidity are:

    Deadley Prey
    Split Second
    First Power

  12. Droid says :

    Haven’t seen lifeforce, but the rest are awesome.

  13. Droid says :

    I can’t believe we lost Frankie to Bring It On.

  14. Droid says :

    Can I just say…

    pistachio’s are AWESOME!!!

  15. Droid says :

    I think I might shoot some 13 year old american kids in the head with Call of Duty.

  16. Bartleby says :

    wait, he wasnt hammered while this was happening

  17. Bartleby says :

    Lifeforce is a fun movie for sure. And I think it should totally be the next one. Especially if Droid hasn’t seen it.

    Jarv, what about Metastorm: The Destruction of Jared Synn? You see that one?

    Or, hell, Sword and the Sorcerer…

  18. ThereWolf says :

    What happened to LB – I thought he was tuning in to this as well?

  19. Franklin T Marmoset says :



    Hey, what the hell, man. Where did everyone go?

  20. ThereWolf says :

    Lifeforce is minty. I’ve got the ‘directorial cut’ on DVD.

    • Jarv says :

      There’s a directors cut?

      I have to own this.

      Honestly, my life won’t be complete until I’ve seen the directors cut of lifeforce.

      • ThereWolf says :

        Not so much a ‘directors cut’ – more just an extended version, by 15 minutes.

        I got it on Region1 DVD. Don’t think the extended version is on R2…

  21. ThereWolf says :

    Amityville Horror is boring. I can’t watch anymore of that.

  22. Bartleby says :

    Just put a short film a director sent me in the PS3. called worm.

    Its this one:

  23. Jarv says :

    I think you should watch Thundercrack!

    If not,

    then. I would go for some utter crap- Spit Second (for example) or The Convent are always reliable.

    If you want something sleazier- Werewolf in a Women’s Prison.

  24. Droid says :

    Jarv, hows Beaches? hehe

  25. Droid says :

    Elm St Update

    Acquiring Dream Warriors. Coming up on 4 out of 9. Just have to watch em now.

  26. Bartleby says :

    For the record, I had seen Thundercrack (like Conti) prior to your foolhardy antics. I pleaded with you not to watch it, but the power of cack compelled you.

    I even tried to dissuade you while watching it. I still remember your haunting words “The guy looks rohynoled and this other bloke is just pounding away at him” or something to that effect.

  27. Droid says :

    Random thought… Has anyone sat through that Lohan stripper movie? I think I know who killed me or whatever its called.

    Thats gotta be gold, surely.

    • Bartleby says :

      no, alas..its just awful.

      ok, I think Ive got the lineup:

      First off, it’s The Leopard Man, per Conti’s (real) suggestion…

      then it’s Peeping Tom crica Jarv’s suggestion..

      and then, who knows. I got a thing here called ‘Gorehouse Greats’ which has a number of potential ‘gems’ on it.

      Im leaning heavily towards watching Nakijima, some asian vampire nonsense.

      Right now,Im watching walking dead.

    • Jarv says :

      I have. It isn’t.

      It’s really, really boring.

  28. Bartleby says :

    Walking Dead ep 1. The first one airs here sunday night.

    So, I watched saw 3d last night after tron footage, and it was worthless. The biggest wtf was bringing back Cary Elwes from the first movie as a survivor.

  29. Continentalop says :

    May I recommend something for Drunk Cinema?

  30. Jarv says :

    Just done the edit for this- rated with the brand new, shiny RAMIREZ OF INSANITY!!!

  31. Droid says :

    RAMIREZ OF INSANITY! That’s funny.

    I’m about to embark on another stupid mission. Watching all 9 Nightmare on Elm St movies in a weekend. Wish me luck! I’ll need it!

  32. Jarv says :

    All 9? Inculding the remake?


  33. Droid says :

    What the fuck is going on here? Nearly half way through Elm St 2 and Freddy’s been sighted about twice!? Fucking crap about some kids air conditioning and his coach’s S&M fetish. This is fucking shit.

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