The Underrated: Eden Lake

This is a special bonus Underrated, as I watched this film last night and still feel a bit traumatised by it. When Eden Lake was released in the summer of 2008, I have to admit that I took one look at the Empire review (which is glowing) and one look at the plot synopsis and instantly thought “pass”. This was both a lucky escape and a stupid mistake. Lucky, because I don’t think that this would be an easy film to cope with on the big screen (and I’m really not joking about that), and stupid because Eden Lake is comfortably the second best British Horror film of the last decade. It doesn’t touch the Descent, which it owes a lot to, but it is a nasty, visceral little film that rooted me to my seat, but also manages to cram an impressive amount of social commentary into what is essentially a genre film.

Meet Jenny and Steve,  as mild-mannered a middle class couple that you would ever meet. She’s a primary school teacher, and he’s a dickhead. He makes the terrible call to take them camping to a filled in quarry because this is the last time anyone can go there before it is built on (sound familiar?). As soon as Steve makes this decision, he’s broken Jarv’s golden rule of Horror films: Don’t go camping. They are basically a nice couple off for a romantic weekend, and the film charts the disastrous consequences of an encounter with the local chav vermin.

Eden Lake is not a particularly well written film. Steve, in particular, comes off as a complete dickhead and he had countless chances to avoid the disaster. Jenny, actually, urges him on several occasions to make what would be a life saving decision, but he keeps getting into ludicrous face-offs with the hoodie brigade. He is, actually, quite well drawn in that I found it very easy to believe that an overly macho nobhead such as this would keep trying to face the kids down. However, in terms of narrative, essentially the first half of the film is driven through him being stupid. This is never good. Personally, if it was me and I was camping on a deserted beach and a group of Chav scum, complete with Rottweiler, pitched up then I’d be heading back to the city asa-fucking-p. Seriously, you wouldn’t see me for tyre smoke.

Nevertheless, leaving that aside and also the odd piece of middle-class trying to write working-class language (since when do British Chav’s call prison “The Pen”?), there is a horrible air of verisimilitude to the script. The chav gang are all realistically drawn, and the use of a mobile phone to film proceedings could have come straight from the front pages. There are also nice pieces of foreshadowing done in the first hour and clever little bits of character insight. Steve may be a cock, but he really doesn’t deserve what happens to him, and Jenny certainly doesn’t.

This is an outstanding, albeit flawed, film. Fassbender is excellent as the dickhead, and Kelly Reilly is superb as the tormented Jenny, This is England’s Thomas Turgoose is touching as Cooper, but the real star of the piece is Jack O’Connell as the psychotic Brett. This is a frightening turn from the teenager, and his dementedly thuggish persona shows that we’ve managed to unearth another potential great cinema nasty. There’s a scene in Eden Lake towards the end that reminded me of Paul Bettany’s turn in Gangster Number 1 (it is stylistically lifted straight from that film) when the camera shows the victim’s point of view and is both grisly and harrowing. It’s a great turn.

To talk about Eden Lake means that I have to talk about violence in Cinema, and particularly torture porn. This is a film that contains some of the most harrowing violence that I’ve seen in a long time. There’s a sequence with a Stanley knife two thirds of the way through that is truly stomach turning. However, Eden Lake is not Torture Porn. The violence here always has a physical response from the characters (Jenny throws up, for example), and the point of this film is that violence is fucking horrible. You’re not meant to revel in it. Furthermore, unlike Torture Porn, we do care about the characters, and the scenes of extreme pain (there are a few) aren’t for titillation. This is genuinely frightening stuff- particularly because there is no feeling that any character is safe. If you must (Eli Roth take note) do extreme violence in a film, then for the love of the flying spaghetti monster do it for a purpose. Here it is both integral to the narrative (the Chav’s know they’ve fucked up badly and need to cover up), character (this is about revenge that has got completely out of hand) and also re-emphasising the point that violence is downright unpleasant.

Which brings me round to the direction. Watching Eden Lake is almost like playing a game of “where have I seen that before”. It borrows heavily from The Descent (lots of aerial shots over the forest), Deliverance (duh) and from a host of other films. The director, James Watkins (who went on to heavily blot his copybook by penning the unforgivable sequel to the Descent) has a good eye for what to be influenced by, and makes the correct decision to steal from excellent films. Furthermore, he clearly also understands that for these types of films to be effective then you have to establish an air of menace, and this is a film that seeps with venom. The sequence at breakfast in the town where the waitress looks at Steve and says “not my kids” looks minor but thickens the atmosphere of the film. Steve and Jenny are very much invading somewhere they shouldn’t be, Steve ignores it, but Jenny knows it. The film is full of little touches like this (the slapped kid in the pub)- they’re middle class twats in a working class area and if they behave with a sense of entitlement then bad things will happen.

Finally, nothing will prepare you for the end of this film, you may be able to see it coming, but that won’t help. Fuck me.

Overall, this is an outstanding film. It’s gripping, scary and all too realistic. It has characters that we can believe in, in a situation that is highly plausible. The feral youths of Eden Lake do populate many of our soulless northern towns and cities, and there are stories almost every day of incidents that could well have come from Eden Lake in our papers (don’t believe me? Google Happy Slapping). This is an intense and realistic film, and not one to watch while eating.

If you’ve got the stomach for it, search it out. Koutch in particular will fucking love it.

Until next time,


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About Jarv

Workshy cynic, given to posting reams of nonsense on the internet and watching films that have inexplicably got a piss poor reputation.

122 responses to “The Underrated: Eden Lake”

  1. Continentalop says :

    Never heard of this movie. Have to check it out.

    BTW – regarding “happy slapping”, you ever see the video were the dipshits make the mistake of Happy Slapping a boxer’s gf?

    • Jarv says :

      No, but I’m going to find it.

      There are a few here that I honestly think are based on real incidents. I could spoil, but won’t.

      Horrible stuff. Fucking Chav cunts.

      • Continentalop says :

        See. Harry. Brown.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s meant to be coming. I’ve taken almost all the schlock off the lovefilm list (god bless the internets), so it should be here soon.

        Looking forward to that one.

      • spud mcspud says :

        Conti’s right – I haven’t seen this, but HARRY BROWN is harrowing stuff, straight from the nightmares of a DAILY MAIL reader. And as one who resides in a not-so-great part of the East Midlands, I know these people exist. A few live a few streets away. And Jack O’Connell is from the same city as me. He’s great in HARRY BROWN also…

        I generally avoid these movies, as they just make me dwell on the kind of nasty shit that happens all too often these days. That said, I’ll give this a view, mainly because your review has hooked me in.

        As always, great review. And how fucking shite was the footy today?? Fucking England footballers. Maybe if they gave more of a shit for the game and less of a shit about the money, women and lifeastyle, they’d actually be able to play worth a damn. Shysters…

  2. Jarv says :

    It was surprisingly good, and completely hijacked my review schedule. I wanted to write this while it was still relatively fresh.

    Mrs Jarv was completely traumatised by it.

    • Continentalop says :

      Chavs have become the Hillbillies and white trash of British cinema. The Brits seem to be coming up with some good movies that paint them as the villains.

      Normally, I hate stereotyping and simplifying things, but sometimes it represents a real criticism. From what I have read about Chavs, it is a culture that should be criticized.

      • Jarv says :

        Fucking horrible bastards is what they are. This lot here are fucking archetypical chav cunts.

        What’s really good, though, is that they perfectly draw the female chav. When Fassbender makes his first mistake to have a go at them she starts arguing with him then accuses him of “looking at her tits”. It’s fucking spot on- and you can’t really stand up to them, because they are prone to random acts of OTT rage.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s not so much a culture as an attitude.

        That sounds like a weird thing to say, because we’ve always had working class violence. It seems that as Football Hooliganism has declined they’ve spread out onto the streets.

        Eden Lake is funny, actually, because there’d be no Chavs anywhere near that place in reality. It’s too far from the concrete hell-holes. There may be lower class kids, but they wouldn’t be like this lot.

        Also, the other thing Eden Lake goes out of it’s way to do is to point the finger of blame for what the kids are like straight at the parents. Kudos for that- if you grow up in an environment like this one, you are on a one way trip to the slammer.

        There’s a really horrifying bit early on where Steve and Jenny are sitting in a Beer Garden and there’s an obnoxious screaming brat. Steve turns to Jenny and says (and we’ve all done this): “That kid needs a slap”. No sooner has the sentence passed his lips when the kids mother grabs the kid and fucking wallops it. In one brief scene the film manages to show that beating kids is not the right solution, and in this case it isn’t even particularly the kids fault- it shouldn’t be in a pub at that time of night, but the parent is a selfish fucker and puts her own wants before the child, and when the child behaves as a child she has no recourse but violence.

      • Continentalop says :

        You know, I think it is culture to a degree. There is a reason that those type of people always are in the same places. It is a repeating behavior perpetuated by the culture.

        When we were talking about white trash, it reminded me of that. I can’t remember the book or the author, but I remember reading this guys argument that inner city black culture is actually based on lower class southern whites, white trash. And he makes a very good point and kind of shows it isn’t racist to criticize it (he’s black).

        Of course, seeing how for hundreds of years people have been labeling blacks culturally inferior, I can see how they would be sensitive to that charge.

      • Jarv says :

        Sure, but what I meant is that it transcends class.

        I’m as middle classed as it comes, yet my sister with exactly the same upbringing is a fucking chav. We’ve nothing in common and she actually thinks Katie Price’s autobiography is good literature and that Katie Price is someone to aspire to being. She actively goes and buys tracksuits, drinks pints of lager and has a horrible estuary English accent.

        She also likes White Chicks.

        Hence why I haven’t talked to her in 4 years.

      • Continentalop says :

        If I had a sibling that liked White Chicks I would demand my parents disown him or her.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m nearly convinced that she’s adopted.

      • Continentalop says :

        Well if your sister looks like Katie Price, I can forgive her for liking White Chicks and wouldn’t mind you introducing me.

      • Droid says :

        Katie Price is fucking horrible.

      • Jarv says :

        She doesn’t.

        And she’d probably nick your wallet.

  3. Jarv says :

    Oh, and that isn’t a dig at Koutch. He will really enjoy this.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah I think we’ve all gathered I am the torture porn king around here. But I’ve honestly been looking forward to this, good to know it’s worth it.

      Also Droid pointed out triangle, funny I thought these were two movies I would’ve found on my own.

      • Continentalop says :

        I actually see you as the weird doc king. You seem to be one of the few people who still sees documentaries, and not just about big stuff.

      • Jarv says :

        There’s a long time before any actual violence Koutch- just be warned. About an hour in, I think.

        Still, Fassbender has his hands tied with barbed wire while the chavs take turns cutting him with a box-cutter.

        There’s plenty of painful stuff in it.

      • Droid says :

        Triangle isn’t torture porn. Not even close. It’s not even particularly gory. There are a few bloody moments here and there, but it’s mostly “psychological” horror.

      • Jarv says :

        This isn’t either. The violence is extreme when it comes, but there isn’t actually that much of it. There are 2 scenes that are heavy, but mostly it’s tension.

  4. Continentalop says :

    And here is the video I was talking about if you can’t find it:

  5. xiphos0311 says :

    Happy slapping isn’t that new except for the name, taping and internet part it’s always been around in some way. Maybe not as much but I remember douches doing stuff like that when I was kid and teenager.

    It’s still fucking retarded beyond all comprehension and they obviously target what they think are the weaker members of the herd but like Conti noted sometimes the fuckers make a very bad choice.

    Very well written review Jarv. When I get some time I will find this movie.

    • Jarv says :

      Cheers Xi.

      The more I’ve thought about this film, the better it has got. It’s definitely social commentary masquerading as exploitation.

      A very good film. I can’t believe Empire were right. Had to happen occasionally.

    • Jarv says :

      Oh, I know it isn’t new. It’s the taping it on a mobile phone bit that is relatively recent phenomena.

    • Continentalop says :

      Well I can’t really cast the first stone. I remember doing some asshole stuff when I was a kid like mailbox baseball, vandalism, minor theft and even beating up some pretty pathetic kids. I think every kid has done that, especially from a certain background.

      But of course, there is degrees. Calling a girl a slut and a gang rape are two widely different things – so is getting in a fight with someone vs. 10 guys jumping some one or sucker punching a chick.

      • Jarv says :

        Everyone has done scrotey things as a kid/ teenager. I remember deliberately setting fire to bins.

        However, there’s a world of difference between that minor scrotey shit and a group of bastards holding someone down, slapping the fuck out of them while some other bastard films it to put on youtube.

        Also, there’s an air of barely contained aggression about a lot of them now that there wasn’t when I was that age. If an adult, as happened here, came up to us and said “can you turn the music down a bit”, I’d have said sorry and turned the music down. I wouldn’t have turned it up then walked right up behind his girlfriend with my cock out.

      • Jarv says :

        Also, it was always (again as Steve notes here) boys being boys. It’s the amount of girls that are hyper-angry that you see that I find particularly odd.

        I don’t remember a single girl like the ones I see now.

      • Continentalop says :

        You know, I am sure a smart man (smarter than me, which wouldn’t be hard) could explain why Chavs act that way. I don’t think anything happens in a vacuum, not even culture or trends. To me there must be some sort of Darwinian Sociological reason, other wise it wouldn’t have lasted.

        If any behaviorist or sociologist are out there, I would welcome an explanation.

      • Jarv says :

        I can take a guess.

        I think it’s the rise of, for want of a better expression, benefit culture and the destruction of the education system.

        Back in the 50’s etc, the Working Class did actually work- albeit factories or whatever. Since then, the Grammar Schools were eradicated (destroyed social mobility) and a lot of the working class were rehoused in sink estates.

        The real unemployment rate (not the one quoted by our lying government) is absolutely huge, and there is a whole underclass that are dependent on Government handouts.

        If you are raised in this environment with a borderline alcoholic mother, 4 siblings each by a different father then you learn behaviour from your failing parent. There are a lot of people for who living on the dole is a lifestyle choice (particularly women, as having a kid guarantees you a council flat). Bright kids are housed in comprehensives with dim kids and all taught the same curriculum. It becomes impossible, and also undesirable, for the bright kid to show intelligence as the teacher just tends to leave them be and work harder either maintaining discipline or with the less bright that want to learn. The kid hides his intelligence to avoid being singled out, and the cycle will repeat itself.

        Once out of school, because they’ve underachieved and the apprentice system has been dismantled they then have fuck all in the way of prospects, so apathy and simmering anger at those that have sink in.

        This is really a case of the sins of the Baby Boomer generation coming home to roost.

        This is also a complete guess on my behalf, and I expect to be disproved by someone that knows more than me.

  6. xiphos0311 says :

    What amazes me is how stupid the internet has made everybody. Not a week goes by that I don’t read that some dumb fuck gets busted for putting a video up on the net doing a crime and the bronze find it.

    I was reading a newspaper article, I think in the Wall Street Journal, where police and federal agency’s are combing the internet more and more looking for videos posted showing crime. Way to go bozo it’s nice of you to pre-waive your fifth amendment rights against self incrimination so you be get “famous”. Truly mind boggling.

    It’s becoming more and more apparent that the internet makes people dumber.

  7. koutchboom says :

    Oh and speaking of under rated Dickblood has weighed in on Pandorum and he also agrees that it is awesome.

  8. Droid says :

    Good review but I’ll probably give this one a miss. Bit of a pussy that way.

    Plus I just subjected myself to my own version of torture porn… Red Sonja.

    • Jarv says :

      Fair enough. I did for over a year, and would have done, but Lovefilm randomly sent it instead of what they said they had sent.

    • Continentalop says :

      That isn’t even porn…just torture.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s better than Conan The Destroyer.

        Still, that isn’t saying much.

        Badly needs a remake. With Boobs, proper violence and an actress that can act while doing daft things.

        And no Conan.

      • Continentalop says :

        To bad Gina Carano has yet to prove she act or be a box office draw.

      • Droid says :

        To be honest, during the last 20 minutes I did have a few chuckles. It’s on par with Destroyer, but edges it out only because its thankfully 85 minutes long.

      • Jarv says :

        arnie v metal fish is better than anything in The Destroyer.

        Still, not saying much

      • Continentalop says :

        Shit. That movie is five minutes longer than Jonah Hex.

      • Droid says :

        Jonah Hex was written by the cunts who did Crank wasn’t it?

      • Continentalop says :

        I don’t know if “written” is the correct word.

      • Jarv says :

        This is not that violent. There are3 scenes in particular (the stanley knife, and the spike through the foot, Brett snapping) that are extremely fucking nasty. However, all the violence has a point.

        The first half of the film is setting the scene, character and building menace and the second half is basically a hunt.

        Having said that… Fuck me if I didn’t wince when the little kid took the Stanley Knife to the inside of Fassbenders mouth.

        It isn’t the most violent thing you’ll ever see, but when it comes it comes with a fucking express train.

        Not easy watching, and not cheery in the slightest. If you have a weak stomach, avoid.

    • Hawaiian Organ Donor says :

      I’m with you on this one Droid. As excellent as Jarv’s review is (the bastard really makes me want to watch it), I have the weakest stomach on the planet. If this is as grisly as Jarv makes it out to be, I’ll need smelling salts during the opening credits.

  9. Jarv says :

    The thing I’ve been impressed at in the last decade or so, is how may competent to excellent Horror movies we’re turning out- and they also aren’t just one genre, they cross a lot of them.

    It helps, obviously that Neil Marshall banged out 2, but still we’ve got a top notch Zombie film or 3, Werewolves, violence etc.

    I’m almost tempted to give Donkey Punch a shot.

  10. Droid says :

    Out of smokes. Fucking hell. I live too far from Sainsburys.

  11. xiphos0311 says :

    Pardon my ignorance but who is Katie Price?

    • Continentalop says :

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Is she a British porn chick or something like that?

      • Droid says :

        She was this pinup girl who became a chav princess when she married Peter Andre and shat out a bunch of retarded kids. The british press made her “someone”.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        OK I looked her up. She seems to one of those famous for being famous types with a nice rack. Very doable if you have money or connections.

      • Jarv says :

        She’s an ex-page three girl that has managed to make an obscene amount of money with no obvious talent and purely through massive fake tits.

        Her plastic surgery has got completely out of hand now.

        Actually, Katie Price herself is meant to be quite an intelligent woman. She’s famous for being “Jordan” a persona she invented purely to make money off her looks.

        The problem is that the lines have become blurred in the public eye and nowadays Katie Price and Jordan are one and the same.

      • Continentalop says :

        I really have no clue Xi other than she is some trollop who is famous for being famous.

        I guess she is the limey Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian, but I will admit she is good enough looking for me to take a ride – and then get immediately tested.

      • Jarv says :

        No, she was famous years before Andre.

        She basically became famous for leading “ladette” culture and fucking footballers.

        She’s got her own reality TV programme now and appears on anything that they’ll pay her to go on.

      • Jarv says :

        She is certainly NOT doable. Unless a shitload of plastic surgery and a twat you could park a fucking ocean liner in float your boat.

      • Droid says :

        Well, I only knew who she was around the time of the Andre marriage. Which probably corresponds to the time I first came over to this godforsaken rock.

      • Continentalop says :

        Well the picts I saw make her look like an ok night. But than again a lot of models, actresses, strippers and tranny prostitutes look good from a distance.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        I meant she is doable if you have money or connections. There is no way she’s spreading her legs and letting some regular Joe have a shot at her money maker.

      • Jarv says :

        You keep saying that. It isn’t as if you were forcibly transported here or anything.

        Bloody ingrate.

      • Droid says :

        She’s not doable unless you have a thing for sticking your nob in a bin bag filled with porridge.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        She’s only giving it up to people that can pay the freight or get her work or in the papers.

  12. xiphos0311 says :

    That Peter Andre seems like a real winner himself.

  13. Jarv says :

    Trust me. From a distance she looks OK. This is what she actually looks like:


  14. Jarv says :


    Jordan’s gargoyle like appearance has driven everyone away.

    Curse her.

    • Continentalop says :

      No, I was just being entertained by the comedy duo of Jarv & droid.

      • Jarv says :

        Well that’s alright then.

        Honestly, you try to write a sensible review about something that just happens to feature angry chavs and it gets hijacked by the self-proclaimed Queen of Chav’s.

        The self-proclaimed King of Chav’s is this fine Cunt gentleman :
        Mickey Carroll

      • xiphos0311 says :

        That’s a fine looking gentleman.

      • Droid says :

        Who’s that?

      • Jarv says :

        He’s a massive tosser called Mickey Carroll that won £18 million in the lottery and proceeded to fuck the lot away in under 10 years on Stella, impromptu stock car racing, legal fees, fighting dogs, legal fees, child support, legal fees, fines, legal fees, tacky gold, legal fees, police bail and legal fees.

        He is a complete and utter cunt. Really someone that did not deserve to win the lottery

    • xiphos0311 says :

      no i had to do a bit of work. The Bastards

  15. Continentalop says :

    Going to bed. Talk to you cats later.

  16. Droid says :

    Splice BO Update:

    Its currently sitting at about $15m.

    Eat shit, Murph.

    • Jarv says :

      Well, it needs 60 worldwide to break even.

      So, provided France don’t do with it what they did with the Descent 2 it should be fucked and Smurph will have to eat some ass.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Don’t you mean more ass?

      • Jarv says :

        Whoops my mistake.

        I’d almost like him to go through with that threat to beat me up. If cokey can take him, then I sure as fuck can.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Cokey had the cocaine psychosis on his side. Fat fucks like that can take some punishment becasue of the weight. The flip side is that he will get tired fast. Just back peddle until he starts gaging then move in.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        I’m assuming you don’t want to hurt him that bad right? If you do I have some other advice then.

      • Jarv says :

        I was going to distract him with a bacon sandwich and then break a 2×4 on his head.

        Also, cokeheads tend to tire fast.

        Maybe I need to get some speed.

      • Jarv says :

        Plan A does involve a lot of running away throwing foodstuffs in his path. True.

        Basically, it’s a win-win for me. If I get caned then I can (for the price of a moderate amount of pain) sue his fat ass into oblivion and press charges so he has to spend some time in a prison cell being arseraped by a guy called “bubba”.

        And if all 12 stone nothing of me wins, then he won’t do anything because it will be too embarrassing for him

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Yeah the bacon sandwich is a good tactic. Fat boy will fall for it.

    • Tom_Bando says :

      I’d suggest just send him to Almada w/ a 100 love-notes from the local Goat population, then sic the Giant Robot Lions(TM) on him.

      But the KFC Big Bucket(TM) lure is a good idea too-

  17. xiphos0311 says :

    it might be worth it to take a beating financially speaking.

    • Jarv says :

      That’s what I was thinking of.

      I’ve been on the receiving end of beatings and pain is temporary, chicks dig scars but Murphy’s settlement will last me a long time

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Ok new plan. invest in a good quality hand held camera that has good sound capabilities. Write a series of scathing articles about Murphy AND drop hints of where around London you will be.

        Have Mrs. Jarv carry the camera at all times. When fat ass catches up just go fetal and protect your kidney’s with your elbows. Make sure Mrs. Jarv screams loudly STOP STOP PLEASE! over and over.

        After the settlement you can holiday wherever you want after buying yourself a house.

  18. Jarv says :

    off to watch some football.

    Catch you later.

  19. M. Blitz says :

    Ehhhhhhh……I’m gonna watch this one this week. I need to see if it’ll irritate me as much as I suspect it will. 🙂

    What’s the origin of “Chav” anyway?

  20. lordbronco says :

    world cup schenanigans-kiwis pull stunning tie with Italy–France surrenders-again-mwhahaha

    • Droid says :

      The kiwis did very well. If this means helps Italy get dumped out of the tournament I’ll consider New Zealand the World Cup champions.

      France are complete and utter shit. Even worse than England.

  21. ThereWolf says :


    I saw the trailer some time ago and pretty much dismissed Eden Lake. Then a few months ago a couple of work colleagues watched the film and they both warned me off it, being sarcastic – “Eden Lake’s REALLY good…” and shaking their heads.

    I will confront them with this review tomorrow and ask that they explain themselves. I must say it does seem like an unlikely setting for chavs to hang around in.

    Excellent write-up, Jarv. I’m jealous.

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