The Underrated: Eden Lake
This is a special bonus Underrated, as I watched this film last night and still feel a bit traumatised by it. When Eden Lake was released in the summer of 2008, I have to admit that I took one look at the Empire review (which is glowing) and one look at the plot synopsis and instantly thought “pass”. This was both a lucky escape and a stupid mistake. Lucky, because I don’t think that this would be an easy film to cope with on the big screen (and I’m really not joking about that), and stupid because Eden Lake is comfortably the second best British Horror film of the last decade. It doesn’t touch the Descent, which it owes a lot to, but it is a nasty, visceral little film that rooted me to my seat, but also manages to cram an impressive amount of social commentary into what is essentially a genre film.
Meet Jenny and Steve, as mild-mannered a middle class couple that you would ever meet. She’s a primary school teacher, and he’s a dickhead. He makes the terrible call to take them camping to a filled in quarry because this is the last time anyone can go there before it is built on (sound familiar?). As soon as Steve makes this decision, he’s broken Jarv’s golden rule of Horror films: Don’t go camping. They are basically a nice couple off for a romantic weekend, and the film charts the disastrous consequences of an encounter with the local chav vermin.
Eden Lake is not a particularly well written film. Steve, in particular, comes off as a complete dickhead and he had countless chances to avoid the disaster. Jenny, actually, urges him on several occasions to make what would be a life saving decision, but he keeps getting into ludicrous face-offs with the hoodie brigade. He is, actually, quite well drawn in that I found it very easy to believe that an overly macho nobhead such as this would keep trying to face the kids down. However, in terms of narrative, essentially the first half of the film is driven through him being stupid. This is never good. Personally, if it was me and I was camping on a deserted beach and a group of Chav scum, complete with Rottweiler, pitched up then I’d be heading back to the city asa-fucking-p. Seriously, you wouldn’t see me for tyre smoke.
Nevertheless, leaving that aside and also the odd piece of middle-class trying to write working-class language (since when do British Chav’s call prison “The Pen”?), there is a horrible air of verisimilitude to the script. The chav gang are all realistically drawn, and the use of a mobile phone to film proceedings could have come straight from the front pages. There are also nice pieces of foreshadowing done in the first hour and clever little bits of character insight. Steve may be a cock, but he really doesn’t deserve what happens to him, and Jenny certainly doesn’t.
This is an outstanding, albeit flawed, film. Fassbender is excellent as the dickhead, and Kelly Reilly is superb as the tormented Jenny, This is England’s Thomas Turgoose is touching as Cooper, but the real star of the piece is Jack O’Connell as the psychotic Brett. This is a frightening turn from the teenager, and his dementedly thuggish persona shows that we’ve managed to unearth another potential great cinema nasty. There’s a scene in Eden Lake towards the end that reminded me of Paul Bettany’s turn in Gangster Number 1 (it is stylistically lifted straight from that film) when the camera shows the victim’s point of view and is both grisly and harrowing. It’s a great turn.
To talk about Eden Lake means that I have to talk about violence in Cinema, and particularly torture porn. This is a film that contains some of the most harrowing violence that I’ve seen in a long time. There’s a sequence with a Stanley knife two thirds of the way through that is truly stomach turning. However, Eden Lake is not Torture Porn. The violence here always has a physical response from the characters (Jenny throws up, for example), and the point of this film is that violence is fucking horrible. You’re not meant to revel in it. Furthermore, unlike Torture Porn, we do care about the characters, and the scenes of extreme pain (there are a few) aren’t for titillation. This is genuinely frightening stuff- particularly because there is no feeling that any character is safe. If you must (Eli Roth take note) do extreme violence in a film, then for the love of the flying spaghetti monster do it for a purpose. Here it is both integral to the narrative (the Chav’s know they’ve fucked up badly and need to cover up), character (this is about revenge that has got completely out of hand) and also re-emphasising the point that violence is downright unpleasant.
Which brings me round to the direction. Watching Eden Lake is almost like playing a game of “where have I seen that before”. It borrows heavily from The Descent (lots of aerial shots over the forest), Deliverance (duh) and from a host of other films. The director, James Watkins (who went on to heavily blot his copybook by penning the unforgivable sequel to the Descent) has a good eye for what to be influenced by, and makes the correct decision to steal from excellent films. Furthermore, he clearly also understands that for these types of films to be effective then you have to establish an air of menace, and this is a film that seeps with venom. The sequence at breakfast in the town where the waitress looks at Steve and says “not my kids” looks minor but thickens the atmosphere of the film. Steve and Jenny are very much invading somewhere they shouldn’t be, Steve ignores it, but Jenny knows it. The film is full of little touches like this (the slapped kid in the pub)- they’re middle class twats in a working class area and if they behave with a sense of entitlement then bad things will happen.
Finally, nothing will prepare you for the end of this film, you may be able to see it coming, but that won’t help. Fuck me.
Overall, this is an outstanding film. It’s gripping, scary and all too realistic. It has characters that we can believe in, in a situation that is highly plausible. The feral youths of Eden Lake do populate many of our soulless northern towns and cities, and there are stories almost every day of incidents that could well have come from Eden Lake in our papers (don’t believe me? Google Happy Slapping). This is an intense and realistic film, and not one to watch while eating.
If you’ve got the stomach for it, search it out. Koutch in particular will fucking love it.
Until next time,
Jarv
Never heard of this movie. Have to check it out.
BTW – regarding “happy slapping”, you ever see the video were the dipshits make the mistake of Happy Slapping a boxer’s gf?
No, but I’m going to find it.
There are a few here that I honestly think are based on real incidents. I could spoil, but won’t.
Horrible stuff. Fucking Chav cunts.
See. Harry. Brown.
It’s meant to be coming. I’ve taken almost all the schlock off the lovefilm list (god bless the internets), so it should be here soon.
Looking forward to that one.
Conti’s right – I haven’t seen this, but HARRY BROWN is harrowing stuff, straight from the nightmares of a DAILY MAIL reader. And as one who resides in a not-so-great part of the East Midlands, I know these people exist. A few live a few streets away. And Jack O’Connell is from the same city as me. He’s great in HARRY BROWN also…
I generally avoid these movies, as they just make me dwell on the kind of nasty shit that happens all too often these days. That said, I’ll give this a view, mainly because your review has hooked me in.
As always, great review. And how fucking shite was the footy today?? Fucking England footballers. Maybe if they gave more of a shit for the game and less of a shit about the money, women and lifeastyle, they’d actually be able to play worth a damn. Shysters…
It was surprisingly good, and completely hijacked my review schedule. I wanted to write this while it was still relatively fresh.
Mrs Jarv was completely traumatised by it.
Chavs have become the Hillbillies and white trash of British cinema. The Brits seem to be coming up with some good movies that paint them as the villains.
Normally, I hate stereotyping and simplifying things, but sometimes it represents a real criticism. From what I have read about Chavs, it is a culture that should be criticized.
Fucking horrible bastards is what they are. This lot here are fucking archetypical chav cunts.
What’s really good, though, is that they perfectly draw the female chav. When Fassbender makes his first mistake to have a go at them she starts arguing with him then accuses him of “looking at her tits”. It’s fucking spot on- and you can’t really stand up to them, because they are prone to random acts of OTT rage.
It’s not so much a culture as an attitude.
That sounds like a weird thing to say, because we’ve always had working class violence. It seems that as Football Hooliganism has declined they’ve spread out onto the streets.
Eden Lake is funny, actually, because there’d be no Chavs anywhere near that place in reality. It’s too far from the concrete hell-holes. There may be lower class kids, but they wouldn’t be like this lot.
Also, the other thing Eden Lake goes out of it’s way to do is to point the finger of blame for what the kids are like straight at the parents. Kudos for that- if you grow up in an environment like this one, you are on a one way trip to the slammer.
There’s a really horrifying bit early on where Steve and Jenny are sitting in a Beer Garden and there’s an obnoxious screaming brat. Steve turns to Jenny and says (and we’ve all done this): “That kid needs a slap”. No sooner has the sentence passed his lips when the kids mother grabs the kid and fucking wallops it. In one brief scene the film manages to show that beating kids is not the right solution, and in this case it isn’t even particularly the kids fault- it shouldn’t be in a pub at that time of night, but the parent is a selfish fucker and puts her own wants before the child, and when the child behaves as a child she has no recourse but violence.
You know, I think it is culture to a degree. There is a reason that those type of people always are in the same places. It is a repeating behavior perpetuated by the culture.
When we were talking about white trash, it reminded me of that. I can’t remember the book or the author, but I remember reading this guys argument that inner city black culture is actually based on lower class southern whites, white trash. And he makes a very good point and kind of shows it isn’t racist to criticize it (he’s black).
Of course, seeing how for hundreds of years people have been labeling blacks culturally inferior, I can see how they would be sensitive to that charge.
Sure, but what I meant is that it transcends class.
I’m as middle classed as it comes, yet my sister with exactly the same upbringing is a fucking chav. We’ve nothing in common and she actually thinks Katie Price’s autobiography is good literature and that Katie Price is someone to aspire to being. She actively goes and buys tracksuits, drinks pints of lager and has a horrible estuary English accent.
She also likes White Chicks.
Hence why I haven’t talked to her in 4 years.
If I had a sibling that liked White Chicks I would demand my parents disown him or her.
I’m nearly convinced that she’s adopted.
Well if your sister looks like Katie Price, I can forgive her for liking White Chicks and wouldn’t mind you introducing me.
Katie Price is fucking horrible.
She doesn’t.
And she’d probably nick your wallet.
Oh, and that isn’t a dig at Koutch. He will really enjoy this.
Yeah I think we’ve all gathered I am the torture porn king around here. But I’ve honestly been looking forward to this, good to know it’s worth it.
Also Droid pointed out triangle, funny I thought these were two movies I would’ve found on my own.
I actually see you as the weird doc king. You seem to be one of the few people who still sees documentaries, and not just about big stuff.
There’s a long time before any actual violence Koutch- just be warned. About an hour in, I think.
Still, Fassbender has his hands tied with barbed wire while the chavs take turns cutting him with a box-cutter.
There’s plenty of painful stuff in it.
Triangle isn’t torture porn. Not even close. It’s not even particularly gory. There are a few bloody moments here and there, but it’s mostly “psychological” horror.
This isn’t either. The violence is extreme when it comes, but there isn’t actually that much of it. There are 2 scenes that are heavy, but mostly it’s tension.
And here is the video I was talking about if you can’t find it:
Serves them right.
That is really funny.
Happy slapping isn’t that new except for the name, taping and internet part it’s always been around in some way. Maybe not as much but I remember douches doing stuff like that when I was kid and teenager.
It’s still fucking retarded beyond all comprehension and they obviously target what they think are the weaker members of the herd but like Conti noted sometimes the fuckers make a very bad choice.
Very well written review Jarv. When I get some time I will find this movie.
Cheers Xi.
The more I’ve thought about this film, the better it has got. It’s definitely social commentary masquerading as exploitation.
A very good film. I can’t believe Empire were right. Had to happen occasionally.
Oh, I know it isn’t new. It’s the taping it on a mobile phone bit that is relatively recent phenomena.
Well I can’t really cast the first stone. I remember doing some asshole stuff when I was a kid like mailbox baseball, vandalism, minor theft and even beating up some pretty pathetic kids. I think every kid has done that, especially from a certain background.
But of course, there is degrees. Calling a girl a slut and a gang rape are two widely different things – so is getting in a fight with someone vs. 10 guys jumping some one or sucker punching a chick.
Everyone has done scrotey things as a kid/ teenager. I remember deliberately setting fire to bins.
However, there’s a world of difference between that minor scrotey shit and a group of bastards holding someone down, slapping the fuck out of them while some other bastard films it to put on youtube.
Also, there’s an air of barely contained aggression about a lot of them now that there wasn’t when I was that age. If an adult, as happened here, came up to us and said “can you turn the music down a bit”, I’d have said sorry and turned the music down. I wouldn’t have turned it up then walked right up behind his girlfriend with my cock out.
Also, it was always (again as Steve notes here) boys being boys. It’s the amount of girls that are hyper-angry that you see that I find particularly odd.
I don’t remember a single girl like the ones I see now.
You know, I am sure a smart man (smarter than me, which wouldn’t be hard) could explain why Chavs act that way. I don’t think anything happens in a vacuum, not even culture or trends. To me there must be some sort of Darwinian Sociological reason, other wise it wouldn’t have lasted.
If any behaviorist or sociologist are out there, I would welcome an explanation.
I can take a guess.
I think it’s the rise of, for want of a better expression, benefit culture and the destruction of the education system.
Back in the 50’s etc, the Working Class did actually work- albeit factories or whatever. Since then, the Grammar Schools were eradicated (destroyed social mobility) and a lot of the working class were rehoused in sink estates.
The real unemployment rate (not the one quoted by our lying government) is absolutely huge, and there is a whole underclass that are dependent on Government handouts.
If you are raised in this environment with a borderline alcoholic mother, 4 siblings each by a different father then you learn behaviour from your failing parent. There are a lot of people for who living on the dole is a lifestyle choice (particularly women, as having a kid guarantees you a council flat). Bright kids are housed in comprehensives with dim kids and all taught the same curriculum. It becomes impossible, and also undesirable, for the bright kid to show intelligence as the teacher just tends to leave them be and work harder either maintaining discipline or with the less bright that want to learn. The kid hides his intelligence to avoid being singled out, and the cycle will repeat itself.
Once out of school, because they’ve underachieved and the apprentice system has been dismantled they then have fuck all in the way of prospects, so apathy and simmering anger at those that have sink in.
This is really a case of the sins of the Baby Boomer generation coming home to roost.
This is also a complete guess on my behalf, and I expect to be disproved by someone that knows more than me.
What amazes me is how stupid the internet has made everybody. Not a week goes by that I don’t read that some dumb fuck gets busted for putting a video up on the net doing a crime and the bronze find it.
I was reading a newspaper article, I think in the Wall Street Journal, where police and federal agency’s are combing the internet more and more looking for videos posted showing crime. Way to go bozo it’s nice of you to pre-waive your fifth amendment rights against self incrimination so you be get “famous”. Truly mind boggling.
It’s becoming more and more apparent that the internet makes people dumber.
I don’t think the internet makes people any dumber….just gives them a bigger chance to prove it.
Before you only had a village idiot, now we get the global village idiot.
Hehehe
Global Village idiot.
Funny.
And true.
I think JettL1993 is proof of that.
Oh and speaking of under rated Dickblood has weighed in on Pandorum and he also agrees that it is awesome.
Good review but I’ll probably give this one a miss. Bit of a pussy that way.
Plus I just subjected myself to my own version of torture porn… Red Sonja.
Fair enough. I did for over a year, and would have done, but Lovefilm randomly sent it instead of what they said they had sent.
That isn’t even porn…just torture.
It’s better than Conan The Destroyer.
Still, that isn’t saying much.
Badly needs a remake. With Boobs, proper violence and an actress that can act while doing daft things.
And no Conan.
To bad Gina Carano has yet to prove she act or be a box office draw.
To be honest, during the last 20 minutes I did have a few chuckles. It’s on par with Destroyer, but edges it out only because its thankfully 85 minutes long.
arnie v metal fish is better than anything in The Destroyer.
Still, not saying much
Shit. That movie is five minutes longer than Jonah Hex.
Jonah Hex was written by the cunts who did Crank wasn’t it?
I don’t know if “written” is the correct word.
This is not that violent. There are3 scenes in particular (the stanley knife, and the spike through the foot, Brett snapping) that are extremely fucking nasty. However, all the violence has a point.
The first half of the film is setting the scene, character and building menace and the second half is basically a hunt.
Having said that… Fuck me if I didn’t wince when the little kid took the Stanley Knife to the inside of Fassbenders mouth.
It isn’t the most violent thing you’ll ever see, but when it comes it comes with a fucking express train.
Not easy watching, and not cheery in the slightest. If you have a weak stomach, avoid.
I’m with you on this one Droid. As excellent as Jarv’s review is (the bastard really makes me want to watch it), I have the weakest stomach on the planet. If this is as grisly as Jarv makes it out to be, I’ll need smelling salts during the opening credits.
The thing I’ve been impressed at in the last decade or so, is how may competent to excellent Horror movies we’re turning out- and they also aren’t just one genre, they cross a lot of them.
It helps, obviously that Neil Marshall banged out 2, but still we’ve got a top notch Zombie film or 3, Werewolves, violence etc.
I’m almost tempted to give Donkey Punch a shot.
Out of smokes. Fucking hell. I live too far from Sainsburys.
That’s a disaster when that happens. Have you not got a corner shop nearby?
Corner shops the same distance as Sainsburys. It’s actually only a few minutes away, but I’m a fucking lazy bastard.
Pardon my ignorance but who is Katie Price?
Is she a British porn chick or something like that?
She was this pinup girl who became a chav princess when she married Peter Andre and shat out a bunch of retarded kids. The british press made her “someone”.
OK I looked her up. She seems to one of those famous for being famous types with a nice rack. Very doable if you have money or connections.
She’s an ex-page three girl that has managed to make an obscene amount of money with no obvious talent and purely through massive fake tits.
Her plastic surgery has got completely out of hand now.
Actually, Katie Price herself is meant to be quite an intelligent woman. She’s famous for being “Jordan” a persona she invented purely to make money off her looks.
The problem is that the lines have become blurred in the public eye and nowadays Katie Price and Jordan are one and the same.
I really have no clue Xi other than she is some trollop who is famous for being famous.
I guess she is the limey Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian, but I will admit she is good enough looking for me to take a ride – and then get immediately tested.
No, she was famous years before Andre.
She basically became famous for leading “ladette” culture and fucking footballers.
She’s got her own reality TV programme now and appears on anything that they’ll pay her to go on.
She is certainly NOT doable. Unless a shitload of plastic surgery and a twat you could park a fucking ocean liner in float your boat.
Well, I only knew who she was around the time of the Andre marriage. Which probably corresponds to the time I first came over to this godforsaken rock.
Well the picts I saw make her look like an ok night. But than again a lot of models, actresses, strippers and tranny prostitutes look good from a distance.
I meant she is doable if you have money or connections. There is no way she’s spreading her legs and letting some regular Joe have a shot at her money maker.
You keep saying that. It isn’t as if you were forcibly transported here or anything.
Bloody ingrate.
She’s not doable unless you have a thing for sticking your nob in a bin bag filled with porridge.
She’s only giving it up to people that can pay the freight or get her work or in the papers.
That Peter Andre seems like a real winner himself.
Actually, who the fuck is Peter Andre?
Untallented ex Australian cunt who we managed to get rid of.
He’s a whinging Aussie cunt that had a hit in the 90’s and won’t bugger off back to prison.
Much like Droid, except with less musical talent.
Bugger off with the “ex-Australian” He’s as Aussie as String Vests, Hats with Corks on them and shit beer.
Fuck off. He’s yours now. You own him. Just like Rolf Harris.
Thank christ for England.
Finally some gratitude.
Although I’d rather you carried on being ungrateful and took both the cunts back. And Danni Minogue too.
I met him years ago, and he’s a complete fucknuckle.
It wouldn’t be very nice if we took back all the UK’s adopted treasures now would it?
Anyway, we have enough cunts on the dole back home without an influx of ex-pats.
How about I draw up a list that you can have?
I can guess the first name…
1. Droid
Actually, I wasn’t going to put you on it.
Hmph. My good nature is being slandered here.
Again.
Trust me. From a distance she looks OK. This is what she actually looks like:
Well, I was going to say something derogatory, but than I thought “Hey, I’ve been with worse. A lot worse.”
We all have. They aren’t famous though
And I should really be honest and say I’m sure the women I was with woke up the next day full of regrets.
Looks less tranny like with the brown hair.
There is something about blonde and red hair that does scream “tranny.”
There’s also something about the conan-like jawline.
and that’s quite a flattering picture.
Still- note the drag queen visage.
Note the thighs. Kept tightly together to keep the bollocks tucked.
Ha!
Funniest thing I’ve read in ages that.
Pah
Jordan’s gargoyle like appearance has driven everyone away.
Curse her.
No, I was just being entertained by the comedy duo of Jarv & droid.
Well that’s alright then.
Honestly, you try to write a sensible review about something that just happens to feature angry chavs and it gets hijacked by the self-proclaimed Queen of Chav’s.
The self-proclaimed King of Chav’s is this fine

Cuntgentleman :That’s a fine looking gentleman.
Who’s that?
He’s a massive tosser called Mickey Carroll that won £18 million in the lottery and proceeded to fuck the lot away in under 10 years on Stella, impromptu stock car racing, legal fees, fighting dogs, legal fees, child support, legal fees, fines, legal fees, tacky gold, legal fees, police bail and legal fees.
He is a complete and utter cunt. Really someone that did not deserve to win the lottery
no i had to do a bit of work. The Bastards
Sent you a message.
replied
Going to bed. Talk to you cats later.
Ciao
Splice BO Update:
Its currently sitting at about $15m.
Eat shit, Murph.
Well, it needs 60 worldwide to break even.
So, provided France don’t do with it what they did with the Descent 2 it should be fucked and Smurph will have to eat some ass.
Don’t you mean more ass?
Whoops my mistake.
I’d almost like him to go through with that threat to beat me up. If cokey can take him, then I sure as fuck can.
Cokey had the cocaine psychosis on his side. Fat fucks like that can take some punishment becasue of the weight. The flip side is that he will get tired fast. Just back peddle until he starts gaging then move in.
I’m assuming you don’t want to hurt him that bad right? If you do I have some other advice then.
I was going to distract him with a bacon sandwich and then break a 2×4 on his head.
Also, cokeheads tend to tire fast.
Maybe I need to get some speed.
Plan A does involve a lot of running away throwing foodstuffs in his path. True.
Basically, it’s a win-win for me. If I get caned then I can (for the price of a moderate amount of pain) sue his fat ass into oblivion and press charges so he has to spend some time in a prison cell being arseraped by a guy called “bubba”.
And if all 12 stone nothing of me wins, then he won’t do anything because it will be too embarrassing for him
Yeah the bacon sandwich is a good tactic. Fat boy will fall for it.
I’d suggest just send him to Almada w/ a 100 love-notes from the local Goat population, then sic the Giant Robot Lions(TM) on him.
But the KFC Big Bucket(TM) lure is a good idea too-
it might be worth it to take a beating financially speaking.
That’s what I was thinking of.
I’ve been on the receiving end of beatings and pain is temporary, chicks dig scars but Murphy’s settlement will last me a long time
Ok new plan. invest in a good quality hand held camera that has good sound capabilities. Write a series of scathing articles about Murphy AND drop hints of where around London you will be.
Have Mrs. Jarv carry the camera at all times. When fat ass catches up just go fetal and protect your kidney’s with your elbows. Make sure Mrs. Jarv screams loudly STOP STOP PLEASE! over and over.
After the settlement you can holiday wherever you want after buying yourself a house.
off to watch some football.
Catch you later.
yeah my duty tour is almost over so off to bed for me.
Ehhhhhhh……I’m gonna watch this one this week. I need to see if it’ll irritate me as much as I suspect it will. 🙂
What’s the origin of “Chav” anyway?
I know-it sounds like a name…never even heard of the buggers before…
It’s an acronym off court papers= Council Housed And Violent.
world cup schenanigans-kiwis pull stunning tie with Italy–France surrenders-again-mwhahaha
The kiwis did very well. If this means helps Italy get dumped out of the tournament I’ll consider New Zealand the World Cup champions.
France are complete and utter shit. Even worse than England.
Hmmm…
I saw the trailer some time ago and pretty much dismissed Eden Lake. Then a few months ago a couple of work colleagues watched the film and they both warned me off it, being sarcastic – “Eden Lake’s REALLY good…” and shaking their heads.
I will confront them with this review tomorrow and ask that they explain themselves. I must say it does seem like an unlikely setting for chavs to hang around in.
Excellent write-up, Jarv. I’m jealous.