CONTINENTALOP vs XIPHOS in the BATTLE ROYALE of MOVIE FIGHT SCENES Round 2

Continentalop here, to welcome you to the second half of Continentalop vs Xiphos in the Battle Royale of Movie Fight Scenes. So far I will give Xi credit – he hasn’t completely embarrassed himself with his picks yet. But this is where we separate the men from the boys.

If you are squeamish at the sight of blood, you might want to leave the room as we each present our top five picks.

*****

Xiphos: Conti, is that boys or “bois”? Not that there is anything wrong with that.

*****

Conti’s #5. Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes vs. a bare knuckle boxer)

In the books Holmes studied Baritsu, a misspelling of Bartitsu, a hybrid martial art that developed in 1900 that used techniques from English Boxing, French Savate, Swiss Schwingen wrestling, and Japanese Judo and Jujitsu.  Guy Ritchie and the fight coordinators have done a great job of combining aspects from all those disciplines to create a fighting style for Holmes that feels authentic to the era but also exciting as hell to watch.

But what makes this scene truly great is it shows how the main character, Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downing Jr), approaches a fight.  He is a chess player, thinking about what moves to make in advance. While most fight scenes are just that, only fight scenes, this one also serves to reveal something about the character.

*****

Xiphos’ #5. The Warriors (1978): (The Warriors vs. the Baseball Furies)

Thank you Walter Hill and for that matter John Carpenter and grudgingly The Beard. You guys made the movies of my adolescence and teen years. I saw The Warriors when it came out in ‘79 at a drive in that’s gone now. That’s how you see a movie like this, in the car, at the drive in. I was 10 years old and absolutely transfixed by what I saw on the screen. Hill created a world I would have given anything to inhabit the highly stylized gangland of the preDisneyfied and yuppified New York City of the 1970’s. Jesus Christ on a crutch, this is a great movie and when Ajax utters the famous line “Well, good! I’m tired from runnin’ from these wimps!” and starts beating the Baseball Furies like a rented mule, I can’t help but smile. Fucking Ajax is the MAN! But Swan is just as dangerous or maybe even more so since he can plan and has some self-control. Nobody can say that this fight scene is anything but fan-fucking-tastic.

*****

*****

Conti’s #4. Eastern Promises (Nikolai vs. the Chechens)

Brutal, just brutal. This scene shows us just how damn dangerous knives are and to make matters worse, poor Viggo being naked makes him seem even more vulnerable as all we can see is bare flesh waiting to be cut. This is one of the few fight scenes that actual makes people squirm watching it and a lot of credit for that has to go to director David Cronenberg’s mastery of “body horror.”

*****

Xiphos’ #4. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981): (Indy vs. the Bald Nazi)

Sure this is an entirely nostalgic pick on my part because I love Raiders (fuck all that noise about calling it Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, it’s Raiders god damn it! Fuck off Neck) When the big bald Nazi catches a glimpse of Indy punching out the pilot and the look he gets on his face is scary and priceless. When they go its pretty damn impressive the amount of abuse Indy absorbs from the bald guy, that is until the scales get evened out by the airplane’s propeller. You have to respect Indy for even being willing to stand toe to toe with that monster and his obvious relish and skill for bare knuckle fighting.

*****

*****

Conti’s #3. Way of the Dragon (Tang Lung, the Dragon vs Colt)

Bruce “The Dragon” Lee vs. Chuck “Total Gym” Norris. It is a Clash of Titans, like Godzilla vs King Kong or Hercules vs Thor. Ignore the bad Kung Fu Theatre sound effects and whacked out camera zooms (and what the hell is the deal with the cat? Did Fulci direct this?) and just focus on the fight itself. This one is a classic showdown, like in Westerns and Samurai films, with a build up and an emphasis on the rituals of the duel (this is the closest to a Sergio Leone style Kung Fu fight that you’ll ever find).  And despite all the dramatic kicks and punches, the fight ends with a guillotine choke hold, proving that Lee understood the importance of grappling.

One final note: this fight scene might be the best reason for why men should shave their chest.

*****

Xiphos’ #3. Gangs of New York (2002): (Natives vs. Dead Rabbits)

Martin Scorsese’s highly fictionalized retelling of the book of the same name had one of the most brutal gang fight scenes ever filmed, The Natives vs. the Dead Rabbits. Over a hundred men, women and children went into battle for control of the Five Points area of New York City. Was this the Jets versus the Sharks dance fight of West Side Story? FUCK NO! These crazy mothers came to kill and were armed with knives, swords, axes, pole arms and a variety of other weapons and a healthy desire to use them. Say what you want about the movie (I like it), this fight was an ass kicking tour de force in the snow and Bill the Butcher is one crazy tough mofo. I think my ass cheeks clamped shut the first time Bill unlimbered the meat cleaver as a weapon. Fuck those things are dangerous!

*****

*****

Conti’s #2. They Live (George Nada vs. Frank Armitage)

Yeah, I know, Pro Wrestling is fake. Which is why the fight in They Live is so damn good  – Rowdy Roddy Piper’s expertise in faking fights comes into play here. He brings years of rasslin’ experience, where you would work up to five times a weeks live, with no retakes or fancy edits to hide your mistakes from the audience. Plus he used to be an amateur wrestler (the real kind), Golden Gloves boxer and has a Black Belt in Judo under legendary grappler “Judo” Gene LeBell. Few, if any, actors could ever match those credentials…

…which is what makes Keith David such a surprise in this scene. He holds his own and then some against Rowdy Roddy in one of the most rough and tumble brawls ever recorded on film (and all over the fact that Keith’s Frank Armitage doesn’t want to put on some damn shades).

*****

Xiphos’ #2. Night and the City (1950):

(Gregorius the Great vs. the Strangler)

This noir classic from 1950 was so dark that the film critic for the New York Times, Bosley Crowther, described it like this: “If any more cruel, repulsive picture of human brutishness than this is ever screened, this writer has no desire to see it.” What was he talking about? The “wrestling” match to the death between Gregorius the Great and The Strangler. This fight was especially brutal considering it was 1950. Even 60 years later the fury on display has hardly been matched and probably never will be. Why you ask? Simple, they don’t hire guys that look like those two to be in movies any more. Would the scene have had the same kind of impact if you hired a couple of waxed chested half a fag pretty boys for this? No is the answer, you would not. It would end up being a slap fight between two sissies instead of a battle to the death between two mean looking motherfuckers that chew barb wire and piss nails.

The other thing about this fight, it was done in near silence. Sure, there is some yelling from other characters but for the most part there was no dialogue, no music and it had interesting camera work, especially for the time. For me to notice technical points says something. I never notice crap like the score or camera work that other people seem to geek out over. The silence made you focus on just how much damage these two men were dealing out.

*****

*****

Conti’s #1. Lethal Weapon (Sergeant Martin Riggs vs Mr. Joshua)

This has got to be one of the most forced and implausible endings to a movie ever: Mr. Joshua (Gary Busey) – guilty of killing two cops – has been disarmed, Sgt. Riggs (Mel Gibson) has him covered and he is surrounded by a bunch of squad cars and boys in blue. So what do they do? Riggs puts down his gun and everyone lets Busey and Gibson go mano-a-mano just so we can get a climatic fight to end of the movie with. Talk about a pointless action scene.

So why do I have it as my number one fight scene if I find this set-up so God damn ridiculous? Because it is one hell of a fight scene! You have two of the nuttiest actors ever, Mel Gibson and Gary Busey, channeling all of their craziness into their characters as they go at it like two savage, angry pit bulls. Or should I say, going at it like two savage, angry pit bulls who actually know how to fight.

We see a wide variety of moves in this fight: punches, head butts, kicks, knees, elbows, judo style throws, body slams, flying drop kicks and submission holds. To show how lethal Detective Riggs really is, the filmmakers decided to show his mastery of a bunch of martial arts that the audience probably hasn’t seen before. To do this they brought in three experts to act as technical advisors: Cedric Adams, who taught the actors some Capoeira moves; Dennis Newsome, who brought in moves from Jailhouse Rock/52 Pickup (a form of martial arts developed in American prisons by black inmates); and the coup de grâce, Rorion Gracie of the Gracie family was brought in to teach them Brazilian Jiu-jitsu.

So what is the big deal about all this? Well, how about the fact that Lethal Weapon predicted MMA and the domination of BJJ six years before UFC 1. Many of the moves that Riggs is using are now common place in the UFC and other MMA leagues. Just watch the final couple of moves by Riggs in the fight to see him try and armbar and then seconds later apply a Triangle Choke. Now to see how effective that move is, just watch Daiju Takase apply the Traingle Choke to Anderson Silva, one of the best MMA fighters in the world, and submit him right here.

That is why I place this as number one. Not only is this fight scene exciting, vicious, dramatic, intense and involves well choreographed, believable moves, it is also fucking prophetic. It predicted the future direction of martial arts, not only in the movies but in the real world as well. How Network managed to predict the future direction of television news,  Lethal Weapon managed to do so with martial arts. That is how revolutionary this scene was, and why it is my number one.

*****

Xiphos’ #1. Rocky (1976): (Apollo Creed vs. Rocky Balboa)

The final fight between Rocky and Apollo is the template that every boxing/fight scene in movies have used since the movie came out in ’76 and has been reworked hundreds of times. It is the grand Mack daddy of fight scenes and is so iconic that it sets the table for all subsequent boxing/fight scenes in film. This fight is brutal, tough, logical (which many, too many, fights on film aren’t) and has an ending that is out of the usual. It’s 30+ years later and the fight still brings chills to my spine and I have goose bumps thinking about it. All those involved with the technical points of boxing did a good job. Due to the sheer impact it’s had, this film has to be number one.

*****

*****

Bonus!

Conti’s

WORST FIGHT SCENE EVER

Originally I was going to put Jet Li’s Fearless or Gymkata as the film with the worst fight scene ever, but thanks to recent debates I decided to make a bold choice and pick The Dark Knight.

I’m not saying The Dark Knight is a bad movie, but one thing that is bad in it is the fight scenes. I don’t know if it is because Nolan doesn’t know how to shoot one or if it is because Bale and his stunt man can’t move in the f’ing batsuit, but whatever the case, the fights in this movie are truly uninspired. Shaky close-ups, jarring cuts, a lack of understanding character’s spatial relationships – the film is guilty of all that. What you get in The Dark Knight aren’t so much fight scenes but impressions of fight scenes. I could accept that in Batman Begins when everyone was claiming it was the subjective view of Batman’s opponents but to repeat this style again makes me think it isn’t so much an artistic choice but an inability to stage anything good.

The reason this drives me nuts is because Nolan is supposedly trying to present Batman as being very plausible and believable. This Batman is presented as being “realistic” but every time they show one of his cutty fight scenes I am reminded of the artifice.

Fight scenes are like dance numbers in musicals – no one buys Richard Gere’s dancing in Chicago because we can tell it is just the filmmakers trying to trick us with editing tricks. But no one doubts that Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly can really dance because we can see them do it uninterrupted for minutes at a time. I’m not saying that we need to have a 10 minute shot of Batman fighting, but at least show me enough so I can get a grasp of the geography and see what the hero is actually doing.

There are obviously worse fight scenes than this out there but those are not in a film that has been labeled great and is one of the hugest hits of all time and those other films won’t influence the way future movie fight scenes are shot and edited. No, the reason I voted this as worst is because the fight scenes in TDK are like the dialogue in Juno – something horrible in a huge hit that will unfortunately be imitated for years to come.

*****

Xiphos’

WORST FIGHT SCENE EVER

witness2

The Amish beat down by John Book in Witness. I’m not sure what movie the Finger of Doom was acting in. Did he think he was Han Solo or Indiana Jones and not a guy hiding out in Amish country dressed like an Amish member? The ridiculousness of seeing The Finger of Doom thinking he was Indy as he strolled up to local rural Pennsylvania “street toughs” wearing a straw hat and suspenders makes me giggle. The fight scene is lame beyond imagination and just stupid. Nice job Harrison Ford, you make the list twice as both the good and the aweful.

*****

Just One More

When Conti and I first started this article we both found the link below, which is the longer version of the film Conti made at the top of the post. We emailed each other at almost the same time saying we each found the worst fight scene ever and if we only knew what the movie it came from it would win hands down. So with that in mind enjoy the longer version of what has to be the worst fight ever filmed.

*****

Boxer

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139 responses to “CONTINENTALOP vs XIPHOS in the BATTLE ROYALE of MOVIE FIGHT SCENES Round 2”

  1. Droid says :

    Yeah, a bit hit and miss for me, but Rocky at number 1 is a given. That end makes me tear up every time.

    Raiders and Eastern Promises are both really good. I haven’t seen a couple, They Live or Night and the City.

    I also disagree with Conti about the fight scenes in TDK. If you’re going to pick on a film for creating fights through editing then you can’t go past the piece of shit Bourne sequels.

    Another awesome fight scene is the epic showdown between John MUrdock and Mr Book in Dark City.

    Anyhoo, good stuff guys.

    • Continentalop says :

      Like I said Droid, I was going to make a bold choice. But another reason I chose it is because Batman is known as a great hand-to-hand fighter. Bourne is a master of martial arts, but he also knows how to use guns and other weapons. Batman ONLY uses his hands (and a couple of gadgets) and that is it. And with just his hands he manages to defeat armed, dangerous criminals without killing any of them.
      If you want me to believe in Batman, you got to make me believe that is possible. Doing really choppy edits don’t make me believe that – it just draws attention to the fakery IMO.

      • Droid says :

        But if Bourne is a master of martial arts, he shouldn’t need three edits for every movement to portray his abilities.

      • Continentalop says :

        Ahh, but is Bourne AS big of martial arts as Batman? I think not.
        And secondly, I think you can at least see Bourne move. The Batsuit makes Bale and his body double move as gracefully as an ox. Luckily for Batman all his foes he fights in TDK seemed to have gone to the Han’s school of henchmen fighting, where you all run up to the guy head on, one at a time, evenly spaced out and never once try to shoot for the legs.

      • Jarv says :

        “FOrm an orderly queue so I can clobber you.”

        Hehehe

      • Droid says :

        You just said he was a “master of martial arts”. I’d have thought being a master makes Bourne pretty formidable. Luckily for him the super assassins sent to kill him all do so in a different room of the house, which you’d think they’d avoid because of the well known fact that Bourne was well trained in the little known art of IKEA-fu.

  2. Jarv says :

    I could have sworn Conti would pick Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke

    • Continentalop says :

      You know, I love that scene but I never even thought about it. For me it never really was much of a fight scene but a great scene to show Luke’s character.

  3. Chipps says :

    i’m going with xi on five – from the book that brought us Alexander’s conquest of the world

    conti on four – but i do like that fight xi (as i have said i would have gone with the market place fight though)

    defiantly conti for three, the techno music is a bad choice, that movie could have been good, but it really wasn’t, part of scorsasies fall from grace. His name no longer makes me sit up.

    couldn’t watch number 2

    and definitly rocky. conti, what were you thinking?

    overall I prefer contis list however, all that matters is number one.

    • Continentalop says :

      Oh come one! Rocky is an overrated fight scene. I wouldn’t even put the film Rocky in the top 5 Boxing films ever made.

      Plus Rocky doesn’t even keep his hands up.

      • Chipps says :

        it is true he does lower his hands, but with that as a criticism you should rewatch all those other fights on the list.

      • Continentalop says :

        Yeah, but Chipps they are not trying to make a realistic boxing movie.

      • Chipps says :

        i like the scene. I recently rewatched the rocky movies, and it’s interesting, as you go further into them the quality of the scripts go down, the quality of the fights go down and the percentage of fighting goes up.

      • Continentalop says :

        Actually I am being a little facetious just to play up the fake fight angle between me and Xi. But in all honesty, I like that fight scene – mostly for the emotional content. But the funny thing is I think I can name five better Boxing movies than Rocky, and that is no knock against Rocky. Just goes to show you how many great boxing movies there are.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        There might be better boxing scenes in other movies but nothing has compared to Rocky in the amount of impact it has had both in movies and in society at large.

      • Continentalop says :

        I agree Xi. I’m not trying to knock the original Rocky at all. because I like the movie a lot, but I do think there are at least a couple of better boxing movies. Is there any boxing movie more popular than Rocky? Doubtful. But just because something is the most well-liked doesn’t make it the best.

        Luckily Rocky is still a great movie, so at least the most popular one is also great instead of something embarrassingly overrated. I can easily live with Rocky being called the best boxing movie ever versus a lot of other genres where people label crappy, moronic box office hits the greatest ever (a certain 1999 war movie comes to mind).

      • xiphos0311 says :

        I agree there are a better boxing movies or movies with boxing in them that are technically better with boxing but few if any have the heart that Rocky 1 has.

        I have to hand it to Stallone his three day writing binge that created Rocky is simply amazing to me. The ability to create such a real and believable movie that has so much heart to it that fast is mind boggling. Unfortunately then the 80’s happened and Stallone disappeared up his own ass.

  4. Continentalop says :

    Actually, here is the fight I wanted to pick for number one:

  5. Jarv says :

    Oooh Boxing Scoring.

    Round 6: (Conti) 9- (Xi) 10
    Round 7: 10-9
    Round 8: 10-8 (I fucking detest that film and Day Lewis running in and out of the fog is daft, not to mention the intercut scenes of toffs at dinner)
    Round 9: 10-9
    Round 10: 8-10 (ROCKY!!!!)

    I need to go and do this for the first 5 rounds now.

  6. Jarv says :

    Round 1: 9-10
    Round 2: 10-9
    Round 3: 9-10
    Round 4: 8-10
    Round 5: 10-8

    Conti wins by 2 rounds.

    Close, but that Gangs of New York Pick cost Xi.

  7. Jarv says :

    Actually, that worst fight levels it. That Amish fight is the most ridiculously stupid thing ever and would score heavily for Xi.

    So it’s a draw. Well done lads.

    • Continentalop says :

      That’s for tie breaking purposes only. Don’t cheat me out of this victory!

      • Jarv says :

        Fair enough. On the 10 rounds, you’ve got it, almost entirely down to that GONY Pick.

        Scorcese working for you in a completely unexpected way

  8. Continentalop says :

    I should mention, before Xi reminds me, that I would like to thank Barfy for putting this together and fixing my 10,000 spelling and grammar errors.

    • xiphos0311 says :

      Yes thanks Barfy you worked wonders.

    • Barfy says :

      Thank you but you give me far too much credit. If it weren’t for you, I’d have to learn about kaili sticks and 52 hand blocks on the streets! You two are a delight and my fingers are forever at your beck and call.

  9. Continentalop says :

    I don’t think GONY is wretched, but it is a huge disappointment. Especially when you consider the potential of the project.

    • Jarv says :

      Nope. It’s wretched.

      Partially redeemed from being terminal dogshit by Day Lewis. But I balance him against Diaz in that.

      • Continentalop says :

        I honestly think a lot of blame has to go to the Wienstien’s.

        But I think the fight that Xi picked from Gangs is actually a pretty good one. Maybe it is because I like Scorsese AND I love that book.

      • Jarv says :

        I was thinking of the climax as I can’t play youtube. But on thinking about it, he must be referring to the beginning and it still ain’t as good as the other one. Bruce fucking Lee v Overstaged period nonsense is an easy 10-9.

        If it had been what passes for a climax then the ref would have stepped in and stopped the bout.

    • Chipps says :

      yeah, it really had great potential.

  10. Chipps says :

    yeah overall, conti. but i still say the dud pick at the end fucks you. gangs of new york is a howler though.

  11. Jarv says :

    Whoops. I was thinking of the wrong GONY fight.

    Amend it to 10-9. Conti still has it by 1.

  12. Droid says :

    Round 10: 10-10. Haven’t seen Emperor of the North Pole so can’t judge.
    Round 9: 10-10. Haven’t seen The Protector so can’t judge.
    Round 8: 10-10. Haven’t seen Hard Times so can’t judge.
    Round 7: 10-8. Conti wins it.
    Round 6: 10-8. Conti wins it.
    Round 5: 10-10. Haven’t seen The Warriors so can’t judge it. (But I’d suspect I’d side with Xi)
    Round 4: 9-10. Xi wins it. Both terrific scenes, but Indy vs Nazi FTW.
    Round 3: 10-8. Conti wins it.
    Round 2: 10-10. Haven’t seen either.
    Round 1: 8-10. Xi wins it.

    Conti wins on a technicality. That technicality being that I haven’t seen a lot of these films.

    But Xi is the overall winner for me because Rocky rules and should always be number one.

    • Continentalop says :

      The Warriors is a great film. I was going to put it on my list but Xi snagged it first (we had a no repeating rule).

  13. Jarv says :

    With a young film-maker I can accept that “a lot of the blame” argument, but it was fucking Scorcese!

    That’s like saying The Terminal was shit because of Studio interference.

    • Continentalop says :

      Yeah, but when you are saddled with Diaz, Leo (which I bet Scorsese actually is happy about after the fact), and rewrites by a bunch of people including Steven Zaillian & Kenneth Lonergan to give it greater mass appeal, I think there is something that could be said about that. Especially when you hear stories about how Wiensteins would interfere constantly with the project – very telling that they have never worked together again.

      I will also say that Scorsese has always been dying to make that movie, and finally got the chance. I think he sold a lot himself out to get that film done.

      But in the end of the day it does bare his name so he has responsibility for it.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve only seen it once, but I have to say that my memory of it is that it was “okay”. But the only things I remember from it is Daniel Day Lewis being awesome as per usual and some absolutely dreadful shite from U2, as per usual.

      • Jarv says :

        So he sold out to get it made?

        The absolute worst bit about it was the climax. Fucking dreadful is what that was, and he’s got to take the hit for that one.

        As bad as Diaz is, she doesn’t sink the film.

        Weinsteins are fuckheads of the highest order, but that’s the first Scorcese film I flat out hated.

      • Continentalop says :

        I actually think Leo is worse than Diaz in that thing. As least Diaz isn’t the one holding the film up, Leo is. I just could not buy him as a tough Irish street gang leader.

        Although, and I know Jarv is going to have a conniption about this, I bought him in The Departed.

      • Jarv says :

        Meh in the Departed, crap in GONY.

        Anyway, I’m bored of perpetual arguments over that film. Infernal Affairs it is not, and despite Baldwin and Wahlberg’s efforts Matt Damon and Leo (and especially Jack on coke) were not a patch on their Chinese opposite numbers.

        I know Tony Leung has been in bloody everything since, but he was fucking awesome in that film.

  14. Continentalop says :

    Well I better get to bed. I still got to finish a review for PopCultureNinja.

    Adios gentlemen.

  15. Jarv says :

    We could all pick 10 fight scenes with merit now I think about it. There would be some cross over, but still…

  16. Chipps says :

    gony = departed. same same.

  17. kloipy says :

    Great lists guys. I agree with most of the choices on here. And that video at the top is amazing. That fight is hilarious, and I’m pretty sure that guy with the knife slapped the other dude at one point. I just like how pissed off they got about the shirts

    • xiphos0311 says :

      Kloipy all the credit for that amazing little movie goes to ContinentalOps. he did great work on that. Atta boys all the way around for ContinentalOps!

    • Barfy says :

      Kloipy, I’m sure Conti is used to having girls squeal but that’s what I did when I saw the video. Conti’s the best!

  18. Cobra--Kai says :

    GONY does not exist in this dojo

    To echo others I think GONY is gonads. And not gonads in a good way. Also it’s a bit of a cheat on this list isn’t it – I thought we were talking ‘one-on’one’ when it cames to fights?

    Isn’t GONY and indeed THE WARRIORS more of a ‘battle’ than a fight?

    Maybe i’m just pissed cos my Robert shaw vs Sean Connery prediction didn’t come true. The dojo’s crystal ball is obviously a little cloudier than usual..

    Glad to Mr T vs Rocky in there tho – DON’T TURN YO BACK ON ME SUCKA!!!

    • Jarv says :

      Some sense. Thank the lord!

      • xiphos0311 says :

        I don’t particularly like Rocky 3 I thought that was where the series lost it until Rocky Balboa which is a great movie.

        In the first one and to a lesser extent the second Rocky was grounded in reality and I know guys like him from boxing gyms around the country. But starting in 3 it began to get to unrealistic and gimmicky and funny book like. 5 does not exist in this dojo.

    • xiphos0311 says :

      Kai this was never about single combat it was about fighting in general and the hardest fight scenes. Yes mostly it is single combat but that was not a specific criteria for selection.

      Also That is Rocky 1 and not 3. Mr. T isn’t present.

      • Cobra--Kai says :

        What??! NO ‘T’ NO DEAL!

        The ROCKY 3 fight is far superior to the original.

        Clubber Lang hit on Rocky’s woman in the build-up (“Eh wuman! Eh wuman! Why don’t you get your pretty little self over here so I can show u what a real man is”) and then Mickey died – both events turning Rock upside down. He had to lay it on the line. He had to let it all out. He had to take out the T. That was some epic shit.

  19. xiphos0311 says :

    Jarv I have to point out that you are letting your dislike for the entire movie GONY cloud your judgment about one scene from Gony. This is not about the movie overall it’s about how brutal the one fight is and for two solid minutes GONY was entirely savage. Ending with the coup de grace delivered to Priest with his son standing over him.

    Originally I was going to use two different scenes from Last of the Mohicans but reviewing it I had to to chuck both of them becasue fire arms were used in them. Firearms were excluded as a criteria or at least they were by me. Fist knives anything else short of a firearm was OK.

    And just for honesty sake I’ve never seen Eastern Promises.

    • Jarv says :

      I agree that film is a shitburger, and I did get which fight you were talking about wrong. Which is why I upped it to 10-9 rather than a knockdown.

      However, I’d still have Bruce v Chuck over it.

    • Chipps says :

      it was brutal, but the sound decisions just made it porno

  20. Jarv says :

    If I was going to put up a top 10 there’d be loads from both lists in it- Indy v Nazi, Eastern Promises, They Live, Rocky, and The Warriors (maybe not that fight though, I was thinking about the one with the girls) would all make a list I’d pick. However, I’d have had Cool Hand Luke- just the most stubborn display of stupidity one man has ever done, Casino fight from B13, Rooftop from Chocolate (love that film) and two others.

    • xiphos0311 says :

      The Baseball Fury destruction is one of my most favorite scenes in any movie ever. I have love for the Warriors that is way past rational.

      • Continentalop says :

        Warriors is a great movie. I was so tempted to put in the fight scene in the bathroom against the Punks.

  21. Cobra--Kai says :

    Mr Han Man chooses ENTER THE DRAGONs nunchuka brawl over Chuck Norris and here’s why…

    “The fight with the guards was magnificent.”

    “Your skills are EXTRA ordinary”

  22. Hawaiian Organ Donor says :

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned Biff Tannen versus George McFly. Shame on you, Droid.

    • Droid says :

      HOD, it was one of the first things that sprung to mind, but I thought about it, and came to the conclusion that its not so much a fist fight as just one hell of a punch.

      I’m quite happy to work it into a Top 10 if you give it the all clear.

      • Cobra--Kai says :

        Top Ten – one punch wonders?

        George McFly on Biff

        Conan on Camel

        Bonnie McLane on smarmy reporter

        You could also work in Costner’s kick to the balls on that guy in NO WAY OUT. Not a punch but fucking devastating nonetheless.

      • koutchboom says :

        What about Black Dynamites

        “I threw that shit before I got in here!” kife throw?

      • Continentalop says :

        Koutch, I was tempted to put in the pool hall scene. I think that actually is a great, funny fight scene (especially when Bullhorn shows up). Alas I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  23. koutchboom says :

    While I don’t think that anything Marko Zaror has done as of yet would warrent being on the top ten list, I bet in five years something he’s done will.

    The best thing he’s done so far would be the Mirageman reality show battle.

  24. koutchboom says :

    I also think something from Versus should be on this list, but I’d have to watch that movie again.

  25. Stuntcock Mike says :

    Conti wins this round due to his pick for #1. Sorry Xi.

    • xiphos0311 says :

      So it goes Mike we still have the love for Death Race. Our bond is strong.

      • koutchboom says :

        You guys talking about the new Death Race? I fucking loved that movie too. Though I don’t hate PWA like everyone else, AvP is really his only shit bomb.

    • Stuntcock Mike says :

      Oh yeah, Death Race is a fucking gem pure and simple.

      I’m on the 3rd day of my second 7 Days of Statham thing.

      About to watch In The Name of the King. Death Race tomorrow(for about the 14th time).

      PWSA hate is way out of whack.

      Death Race binds us. Makes us whole. And restores the faith that even under extreme geek pressure, a fine ass action film can still be made in our times.

  26. Stuntcock Mike says :

    And to put it to rest once and for all, Martin Riggs could kick John MaClane’s ass around the block. At least in the first two LW films. By the fourth one, Riggs would just challenge him to a tickle fight.

    And lose.

    • koutchboom says :

      Hahahah I think Riggs/MaClane would have to end in a tie after they’ve destroyed the world. Well I guess in hand to hand maybe Riggs would win, but he would have to fucking fight forever and in a empty room. MaClane is too crafty, if they fought in the streotypical industrial area where most of these fights take place John would easily find something to stab/drop on/smack in head. I would pay to see that fight.

  27. Hawaiian Organ Donor says :

    Both choices for number 4 won me over. Sorry for being a pussy but I’m calling this one a tie.

  28. kloipy says :

    Conti- just wanted to give thanks for your inclusion of that fight scene from Eastern Promises. I loved that movie and that scene is fucking brutal. I’m obviously not a fan of male nudity, but somehow it just makes that scene more intense. It took literal balls to do that. And when he jams that knife right into the eye and twists it, you feel that shit.

    • Continentalop says :

      Kloipy, I agree about the nudity makes it more intense. I heard that people feel more vulnerable when they are naked. I mean, you got nothing between your skin and the blade.

    • Droid says :

      Viggo being naked makes him seem much more vulnerable, and lends the scene believability. Last thing you want is some burly bloke with a knife coming at you when you’re starkers and your dongs flapping in the wind.

      You always see knife fights in movies where the hero gets his shirt slashed or something, and you’re supposed to go “whoa, that was close!” It also helped that it was a bit of a “realistic” fight in that its a messy, wrestle type thing and you can tell whats happening, instead of some hyper edited, confusing mess.

      • Continentalop says :

        I agree there droid. I always laugh at that, “Whew! Just missed me!” shit.

        And I think that hyper editing mess actually makes knife fights less realistic. I mean, the hero is trying to keep track of where a fucking bladed weapon is, and the audience doesn’t even know. And he is someone dodging and blocking it? Bullshit.

    • just pillow talk says :

      Very good movie and crazy scene. THAT is how you do an intense scene.

  29. Continentalop says :

    I can’t speak for Xi, but for my own criteria a great fight scene requires the fight to be in somewhat doubt. Conan punching the Camel is funny, but the camel doesn’t fight back.

    • xiphos0311 says :

      Doubt, brutality, savagery how it was staged and how the fight affected me were the objective factors I used. Then there was whole bunch of other subjective criteria I had. Then there was the basic outline we had to chose fight scenes it all got thrown in the hopper and mixed up.

  30. just pillow talk says :

    How about Wang vs. Rain in Big Trouble and their flying sword fight?

    • Continentalop says :

      I love Big Trouble. I think it is a nearly flawless movie, I just don’t think any of the fight scenes enter the real of great IMO. Of course, if you look at my list you’ll see that I am kind of a stickler for realism. Hell, I even picked the Matrix because they came up with a plausible rational why they can fight so good.

      • just pillow talk says :

        That was more of a funny ha-ha fight scene, than your top ten.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        I tried to figure a way to get a BTILC scene in the mix but couldn’t. Maybe if somebody does a comic fight scene list it could happen.

  31. koutchboom says :

    Conti what did you think about the knife fights in The Hunted?

    • Continentalop says :

      You know I never saw that. Is it any good?

      • koutchboom says :

        I didn’t particularly like it, it’s ok worth seeing once. For some reason I just don’t really like Benichio Del Toro, I had a hard time buying him as this bad ass. There were some cool scenes but I remember being underwhelmed when I left the theater.

      • Stuntcock Mike says :

        I don’t know Koutch, it’s on AMC every 17 hours and I always end up watching it. I find it a pretty tight, fast paced actioneer.

        Good call on the knife fight for that one. Tommy Lee is great in it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I am willing to give it another shot, I don’t remember exactly why I felt let down. Probably because I saw it in theaters and it was just a renter.

  32. just pillow talk says :

    Knife fight and Tommy Lee?

    Under Siege anyone?
    That knife in the head will definitely leave a mark.
    Definitely.

    • Stuntcock Mike says :

      Haha yes! And Mr. Seagal puts that poor fuck through the bandsaw.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        I always liked the knife fight at the beginning of Hard To Kill. The one were the tattooed banger is holding a knife over his head blade down and talking trash. In two moves Segal takes the knife away and pile drives banger boy into the ground. Good times

      • Stuntcock Mike says :

        And then the ankle goes SNAP! and we cut to him driving home listening to “Feel So Good” by Chuck Mangione.

        Could anything be better than that?

        I think not.

  33. Jarv says :

    Pwsa hate is completely justifiable. Avp, RE, etc. Utter shit.

  34. Droid says :

    Death Race blows.

  35. Droid says :

    Though I don’t hate PWA like everyone else, AvP is really his only shit bomb.

    I call bullshit on that.

    He’s NEVER made an okay film, let alone a good one. (Unless Shopping is good)

    Shopping – Haven’t seen
    Mortal Kombat – Blows
    Event Horizon – First half propped up by some great visuals. Second half is utter shit. Overall it blows.
    Soldier – Complete shit. Probably his worst film. And thats saying something. A total waste of a superbuff Kurt.
    Resident Evil – Blows
    AvP – Blows
    Death Race – Blows
    Resident Evil 4 – In all likelihood will blow.

    • Continentalop says :

      I don’t know if Soldier is his worst film. It isn’t complete shit, but it is bad and a waste of Kurt.

      • Droid says :

        Well, I’m going off my distant memory of being excited to see it at the cinema (I don’t think I knew who PWSA was then). I absolutely loathed it and I was fairly lenient on movies back then. A lot more lenient than I am now anyway.

    • Droid says :

      WTF? I just read that Soldier is somehow a spinoff of Blade Runner. Supposedly “set in the same universe but on different planets”. What a load of shit.

      • Continentalop says :

        You misread that. A spinoff of “Turd Runner”.

      • Continentalop says :

        And what I hate about it is that it is a bad remake of Shane.
        If your going to base a movie on a classic movie, make it live up to the classic.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve never seen Shane. It’s one of those movies I’ve always heard about (like some sort of argument if he’s dead at the end or not? I think its that movie.) but I’ve never come across it. Might have to actively seek it out.

      • Continentalop says :

        Have you seen High Plains Drifter?

      • Continentalop says :

        You ever hear of this thing called motion pictures? Apparently they’ve been making them for over a hundred years.

      • Droid says :

        And you’d know. Tell me, how much of an impact on your life was the great depression?

      • Droid says :

        Conti, I’d love to hear about the first time you ever went to “the talkies”. Was it a huge shock for you after the silent era?

  36. lordbronco says :

    Ahh…That Title card edit is making me giggle-repeatedly!

    You guys did good!

    Xi-I wasn’t aware that The Corps is issuing mullets these days.

    Is that Hair Gel Government Issue?

    If so, please send me an e-mail at: something something something@g-mail.com-I believe we can get a lock on U.S. Military Hair Gel no-bid contracts.

    I have friends you see-shady shady friends.

    Hair gel may be the world’s answer to safe and efficient campfire starting-I’m just saying…

    Keep it on the Downlow and totally…

    Hush Hush!

    Good job on Fighting Xiphos Barfy!

    Who says Girls Can’t Fight?

  37. lordbronco says :

    OK-this list was the best list ever!

    Thank you for posting!

    However-as much as I appreciate how totally brutal this carefully ruminated posts are, I have 2 points.

    Eastern Promises would be my number one, except for this:

    Kickass and Cage going Ballistic! This is state of the art in whatever!

    Brutal.

    Or this would be my followup second pic:

    The DethKlok Concert where they play to Phish/Grateful Dead Fans.

    Oh sorry-you have to BUY this clip because it’s awesome!

    Please BUY it from a DVD retailer, because it’s ummm…KICKASS!

    Peace All,

    Visualize Whirled Peas!

    Cheers!

    • lordbronco says :

      Also, Emperor of the North is Number 3, but I cannot disparage Rocky Uno!

      Tamam!

      Nom Noms!

    • xiphos0311 says :

      Bronco I can’t speak for Conti but if a firearm was present it took it off the list for me. Firearm fights are their own category in my opinion.

      Plus i have not seen kick ass so there is that issue also.

      Thanks for the props.

      • Continentalop says :

        Yeah, I didn’t count firearms or swords. If weapons were used I limited it to knives, bats and any impromptu weapon – chains, hammers, bottles, etc. – and I had a rule that one side had to start unarmed when dealing with anything besides impromptu weapons.

      • Continentalop says :

        If I had picked Gangs of New York I would of excluded it from my above rule, however. That is an f’ing street fight after all.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Conti now you have me considering posts about swords and firearms.

      • Continentalop says :

        Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Unfortunately my knowledge of firearms is like 1/1000th of yours if I am lucky.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        I’m sure most people would consider that a good thing.

        There are a lot good to great shootout scenes out there that would take a while to figure that one out.

      • Continentalop says :

        I think if I did a list 90% of them would be Westerns.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        Westerns would be a disproportionately represented that’s true.

        I think I would do list without the crutch of things like the Heat shootout, Peckinpah and war flicks. Why? becasue I’m dopey and have to make things harder then they need to be.

      • Continentalop says :

        I just sent you an e-mail but I like your last set of rules.

      • xiphos0311 says :

        I’m working on a reply but it’s slow going.

      • lordbronco says :

        ah, Xi- I now saw the guidelines-which i think are what made this list so much fun.

        So the Cage/Kickass scene would have been excluded by those excellent rules.

        Kickass has a few other good fights-but the cage one that I linked to is the crowning achievemment of the flick.

        If you haven’t seen the movie-I’d skip the link. Kickass was a fun little movie despite some pacing issues and a few logistical wtfs-but it was surprisingly tough and coherent.

        The black and white scene was actually quite good-I believe that was Conti on that one…

        anyway, thanks again.

  38. lordbronco says :

    Warriors vs Baseball Furies link updated!

  39. ThereWolf says :

    Far too late to comment really, everything’s been said already. I will sit firmly on the fence and say it’s a “tie” between Xi & Conti, good punch-ups all round, chaps.

    But ‘They Live’ should be Number 1.

    As for Worst Fights – you’ve probably not seen them but the ones in ‘Inseminoid’ are terrible.

  40. Tom_Bando says :

    Late to da party (as always):

    *I liked Witness the film overall. I’d have to watch that Amish finger of Doom scene again. Didn’t stand out to me. Maybe another viewing-?

    *Rocky I is great.

    *Not a big fan of the Bats Nolan flix. The BatSoot fights I agree w/ Conti Pops here. Shakey cam city. Egads. Might’s well go w/ BIFF! POW! ZOWIE! etc. you know?

    *Not a Gangs of Noo Yoike Fan. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

    *Charles Bronson, Archie Moore, a Chef’s Suit, a knife and a moving train. Breakheart Pass. Check it out.

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