Droid drops a deuce – Kick Ass & Clash of the Titans

 

I thought I’d introduce a new segment that I’m sure I will periodically post when the mood strikes. It’s essentially mini reviews of films that I can’t be bothered reviewing (or don’t have that much to talk about). Here we go…

What the fuck is this? Directed by Matthew Vaughn, based on the Mark Millar/John Romita Jr funnybook of the same name, ‘Kick Ass’ is a pretty violent, sometimes enjoyable, sometimes creepy addition to the ever expanding and seemingly inexhaustible comic book adaptation genre.

What’s it all about? Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) is a normal kid who one day decides he wants to be a superhero. He’s not very good at it. Big Daddy (The Hairpiece), with the aid of his daughter Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) are out to get revenge on Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong), a local crime lord.

Is it any good? It’s okay. The movie is very referential to comic books, frequently mentioning Spiderman, Batman and X-Men. I’ve never read the ‘Kick Ass’ comics, but when there was a particularly violent scene, some bloke sitting behind me whispered to his mate “The comics are much worse.” If that’s the case, then my interest in reading the comic went from zero to zero minus infinity. There’s a scene where Hit Girl, who’s about 10 or something, stabs and slices a room full of thugs. This happens on three separate occasions, but the first time it happens is different to the following two. There’s not really any reason why she should be there, slaughtering people. I’m trying to be vague so as not to contain spoilers, but I think you’ll understand what I’m getting at if/when you see it. The idea of a 10 year old girl hacking people up for no particular reason is just creepy and disturbing to me. I accepted (and somewhat enjoyed) subsequent scenes because they had a purpose, but this first one I was at odds with. I also didn’t really agree with having Hit Girl saying “cunt” and “cock”, as if it’s cool to have a young person swearing. That said, the Big Daddy/Hit Girl plot line is by far the most interesting part of the movie. The story of Kick Ass himself is pretty shit.

Recommended? I’d wait for DVD. It’s worth a look, but certainly not your dosh.

What the fuck is this? Directed by Surrender Hulk Louis Letterier, this remake of the Harryhausen original is a bit of a fucking mess to be honest.

What’s it all about? Perseus (Sam Worthington) is the half cast son of Zeus (Liam Neeson). When humans begin to lose interest in the gods, Hades (Ralph Fiennes) convinces Zeus to “unleash the Kraken” on the mortals of Argos. One would only hope that someone would release the Kraken on current day Argos. A lot of fat cunts and annoying little shits would promptly be exterminated.

Is it any good? No, not really. There’s some amusement to be had here and there, but it’s such a plodding, bland bore for most of the running time that you really don’t give a shit if the Kraken eats everyone or not. I will give credit to Fiennes though, because he knows exactly what movie he’s in. He’s no dummy. He realises the movie sucks, and hams it up to 11. It’s a very enjoyable performance. Other than that, Worthington is average as Perseus. The character is one dimensional, and unfortunately Worthington is the kind of actor that needs a strongly written character, unlike Fiennes who can ramp up the ham. See Worthington in an Aussie flick call ‘Getting Square’. He’s pretty good. He also does not attempt an accent, so the Greek demi-god Perseus sounds like an Aussie. And I would like to know what the fuck happened to Danny Huston. He appears at the start as Poseidon, has maybe one line and is never seen again. It’s disappointing, because I always enjoy his performances, and his fake beard looked fucking ridiculous.

Recommended? No. Maybe a rental if you’re interested enough.