Leprechaun 4: in Space
Once again it’s time to return to the green side, and once again they decide to fuck continuity in the ass.
This is the instalment of the series is completely unique. None of them, to be honest, bear any similarity to the others, but this one is the strangest and most stand alone of the lot,. For example, this is the only episode where the Leprechaun doesn’t rhyme. Instead he gets lengthy monologues that he delivers straight to camera. He also isn’t magic in this one, per se, but just one of many alien species with powers. He’s a dirty little bugger again, and this time he’s got a non-gold related goal. There’s no origin whatsoever, instead, the film chooses to tell us that he’s been terrorising half the galaxy. To cap it all, he’s not the only hazard for our erstwhile heroes to negotiate.
Leprechaun in Space opens with a troop of badass Space Marines getting ready to kill the Leprechaun as he’s been terrorising the galaxy. They find him at dinner with a princess, and having rudely interrupted his quiet evening in engage in a gunfight. He gets blown up, and one of the marines makes the terrible mistake of pissing on his corpse. Not only is it the height of ill manners to piss on a dead Leprechaun, but he’s able to travel up your urine stream and hide in your cock. Not recommended.
The marines take his bride to be back to the ship, where insane Dr Mittenhand wants to run experiments on her. The Leprechaun gets loose, hilarity ensues, Mittenhand is morphed into a monster, and the last surviving marine blows the Leprechaun out of the airlock.
This film redefines awesome. It’s completely insane- but the following features are worth noting:
Firstly, the acting is terminally Edam-esque. However, that doesn’t mean that there is no fun to be had. Especially spotting actors you’ve seen doing other higher profile work slumming it in this bizarre DTV sequel. For example, Miguel A. Núñez Jr, most recently seen in that atrocious cash-in garbage Joey alongside Matt Leblanc, plays Sticks. This is funny, but not my favourite.
If you’re British, then at some point you’ve had the dreadful tosh ‘Allo ‘Allo inflicted upon you at some point. If you’ve seen it (and if you haven’t then I suggest that you keep it that way), then you will no doubt remember effete German officer Lieutenant Gruber. Guy Siner, stalwart of 85 episodes of that unfunny crap, resumes the Gruber role in Leprechaun in Space. Well, they call him Mittenhand, but he isn’t. He’s clearly cyborg Gruber. To really humiliate the poor guy, it looks like someone stole a Dalek, cut it in half and then plonked him in it.
Secondly, this film is astonishing in it’s brazenness. The lead actress, Jessica Collins (the most unlikely doctor since Denise Richards’ jaw-droppingly awful performance as Dr. Christmas Jones) has to overcome several different setbacks, and overcoming each means that she has to remove an item of clothing. Firstly, she gets acid spilt on her, which requires the removal of her bullet proof vest and liberal dousing of her torso with water. Then she gets her trousers torn off. She finishes the film with little to cover her modesty and so slick she looks oiled. This, in the film-makers’ minds, does not constitute meeting the bare minimum nudity requirement, so the alien Princess flashes the space marines (allegedly a death sentence on her planet). As I said, astonishing.
I’ve not touched on the awesomeness of MITTENSCHPIDER yet, because such a beast has to be seen to be believed. Needless to say, Mittenschpider is the result of some Leprechaun style vengeance, but not only is it a useless monster, but also gets some great dialogue. It rants, raves, hisses and scoffs flies before eventually being killed by mostly naked scientist using liquid nitrogen.
Warwick, being the consummate pro he is, takes all the strangeness of this sequel in his stride. He actually looks quite pleased to be able to deliver his lengthy monologues on the nature of evil in the universe with a straight face. He’s a dab hand at accents and gets to show this with a storming John Wayne and other examples. He bickers with his alien bride to be, gleefully stomps around, swears, and curses like a drunken sailor. However, and I’d be utterly failing in my duty if I failed to mention this, he gets to use a lightsabre. I wonder if this pissed off Lucas. Hope so.
The Space Marines themselves are a pretty dim-witted bunch, but special mention must go to Sergeant Malloy, the baddest transvestite cyborg in the universe, and Kowalski. Kowalski gets a mention, for the simple reason that he’s the conduit for the Leprechaun making it on to the ship. He’s receiving some executive hand relief from Private Dolores Costello when Warwick Davis explodes from his cock in full Leprechaun regalia. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen this. It’s every bit as funny as it sounds. I think it was an attempted homage to Alien, but still…
Watch, enjoy, and revel in the most insane Leprechaun movie of the lot. Highly recommended.