Bronson, Reviewed by Koutchboom

Bronson, a proper cunt

Bronson Movie

Are you having a bully day?

Why haven’t I watched any of Nicolas Winding Refn movies yet? The man seems like a right cunt and I mean that in the nicest of terms. I really wanted to see this when I first heard about that. Then it just seemed like some movie that has gotten blown up for some reason and didn’t want to see it, then I really wanted to see it again for whatever reason. Right after seeing it I didn’t think I liked it, but about five minutes later I fucking loved it. This sort of reaction makes sense because Charlie Bronson (aka Michael Gordon Peterson) is just that, he does whatever fuck all he wants to do for whatever fucking reason.

I went into this thinking it was some sort of bio pick, about a minute in I realized that it was a Kubrick wannabe flick, so it is a very liberal bio flick. After going over interviews and hearing some kind words from Charlie Bronson himself I totally agree and see what Refn set out to do, a bio flick based on the concept of Charlie Bronson.

The guy is a complete nutter, love’em or hate’em I feel like this film is just making fun of him. The movie is funny as hell the more I think about some stuff the more I laugh. I mean the line:

Magic? You just pissed on a gypsy in the middle of fucking
nowhere. Its not the hottest ticket in town darling.

Just fucking killed me. I wonder how many people ended up having a problem with this movie, because from what I can tell the man is just a raving lunatic who at least has never killed anyone, and seems to only be a menace while in prison. But that’s just what the movie allows you to know.

Bronson Movie


The movie is set out in three parts: the first part is Charlie going over his life and being in prison, the second is how he deals with being let out of prison and the third is how the rest of the world deals with Charlie. The first part we see Charlie talk about his life on a grand stage like he is giving some one man review show of his life with highlight clips. This is probably the most Kubrickian in terms of style.

The second part was my favorite just because it shows just how odd of a guy that Bronson was, he just did not fit in with the rest of the world. He doesn’t really get how love works he just wants to do what he wants to do and thinks he should be thanked for it. The final part shows just how much of a pain this guy is to deal with. But its so odd because it seems like he just causes trouble because he is bored and he knows that in prison his annoyances and misbehavior will be seen and heard.

Tom Hardy does an amazing job in this portraying this caricature of Bronson. I am not going to say that this movie is just a bad version of a Kubrick movie, its only Kubrick in terms of technique and style, the story and the way it is told it much more straight forward and funnier then Kubricks stuff. I really need to hunt down that Pusher series (its on instant view so its not really hard to find).

When I finished the movie I realized I had done a madness in prison and pickle shot trilogy recently with Shutter Island/Hunger/Bronson. Though I watched them out of order. It should start off with Bronson the start of madness stage, then Shutter Island the middle of madness stage and end with Hunger the end of madness stage. Sure it’s a loose trilogy and Shutter Island doesn’t really fit but whatever. FUCKING RUB IT ON MY ASS!

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About koutchboom


21 responses to “Bronson, Reviewed by Koutchboom”

  1. Jarv says :

    Koutch- he’s fucking deeply insane and deeply dangerous.

    I think he got married last year and may be up for parole *gulp*

    Other interesting facts about him: He used to have the world record for 1 arm pressups. He likes being tickled (this is true, apparently). He named himself after the actor because he liked his “style”.

    He’s a huge nut job.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah he has a book out about how to work out in prison. I think Conti was telling me about it. I wouldn’t mind checking it out.

      They go over the naming thing in the movie, though at first he wants to be called Charton Heston. I bet that part was just made up though.

  2. Jarv says :

    By the way- nice headline. Best hope the man himself never finds you.

  3. Bartleby says :

    Yea, yknow, I just didnt dig this. It’s because while the dude is an extreme nutter, that’s it, he just likes to start shit and beat people and then get beaten. They try to paint him like some outsider artist when he’s just a giant nutbag, and so I got bored afterawhile. Had he tried some different variants of crazy, I could get down with it. But instead it’s like “oh, things are going well for Bronson, it’s about time he stripped down, had the guard smudge war paint on his ass and then let people beat the side of his skull in with a baton. Every time without variation.

    • koutchboom says :

      Hahah yeah that pretty much is the movie in a nutshell. I think at first thats why i didn’t like it. But then listening to shit the director said about it it made more sense.

      Its really odd stylistically this and Hunger are sort of similar (outside of the first 1/3 of Bronson). Just weird how these two films got made around the same time.

      • Bartleby says :

        Finally we agree on a comparison Koutch!

        I loved Hunger, and thought this one sort of just shot it’s load very early. I’m wishing I liked it more, but I just admire the work, not the final product so much. I get what they were trying to do, and it is fun to listen to those commentaries, but the pieces never clicked and made me think they had done anything more than just attempt what they talked about.

        This was my review. I really like the pic I added to it:

  4. Bartleby says :

    But yea, Hardy is awesome. It’s hard to believe this is the same guy who played that pansy in the 10th Star Trek movie. I just haven’t ever really loved this guy’s movies yet. Valhalla Rising was a bit of a bore, surprisingly.

  5. Bartleby says :

    Ha, this was a quote from my original review. I actually like it:
    “What occurred then, that has kept Bronson behind bars for so long and earned him such a volatile reputation? Like The Dark Knight taught us, some men just want to watch the world burn. Bronson isn’t as ambitious; in a twisted variation of the Tootsie Pop quandary, he just wants to see how many licks from a nightstick it takes to cave in a man’s skull. In an example of bad planning, the test skull is his.”

    The Pusher series is cool, but I think it’s another one of those things where the arthouse mouth breathers latch onto it and give all this meaning to a movie series that was just ‘good’.

  6. koutchboom says :

    Another thing is that I think I just really like the personalities of the directors of both The Hunger and Bronson. They are just like fuck everyone and are sort of dicks, but they are staright up about shit, plus they know they are good I don’t think they thrive on being told they are good.

    Though I am much more interested in Steve McQueens next film. Refn could be just a little too full of himself.

    Maybe in a couple of weeks I’ll hate this film. I think my biggest problem was that its not as wacky as it thinks it is. Its pretty straight forward, but thats sort of like Bronson, he thinks he’s this deep guy when he’s just sort of odd.

  7. Bartleby says :

    He is full of himself Koutch, which is why he couldn’t let himself go and just make a kick ass viking film. No, it had to be surrealistic and about human suffering and purgatory and the existential state of huiman kind. Bllarrrp!!!

    Give me Outlander instead!

    And seriously, did you ever watch Ink?

    • koutchboom says :

      FUCK!!! I know I know I suck I suck. I should for real this weekend I’ve managed to keep up on my netflix and only got Law Abiding Citizen to watch tonight.

      Thinking about this, its like sureal take on Murder In the First. Granted that movie was more warden vs. prisoner. But simple guy goes to prison for a small crime goes crazy violent.

  8. Bartleby says :

    It really is similar to Chopper with Eric Bana, in that these guys might be nuts but they are drunk on their own legend. Seriously, Bronson likes to have his ass beaten. I think he has a real sadomasochistic trait there. At any rate, I think we are supposed to see him as bad ass, when it’s really like that pic I used; he just comes off like a crazy-ass ape just doing stuff. It’s kind of pathetic.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah I think they play up the pathetic nature more in Chopper. I just realized that both in Bronson and Murder in the first they robed Post Offices and got away with less then $10.

  9. koutchboom says :

    Also why I like Hunger better is because sure he was going after that gritty Scorsese 70’s style feel, but not out right copying him he made it his own.

    Refn wants to be called the next Kubrick.

  10. herrmilflover says :

    I’m sort of interested in seeing this, mostly out of curiosity as to what the big deal is with this guy, but I’m pretty sure it wont live up to all the hype it’s been getting.

    As for my prison trilogy, that would be
    Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky/HBO’s awesome OZ tv series/ … ….um not sure about the 3rd one….

    I’ll need to see Big Stan starring Rob Schneider before I decide on that.

    • koutchboom says :

      Big Stan wow, I think you’d be the first to see it.

      Check out Hunger before this.

      • herr milflover says :

        I was joking at first, but Big Stan is now on my list of ‘to watch and review’ movies… what can I say, I like Rob.
        I’m still waiting for him to make an Orgasm Guy movie.

        I’ve got a few reviews I’m working on at the moment already, I just need to sort them out.

        Not sure about Hunger. Crazy guy smearing shit on his cell walls aint really a selling point, plus Alvarez did that while in the hole on Oz, so they’d need to put a new spin on it to make it interesting.

  11. herr milflover says :

    There’s also those japanese Prisoner 701 Scorpion movies from the 70s… been curious to see those as well.

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