News Roundup – November 12, 2009: Revisionist Fairy Tales! Fockers! BMX!

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What did we do to deserve David Koepp’s ‘Premium Rush’?

David Koepp, who is responsible for some great movies (Carlito’s Way, Jurassic Park, The Shadow) and some abysmal dreck (The Lost World, Secret Window, Snake Eyes) is going to subject the world to the awful sounding action flick, ‘Premium Rush’.

PR involves a New York City bike messenger who picks up “the wrong package” and is chased all over the city by the crooked cop who wants it back. Unfortunately, even though this sounds like a low budget thriller in the mould of ‘16 Blocks’, something we could easily ignore, it’s apparently a big budget action movie featuring “the kind of elaborate chases associated with a William Friedkin pic”.

I can’t wait to see some kid in a porkpie hat chasing a subway train on his BMX.

 

Droopy Dogs little bro gets his ‘Source Code’.

Persian prince Jake Gyllenhaal has signed on for the sci-fi thriller ‘Source Code’, to be directed by David Bowie’s kid, Duncan Jones.

Gyllenhaal will play a soldier who wakes up in the body of an unknown commuter and is forced to live and relive a harrowing train bombing until he can determine who is responsible for it.

Sounds a bit like the movie ‘Déjà Vu’ to me. I liked this more when Topher Grace was attached and Billy Ray hadn’t done a rewrite.

 

Harvey Keitel reunites with Robert De Niro for the first time since ‘Mean Streets’

‘Little Fockers’ is the sequel to the sequel that absolutely no one seems to be asking for. But that doesn’t stop Hollywood from hedging their bets and utilising their best talent to make yet another bland, forgettable “comedy”.

So here you have De Niro, Keitel, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Laura Dern all involved in a soulless cash-in at the expense of the untold number of genuinely good unproduced screenplays.

Anyhoo, Hollywood comedy is pretty much dead so expect more of the same. I’m just surprised Vince Vaughn hasn’t squeezed his giant, melon head into this flick.

 

Dante Harper follows the breadcrumbs to ‘Hansel and Gretel’.

Harper has been hired to write Tommy Wirkola’s ‘Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters’, which centers on the traumatised siblings, who, 15 years after their experience at the gingerbread house, have become bounty (witch) hunters.

It’s a concept that unfortunately sounds like the abysmal misfire ‘The Brothers Grimm’, but hopefully Wirkola, who made ‘Dead Snow’, can make it work.

 

r2d2-droid

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About Judge Droid

In between refining my procrastination skills I talk a lot of shit about movies and such.

6 responses to “News Roundup – November 12, 2009: Revisionist Fairy Tales! Fockers! BMX!”

  1. Jarv says :

    “Little Fockers”

    I hope everyone involved in this horrible shite develops severe piles.

  2. xiphos0311 says :

    Uninteresting round up to say the least.

  3. Droid says :

    I do apologise, Xi. I’ll make better, more interesting news next time. 😉

  4. ThereWolf says :

    Source Code could be good.

  5. xiphos0311 says :

    It’s not your fault Droid you’re not making this crap.

  6. lord bronco says :

    Huh, Withchunters? Grimm fairy tale…Van helsing 2? *sighs* contemplates dust motes…Sounds like a good year to take up book-readin’

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