Tag Archive | Satire

Jarv Judges Dredd: The Crimes are multiple, and the sentence is…

I’m claiming Dredd for Made in Britain. Yes, technically it was multi-nation produced, and shot mostly in South Africa, but the writer, director and one of the leads are British, and while Mega City One may span the entire East coast of the United States, the original comic, 2000AD was British. So its ours, and that is my final word on the matter.

Obviously, were it rubbish, then I’d be passing the buck furiously to anyone other than us, so the fact that I’m claiming it at all should give an indication as to how this review is going to go. Oh, and I’ve gone insanely picture happy here.

May contain Judgement and extremely mild spoilers below

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The war develops: Underworld Evolution

It’s round two of Underworld. Kate’s back in the jumpsuit and raring to put a cap in some undead bad guys.

Apparently this film bombed in Middle America. Allegedly, someone in the Marketing Department (let’s call him Philibrick) at the studio realised in a stroke of genius what was wrong, and we’re lucky enough to have received the transcript of his conversation with his boss taken from the security footage:

Contains very broad brush and crude satire (with a sprinkling of bad taste) of Hollywood marketing idiocy and spoilers below.

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Jarv’s Birthday Series Redux: The Last Supper (1996)

This has literally never happened to me before. Seriously, I’m not joking about this. I have been forced to change my entire review because of something I found on the internet.

Obviously, I’ve written film reviews before, and I’m well aware of what a toilet the World Wide Web is, but I think that I’ve finally found the single stupidest person with internet access out there. A person so stupid that they really shouldn’t be allowed near computers just in case they snap the keys off and swallow them. A person so dimwitted that they make that fat Star Wars dork on YouTube a few years ago look like a founding member of Mensa. I am almost completely struck dumb by the sheer cretinism and intentional point missing of this utter moron. In short, I have found the Tea Party’s core vote.

And what, you may ask, has this got to do with The Last Supper, a black comedy starring Cameron Diaz released on August 23rd 1996 in the UK? Well, read on and I’ll tell you.

Contains astonishingly big tomato plants and spoilers below. Read More…

Down And Out In Beverly Hills (1986)

Director: Paul Mazursky

Starring: Nick Nolte, Bette Midler, Richard Dreyfuss

Release date: January 31 (US). This film replaced the unavailable Stammheim – which is on youtube but sadly without subtitles and I can’t speak German. Probably would’ve been easy found had it been French. May contain middle-class dysfunction and spoilers…

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The Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981)

Director: Joel Schumacher

Starring: Lily Tomlin, Charles Grodin, Ned Beatty

Release date: January 30 (US). Stitching my booze-soiled notes together for this one. I had to split the movie up over two nights because I don’t think my sides would have survived the resulting laugh riot otherwise. May contain sarcasm and spoilers…

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The Underrated: Swimming With Sharks

Remember back when Kevin Spacey actually made good movies? I think it was just before he was launched into superstardom by the Usual Suspects. It was certainly before he took up dog walking in one of London’s most notorious gay pick up areas. Anyhow, around about this time, the mid 90′s, he churned out a series of exceptional performances in exceptional films. Some of them, such as Seven and The Usual Suspects itself are rightly heralded, but this little film, Swimming With Sharks, was probably his first great performance and slipped right under the radar. I love this film unconditionally, as I recognise a lot of my own experience at work in it, but I can see why it has almost been forgotten about.  Read More…

Jarv’s Birthday Series: S1m0ne (2002)

I’m into the last third of the Birthday Series now with just 9 films to go, and boy am I glad that I started this at the beginning rather than counting down as Droid did- else I’d have binned this as a terrible idea. Today’s effort is Andrew “Gattaca” Nicol’s 2002 high-concept film S1m0ne. I’m struggling a wee bit here, because I do want to applaud it, and some scenes in the film are absolutely stupendous. However, it just doesn’t work, and I’m going to take a stab at why.

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Jarv’s Birthday Series: Life of Brian (1979)

Happy fucking Birthday to me. Yup, it’s day two in the Birthday Series, and this time it’s an unquestionable four out of four film and a masterpiece by any reasonable standard. Because of this, this will be by far the most difficult review that I’ve ever written. There is literally nothing of any interest to say about this film that hasn’t always been covered at great length by much worthier scribes than me. Nevertheless, it’s my fucking birthday and so I’m going to give it a shot. Read More…

Jarv’s Favourite Books. Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis

It’s been a while since I delved back into my extensive library. Not sure why, really, other than that I was vacillating over which book to do next. Part of me thought that I’d review one of the more difficult Murakami books, and I did want to cover The Bonfire of the Vanities, but Droid’s just started reading it. However, in the end, Kingsley Amis’ debut novel, Lucky Jim, was looking at me on the shelf, and the choice was just obvious.  Read More…

Jarv’s Schlock Vault: Society

We’re just one big happy family – except for a little incest and psychosis

Jarv’s Rating: 3 Changs out of 4. A savage social satire masquerading as a truly disgusting monster movie. It may be a tad unsubtle but, nevertheless, the final scene simply has to be seen to be believed. Honestly, I’m a bit traumatised now.

The late 80′s were arguably the most soulless time in history. Evil over hair-gelled bastards had proclaimed themselves as the Masters of the Universe and all completely missed the point of Wall Street and secretly really wanted to be Gordon Gecko. At the same time, the true evil of the “Hit Factory” was foisting manufactured bubblegum music on the world (we’re still suffering from the legacy of that), and this period represented the absolute apex of the Randian inspired cult of the individual. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that this was the most selfish and self-interested time that I’ve witnessed and not one that I feel particularly nostalgic for. At the same time, however, Brian Yuzna was also disgusted at what he saw, but luckily for the world he had both the experience and a platform to properly voice his disgust. The result? 1989′s scabrous satire Society- a film with a blazingly unsubtle message, but a hugely entertaining look at the rich as another kind of animal altogether.

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