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XIPHOS ORBITS NEPTUNE WITH VERONICA MARS

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On Saturday 15 March 2014, I decided to plop myself down on the couch and watch the Veronica Mars movie on VOD. This was the proper way to watch the movie since the couch/hospital bed was how I got sucked into the wonderfully realized world of Veronica Mars in the first place so it was only right that I watch the movie that way. It was a good thing I did since the movie was essentially an extended episode of the series and believe you me that isn’t a bad thing. Read More…

THE HOLLYWOOD KNIGHTS REVIEW

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DISCLAIMER: This is a re-post of the very first movie review I ever wrote. I did it at MyMavra.com years ago. Since I am bogged down in writing a review for Veronica Mars and there has been a paucity of posts as of late due to impending births, or actual births, moves general life things and what not I thought I would dust this POS off and get it up. Enjoy as much as you can.

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MONUMENTS MEN: AN INTERESTING STORY THAT DESERVED A MUCH MUCH BETTER MOVIE

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On Saturday 1 March, I was bored and decided to go see George Clooney’s Monuments Men, since that was just about the only movie that I had slight interest in seeing. I went in knowing full well they had to futz around the real story to make a movie and I was OK with that. However I was not OK with such a unique and amazing story getting such a slight, almost madcap, whimsical movie made about what was a triumph of the human spirit in a bleak, dark moment of history. Read More…

NURSE 3D IS BETTER THAN HAVING YOUR TEMPERATURE TAKEN RECTALLY, BUT NOT BY MUCH

Xiphos here  with ContinentalOp’s take on Nurse 3D which from the sound of it even the copious amounts of full frontal nudity couldn’t save. I would like to take a moment and thank Miss Barfy for actually getting this post up because she’s smart and I’m dumb and she is by far the best person I know so here is a big  THANK YOU very much for posting this from BOTH me and Continentalops. You’re the best.

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THE HOBBIT 2: IF YOU WANTED MORE FRUITY WIZARDS AND MIDGETS WANDERING AROUND NEW ZEALAND IN A FRENZIED CA$H GRAB FELIZ NAVIDAD YOU GOT IT

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****NEWER INTRO**** Because we are nothing if not timely here at WOTM here is my review of The Hobbit 2 The Desolation of Smaug, only 2 months late and way past its shelf life. ThereWolf demanded this review so ThereWolf gets his review because I aim to please and consequently I don’t get my throat torn out in a lupine rage.

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WORLD WAR Z: Mr. Jolie and his fabulous Redfordesque hair saves the world

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So everybody knows about all the trouble that plagued this production right? I don’t feel the need to recap it so I’m going to skip all that noise and just jump right in. is WWZ any good? Well dear readers it’s like this… Read More…

XIPHOS AND EVIL DEAD

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I saw this on Sunday 7 April and here are my thoughts. This will be quick since everybody and probably their mothers know about the Evil Dead franchise so no back story mumbo jumbo from me. Read More…

XIPHOS FINDS SOME FOUND FOOTAGE FILMS

Apparently I’ve also found a love for alliteration which is just one thin hair above the lowest form of primate communication, the high five. Saturday, due to some patchy weather, I went to the movies and since we are coming up on Halloween I decided to go see Sinister and Paranormal Activity 4 because both use the same conceit, the found footage angle and I wanted to see which flick was better able to use that lame story telling device. I am happy to report that one movie used the found footage angle very well probably the best use in a film I have seen to date. The other movie was a Paranormal Activity movie so……
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SAVAGES

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I am not a fan of the works of Oliver Stone. I think he is an untalented and thus highly rewarded and tongue bathed Hollywood hack of a director and worse he is a supreme asswipe of a human being. He’s a junkie anti-semite conspritarded half-wit dumbfuck. I am however a fan of the works of Don Winslow who wrote the book and allegedly worked with the junkie on the script. For a Don Winslow book, Savages is a pretty straightforward affair and easy enough for even a simpleton like Stone to adapt and yet that moron utterly failed in that and missed some of the most important ideas of the book. Read More…

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