Burt Gummer’s Rec Room January 2011 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang.

Welcome to 2011. Apparently we’re less than 12 months from the Mayan Apocalypse. Best stock up on weapons and other essential survival gear.

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom.

3,147 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room January 2011 Archive”

  1. koutchboom says :

    The one thing I did find annoying about going the distance was their jobs. Why they tried to shoehorn them in as both having careers in almost dead industries felt cheap. Sort of like The Green Hornet being the heir to a newspaper. I think thats from that movies origins though.

    Especially her as a reporter. I think unless you are some established name or a head editor you have to be writing for like 5 different papers and online and more to be making a living at it.

    • Jarv says :

      It bugged me actually, because he could quite easily have not been such a dick and moved- especially seeing as in the end he just dropped everything and went to LA.

      I was thinking- so you couldn’t have gone to SF, got a fucking job in an office and found a band to manage in the evenings? There’s loads of bands in SF/ Bay Area.

      It’s because he was a pathetic bitch and total girlie-man.

      PS- Koutch, I’m not surprised that phone sex thing has happened to you. Premium rate lines can lead to all sorts of embarrassment.

  2. koutchboom says :

    Bahahahah Christian Alvart is following me again on Twitter!!!

    He followed me last time I mentioned Pandorum. I think he just has a setting where if someone mentions his films he follows them.

    Someone told me his early movie is worth checking out. It certainly has a Droid friendly poster:

    http://www.moviesharkdeblore.com/assets/images/Antibodies_poster.jpg

  3. Bartleby says :

    Droid,

    Have you seen the Sanctum director’s first movie, Kokovoda (or something like that?)

    Its a war film. Want to do that for Dingos?

    • koutchboom says :

      You see Sanctum? Also how was The Rite?

      • Bartleby says :

        Sanctum is tomorrow night. The Rite was decent, albeit a bit mismarketed. It’s not really this creepfest with Hopkins at the center like it seems. He’s far more a supporting player than the trailers suggest. He doesnt even show up for a half hour.

        Halfstrom doesnt have a great sense ofr pacing, and this has similar structural problems to 1408 although its a better movie.

        I guess my big thing is it takes the devil story very seriously–like it wants you to believe it–and excises all the more lurid stuff of Exorcist but in the end , its still down to cgi fx and body contortions and GOOD vs EVIL.

        Ive got a review written for it. I’ll post it when I get a chance.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah thats what I’ve heard I’ll probably check it on DVD. Sounds like its time to put Halfstrom on the boat home. His movie Evil was awesome.

    • Droid says :

      Kokoda? As in the Kokoda trail? I’ve not seen that one. But I think I might have that on a disk somewhere.

  4. koutchboom says :

    As for Trick r’ treat. I enjoyed it. I think its interesting, had a few funny moments. Most anthology horror films or any for that matter usually don’t work fully and Trick r’ treat is one the better ones.

    • Bartleby says :

      I agree with you.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I was trying to remember of all this horrible child death in the movie. I’m sure its probably there, I think the fat kid from Bad Santa is killed? But Droid makes it sound all dirty like TP when he talks about it.

        If anything seeing how someone can react so violently against it I can now see how the movie may have gotten fucked in test screenings.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t. TrT is unforgivably shit, and no amount of “anthology horror” revisionism can change that.

      • koutchboom says :

        I think Droid is still upset he wasn’t invited to Bryan’s party:

        http://blogs.indiewire.com/thelostboy/archives/roland_emmerich_bryan_singers_big_gay_soiree/

      • Droid says :

        haha! Good old koutch. Can’t back up his argument so goes straight for his Roland Emmerich gay party image (which seems a little too accessible). Classic koutchboom.

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw thats my whole argument. I don’t really give a shit about Trick R’ Treat. Besides you never answered my question about all the child murder you saw. What scene specifially? I really don’t remember, except for the Bad Santa kid.

      • Droid says :

        Your whole argument is a photo of a couple of gay filmmakers?

        You never asked me a question.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m mildly curious about seeing this one now. I didn’t give a shit prior to this conversation. I’ll get it when I get home.

        I’m working tonight and kids being slaughtered will make nice background noise.

      • Droid says :

        Good luck with that. I’d warn you against it if it would make any difference.

      • Jarv says :

        Probably won’t, and Mrs. Jarv is in a mood about Schlocky nonsense at the moment.

      • Jarv says :

        There’s been a lot of weird revisionism around here recently:

        Anderson isn’t terrible.
        TrT is good

        That sort of thing.

      • koutchboom says :

        Hopefully ‘Black Swan’ is a shitty movie will be the next one.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, you’ll come around.

      • Jarv says :

        I think you’re alone with that one.

      • koutchboom says :

        Did you finally see it? I think that VFX clip pretty much shows how useless the fucking movie is.

      • Jarv says :

        No.

        Got fucking trashed on Friday night, then stoned on Saturday so was incapable of moving off the sofa. Will try this Wednesday.

      • koutchboom says :

        Your better off on the sofa.

      • Bartleby says :

        Jarv,
        No real revisionism. PT Anderson isn’t good. I never said that. And I was wrong bout RE4. Saw about ten minutes of it sans the 3D and it’s terrible. So take my lukewarm kind review and drop it by about a star.
        I just don’t foam at the mouth with hate for him like the two of you do.

        As for TRT, its not a movie many of us have seen, so there’s no revisionism to be had. I saw it before anyone else here back in 2009, and liked it then. My review was originally at Cinematropolis and then reprinted. Most people I show it to like it. Kloipy didn’t, but that made it it me, him and Koutch who had seen it.

        Now Droid doesn’t like it. Its 2 to 2 then. I respect his opinion, but that hardly puts it in the camp as some awful thing that suddenly everyone decides they like.

      • koutchboom says :

        I’m just glad that Droid is worried about the kids, someone has to care. Seriously? What other child deaths was there beyond that Bad Santa fuck?

      • Jarv says :

        I didn’t mean specifics. I meant in general. It wasn’t a dig. And PWSA is NOT good.

        Frank said it best- the reason he’s so bad is that he’s a mid-budget director covering genre projects on things we are all disposed to like and every time makes a terrible film.

      • Spud McSpud says :

        I’ve REALLY got to get watching the unwatched DVDs in my pile. I’ve had TRICK’R’TREAT for about three years and not yet watched it – though Mrs Spud-To-Be is reticent seeing as how much she loves the 80s rock horror (I thought it was fun but forgettable, and the best thing about it was the soundtrack) and doesn’t want the name tainted by a shitty new movie.

        Must get to watching it now.

        If you’re up for gratuitous kid murders that aren’t TP but still pack a wallop, might I suggest THE CHILDREN? Fun little flick, a very Carpenter-esque concept: a virus caught by pre-pubescent kids causes them to feel sick, then get a nose-bleed, then tool up and go all homicidal on the adult population. Needless to say, shit gets gory, and there’s a couple of properly wince-inducing deaths. That good-looking douche from the Natalie Imbruglia TORN video and Casualty gets a nice exit, and Kara Tointon’s hot sis Hannah Tointon (The Inbetweeners) is the main character. There’s a nice chilling last scene too, which conjures up all sorts of excellent ideas about sequels and expansion on the story as is.

        Yep, THE CHILDREN is a fun, eerie movie. Then watch the extras on the DVD afterwards – the kids LOVED the gory SFX!

      • koutchboom says :

        UH OH!!! Does The Children have child death in it per chance? If so, some folks round her abhor such behavior.

  5. koutchboom says :

    As for Trick r’ treat. I enjoyed it. I think its interesting, had a few funny moments. Most anthology horror films or any for that matter usually don’t work fully and Trick r’ treat is on the better end of that.

  6. koutchboom says :

    Bahahahahahah I can’t remember if someone here really liked the book Enders Game, for some reason I think Jarv really does. But if you do this’ll make you wanna jump off a cliff!

    http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/archives/alex_kurtzman_roberto_orci_producing_gavin_hoods_enders_game/

  7. Bartleby says :

    Awesome..the bad movie fest near my house just announced its thursday movie is Deadly Prey!

  8. Bartleby says :

    Jarv. Mind if I link over to your review of DP—maybe provide an excerpt? Im gonna put up a local article about the Mondo Film event here in B-more and don’t have enough time to write a review.

  9. koutchboom says :

    Heheh speaking of Child Death…Droid don’t watch Case 39. Even if you really wanna see Al Swearengen break someones jaw with a freezer door.

  10. Droid says :

    hehe

    If only we could monitor Jarvs blood pressure!

    Michael Dougherty

    Writer
    I, Lucifer (2010)
    Trick ‘r Treat (2007)
    Superman Returns (2006)
    X2 (2003)

    • Jarv says :

      Groan.

      I know.

      At least Ewan McGregor isn’t still in it.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Hola people, I saw the mechanic over the weekend. Very stupid, very Statham, quite entertaining in a leave brain at door way.

        I hated the ending though. Wont spoil for those not familiar with the Bronson original, but the original made sense.

        This one was really did not except to set-up *minor spoiler* mechanic 2

  11. Bartleby says :

    Koutch, you usually appreciate things like this. My fave bit of Case 39 was the Nadasha Brennicke song that played over the end credits. Did you notice it?

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah I listened to it, it was cool. Don’t recognize the name though. That movie had an interesting score though. It never fully comes alive but it had a few moments. Devil I thought had a great score, a little bombastic but it was cool.

      My favorite part in Case 39 was freezer door to the face, that whole break in scene was violent as fuck really. Too bad the rest of the movie sort of pussies out afterward. The Brad Coops death was ok. That and Pandorum man I really dig Alvert’s style he just needs a more original script or something. Both those movies were better then they should’ve been.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve had Case 39 for ages, never brought myself to watch it. Firstly I don’t like zellweger very much and I only recently learnt that the Bag of Cocks is in it. But I wasn’t interested in Pandorum and that turned out better than expected, so I’m strangely intrigued to see if the director can overcome my dislike for the two actors.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well theres a good bit where they talk about how smug B Coops is. I’m sort of indifferent toward Zwellwinger, but she was fine in the role. Could’ve been anyone. The one scene where she shows her lack of range luckily was in the deleated scenes. I wonder if she’s fucked for roles now because she’s too much like the Grey’s Anatomy chick, which is bigger then she is right now.

      • Bartleby says :

        I didn’t like Case 39. Just slapped together and none of it was very good. Its not interesting like Pandorum. CA tries to make it work, but can’t. Koutch is right about the home raid in the beginning being the best bit.
        There is a good dig at B(of)C though. One kid tells him ‘ You make people want to hurt you. Because of the way that you are.’

      • koutchboom says :

        I will give credit for Case 39 for following through with it at the end, the alternate ending was weak, something we’ve seen a million times. Its like a C movie well made, nothing wholly that new but at least it was some remake/redo.

      • koutchboom says :

        But yeah that home raid at the begining is frightening and the movie never reaches that level again.

  12. Jarv says :

    Urgh Yuck.

    “Visionary Director” Snyder is in charge of new Superman.

    Fucking hell. Slo mo, real estate, and luthor await.

    • Jarv says :

      Fuck me, this dumb cow can’t even string an argument together and then grossly misinterpreted one of the characters to make a point.

      • Jarv says :

        Man, she tried hard to ruin it. I can remember dialogue from it, and I’m a casualty of the 90′s.

      • koutchboom says :

        I liked Armonds review of Easy A, totally trashing it. I don’t fully agree with it but he’s right for the most part about it.

        Its here if you want to read it:

        http://www.nypress.com/article-21633-consumed-by-youth.html

      • Bartleby says :

        hes not right at all. Im not sure he even watched the movie prior to writing that.

      • koutchboom says :

        Ohh come Echo don’t be a Armond hater just because he hates. He brings up good points on Easy A and why its mostly trash. He obviously watched the movie. He may have gone in with his mind already made up but at least he watches his films unlike Ebert.

      • Jarv says :

        No he doesn’t- and to say this:

        But Easy A is now frontrunner for worst film of 2010.

        Is just utter bollocks.

        He’s just being a dick. I actually also doubt that he watched the film before reviewing it, the shit he trashes reeks of agenda and his remarks about The Scarlett Letter in particular suggest that he’s a literary snob offended that a teen film updated it.

        I’ve never read one of his reviews before, and won’t read another one, now. How the fuck do these people get these jobs?

  13. Jarv says :

    He’s fundamentally wrong. I actually stopped reading at this:

    She got that idea from her lit class reading assignment, Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, although she only watches the movie (and not the stirring 1926 Lillian Gish-Lars Hanson version but the drab Colleen Moore version that’s in public domain).

    Not true. She read it- the film states clearly several times. I hate lazy factual errors in reviews- it reminds me of those imbeciles in AICN who thought the Joker was the man that Caine was talking about in TDK.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah she reads it, but I think she only says it once to Sandman. Eh you could be right though maybe he didn’t watch it, I read that sentence differently I thought he was just complaing that she watched a worse version of the movie. But reading it again he is saying that she only watched the movie.

      • Jarv says :

        He’s clearly basing that thing he says on the bit where she’s talking about the film versions- which is clearly a joke- and he’s completely misinterpreted it. I bet that was the point he stopped paying attention. In fact, now I think about it, she holds up the book and says she read it, but if you can’t be arsed watch the old one.

        She does also say it to Sandman.

        Dude’s a nob.

      • koutchboom says :

        I like him because he’s a funny nob at least. I do think though that he doesn’t have his shit edited because I’d read several of his reviews where sentences repeat and stuff. He’s very full of himself and is the sort of critic from the 90s that made you hate critics, but now all critics have become self rightous gang mentality about films its fucking pathetic.

      • Jarv says :

        That was a particular bad review, though- and what the fuck is he doing trying to juxtapose those two films? They’re totally different.

      • koutchboom says :

        He’s trying to make the review seem more important then it is as both films are some study of the teenage life and how niether of them do a good job at it.

        I like that he tries to guess/make up what the soul of the movie is. Like he goes over what the purpose of a movie may actually be or how off it is in what it’s trying to preach. Where its a very vauge thought and most movies probably don’t put as much thought into that idea as he does.

        Like Easy A I don’t think the writers were doing anything more then trying to make a silly comedy, where as he’s tried to make comments on its views of kids in modern times.

      • Jarv says :

        I think they were attempting to “clueless” The Scarlett Letter, and didn’t do a bad job. He’s just completely missing the point about it, and seems to think it was preaching some kind of nihilistic teen “it’s fine if kids are BLAH” film, when the reverse is actually true.

        He’s just picked completely the wrong film to go for on that front.

        Does he actually like anything?

      • Jarv says :

        Right- he likes Repo Chick. I get it now. He’s attempting to be some kind of arbiter of taste and only likes ludicrously esoteric films.

        And this is PURE wankery

        http://www.nypress.com/article-22020-better-than-list-2010.html

        He seems to have a right downer on The Social Network. How is Scott Pilgrim better than Inception, by the way (says someone that has seen neither), let alone Jonah Hex being better than True Grit? He just comes across as completely joyless.

      • koutchboom says :

        He liked Edge of Darkness!

        Check out his better than list:

        http://www.nypress.com/article-22020-better-than-list-2010.html

        I mean you gotta read his stuff with a grain of salt, if you go in just getting pissed that he’s shitting over some HAROLDED movie then yeah you’ll hate him. But he makes for interesting reads some times. I particually liked his Shutter Island review:

        http://www.nypress.com/article-20919-shutter-to-think.html

      • Jarv says :

        I was just looking at it. He’s just a miserable pretentious cunt. Mike fucking Leigh FFS!

        It’s like he’s decided in advance what is worthwhile and what isn’t.

      • Jarv says :

        FFS!

        Zack Snyder’s such a compelling visionary he can credibly turn owls into human surrogates while resurrecting the moral meaning of narrative

        He’s the anti-harry. Equally full of shit, but hating on everything popular.

      • Droid says :

        Who is this guy that you’re talking about?

      • Jarv says :

        Some douchebag reviewer. Check out that better than link I posted (and Koutch posted).

        Guy’s a cock

      • Droid says :

        written by unsung geniuses Neveldine-Taylor

        Embarrassing. At first glance he seems like he’s trying really hard to be controversial. And that will remain my opinion because I’m not interested in a second glance.

      • Droid says :

        If I want to read a completely ludicrous, off the mark film review, I’ll read Jonahs review of Trick r’ Treat!

        hehe

      • Jarv says :

        He’s not. He’s trying to be ludicrously erudite.

        For example- the other things he cites- saying some fucking Mike Leigh film is better than TSN- it’s bollocks, they don’t compare.

        He does that a lot. In the Repo Chick review he talks about Searchers 2.0 in the most ridiculously glowing terms- like he wants to get down on his knees and guzzle cox’s cox. It’s like he’s trying to find most obscure thing to rave about- he’s a hipster with a decent vocabulary.

      • Jarv says :

        I am too- but what he’s written there is basically agenda first, criticism second and to have to make things up to support his argument really shoots it down.

        It’s like that stupid feminist review of it- she had to bend things out of shape to fit her already decided agenda.

      • Bartleby says :

        cite me for bad taste, at least I describe the movie I saw. And that’s actually a pretty good review, I thought. Not my best, but I think you are blowing the idea of TRT way out of porportion. I think Jarv should see it and weigh in.

      • koutchboom says :

        And again, where are all these child deaths you were screaming about? I honestly don’t remember.

      • Droid says :

        Is stating I hated TrT “blowing the idea of TRT way out of proportion”? But hang on… You said you liked it!? Oh man! So you’re blowing the idea of TRT way out of proportion too! When will the madness of blowing TrT out of proportion end!?

      • Bartleby says :

        Thurman Murman is the only ‘on screen’ child death. You hear screams in the bus segment but its nothing explicit.

        The entire movie isnt all that explicit. It’s just a fun 80′s esque throwback, at least to my eyes. I remember Kloipy saying that the Dylan Baker thread threw him off, because he was worried the dad was gonna turn out to be a pedophile (I think that was Kloipy’s position anyway).

        I never got that and took it as just a straight forward piece of schlock. It’s like a PTales of the cRypt or soemthing. You also never said anything descriptive other than negative connotations and child murder abotu what bothered you about it.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well its hard to see Dylan and NOT think he’s gonna end up a pedophile. He did give us one of the most (if not the most) creepy pedo performances of all time.

      • koutchboom says :

        You also never said anything descriptive other than negative connotations and child murder abotu what bothered you about it.

        Yeah Droid can be a bit Armond at times when it comes to films. I still never heard his reaction to Black Swan other than ITS GREAT!

      • Bartleby says :

        Droid,

        I left two words out there by mistake. I meant the idea of it being ‘violent and awful’. Im sorry. I meant from my perspective you were blowing the idea of TRT being terrible out of proportion. I still hold you are being oddly aggressive towards it. Although I assume your slamming of my review was a joke.

        .

      • Droid says :

        huh? I’ve not taken any of what you or koutch have said seriously. I’ve been playing along. It seems like you guys were getting a bit up in arms over the movie. Me? I was just going with what I’ve already said about it. It’s crap. No getting in a tizz over such a shitty movie for me.

        That was a joke about your review. I was just goofing. I’m pretty sure you can take someone poking fun at your review, when said person has already stated his dislike for the film. I never said anything about if its a well written review or not, just saying that its off the mark. On the review, I pretty much disagreed with everything you liked about it. And the Anna Paquin storyline was terrible, and the payoff worse. I thought Brian Cox’s performance was pretty bad. But the entire Happiness blokes storyline was a complete misjudgement in tone. It tried for an almost lighthearted, physical comedy but the subject matter was so off putting that all it amounted to was a gigantic misfire of offensiveness. It doesn’t help that he does bring the Happiness baggage with him.

        I didn’t get any of the horror loving family halloween tradition vibe you got from a movie that was neither clever nor endearing. All I saw was a pretty dull, not as clever as it thinks, narratively incoherent, unpleasant but thankfully forgettable movie.

      • Droid says :

        If the Happiness scenes had the courage of it’s convictions and played it as black comedy, not screwball physical comedy, then I believe it could’ve worked. Maybe. But kicking and whacking a 10 year old kid who you’re trying to bury alive in the backyard while hilariously being interrupted by your son yelling out the window about reading a bedtime story, or the whacky old guy next door asking you questions through an eyehole in the fence simply isn’t funny any way you look at it. For me anyway.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        Yea, I don’t know. Im not upset or up in arms. I just noted that your last post had alot of exclamation marks in it and read sort of erratically, so

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        Yea, I don’t know. Im not upset or up in arms. I just noted that your last post had alot of exclamation marks in it and read sort of erratically, so I corrected the sentence to include what was missing.

      • Droid says :

        I was being facetious.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        I stand by my review though. I’d recommend as a fun movie about Halloween. It’s a bit more violent than it needed to be, and honestly if it had skewed younger it might have been better. But I think a horror fan wont go too wrong watching it.

      • Droid says :

        But I think a horror fan wont go too wrong watching it.

        I guess that makes me proud not to be a horror fan then.

      • koutchboom says :

        I haven’t been getting up in arms about the movie. Like I said I didn’t really care I was just confused about all the child death that hurt you I counldn’t remember that Echo cleared up.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m completely confused by this.

        Oh, and I’m still at work. Which sucks balls frantically. Much like a hooker that’s one trick short of her next fix sucks cock. That’s how fucking frantic it is. I fucking hate my job.

        Oh, and one of my bosses let slip that the only reason I exist is to do the fucking website (which I knew) and all the actual marketing shit they pump into my job description is to get it past head office.

        Why not just tell me that to begin with? I’d have been off probation ages ago if I hadn’t fucked around with shit like the press to try to kiss some ass.

        Fucking hell, I’m good at the website.

        I’m now writing a prospectus (despite the same cunt telling me that I can’t write). I’ve got to have it done by tomorrow. Bah.

      • Jarv says :

        Right. Fuck this.

        I’m taking it home.

  14. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Ok, final word on Trick R Treat. Just pointing out Im not off my rocker for enjoying it. The dreaded last bastion of opinion support, I give you…

    The tomato-meter and its 85% fresh: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/trick_r_treat/

    • Droid says :

      I thought we established that Rotten Tomatoes was worthless when Splice got over 70% “fresh”.

      I don’t have a problem with you, or anyone else, liking the movie. You just need toaccept that I didn’t. I’ve read your review and know why you like it. I don’t agree, and you’ve read my comments on the film and know why I don’t like it. Surely we can leave it at that. Showing me RT scores (to what? strengthen your argument?) doesn’t make a difference to me.

      • Jarv says :

        What!

        Motherfucker.

        That film has 100% approval from everyone I’ve given it to.

      • koutchboom says :

        ASSIMILATE OR DIE!

      • Droid says :

        I choose… DIE!

      • koutchboom says :

        Bahaha naw you know your ass would fall right in line if forced to. Look at your opinion of Black Swan.

      • koutchboom says :

        And to be fair about The Social Network. Its not a terrible film, its very watchable, its not not very deep or important. If Mark Zuckerberg had raped a girl then Lifetime would’ve made just as interesting of a movie that was a little more factually accurate.

        I mean Social Network is sort of about rape, the sneeky financial rape of Spiderman by Zuckerberg.

      • Droid says :

        Nah, I’m not like you. I don’t decide to hate a film prior to seeing it and count the amount of shots of feet to use as an argument against it. I will give a film a shot, and either like or dislike it on it’s merits.

      • Jarv says :

        I admit to being prepared to like that. So meh, I’m a mindless drone.

        However, if I hate it, then I’ll probably be ruder than anyone else.

        PS. I’m currently listening to Chino XL in the vague hope that it will help me over this hideous writers block on the prospectus.

        It’s not working. I’ve already tried “Got yourself a gun” and Massive Attack.

        I may have to resort to Housey Housey Volume 1 (hehehehehehe). I feel like that cunt in Splice who can master cloning if the right music is playing, but I don’t feel any need to fuck a manimal.

      • Droid says :

        All you need is music and a montage. Hey presto!

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah you guys are totally wrong about me going in hating it. I’ve liked Darren’s stuff before, I was more concered why people were really into ballet all of the sudden just because of the film. I wanted to like Black Swan I really did, but the movie totally blew and was so shallow. Everything everyone has said about the film was wrong as well. The whole movie is sort of a joke and the whole ‘OH Portman trained for 10 months’ yet all of her ballet scenes are just head replacement shots is even more embarrassing. I don’t think Mickey Rourke had to get face replacement done for his work in The Wrestler.

        And also you’ve never explained why you like black swan, so it feels like you like because your suppose to.

      • Droid says :

        Mickey Rourke has had face replacement long before The Wrestler. Just look at him. Fucker should be in Madame Tussauds.

      • koutchboom says :

        HEY O!!!!!!!! He should’ve been the star of Black Swan at least then I would’ve known that the ballet was real.

      • Jarv says :

        His old face is.

        It’s hanging on the wall with the other Guillotine masks.

      • koutchboom says :

        Naw his old face has been pulled up and it now the back of his head.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        This is the internets. It’s about discussion, not acceptance. I don’t think it’s a brawl. I’m providing evidence for anyone else who might want to see it that it may in fact not be the sadistic mess you imply it to be. And rotten tomatoes meter might mean jack, but it does in fact point out this isn’t ‘revisionist’ regarding the fact the critical consensus at large favored it more than you.

      • Jarv says :

        That was my fault.

        Apologies.

      • Droid says :

        And I’m pointing out that the critical consensus can often be misleading.

  15. Droid says :

    So Jonah, the internets isn’t about the acceptance of another persons opinion? So you demand that I agree with you no matter what?

    • Jarv says :

      NOOOO

      FUCK THAT!!! AGREE WITH ME!!! I’M ALWAYS RIGHT!!!

      MOTHERFUCKER!!!

      (you can’t see, but I’m mooning this very serious conversation).

      However, I’ve now put hit em up on, and bashed out the art section. Now for Drama!!!

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      no, of course not. What I meant was it goes beyond whether you Droid liked it or disliked it. I would never suggest you change your opinion of it. But sometimes, on the internet, it’s easy for one opinion to suggest something is a certain way. I was , admittedly in my favor, offering a broader array of opinions. You know Ive never asked you to like soemthing I didnt. I said that in the beginning.

      But, Im not a guy who likes sadistic movies, and with Buried, Im just trying to give adequate proof that your view might be a bit diff than the ones most are likely to have.

      That’s all, I promive.

      • Droid says :

        I’m the first to admit that sometimes I can get all koutch and take a strong disliking to movies most other people like. But as the cliche goes, the world would be a boring place if we all agreed on the same thing. Peaceful, maybe. But very, very boring.

      • Jarv says :

        True to an extent. Unless everyone agreed with me. Then it would be utopia. Because I’m always right.

        Drama done.*

        On to Music.

        *I’ve got a feeling I shouldn’t be doing this. It feels all very academic and I haven’t a scoob what I’m writing. I think a teacher should be doing it.

      • Droid says :

        And being right has never been so wrong.

      • Jarv says :

        Or felt so goooood.

        I’m now out of wine. Luckily there was just enough orange juice to make a vodka and orange.

  16. koutchboom says :

    Oh yeah anyone else feeling like The Kings Speech is going to end up taking best picture?

    • Droid says :

      Wouldn’t be surprised. That or TSN.

      • Jarv says :

        Fucking hope not.

        Seriously. I’ve got a real downer on that film, and I want it to fuck off to Sunday afternoon British TV where it belongs.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well thats what I’m saying its been TSN for a long time now, but it seems like a last minute upset with The Kings Speech may happen.

      • Droid says :

        I’d like Black Swan or even 127 Hours to win. Actually I’d be really happy if 127 Hours won.

      • Jarv says :

        If TSN wins, this is ANOTHER classic case of the academy giving the gong to the wrong film. Should have been Zodiac.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah. Like giving Rusty the Best Actor award for Gladiator when it should’ve been for The Insider the year before.

      • Droid says :

        Or the fucking ROTK fiasco.

      • Jarv says :

        No fucking way is ROTK better than either City of God or Master and Commander.

        No way. Not ever.

        They usually retrospectively give it Koutch- for example, Colour of Money was an OK performance, but hardly Newman’s best performance.

      • koutchboom says :

        Well duh I fucking know thats why i said it…but Bridges isn’t that old yet and low and behold he gives a much better performance this year then he did last. Granted last years best actor race was a lot weaker to beging with compared to this year. And its Bridges so you can’t feel bad the dude abides.

      • koutchboom says :

        Or if Colin Firth wins for The Kings Speech and it should’ve been A Single Man? And it should’ve been Bridges for Tron (or Grit if you will) this year instead of Crazy Heart last year?

        No way will Swan win, I’m hoping for a complete shut out like always. Again this is me thinking Beatty is still as important as he thinks. I don’t know about a last minute 127 hours upset. But I think its between Network and Speech.

      • koutchboom says :

        The problem with a The Social Network win is that the movie will already be dated and forgotten faster than The Hurt Locker. At least A Kings Speech looks as if its sort of timelessness about it (I haven’t seen it so I don’t know). The Social Network winning is like giving credit for indulgent useless film making. That movie cost $50 million to make, while The Way Back cost $30 million. Where’d that fucking $45 million go in Network? That movie could’ve been made for 10 or less.

      • Droid says :

        Well, it’s who I’d LIKE to win, not what undeserving film I think it will go to.

      • koutchboom says :

        I’ll accept your 127 hours but not Black Swan. I don’t accept film makers dumbing/watering their shit down just to get awards.

      • koutchboom says :

        I actually think it would be REALLY fucking funny if Toy Story ended up winning best picture, but not Best Animated Picture. I know it’ll never happen but it would be funny.

      • Jarv says :

        Haven’t seen either.

        However, if Aronofsky wins- it’s another award for the wrong film- Requiem is a Tour de Force, and was well and truly shafted, particularly Burstyn.

      • koutchboom says :

        Really at the end of it, The Way Back should take everything thats the biggest mistake of it all. Give Ed Harris Supporting. Can’t believe the lack of anything for that film.

      • Droid says :

        I liked Harris in TWB, but no one seems to be mentioning Jim Sturgess at all! I thought he was excellent. And Colin Farrell as well. That film has a cast full of excellent performances.

      • koutchboom says :

        The thing about the performences in The Way Back is that, yes Sturgess is the lead, but its clearly an ensemble cast and he’s held up greatly by everyone else. I mean the movie made me know who he is, which is better then anything he’s done.

      • Jarv says :

        Ed Harris should have won for the Truman show

      • Droid says :

        Burstyn losing to Julia Fucking Roberts is one of the many criminal acts perpetrated by the Oscars.

      • koutchboom says :

        Requieme was too TOUGH (for lack of a better word) for it to be a real oscar contender. Sort of like City Of God.

      • koutchboom says :

        Maybe people are just jealous over Weir, because you got his films then you’ve got pretty much everything else. Truman Show/Master/The Way Back. I don’t think there’s been a director with 3 movies that good in a row in the same time frame. Possibly Boyle, but you guys done agree with all of Boyles films.

      • Droid says :

        I like Boyle, but his films are too consistently flawed. The third act meltdown of 28 Days Later, Sunshine and The Beach and in many respects the final questions on Slumdog can be called a third act meltdown. I love Shallow Grave but haven’t seen it since the 90′s. And I really need to watch Trainspotting again, because it’s been just as long. I haven’t seen Millions. The only film of his I didn’t like is the one with Diaz.

      • koutchboom says :

        You should see Millions its great. I don’t subscribe to the third act meltdown train of thought i like the beach (though I need to see it again) 28 days later and Sunshine all the way through.

        In fact its fucking crazy how 28 Days Later has “redifined” the zombie idea (call it zombie or not, I guess the horde concept, or the virus concept), which I think is really cool. I think I’ve liked all things spawned from 28 Days Later more than ones spanwed from Night Of The Living Dead. Even the comics right now (The Walking Dead and 28 Days Later) are almost neck and neck.

      • Jarv says :

        You’re half right. 3rd act meltdown:

        Shallow grave-no
        Trainspotting-no
        Life less ordinary: yes
        The beach: yes
        28 days later: yes
        Millions: no
        Sunshine: yes
        Slumdog: yes

      • Droid says :

        Well as long as you accept it then it makes it okay.

  17. Droid says :

    I watched SNL this weekend and whatshisface from TSN was hosting and Zuckerberg came on. Christ that douchebags a massive nerd.

  18. Frank Marmoset says :

    Oh, man, I just had the weirdest dream that people had been arguing for the better part of a day about Trick R Treat. And when I woke up… it turned out I had eaten my pillow!

    Ba-dum-TISH!

    Fank you, fank you. That’s all for tonight, folks. You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here. And remember… if you’re drinking, don’t drive; and if you drive, don’t drink.

  19. Jarv says :

    BRUTHA LYNCH HUNG!!!

    Man, I’d forgotten I took this with me when I left Death Row.

    Music done now, which is faintly ironic seeing as I had Brutha Lynch Hung on when I wrote it.

  20. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    I feel odd in that I actually think Kings Speech is best movie of the year (that Ive seen) and its the one likely to win. And yet, Id love for Black Swan to take it. Or 127 Hours. I think its because TKS is typical Oscar movie and those other two aren’t. It would be nice to see them trump the usual suspects.

    • Droid says :

      The thing about TKS is that it’s unremarkable. It does what it says on the tin. 127 Hours was a surprise. I didn’t expect it to be that good.

      • koutchboom says :

        The thing is if its not Kings Speech its going to be The Social Network. I think Boyle is coasting off his Slumdog sweep still and probably won’t get shit this time out. I think in these last couple of awards with The Kings Speech winning the last few its sort of anyones game at the moment. Maybe the votes on Speech and Network could be split and something else wins (possibly True Grit?) I don’t know. It’s either going to be an interesting Oscars or “for the 10th time tonight ‘The King’s Speech!’”. The thing about The Kings Speech is the Wienstiens, you can’t ever count them out come awards time, remember they got Shaksepare in Love a best picture win.

      • Droid says :

        I’m trying to forget.

  21. Frank Marmoset says :

    Anyone seen and willing to comment on The Tick?

    While re-watching Supernatural lately, I have fallen in comedy love with Ben Edlund, who writes all the funniest episodes. He also wrote funny episodes of Firefly (Jaynestown) and Angel (Smile Time), and I read on this here internet gizmo he invented The Tick. I was thinking of checking it out, in both cartoon and live action versions.

    • Droid says :

      I’ve heard of it, but never seen it. Does it have David Puddy from Seinfeld in it?

    • Echo the Bunnyman says :

      Frank, I like both incarnations of the tick. The Warburton one is dopey but I like Warburton so I enjoyed it. The cartoon is probably the better incarnation and it too was quite amusing. I’d gladly watch another Tick incarnation if they could get Warburton onboard. Basically, if they ask him he’ll say yes. Rules of Engagement cant go on forever.

    • LBronco says :

      I’m not a total fanboy-but The Tick is actually quite funny-especially if you are any kind of obscure superhero fan.

      The Tick went on for a bit too long-you want the tick to fucking actually fight a villain-which is more like me nit-picking.

      Definitely worth checking out.

  22. Jarv says :

    Am off to hang myself.

    The good Mrs. Jarv has just told me that the copy that I’ve written is perfect “champagne new labour”.

    Depressing.

    MUST WATCH SOME BOLLOCKS AND THEN USE THE WORD CUNT REPEATEDLY

    • Droid says :

      hehe

      Such a drama queen.

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck you.

        In the last two weeks, I’ve been told that I can’t write (not joking- I literally can’t write apparently). I like to think I write reasonably engaging shite very quickly, and then I turn out something tonally perfect and quintessentially whorish.

        It’s a bit of a kick in the nuts.

      • Droid says :

        Nary a CUNT in sight! I bowl a slow half tracker and you waft at it like you’re Paul Collingwood! Very disappointed in you. Such a missed opportunity!

        Try this one… Flash Gordon is crap!

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck you skippy.

        HAWKMEN, DIIIIIIIVE!

    • Spud McSpud says :

      Hey, I just Uwe Boll’s POSTAL. There’s so much for you to explode at in that movie, it’ll keep you going for days.

      In fairness, if you have your political correctness filter off and your sick sense of humour head on – as I did – it’s fucking hilarious. By no stretch of the imagination is it great, but it is competently made, and damn funny at times.Especially when an uncredited Emily Deschanel turns up as a reporter. If you last that long, you’ll see what I mean.

      It’s live-action SOUTH PARK. Great stuff, and it practically invites a Jarv review laden with some liberally scattered CUNT!s.

      Oh, and you’re a fine writer. Don’t doubt yourself.

      • LBronco says :

        What’s weird for me Spud-is that Boll is marginally improving over time-that’s the rumor at least.

        Unlike Asylum Pictures, he’s at least trying to improve.

        If only in an absurdist, german kind of way.

        It’s fascinating to me, at least-not that I’ve seen any of the newer pictures-but that’s the word on the street.

        I would laugh forever if the daft bastard suddenly made a comedy that grosses millions overnight.

        I’m not holding out hopes, by any means, but wouldn’t that be amazing!?!

    • LBronco says :

      Jarv, you are fucking excellent writer-Droid is as well-heck everybody that posts here are good.

      I’d be cheeky or flippant-but I can tell you and Droid are really getting hammered at work.

      Fuck them all-you guys should watch EvilSpeak and unwind.

      I won an online contest by being able to spot that little tidbit in under 10 seconds.

      I’m quite proud of myself, I am.

  23. LBronco says :

    Well-here’s one for the books- a gal pal of hours Des Boobs just announced on twitter that she’s going into labor!!!

    Time to be #professional, Girl!

    • koutchboom says :

      Wrong group of people LB.

      And his sanity’s only “so-so”.

      • LBronco says :

        K-

        I’m going to do you a favor and me a favor. This is the last time I will ever respond to anything you say.

        I ask politely that you return the favor.

        I can block you on twitter-but here I cannot.

        You have become probably the stupidest poster I’ve run across since my 4Chan/YTMND days, and that’s saying alot.

        I actually think you are some kind of manic-depressive narcissist type after the last 6 months or so-but I really don’t give a shit what your life worries are.

        I’ve had more mental illness and death in my life than most people-none of which was my own.

        I truly enjoy listening to Jarv and my cool British friends chat-they bring an educated and witty perspective to movies and day to day life that I truly cherish and have learned much from-not to mention hearing things from a British/Australian perspective.

        The same cannot be said of you.

        I believe that most of the posters/contributors at this site have been forced to move on to greener pastures after seeing the talkbacks here where you needlessly spout one stupidity after another.

        Not to criticize, but I believe that Jarv and Droid are simply too polite to out and out block/ban your stupid ass. Maybe they simply can’t.

        So, let’s see.

        Can you at least do me that favor?

        Simply put-can we give each other the silent treatment, and things will be fine?

        It would be better for the both of us, either way.

        Yours Truly,

        LB

      • koutchboom says :

        Seriously LB, Desboobs is an Aintitbalenews thing not a Wolves thing. I don’t know whats so hard to keep straight.

  24. koutchboom says :

    AND SO BEGINS THE GREAT TCM OSCAR MONTH! Tonight they showed Breathless and are about to show The Rain People. Really looking forward to that. Anyone seen it?

  25. koutchboom says :

    As cool as Battle of LA looks I can’t get past “From The Director of ‘Darkness Falls’ and ‘Texas Chainsaw 2 The Sequel (Now with less chainsaw battle!)’”.

  26. Droid says :

    Only watched a couple of Dexter eps last night. I’m officially 2/3rds the way through season 3 and it’s a TRILLION times better than season 2. Not quite as good as season one, but not far off, because s1 had big flaws storywise.

  27. Droid says :

    We need a new Rec Room. And I’ve forgotten how to do it.

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