Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- June 2012 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang 

June, it’s hot, dry and I can’t sleep for the mating sounds of Graboids in the background.  Sounds like Don Murphy competing in the hot dog eating competition. Better break out the Elephant Gun. 

Disclaimer: This is the part of the Church that is the most no holds barred. None of it is intended with malice, and although it can on occasion seem a little bit fraught, it is banter rather than venom. So, be warned that this is like taking a naked swim in a piranha tank and not recommended for the faint of heart.

2,163 responses to “Burt Gummer’s Rec Room- June 2012 Archive”

  1. Jarv says :

    Droid- what do you think about the latest IT fuckup at RBS? Useless fucking cunts.

    • Droid says :

      You mean the bank not processing payments for 3 days? Collossal fuck up. Imagine the headache cleaning up after that mess. Especially as it happened around the standard pay day time, when a hell of a lot of standing orders etc go out.

      Dickheads.

      • Jarv says :

        Apparently, they fired 1200 IT staff and outsourced it to India to save money. Nice one. Cretins.

      • Jarv says :

        I don’t know how it happened, to be honest. I’ve done a lot of work in IT (of sorts) with Websites and new software/ databases and the following things should have stopped it:

        1) Proper QA testing before it went anywhere near live data
        2) Proper backup just in case of total failure and a need to revert
        3) Implemented in stages with a backup between each stage, just in case the latest bit didn’t work and they needed to go back to when it was stable
        4) Crisis plan in the event of TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION

        I don’t understand how they fucked it up so badly.

  2. Droid says :

    I officially don’t know where to start reviewing Cosmopolis.

  3. Jarv says :

    Three Avatar Sequels are shooting concurrently. Fuck me, talk about Overkill.

  4. Droid says :

    Jarv, what mobile phone provider are you on?

      • Droid says :

        Ah, okay. I’m on o2 and was going to suggest you use their priority moments offer. £5 off anything at HMV. I got Take Shelter on bluray for £3.

        Alas, you’re on Orange, so ignore.

      • Jarv says :

        I tend to use the 2-1 Cinema thing a fair amount.

        Fucking Sightseers isn’t out until 30th November.

      • Droid says :

        That sucks. But the latter half of the year will be better than the first half, I strongly suspect. That, Argo, Silent Hill 2, Les Mis FTW! to name a few.

        This year has been poor. Very poor.

      • Jarv says :

        Not great.

        Got The Grey and Haywire coming. Hopefully they’ll be OK.

        Iron Sky looks like the best film I’ve seen so far this year! Iron Sky FTW!

      • Droid says :

        The Grey is probably the best film I’ve seen this year. I think it was when I ran through a list a few weeks ago.

        Not really interested in Haywire.

      • Jarv says :

        Which reminds me, have you seen The Raid- I saw a preview for it on the White Collar screener (not misery porn), and thought it looked fairly mint until “REDEFINES ACTION CINEMA: AINT IT COOL NEWS” at the end.

        Second half of the year for me:

        TDKR, Total Recall, Dredd, Expendables 2 (I know), Taken 2, Argo, Cloud Atlas, Skyfall, Silent Hill, The Hobbit, Sightseers.

        Looks fairly good. There’s a lot of shit that I’m just not interested in (Reacher, Spidey)

      • Jarv says :

        Looking at that, there’s a high chance of suck for TR, Dredd, E2, T2, and Skyfall.

        Ang Lee’s making the Life of Pi. When can we expect your review?

      • Jarv says :

        Some possible Woody Goodness: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Psychopaths

        Also has Olga Kurylenko in it.

      • Jarv says :

        Forgot KTS and Lawless.

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, I can’t wait for that.

      • Droid says :

        What’s Life of Pi? Never heard of it.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s an award winning novel. Has a tiger.

      • Jarv says :

        Without a hat.

      • Droid says :

        Oops. Nope. You’ve lost the sale.

      • Jarv says :

        Actually, I was taking the piss. I think it’s an atrocious book- it did win the Booker Prize (Which should give you a clue).

        I also think it’s unfilmable. It’s about an Indian Boy stuck on a raft with a tiger and some other animals.

        In reality, The Tiger (Pi) is actually a metaphor for his inner beast as he killed and ate all the crew. But it’s 400 pages of him trying not to fall in the bit of the raft with the tiger, before some nonsense with acid pooping monkeys.

        You like Ang Lee, though, so maybe he can do something with it.

      • Droid says :

        I sometimes like Ang Lee. I haven’t seen all his movies, but some work some don’t. Hulk FTW!!! (had to be done)

        That sounds like a pretty shitty story though.

      • Jarv says :

        As a rule, I don’t.

        Like: The Ice Storm.

        Don’t like: Crouching Tiger (if I wanted to watch Jane Austen, then I would watch Jane Austen), Brokeback (yawn), Hulk (FTF),

        I think that’s all I’ve seen.

      • Droid says :

        Apart from Hulk FTW, I liked TIS. CTHD and Sense and Sensibility were alright. Didn’t like Ride with the Devil. Haven’t seen Bumback, or Lust, Caution, or Taking Woodstock. Or his early films.

      • Jarv says :

        Forgot Lust, Boredom. Orangutan of Doom. Nailed on.

        Ride with the Devil: shit.

        S&S: Shit, but I was never going to like that.

        Bumback is astonishingly boring. It’s a relief when Gyllenhall gets kicked to death.

      • Droid says :

        I’d be annoyed at you for spoiling it, if I gave a shit.

        S&S is like the Ephron convo earlier. It is exactly what you expect it to be. You know what it is going in, and whether you’re going to like it or now. I’m not sure why you even bothered watching it.

      • Jarv says :

        Hot woman.

      • Droid says :

        You’ve sold me.

      • Droid says :

        I haven’t. I acquired a copy, but it was so lousy that I didn’t bother watching it.

        July-December…

        TDKR, Lawless, Gangster Squad, Killing Them Softly, End of Watch (sorta), Looper (because it’s time travel), Sinister, Taken 2, Argo, The Master, Of Men and Mavericks (because it’s Curtis Hanson), Silent Hill: Revelation 3D, Flight, Seven Psychopaths (!!!), Skyfall, Les Misérables, Zero Dark Thirty, Jack Reacher, Django Unchained, The Great Gatsby (curiosity gets the better of me).

        Can’t say I’m that interested in The Hobbit or Cloud Atlas. That’s not to say I won’t see them. Probably will. Just I’m not really looking forward to them.

        But that’s a big list. Especially compared to how many I was interested in in the the first half of the year.

      • Jarv says :

        TDKR, Lawless, Gangster Squad, Killing Them Softly, End of Watch (Not really), Looper (yuck), Sinister (fuck no. This year’s insidious), Taken 2, Argo, The Master, Of Men and Mavericks (maybe), Silent Hill: Revelation 3D, Flight, Seven Psychopaths (!!!), Skyfall, Les Misérables (Gone in to before, but no), Zero Dark Thirty, Jack Reacher (maybe- although Cruise is totally wrong for it), Django Unchained(No. Cokey does Western. No thanks), The Great Gatsby (Yuck).

        I love the book Cloud Atlas, so am quite looking forward to it.

      • Droid says :

        I like Hawke, so I’ll see Insinister.

      • Jarv says :

        I do too, but it looks like utter gash. Really awful, actually.

        Do you want me to see what’s on in Frightfest?

      • Droid says :

        Yeah, they’re announcing the films at the end of this month I think.

      • Jarv says :

        Just checked. 29th.

        Where you going away to this year?

      • Droid says :

        We’re supposed to be going to barcelona next month for a long weekend. Need to book and whatnot.

      • Droid says :

        I heard Hugh Grant on the radio a while back talking about Cloud Atlas. He’s a cannibal or something. I may see it just for that.

      • Jarv says :

        Cloud Atlas is 4 or 5 stories- the two men on the ship, the detective story, modern day, and the far future.

        Runs from the ship in the far past to the future and then back to the past. They’re all interlinked. It’s hella complicated.

      • Jarv says :

        Shite. Gone right off it. Twyker directing (good, I like him) with the Wachowskis (bad).

        Hanks completely miscast as Dr. Goose.

        It’s 7 stories. I forgot 3 of them. Not sure who this cannibal is though.

      • Jarv says :

        Going more and more off it: Berry miscast as Meronym.

        They’ve spent $140m on it. That’s going to bomb, and bomb hard.

        This should never have had that budget. Seriously, that’s obscene.

      • Jarv says :

        $140m.

        Fucking hell. What a waste of money. Hopefully this will kill the Wachowski things’ career stone dead.

  5. Droid says :

    I watched the Alex Cross trailer last night. Looks shit.

  6. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Few tidbits. Insinister was written by Massawyrm. Expect gash.

    Jarv, when you see Grey, watch for a flasback scene towards the end–they use (and credit) Jami Winans Ink score for a moment. Thought that was cool.

    Jarv were you able to set up an interview time with that guy? He sent me an email asking when we were going to review the movie. Said it opens on the 2nd OR something.

    I didnt mind Life of Pi. Not as clever as it think it is. Movie will likely be pretentious babble, unless they really embellish the fantasy of it.

    • Jarv says :

      2nd July?

      Will have it ready asap then.

      Haven’t heard back. I can’t get out of fucking work for it.

    • Jarv says :

      Only watched it last night. Bloody hell.

      Best hurry up then. I’ll do it tonight and get it to you. I’ll also do a swearier version for here.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        I’ve emailed him. No worries on the review. Whenever, if I have it by Friday I’ll put it up with the new slate. Lame sauce of offerings this week. Ted, People Like Us, Madea, Magic Mike (which I missed).

      • Jarv says :

        I’m struggling with it, because I don’t want to be rude and it is well made. But it’s not thematically coherent, and the last act is all over the shop.

      • Droid says :

        I foresee another pissed off filmmaker! You have the midas touch.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        shame, that. call it like you see it. Helps if its directors first thing, cause then you can talk about how he shows ‘promise’. heh.

        Fats is waxing poetic about how Nora Ephron kept his dad out of jail. dumbest story I ever heard grunted.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s not. It’s about his 4th or 5th.

        It’s not bad, don’t get me wrong, and the premise is good- it just doesn’t know what it wants to be.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        too many movies like this. guy said he sent you an email about a potential Monday interview.

      • Jarv says :

        4.55pm Monday.

        I’ll get the review done tonight then.

      • Jarv says :

        It went in to junk for some reason.

      • Droid says :

        Bit harsh.

      • Jarv says :

        Fuck knows why. I’d been responding to him as well.

        Never mind. Sorted for Monday.

      • Echo the Bunnyman says :

        thanks man…sorry for the hectic nature. I was sending it your way cause i was hoping it’d be something fun to do.

      • Jarv says :

        No, it’s cool- Just obscenely busy at work. I can duck out at 4.30pm and get there in time, but I can’t get away mid afternoon.

      • Droid says :

        I can duck out at 4.30pm

        So you can leave at your normal time then. That’s helpful.

      • Jarv says :

        This time of year, I’m in till 6.30 most days.

      • Droid says :

        That was where you made your error. Jarv doesn’t like “fun”. He likes hard times and misery. He’s enjoying it now that it’s more of a faff.

      • Jarv says :

        Look, I’m being all professional and whatnot.

        anyone know how to tape it using an Iphone?

      • Droid says :

        Press record.

      • Jarv says :

        Never mind. Found it.

        It’s under “Memo”.

        Thank you for the useful contribution.

      • Jarv says :

        That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.

      • Jarv says :

        What’s wrong with him? Seriously, why the fuck does he think that stupid fucking story about his inbred family and their legal “nightmare” is appropriate for an Obit.

        It’s not even a fecking nightmare. Pay the fucking fine, in instalments, and it goes away.

        Jesus.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Jarv and Bunnyman, why do you even bother going there or care about what goes on there?

        It just seems to aggravate you.

        The twitch days were great but long gone. When I last sawr the place it was filled with nothing but attention whore’s with ever more desperate sounding screen names to try and attract attention or trolls who have no life other than to attack people for liking something they don’t or just attacking someone because it makes them feel better about their own worthless lives.

        It was a maddening place. I really and truly felt so sorry for the people who seem incapable of finding anything else to do but post on aicn and then bitch about posting on aicn, but who continue to do it anyway.

        I would bet my bottom dollar that it still is the same if not worse.

        I get it that some shut ins or social misfits or just plain assholes need an outlet to vent their frustrations, and i truly feel sorry for some of them, but it does not mean i want to be around them anymore.

        That does not mean I will never go back. I am sure if/when Connery bites it or if another Godzilla or Doc Savage or Forbidden Planet movie comes out I could throw my two cents in, but why stay any longer than a minute at that place?

        Business is slow now so I have some free time on my hands to post here, but I wont go there. No way.

        I apologize if it appears that I am criticizing you for going there, not my intention. I am sure I visit sites -like National Review, that you would never step foot in. I just wonder what draws you back?

      • Jarv says :

        I’ve no idea TKD.

        I go to lots of places when I’m bored. I should stop looking, but when I see he’s reviewed something, I just can’t resist.

        I don’t post there any more.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Ha!

        Ok, well there is the old ‘train-wreck’ analogy, you just cannot look away.

        I get that

      • Jarv says :

        It’s worse than that. He’s just so mindblowingly bad. Nuclear meltdown bad.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        In other words, the same harry. Ha!

        Ok, i really do get it about visiting the place because it is an atomic train wreck, but you should take your blood pressure meds before diving in.

        BTW have you ever watched Rob Lowes Atomic Train?

        I recommend you listen to George Clinton’s Atomic Dog first, just so your mind is in the right place.

      • Jarv says :

        Could follow Clinton with Ned’s Atomic Dutbin! http://www.allmusic.com/artist/neds-atomic-dustbin-mn0000324646

        Awesome. Well, not really.

      • Droid says :

        Then listen to Jarv’s number one favourite band in the whole wide world Atomic Kitten.

      • Jarv says :

        Ha!

        I remember back in 2001, I’d just started and we got an invite to some stupid party. A geezer I worked with got shot down by all 3 members of Atomic Kitten TWICE in a 25 minute period.

        Brazen, and persistent. It wasn’t a dead loss, as the bastard went home with a barmaid.

      • Droid says :

        If you have no shame you can always find someone with enough issues to sleep with you.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I just googled them, they are good looking girls – i assumed the worst, like they were some knuckle draggers.

        I had never heard of them before though.
        No shame in trying to get with that!

      • Droid says :

        The shame isn’t in trying to get with one of them. The shame is repeatedly trying to get with ANY of them.

      • Droid says :

        It’s like that idiotic The Game “negging” pick up bullshit. That’s all about the shameless process of trying and trying and trying. It doesn’t matter who it is, it just matters that you were successful or not.

      • Jarv says :

        Got to agree.

        Bullshit.

      • Jarv says :

        Back in 2001 they weren’t heinous to look at.

        This is one of them now:

      • Droid says :

        She’s shocking. What do the others look like?

      • Jarv says :

        No idea. She’s the one that got kicked out, and declined into rampant alcoholism, reality TV and spawning offspring.

        I would imagine the rest look better than that.

      • Droid says :

        Ah, okay. I didn’t know one got chucked out. I know next to nothing about them other than thinking they were easy on the eye when I saw them in a music video years ago.

      • Droid says :

        Easy on the eye, but not the ears.

      • Jarv says :

        Liz McClarnon was on Masterchef a few years ago. She’s looking rough (I had to look them up to find the names)

      • Jarv says :

        Not any more they ain’t. Which is weird, because they’re all early 30’s.

        Liz McClarnon is skeletal, while Katona needs her own postcode. They’re two normal sized women between them. No idea about the other 2

      • Jarv says :

        Oh, they were shite. Awful.

        They got properly fucked by the Industry as well.

      • Droid says :

        How many were there?

      • Jarv says :

        4 originally.

        One left, then Katona “left” and was replaced with another one.

        When they made it they were a trio.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        R2,
        Being unfamiliar with the group I have to temper my response.

        If this group of girls is notorious in the UK for disgusting acts or something unsavory, then I agree with what you say – up to a point.

        But, if it is just because you do not like their music, well the ears are not needed for what most men would have in mind.

        The pics i saw were of a good looking trio of women, maybe not the original group, but still if I were in a position back then-when i was not married, I might have thrown a hello or two at them – provided that their behavior was not something i was offended by or that they had some diseases!

      • Jarv says :

        They had drugs problems, one of them was done for public indecency, and they were pretty dreadful.

        I think he meant more the persistence of it.

      • Droid says :

        Yes, I was referring to the shameless persistence.

        Not one for shameless persistence myself. I don’t need to be told no twice.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Ha, well sometimes persistence pays off!

      • Jarv says :

        No, he never stood a chance. I saw it- it was shameful for all concerned. They were nice about it, first time, then second time flat out told him to fuck off.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I do agree that if you are just pursuing women for sport and will settle for any woman who might say yes then you are an immature farm animal and deserve what comes to such

    • Droid says :

      Another knock against Insinister. It’s from the guy who directed The Day the Earth Stood Still and The Exorcism of Emily Rose. That’s not a good sign.

  7. Droid says :

    Looking at that Scott Derrickson bloke’s wiki…

    Shite he’s been involved with…

    Urban Legends: Final Cut (1999) Screenwriter
    Dracula: 2000 (1999) (uncredited rewrite)
    Scream 4 (2011) (uncredited rewrite)

    Bullets dodged…

    The Birds (unproduced screenplay)
    Devil’s Knot (West Memphis Three story) (unproduced screenplay)
    Poltergeist (unproduced screenplay)

  8. Droid says :

    My sister told me a funny story. She was nannying for a family in London, and the father of that family worked for a media company. His job at the time was to digitally shrink the black girl from the Sugarbabes so that she didn’t look so fat compared to the two skinny white girls in the group in one of their music videos.

    • Jarv says :

      Could he not have made her digitally less minging while he was at it?

      They were appalling as well. That period really did turn out a shit load of crap girl/ boy bands.

      Oh, and Rachel Stevens, who was in probably the worst band of the lot, was probably the most attractive.

      • Droid says :

        Could he not have made her digitally less minging while he was at it?

        Much like a guy that gropes her arse, he had his hands full. He’s not a miracle worker.

  9. Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

    I walked out of a film (ok, turned it off the pc), which is something I rarely do. I usually don’t even watch a film unless I have an idea I will like something in it. As Jarv can attest to, I am very easily pleased sometimes.

    But Jesus, Ghost Rider 2 was one of the worst films I have ever seen.

    And it had Idris in it too!

    Nic, who I like, had been poorly directed into unleashing full, twitchy head Nic, and it looked like a fucking Nic Cage parody.

    And shoot on real fucking cameras! I’ve made short films with a better quality look than that.

    Stupid action, shit direction, poor quality footage and grade, and OTT silly Cage.

    Fuck it up its stupid ass :(

    • Droid says :

      I made it to the first car chase, just after the monk scene before turning it off.

      • Col. Tigh-Fighter says :

        haha You know that might be when it got me too!

        GR screaming in some goons face for 5 mins for no reason, giving other goons chance to get some balls and escape? That one?

  10. tombando says :

    Haven’t seen GR Too, liked the first one more than I thought I would. This was a case of why bother from the looks.

  11. Continentalop says :

    I just realized that people are super sick of vampires & zombies, and I don’t think werewolves will catch on right now. So may I suggest that they bring back Golems.

    Think how awesome it would be to see giant men made of clay smashing and killing people. And we can even update them for the 21st century: running, fast Golems.

    Just a suggestion.

  12. Droid says :

    Just watched the football last night. First half was decent, but Portugal ran out of steam and the Spanish played like shit for 90 minutes. Then turned it on in extra time, but it still went to penalties.

    Hilarious to see the look on that preening fuck Ronaldo’s face when he didn’t even get to take his penalty kick. Eat shit, dickhead.

    • Jarv says :

      Christ, I only saw the second half and it was absolutely mind-numbingly boring. One of the worst games I’ve ever seen.

      I’d put it on a boredom par with England v Italy.

      Portugal didn’t manage 1 shot on target in 90 minutes, according to the guardian. Spain only managed 1.

      Although I do agree with you about Ronaldo shiteing it and not taking a penalty. It did make me laugh when Nani called that clown back.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s funny, but we talk about boring games and quality football and whatnot, but one of the most entertaining games I ever saw could in no way be described as good football- Wednesday v Hartlepool in the playoffs a few years ago.

        Yes, Spain are technically brilliant, but they are staggeringly dull to watch. Got all my hopes pinned on the Krauts- who are technically good but not in Spain’s league, but are also willing to go forward.

      • Droid says :

        For the most part, I like watching Spain play. For the most part, I don’t like watching England play.

      • Jarv says :

        Nobody likes watching England play.

        a) they’re shite.
        b) they’re incompetent and lack basic skills
        c) they’re set out to do nothing bar defend as a result of a and b.

        Spain, on the other hand, are so risk averse it feels like they’ve forgotten that the point of the game is to score those goal things.

        They’ve almost become a parody of the original European Cup winning side. To be fair though, they’re missing Villa, who makes a huge difference to the way they play (they’ll actually pass it forward to the striker, whereas they clearly don’t trust the rest of them).

        Germany are the best side to watch at the moment.

      • Droid says :

        You know what are great games to watch? Japan vs Australia. They’ve developed a big rivalry over the past 6 or 7 years, and their games are always exciting. Japan have some great players, and both teams play a little bit more open style than I’ve seen in this Euro tournament.

        In the 2006 World Cup the Aussies won 3-1 by kicking 3 goals in the last 10 minutes.
        In the 2011 Asian Cup final Japan won in the 117th minute.
        They just drew 1-1 in a world cup qualifier.

        Neither team (especially Australia) can boast great football skills or incredible talent. But both are good to watch, particularly when they play each other.

      • Jarv says :

        play a little bit more open style

        Nail. On. Head.

        Spain’s relentless possession football is as closed as it comes, just as England’s version of classic Italian Catennacio is.

        Boring.

        This is why the Hun need to win. They’re fast, fluid, skilful and willing to attack. Curse them.

      • Jarv says :

        This is a good point. When Spain first came to prominence as THE force in football- they had a team with 4 defenders, 4 midfielders and two strikers (Torres and Villa).

        They actually scored a hatful, and really good goals at that tournament.

        Then the WC came, and Spain were more conservative. Won it, but scored less goals than any other side in history.

        This time round has been a pisstake. I wouldn’t mind but Llorente is still good, and they could easily play him as a striker. Instead they’ve got 4 defenders, 2 defensive midfielders (FFS) 3 attacking midfielders and 1 striker, if they play one. Which they don’t. SO realistically it’s 4-2-4, but without any cutting edge. That’s why they’re scoring so few.

      • Droid says :

        Eh? Spain scored 6 in the group stages. That’s more a lot of other teams.

      • Jarv says :

        4 in one game against the worst side in the tournament (and they had Torres playing in that one).

        The France game was horribly dull, the second half (all I saw of this one) was horribly dull.

        They’re fucking good, don’t get me wrong, but they aren’t exciting.

      • Droid says :

        England scored 3 against a comparatively bad Sweden. And conceded 2.

      • Jarv says :

        Yes, but England are shite- and Sweden are easily better than Ireland.

      • Droid says :

        I don’t agree. Sweden were pretty shit.

      • Jarv says :

        Better than Ireland who were utter shit. The proof is in the pudding on this one. Ireland didn’t score a goal. Conceded more than anyone else.

        Sweden beat France, scored 2 against England.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not defending England here, but England conceded 3 goals all tournament, 2 to Sweden- against the Ukraine, France and Italy, they conceded 1 goal.

        The defence wasn’t the problem

      • Droid says :

        France, who played like shit all tournament.

        England, who played like shit for a lot of the tournament, but especially for the 15 minutes when those two goals were conceded. When England started playing less shit they scored 2 quick goals.

        Ireland came up against far, far superior teams. Two of which made it to the semi’s, and one of those is in the final and is the best team in the world. The other? Still could make the final. They also played like shit, and were severely outgunned.

        Just my opinion that Sweden are on a comparative level with Ireland.

        Italy, for example. If they could kick properly, they’d have won the game the other night by 2 or 3 goals (at least) in 90 minutes. But they didn’t. They did against Ireland, which they won 2-0.

        My point is, you can’t judge entirely on goal difference. I’ve actually watched part of, or all of, nearly every game. I’ve watched Sweden. I’ve watched Ireland. Both aren’t very good sides, and not miles apart.

      • Droid says :

        Apparently the next Euro tournament has been expanded to 24 teams. So instead of 4-6 high quality competitive teams and 10-12 cannon fodder, you’re getting 18-20 hopeless teams.

        What a joke.

      • Jarv says :

        Dunno about that. There are lots of good European teams that don’t qualify for it-

        Belgium, Serbia, Slovakia are all quite good Tier 2 teams.

        The Euros are harder than the WC, and I’m not sure it’s a good idea to allow 8 more in.

      • Droid says :

        If they’re not good enough to get in the Euro’s when it’s 16, they don’t deserve a place simply because the tournament is expanded. It’s supposed to be a tournament made up of the best teams in Europe. Not the best teams and also a bunch of other ones. There are plenty of “other ones” already in the 16.

        I don’t agree that the Euro’s are harder.

      • Jarv says :

        They are because of the way that FIFA weight the World Cup. Less European teams, who for the most part are the best in the world, qualify.

        There are far more joke groups in the WC than the Euros. Simply because of how they qualify.

        By your rationale, you may as well not bother with the group phases and just go from the QF onwards.

      • Droid says :

        By your rationale, you may as well not bother with the group phases and just go from the QF onwards.

        Where’s my rationale? I’m not sure where you’ve got this from.

        I disagree that the Euro’s are harder. The WC has all the best European teams. Not the one’s making up the numbers. They also have good South American teams. And you get teams from all over the world, who play different styles, and are more difficult to play because you have to prepare to play a variety of styles. In the Euro’s, a lot of the teams play the same, or in a very similar, way. Preparation is easier. Unless you’re a team like Spain, who control the game, and play their way, you have to adapt your tactics to a wide variety of different styles of play in the WC. That’s why England never do well. They play one way and don’t adapt.

        Plus the WC is larger, requiring an extra game that you have to survive to win.

      • Jarv says :

        The way you’re talking in terms of also rans and making up the numbers. They aren’t. They’re the best 16 sides- if you feel they’re making up numbers, then may as well only limit it to 8. That way there are the best sides, and then only 2 making up numbers. (PS- I’m not averse to this, as the sooner it’s over the better, and England probably wouldn’t make it at all)

        Regarding the WC

        They also have good South American teams

        They don’t.

        They have 2 good SA sides and a lot of also rans, and even Brazil aren’t that good at the moment.

        And you get teams from all over the world, who play different styles, and are more difficult to play because you have to prepare to play a variety of styles.

        Irrelevant. I’d back France to beat the likes of Trinidad, Algeria, and so forth every time.

      • Droid says :

        I never once advocated less teams. I’m against adding more because right now, there are 16 teams and in those 16 teams there are quite a few that are making up the numbers. I would advocate a 12 team competition. Because then you’d get more of the “cream”, you’d pit the best teams against the best, with no “easy” wins, such as the group that had Ireland, who was clearly outmatched. You’d also still get a couple of teams that could “surprise”. Basically, winning would be tougher, because you’d be against the best from the beginning.

        The rest is rubbish.

        They have 2 good SA sides and a lot of also rans

        Europe had 13 places in the last World Cup.

        6 out of 7 SA teams made it into the last 16. 4 made it into the quarters. Uraguay finished 4th.
        6 out of 13 Euro teams made it into the last 16. That’s basically your Euro’s right there. 3 made it into the quarters. Europe teams finished 1,2,3.

        The simple fact is, at the moment, Spain are the best side in the world. And Germany are probably the second best. Under those, there’s a lot of teams sitting just below the line.

        Irrelevant. I’d back France to beat the likes of Trinidad, Algeria, and so forth every time.

        hehe. France. Good one.

        Anyway, it’s not irrelevant. It’s quite the opposite. Would you back France to beat South Africa? Uraguay? Mexico? Sweden?

      • Droid says :

        Actually, I’ve missed the USA. USA, Mexico and Honduras are listed as CONMEBOL, and the others are CONCACAF. So that’s 7 out of 8 that made it into the 16.

      • Jarv says :

        I thought that there were only 8 Euro sides for some reason.

        I picked on France because they were inordinately, but not unsurprisingly bad at that WC.

        Now? I’d bet France would beat SA and Uruguay. I’d also expect them to draw with Mexico.

        Look at the African sides 6- got drawn, including the hosts. One qualified. Most were in the bottom place in their group.

        South American sides did well last time out.

        Asia and Australasia had 5 sides. Two got out the group.

        That was a funny World Cup with a lot of traditionally powerful sides playing inordinately badly- France and Italy were the worst two offenders.

      • Droid says :

        I wouldn’t bet on France to beat an egg. They’re hopeless.

      • Jarv says :

        At tournaments, since 2000, yeah they’ve imploded spectacularly.

      • Jarv says :

        A more exciting way to do tournaments, actually, would be to ditch the groups altogether.

        The groups are specifically designed to prevent an upset- to make sure the traditional powers tend to go through and eliminate the chance of an upset.

        Pick the 32 best sides in the world by ranking, and have them drawn with the top 16 in pool one and the second 16 in pool 2.

        The first 16 days are straight knock out one game after another, then on as per usual into the knockouts.

        It would have the added bonus of removing Friendlies- so each international game has importance based on ranking points. It would also lose the interminable qualifying phase.

        Never going to happen, due to money, but that’s what I’d like to see.

      • Droid says :

        The first half was good, because Portugal played aggressive, pressing football. Spain was all over the place because they didn’t know how to play them. It was really interesting to watch.

        But the second half was terrible. Extra time was okay.

      • Jarv says :

        Spain, also, have a number of good if not very good strikers- Llorente, Torres etc.

        So why were they playing that dick up front? He was worse than useless. When he got taken off, I said to my mate that it felt like they wanted an excuse not to play a striker. He was Rooney-esque bad.

        Wasn’t surprised to see Xavi taken off, either. He was having a terrible game, and I don’t think I’ve ever even thought that before.

      • Droid says :

        I have no idea what that bloke was doing playing instead of Torres. It’s weird.

      • Jarv says :

        He was crap as well.

      • Droid says :

        Torres didn’t play.

      • Jarv says :

        In 2008? Yes he did:

      • Droid says :

        What? When did you start talking about 2008? I was talking about last night.

      • Jarv says :

        This is a good point. When Spain first came to prominence as THE force in football- they had a team with 4 defenders, 4 midfielders and two strikers (Torres and Villa).

        I was referring to the difference in style from the way they play now compared to how they used to play- when they were brilliant and exciting and much more willing to actually attack.

      • Droid says :

        I’m still in this conversation.

        You: So why were they playing that dick up front? He was worse than useless. When he got taken off, I said to my mate that it felt like they wanted an excuse not to play a striker. He was Rooney-esque bad.
        Me: I have no idea what that bloke was doing playing instead of Torres. It’s weird.
        You: He was crap as well.
        Me: Torres didn’t play.
        You: In 2008? Yes he did:

      • Jarv says :

        Gotcha- no I know Torres didn’t play, but I was just emphasising how bad Alpoodo was.

  13. Droid says :

    It’s a BBQ day today. I should be elsewhere chomping on delicious BBQ’d meats and swilling chilly cider.

    Stupid work.

  14. Jarv says :

    Stupid review:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/jun/25/brave-film-review-ben-child

    Why the fuck should they have a message about Scottish independence?

  15. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Ok, so planning to start the PCN Summer Flashback series up again, after looking through the older ones published two summer’s ago. There was stuff in there from Jarv, Droid, Therewolf, Kloipy, Conti, Tom Bando, Xiphos. All cool stuff.

    Starting up again next week, this time with summer 1988. Reached out to a few others to contirube, and the plan is seven days of movies from a particular summer, and then move to the next year. Looks like last time we made it through 96,97,98, and 99.

    If anyone does want to be involved, here’s a basic overview of what’s on tap. I’ve looked at the stuff from 88 through 95 and it only cements what Jarv has been saying. The late 80s/all of the 90s are much stronger than people give them credit for.

    Here’s 88 with asterisks next to the already claimed films:

    Who Framed Roger Rabbit?*
    Willow
    Friday the 13th VII*
    Dead Heat
    Rambo III
    Big
    Funny Farm
    Bull Durham
    Waxwork
    The Great Outdoors
    Red Heat
    Coming to America
    Funny Farm
    License to Drive
    Die Hard
    A Fish Called Wanda
    Phantasm II
    Midnight Run
    Cocktail
    The Blob
    Mac and Me *
    Nightmare on Elm St. 4
    Young Guns
    The Last Temptation of Christ

    Just looking for seven, and have 3 taken currently.

  16. Jarv says :

    I am going to beat my assistant to death with a blunt instrument.

    The fucking useless cunt didn’t pay something from last week that I asked him to, and we need delivery tomorrow. He’s off on a fucking training course so I can’t kill him.

    I’ve had to redraw a PO, back date it and fax it through to them to blag credit. And blamed Droid’s employers.

    Bah!

  17. kloipy says :

    does anyone know if Frankie went by ‘Nice Marmot’ at AICN? Not sure if that was him or someone else. If it is then I just had a sighting. Wish he would show up again someday. Miss that guy

    • Droid says :

      No, he was Franklin T. Marmoset.

      • kloipy says :

        I wasn’t sure if he got banned and came back as that. Oh well. Hopefully he’s doing well wherever he is

      • Droid says :

        Dunno. He weirdly dropped in a few months ago, made some comment on one of his reviews, something like “Hey, a review by that Marmoset guy. I like him!” and disappeared again.

        Not sure what the deal is with him. Seems a bit flaky.

      • Jarv says :

        Interesting:

        Deep breath, and on to The Amazing Spider-Man, about which I cannot say too much as none of you will have seen it yet. Firstly, this is without doubt a well acted, well-directed and scripted film. But it is not a well-conceived movie. For rights reasons, studio Sony has decided to bring the wall-crawler back to the big screen only a few years after the failure of Raimi’s final effort, Spider-Man 3, to please critics. Webb and his creative team have done their damnedest to mark the new Spidey as a different beast from the version starring Tobey Maguire: he has a new backstory, love interest (Gwen Stacy, not Mary Jane Watson) and enemy in the form of the Lizard.

        Unfortunately, and despite everyone’s best efforts, anyone who saw 2002’s Spider-Man is likely to suffer a considerable degree of deja vu. There is only so far you can shift a Spidey origins tale before it is no longer the same character, and Webb has wisely erred on the side of caution. Unfortunately, this means we still get a huge dose of poor, old Uncle Ben’s “With great power comes great responsibility” gubbins from the first movie, though the screenwriters are working so hard not to use those exact words that one can almost hear the biros squeaking in anguish. Likewise, there is a similar high school scene involving a bully. Some of the methods used to avoid repeating scenes wholesale from Raimi’s film are ingenious, but I still felt uncomfortably aware of the fact that they were being employed when I should have been able to sit back and enjoy the movie.

        The worst thing about the film is the villain, the Lizard. In order to save the Green Goblin and Doc Ock for later, Webb has plumped for a lesser-known bad guy, who comes to life appallingly on the big screen. The CGI is deeply incongruous, and both Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 looked better, despite technology having supposedly advanced in the intervening years.

        The Amazing Spider-Man is getting good reviews from the critics, holding an 80% “fresh” rating on the Rotten Tomatoes aggregator website. And if Raimi’s film had never existed, I would be roundly in agreement. Unfortunately, Webb and Sony have failed to do what Nolan did so impressively with 2005’s Batman Begins: namely to craft an origins story radically different from the previous iteration that feels like the definitive take on the character. The Maguire/Raimi Spider-Man feels like the definitive version for me, and I suspect Total Recall could be remade 1,000 times without approaching the bonkers majesty of Verhoeven’s film. Come on Hollywood, pull your finger out. I’ve already seen this movie.

        The Guardian.

      • Droid says :

        Unfortunately, Webb and Sony have failed to do what Nolan did so impressively with 2005′s Batman Begins: namely to craft an origins story radically different from the previous iteration that feels like the definitive take on the character.

        This isn’t accurate. Nolan was lucky enough to have a character with no real origin. Burton didn’t give him a nuts and bolts origin. Merely flashbacks for character development and motivation. This is not the same as Spiderman, where Raimi spent an hour on the origin. This is the problem that the new film can’t get around. We’ve seen Parker become Spiderman. Recently. It’s fresh in our minds. It’s not something we want or need to see again.

      • Jarv says :

        I agree.

        That’s not the bit that caught my attention.

        That was:

        The worst thing about the film is the villain, the Lizard. In order to save the Green Goblin and Doc Ock for later, Webb has plumped for a lesser-known bad guy, who comes to life appallingly on the big screen. The CGI is deeply incongruous, and both Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 looked better, despite technology having supposedly advanced in the intervening years.

        It’s a fucking huge mistake to do the origin. Huge. Because as he’s noted- we all know it- and there are touchstone moments.

        That the villain sucks some balls as well, according to this guy, is what caught my eye

      • kloipy says :

        I just think its weird how he just competely falls off the map.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        On Tuesday I posted a reaction that a good friend of mine had to seeing a critics preview of Spiderman. He went nuts over it. Thought it was the best Marvel superhero movie ever,but needs to see it again before he gives it an all time ranking.

        he said the origin is handled quickly and it did not bother him.

        i trust his opinion but i will caution that he is a spiderman freak who was disappointed in raimis efforts

      • Continentalop says :

        I haven’t seen the movie so I don’t know how the adapted him, but in the comics the Lizard is one of Spider-Man’s best and most interesting villains.

        And I’m going to disagree with everyone here and say when you do reboot Spider-Man you almost have to redo his origin. Why? Because Spider-Man isn’t like Sherlock Holmes, James Bond, Superman, Batman, or even other Marvel characters like Hulk or Captain America. No character is as connected to continuity and the serial nature of comics like Spidey is. Everything flows and develops from what came before and leads into something else. He is much more like HP in that his story feels like a saga at times. So if you’re coming with a direction for Webhead, you almost have to go back to the beginning to show how plays out.

        That is why I was pissed at Raimi right from the beginning. Once you fuck up certain things from movie one you really guarantee you’re gonna have to reboot the fucker.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        I am a bit conflicted over redoing an origin of a well established character such as spidey. I understand the desire that a new regime has to start fresh and tell their own story, but I think it needs to be balanced by the realization that the buying public is already quite familiar with the origins when it comes to superstar characters.

        That being said, if the origin is handled in a way similar to the way daredevil did it, I have zero issues with redoing it.

        Also, if a sufficient amount of time has passed between iterations, then once again while i would not be ecstatic about redoing origin, if it was done with the same speed of DD, then no problem.

        When the FF is redone, it will be begging for a new origin, and i totally support a fully fleshed out origin

      • Continentalop says :

        The thing about Spidey for me toad is that he isn’t just a super-hero who has adventures and faces a new baddy every time. He is a character who changes and grows over time. Which means that you have to watch and see that development, which would include how he changed when he got his powers and then how he changed when Uncle Ben died.

        Unlike Bats and Superman, Spidey’s big moments haven’t been villains but personal or tragic. Those are the tent poles moments in his story arc, and the things that fans refer to when taking about Spider-Man. Getting bit by a radioactive spider and the death of Uncle Ben are followed by Peter graduating from high school, him meeting Gwen Stacy and MJ, Captain Stacy dying, Gwen and the Green Goblin dying, and marrying MJ (which I actually think was a mistake but I have to admit, one of the pivotal moments of his life). Spider-Man’s story is one long saga, not just a series of single adventures, and I think the impact of these moments only work if you look at them as a continuous story.

        That is why I think you have to include his origin when you reboot him. Of course, should they reboot him now, so soon after Raimi’s version, is another argument (I personally think they should have let more time pass).

      • Continentalop says :

        And yes the FF need a new origin story, but the one who really needs one is Doctor Doom. How the hell did they fuck up the greatest super-villain of all-time so badly?

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        My buddy who sawr it said you must stay to the end – a secret scene.

        Doc Doom is only second greatest super villain, behind Fin Fang Foom.

        I do agree with your reasoning over Spidey, in that his stories have a more cohesive feel to them, still Bat’s origin is compelling and no one has yet to deep dive into how twisted it made him.

        I can see his reboot in four or five years encompassing a new origin, regardless the direction taken.

        Superman is the one that does not need a new origin, no matter what.
        But of course we will get it.

      • Continentalop says :

        Superman’s “new” origin should be like how they did it in his first appearance in Action comics.

        In one page, about 8 panels, they explained his entire origin and concept. Same thing could be done in a movie with about 8 lines of dialogue and maybe a small three minute flashback or prologue.

        One thing I really did like about Burton’s Batman is they never directly told his origin. That was very much like how they did it in the Golden Age comic. And personally, I don’t see Batman as being insane anymore, at least in the context of a comic book universe. Insane implies that what you do makes no sense and doesn’t work – in Batman comics, dressing up like a bat to take on crime seems to be very effective and logical.

      • Continentalop says :

        And also now that I think about it Doom is third, behind Fing Fang Foom and MODOK.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Bats is not insane, he is psychologically damaged.
        Without rehashing our voluminous past discussions about this, lets look at two comic book Billionaires.
        Stark and Wayne – and no we will not be redoing Tony and Bruce’s orgy party either although that was a helluva lot of fun.

        What motivates a billionaire or anyone for that matter to put on a costume and risk his or her life?

        For Stark, it is the joy he gets from seeing his creation kick ass.

        For Wayne, it is trying to assuage the emptiness he has felt since he sawr his parents murdered in front of him.

        Do you ever detect joy from Wayne? No, it is a holy mission, his self designated mission that he needs to do as much as he needs to breathe.

        Wayne is not insane by any true definition, but he is beyond a doubt so emotionally damaged by the traumatic loss he suffered, that he dedicated his entire life and fortune to hunting and hurting criminals.

        Pay attention to that last word ‘hurting’.

        With all the money and intellect he has at his disposal, Wayne could easily devise methods for taking down criminals that precluded – for the most part, having to physically engage with them.

        His vanity (thinking himself above such acts regardless the consequences of not doing so in his self appointed tak) does not allow him to kill, which is a discussion for another day, but he aims to hurt them.

        You always see Bats damn near cripple people -well not in Nolan movies but that is because Nolan does not know how to shoot action.

        You can infer that he derives some satisfaction in meting out such punishment, because after all he has the means to avoid if it he so chose.

        Yes, we are talking a comic book character, I get that, but if we are extrapolating how they would behave in near real world existence, it is my contention that Bats is nuts albeit not truly insane.

        You love some Modok!

        Ok, I will raise you Arnim Zola as number four!

      • Jarv says :

        I’m sorry fellas I have to disagree with this.

        The way to handle the origin here was to do what Burton did with Batman- show very little of it. We’re all too familiar, and the last one was only 12 years ago.

        Then 20 years time, if someone needs to redo the origin, then go for it. It’s too familiar at the moment.

        I do agree, however, that Raimi stacked it. But that’s not the point.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Jarv,

        I get that and while I am not thrilled by it, I will withhold judgement until I see it. It may be that it is integral – the way Conti describes, to the spiderman saga as well as the movie.

        The only way i would hate it, is if they did a long involved 1/2 or 3/4 of a movie. That would turn me off

      • Continentalop says :

        Yeah, but the problem is Jarv that Batman is Batman – everything about him is dedicated to him wearing a costume and fighting crime. His origin is almost unnecessary save for what little motivation it supplies.

        Spider-Man is however the tale of a person, Peter Parker, who’s life changes when he gets bit by a radioactive spider and then feels responsible for his Uncle’s death. He is not just a costume and a concept, but an actual character. And if you don’t have continuity with that character and the action on screen, it really isn’t Spider-Man. I see excluding his origin as chopping off the first part of the Deer Hunter – without the wedding scene we don’t care about the characters. Sure, you can make a war movie and just hint at their past lives, but you are not going to care about them; same with Spider-Man, where you can give an abbreviated origin but than he no longer becomes a character but instead just a guy in a costume having an adventure, like the old Bond movies.

        But that is the problem with Spider-man. He should be done as a saga, but instead they are trying to treat him as a character in stand alone films. You have to make sure you do it right the first time and map out the entire arc of the character in not just one movie but several, and Hollywood just doesn’t seem to care to do that.

        And personally, I think they should wait a least another 10 years before making another Spider-Man movie, but Sony needs to keep the rights and he is too big of name property. This is a case where business defeats art.

      • Continentalop says :

        Ah, Cheeses insane Stark/Wayne coke party. That was funny, although I still stand by my assessment that Cheeses underestimated Kent and Rogers – those two are pussy magnets.

        And I couldn’t agree more about Batman. He really is almost philosophically beyond any sort of psychological assessment. He is like Nietzsche’s Ubermensch or Aristotle (or was it Plato) concept of someone so superior he was above the law.

        Which was one of my problems with Nolan’s interpretation. He made him like a regular guy conflicted. I imagine someone to do what he did, to singling pursue something like that, would never afford to allow himself to have doubts and conflicts. This is his life-calling, whatever the consequences.

        And you notice all our favorite villains – Fing Fang Foom, Doom, MODOK, Arnim Zola – are all Kirby creations? We should add EGO, the Living Planet, to that list.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Kent and Rogers can definitely bring in the P!

        They get the wholesome on the outside, hellcat on inside sect as well as the bad girl who wants to seduce to good guy.

        The issue is neither of them are closers, however that is actually a good thing for the other P hounds because think about all that frustrated P with no where else to turn but into the waiting arms of Tony and Bruce and any hangers on they might let into the joint

        lll bet Tim Tebow gets the same thingm and his team mates get the frustrated left overs!

        That was a great TB discussion

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Conti, I have a Jack Kirby signed Thor featuring the first appearance of Ego!
        I met Kirby back in the late eighties at a convention.

      • Continentalop says :

        See, I see them both as closers. Cap just doesn’t get to meet that many women, and those he does are usually Avengers and he doesn’t shit where he eats. But he never seemed to have a problem pulling in the skirt hot spy types, like Sharon Carter, Peggy Carter (sisters!), Betsy Ross, Diamondback, Bernie Rosenthal, and I wouldn’t doubt he was having a shit load of trim when he was stationed in London during WWII.

        Now Supes, he is faithful to Lois, but remember through most of his comic history he really wasn’t dating Lois, they just had feelings towards each other. Meanwhile, he was hooking up with mermaids, aliens, chicks from the future, Kryptonian girls from the past, and even Helen of Troy and Cleopatra. The guy didn’t just have girls in different time zones, but also different time periods.

        Oh, the insanity that Cheeses unleashed with that party.

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Supes did bang that mer chick back in his college days.
        You know, I have to agree with your P assessment.
        They projected the goody two shoes, but they probably did their fair share of bangin- especially during wartime.

        Yeah, Rogers prolly got some French and English and maybe German tang.

        Supes probably rationalized that since he could not get with Lois because he would bang her out of existence that he needed some extra terrestrial trim.

        You think he banged big barda? I know she seems tight with Scott Free, but she was giving supes the eye.

        And you know he did WW.

        Ok, I have fully changed my mind on them, not only magnets but closers as well!

        Good job C

    • tombando says :

      Yeah I miss Mr Marmoset too, the first time he vanished he yanked everything here w/ him. Who knows? He was fun to read.

  18. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    I see it on Monday and am optimistic for it, honestly. Im not that partial to Raimi’s approach, and Im not that irritated by the origin reboot. It does feel like ‘why’ a little bit, but there’s something else I think at work here.

    Even though it’s been ten years since Spidey first hit the screen–by contrast, it was only 8 years between Batman and Robin and Batman Begins–I think the issue is that comic book films are fundamentally handled different than they werre in 2002.

    At that point we had only had Blade–which was basically ghettoized as horror-action–and X-Men as new examples of super-hero stories. Raimi’s film still has a lot of that cartoonish, hyper-stylized ‘it’s just a comic’ feel that most superhero movies had at that time. This works for some, but not for Spidey, because he’s most interesting when he comes off as a character-drven force, not a special-effects driven force. Curious to see where Webb falls with it.

  19. tombando says :

    Spidey Fore might be fun. Lizard as long as he has his lab coat and purple pants gets my vote.

  20. tombando says :

    Kloipy I guess he went wherever Pazoozoo went, but for different reasons.

  21. MORBIUS says :

    DocP showed up in the 3 Avatar tb @WhingeWorld(TM)

  22. Droid says :

    Went to see The Woman in Black last night. It was pretty good.

  23. Droid says :

    In uber nerd Marvel funny book news…

    Edgar Wright has shot a “test reel” for Ant Man. Presumably so they can see how shitty it looks on the big screen.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/ant-man-edgar-wright-343191

    Never even heard of these guys.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/guardians-galaxy-movie-marvel-studios-avengers-343228

  24. Droid says :

    Seeing as though they’ve remade Total Recall and Showgirls, and are remaking Starship Troopers and Robocop, what other Verhoeven remakes can we look forward to?

    A PG-13 Basic Instinct?

  25. Droid says :

    England are going along too nicely here. I don’t like it. Need a wicket or 10.

  26. Echo the Bunnyman says :

    Jarv, Im moments away from publishing the Hooligan review, but wanted to check something. I’ve linked to your other reviews on my site, but wanted to verify–since I used the first name–that you were ok with me linking back to here from that review.

  27. tombando says :

    Hey I will do Willow if you like, that one I remember it well.

    • Bartleby says :

      Hey Bando! Kloipy called Willow on Friday . Is there another one you want to do? i start putting them up tomorrow, starting with Droid’s Red Heat review.

      If there isn’t one for 88 you want, you can have first dibs on 89 if you like. Some good stuff in there.

  28. koutchboom says :

    Saw Ted last night, if you liked Hall Pass and The Change up (and none of you did) then you should enjoy Ted. Can’t believe the mostly positive reaction to it, and how NOW everyone admits to liking Family Guy. It’s ok it has a few laughs here and there, I probably laughed more at Hall Pass and it’s about even with The Change Up without the overuse of cussing, but all three are solid bromance movies nothing more.

    That’s My Boy was funnier.

  29. ThereWolf says :

    Watched ‘Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes’ tonight.

    Not a fan. Sorry.

    • koutchboom says :

      Yeah I have a feeling the FX will look shitty on the small screen.

      • ThereWolf says :

        Some of the FX was outstanding – particularly the close-up stuff. Unfortunately, the rental disc I had wouldn’t play in either the DVD or Blu-ray player, it would only play on the PC – so that didn’t help either, watching the film on a little monitor instead of a 50-inch plasma.

        I just didn’t rate the story. Though I did like how they set up the decimation of the human population.

      • Continentalop says :

        What’s not to like? It’s the story of Moses, told with apes.

        James Franco was crappy in it though.

  30. Continentalop says :

    Saw Ted yesterday. Much better than I expected. Not a great movie, as deep as a rain puddle with a weak 3rd act, but succeeded as a comedy – I laughed during it.

    • koutchboom says :

      Hehehe wow that’s high praise from you, I think the last time you laughed Clinton was still in office.

    • Bartleby says :

      I didnt much care for it. I mean, the set-up was decent–and some jokes, like the one involving Sam J. Jones and Flash Gordon was pretty funny–but, like K-boom says above, its not that different than Family Guy, albeit it has this warm fuzzy crap tacked on to it to make it feel like a real movie.

      I liked Wahlberg, he gave it best shot. Still, to me, the jokes either felt tremendously lazy, ran on for too long–the fight scene comes to mind–or were honestly kind of embarrassing to watch (not because of the raunch factor but because of how pathetic and hard some of them were trying for laughs).

      Here’s how I felt. At the end of the day, if you replace McFarlane’s Ted with say, Seth Rogen as a real stoner, slacker friend and don’t change a single other thing, then it becomes a tired, irritating excuse for a movie.

      Ted is a gimmick and isnt used at all well. By the time the third act is up, you see where its going and you sort of don’t care anymore.

      Comparing it to hall pass and change up is kind of harsh–only because those two were perhaps the worst comedies of recent memory–but I see the correlation. Not that it matters. it made big bucks, so Im sure we aren’t rid of mcfarlane on the big screen just yet.

      Also, kind of hypocritical for SM to take potshots at Sandler, as if his movies are really that much more high-brow than ‘Thats My Boy.’

      • Continentalop says :

        Well I never watch Family Guy, so it probably helped it feel “fresher” and more original.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I didn’t like the Jack and Jill joke that was lame. But yeah that’s what I’ve been saying about it, Ted should’ve just been some actor, I agree with everything else. There were also a lot of carry over references to Family Guy. The I don’t sound like Peter Griffin, the Airplane reference and the Ryan Reynolds gag.

  31. Droid says :

    Weekend roundup…

    American Reunion – It was okay. On par with all the others. Worth a watch once, if you’ve seen the other films. Couple of chuckles here and there, but mostly a very moderately entertaining diversion.

    Lockout – Having my expectations lowered by the poor reviews and whatnot helped this one out a lot. Again, it’s a moderately entertaining diversion. Goes a long way on the strength of Guy Pearce.

    Last Ride – Not quite the amazing film Ebert makes it out ot be, but a solid film overall. And he’s right, it does look good. Particularly the salt flats part.

    And, I finished the story part of Arkham City. And watched Spain entertainingly drub the Italians.

    • Jarv says :

      Weekend Roundup-

      The Grey. Enjoyed it, loved the use of City Surf. Maybe Carnahan is going to leave off the trash?

      England drubbing the Aussies. I’m now starting to feel sorry for Mitch. The crowd treat him like a pantomime villain, and he’s just so shit that it’s embarrassing for all concerned.

      Cummins gone home injured, which is a shame, but why on earth is a teenager breaking down as much as he seems to?

      England should win this series, and I really struggle to care. I’ll watch it while it’s on, but it’s totally needless, and basically I can’t get worked up for it. Not like the Ashes, our the Indian Annihilation last year.

      Regretted not watching Spain, finally, from what I was reading, they were entertaining, but I assumed in advance that Italy v Spain would be a totally mindumbing battle of Tika Taka v Parked bus defence. D’oh.

      Well done Spain- can’t argue with three tournaments on the bounce, I’ve just seen too many terminally boring games with them in, and so I can’t warm to them.

      What’s strange, though, is that the most entertaining side I’ve ever seen (Brazil 82) won the sum total of F All, and I’d rather watch highlights of them any day of the week over the far more successful, and far more gifted Spain side.

      • Droid says :

        I’ve enjoyed watching Spain many times over the past 3 tournaments. I don’t understand the “dull” and “boring” comments, but hey ho. Not to worry. They were simply ridiculous in the first half last night. Their skills are so good. Iniesta seems like the ball is attached to his foot by velcro.

        Anyway, good on them. They’re simply miles better than anyone else. Conceded one goal in the entire tournament. Well deserved winners.

      • Droid says :

        And as for the cricket. I forgot it was even on. I didn’t even see the result until this morning.

      • Jarv says :

        England were just so far ahead of Australia in terms of batting, and while sub-par (for what I’d consider to be England’s “new” standards) in the field, didn’t have shite bowling like Johnson and Doherty.

        Johnson in particular was embarrassingly bad. Went for a shit load, barely looked like taking a wicket, and kept putting in idiotic no balls. However, the crowd now reckon (with some justification) that they can get to him, and he’s taking an unacceptable amount of stick- it’s not football, so don’t behave like a terrace.

      • Jarv says :

        Bit more on this- Watson and Bailey got hopelessly bogged down. Horribly so, actually. Neither of them seemed to be able to hit Swann and Bopara off the square.

        Some late hitting helped Bailey’s S/R, but he was all over the place. Him and Watto (who otherwise batted very well), meant Australia were a minimum of 30 runs light.

      • Jarv says :

        Interesting, there’s a fair amount of comment about wasting Wade at 7.

        Stop picking the likes of Forrest and Smith at 6, than. And if you do pick Johnson, for no reason that I can possibly work out, then you need an all-rounder in case he doesn’t come off- someone that can bowl 8 tidy overs for less than 6 per over and maybe spank 30-odd runs.

        Don’t know if Australia has anyone like that.

      • Jarv says :

        It’s obviously subjective.

        However, it doesn’t do it for me watching games like them against France (worst game of the tournament) where they just suffocatingly pass it back into their own half until everyone falls asleep- let alone the stultifying second half+ extra time v Portugal (I do accept that I didn’t see the first half, which I’m told was much better). I’ve seen as many, if not more, terminally shite games with them in (and usually them to blame) than I have good ones.

        It’s not that I don’t appreciate the skill, because I do, and they’re clearly a level ahead of everyone not called Pirlo, but I find there to be as much of a chance of them being awfully boring as there is of them being in an exciting match.

        A team to admire, rather than love.

      • Jarv says :

        This though:

        Anyway, good on them. They’re simply miles better than anyone else. Conceded one goal in the entire tournament. Well deserved winners.

        Nothing else to say- well deserved winners, scored more, conceded once, and while we can argue about style that’s what goes in the history books.

      • Droid says :

        Here’s a good example for you then, to give you an idea of what the game was like. I saw them go backwards, a long ball back to Casillas, once during the entire game.

      • Jarv says :

        Typical. I finally miss them playing positively.

        They really do make Italy into their bitch nowadays.

  32. Jarv says :

    the jokes either felt tremendously lazy, ran on for too long

    That’s a description of the “jokes” in Family guy.

    I saw them doing the leg holding one again. Peter has now done it 4 times and Lois once. NOT FUNNY.

    Although I did, for the first time in a long time, actually laugh at an FG joke last night.

  33. Droid says :

    This looks like it could be fun. Although it’s probably not, when you consider who co-wrote it.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/man-iron-fists-russell-crowe-lucy-liu-rza-343780

  34. Jarv says :

    Fatland has a massive 8 reviews for Amazing Spider-Man.

    Pathetic.

    • Jarv says :

      Christ- if we ever want to know why ASM blows:

      http://www.aintitcool.com/node/56719

      In particular:

      AA: [Begins to sing the old animated Spider-Man theme song] “Spider Man, Spider Man…” Actually, Harry has been very instrumental to all this explosion when I was starting this.

      Capone Yeah, I get bits and pieces about various conversations.

      AA: It’s no longer a secret. I actually call Harry every once and a while to just get a gut check. After a while, you need a gut check. I said, “What do you think of the name AMAZING SPIDER-MAN?” And he said “Awesome.”

      You certainly get a gut check from him.

    • Droid says :

      Ebert gave it 3 1/2. But since nearly everything these days get’s 3 1/2 from him, I remain skeptical. The review certainly doesn’t read like a 3 1/2 movie, when you compare it to one of ours for example. But we are less lenient on films I suppose.

      Anyway…

      The origin story takes at least an hour to tell

      This sets up various close calls and reconciliations, and the movie’s single best action scene, when Spidey rescues a boy from a burning car dangling from a bridge. The kid is able to assist in his own rescue after putting on Spidey’s face mask; I doubt the mask has magical powers, but simply provides a psychological boost.

      That also may help explain why Peter/Spider-Man spends so much time not wearing the mask. That, and the fact that Andrew Garfield is very good-looking, and the mask reminds me of Hellboy wearing a screen door.

      • Jarv says :

        The origin story takes at least an hour to tell

        That in itself is the fucking problem with this movie.

        If there’s any justice, it’ll absolutely tank.

      • Droid says :

        It won’t unfortunately. The only hope is that it underperforms and then Batman comes out and sweeps it aside.

      • Jarv says :

        Dunno, I’m not so sure.

        There’s no real interest or desire for it amongst the great unwashed. If anything there’s almost a “fuck no” attitude about. Also, Ice Age 95 and Madagascar 3 are out around the same time, which is going to take a lot of the kiddie “pester” money.

        I can’t see it bombing, but I can see it struggling a lot.

      • Droid says :

        I wouldn’t be so sure. The yanks just flocked to Ted. Spiderman will do over $100m opening weekend I bet.

      • Jarv says :

        This is true- To quote P.T. Barnum- you can never go broke overestimating the stupidity of the American Public.

      • Jarv says :

        Meh review:

        http://www.reelviews.net/php_review_template.php?identifier=2489

        with an OUCH final paragraph:

        For me, this is as deflating a movie as I have seen all year. Not the worst, to be sure, but a project so utterly unnecessary that it made me want to gnash my teeth in frustration. Rebooting Spider-Man, while a questionable endeavor in its own right, offered an opportunity to do something unique with the character. Take it to a place where it hasn’t been. Accomplish for this franchise what Batman Begins did for Batman. Instead, we get an unimaginative and lackadaisical repetition of the origin story with a pedestrian hero/villain battle at the end. The Transformers movies show more inventiveness. Now we have to wait two more years for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 to hope the filmmakers can do something to revive a character whose pointless reboot has exposed all the weaknesses and none of the strengths in one of Marvel’s best-known superheroes.

      • Droid says :

        The Transformers movies show more inventiveness

        Ouch. Very, very ouch.

      • Jarv says :

        Yeah- it was “Deflating a movie as I have seen all year” that got me.

      • Droid says :

        Can’t be worse than Piranha 3DD, Cosmopolis or Ghost Rider 2.

      • Jarv says :

        No, I doubt it. However, it can be more deflating and disappointing.

        Piranha 3DD is basically DTV, nobody expects anything from it.
        Cosmopolis is a glorfied art film, that nobody gives a fuck about
        Ghost Rider 2 has the get out of Jail free card that is how bad the first one is.

      • Jarv says :

        The thing is, though, that I don’t think it can be as bad as the Raimi films, which have to be 2 of the most unjustly overrated funny book adaptations and one totally fairly maligned piece of shit out there.

        I’d go 1 Chang for Spidey 1 (and that’s being generous), 1.5 for Spidey 2, and Orangutan of Doom for Spidey 3.

      • Droid says :

        Piranha 3DD followed a much better than I ever thought possible (even with my dislike of the feeding frenzy) remake.

        Cosmopolis was from the director of Eastern Promises and A History of Violence.

        Ghost Rider 2 starred The Hairpiece.

        I had expectations for all of them. Sure, GR2 may have been me deluding myself, but I never expected to turn it off after less than 10 minutes. That’s half the time I gave Gamer and Sucker Punch.

      • Jarv says :

        GR also was directed by the crank monkeys, who you hate.

        The expectations, taking Cosmopolis out for a second, are totally different from a summer tentpole. None of those three are.

        Hold this thought for a moment anyway, I’m redoing the Rec Room

  35. tombando says :

    Yeah Spidey Fore just seems so pointless. At least the Lizard could be fun but am not holding my breath.

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