Burt Gummers Rec Room – December 2009 Archive

A gathering place for firearms enthusiasts, paranoid survivalists and those who worship at the Church of Chang.

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2,069 responses to “Burt Gummers Rec Room – December 2009 Archive”

  1. ThereWolf says :

    So…

    Wonder if there will be a Special Edition of Hyams’s 2010 out this year? Love that film…

  2. ThereWolf says :

    I spun Star Trek for my sister and her fella this evening. Neither are Trekkies but they both enjoyed the film.

    Of Nero’s ship (Narada?), my sister observed: “It’s like the Death Star… with tentacles.” There’s a kind of lunatic genius attached to that comment.

  3. Tom_Bando says :

    I fear the work of Portuguese speaking miscreants! Danger is a-foot. Put your Abrams Trek on ‘stun’ and you should be fine.

  4. Droid says :

    Geez Frankie, ya numbnuts. I’ve had a look but you’re not on the administrator list anymore for some reason. And I’m not sure how to add you. Can you try posting an article? Even something as a test to see if you can be added after that. Otherwise I have no idea. Maybe we’ll need to consult the oracle (Jonah).

  5. ThereWolf says :

    “Help me, Jonah-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope…”

  6. Illinois State Police says :

    This is Cpl. Joseph T. Ratzkiwatzki, of the Illinois State Police. We were given this website as a point of contact, by a Mr. T.K. Dogg. Mr Dogg was arrested early Friday morning, after a long siege outside of his home that culminated in an high speed pursuit that involved elements of the Illinois state police, local law enforcement, and the Illinois National Guard after it was determined that the vehicle Mr. Dogg chose to attempt his escape in, was in fact a stolen self-propelled Howitzer that Mr. Dogg had kept locked in a shed on his property for the past ten years.

    The began when neighbors reported excessively loud celebrations from a New Years Eve party on the premises of the Dogg family home. The neighbors said that in the past such disturbances were never reported, (due to the fact Mr. Dogg was always generous with sharing his alcohol, and that no one really wanted to ‘tick off a former Marine who might be mental’). However, this year they had no choice because of the scale of the party and the loud blast that ‘sounded like a 747 had crashed into the neighborhood’.

    When local police arrived at the house, they found a belligerent and apparently highly intoxicated man who answered to the name of T.K. Dogg, who was wearing nothing but ‘Iron Man’ underwear and carrying, what appeared to the officers to be a 50 cal. sniper rifle while incoherently rambling on about ‘Goat raping Portuguese vampire midgets’.

    The officers withdrew their service revolvers, and upon seeing the drawn weapons, Mr Dogg remarked, ‘Get those fucking ken and barbie doll pistols outta my face before I break off your arms and shove em up your shit chute! You wanna see a gun? I’ll show ya a REAL gun!’

    Upon which Mr Dogg stumbled into the rear of his home and disappeared into a large shed on the property.

    Then all hell broke loose. A deafening blast and explosion – which is now known to have been the launching of an H.E howitzer shell (which apparently was also the cause of the noise prompted the neighbors to call), just missed exploding over mid-town Chicago, but fortunately exploded harmlessly over lake Michigan instead – announced the beginning of the siege that culminated with a chase through the streets of downtown Chicago by the ISP, local law enforement and the Illinois Nat’l Guard, of what is no know to have been a M110 8in Self-Propelled howitzer

  7. Toadkillerdog says :

    This is Cpl. Joseph T. Ratzkiwatzki, of the Illinois State Police. We were given this website as a point of contact, by a Mr. T.K. Dogg. Mr Dogg was arrested early Friday morning, after a long siege outside of his home that culminated in an high speed pursuit that involved elements of the Illinois state police, local law enforcement, and the Illinois National Guard after it was determined that the vehicle Mr. Dogg chose to attempt his escape in, was in fact a stolen self-propelled Howitzer that Mr. Dogg had kept locked in a shed on his property for the past ten years.

    The began when neighbors reported excessively loud celebrations from a New Years Eve party on the premises of the Dogg family home. The neighbors said that in the past such disturbances were never reported, (due to the fact Mr. Dogg was always generous with sharing his alcohol, and that no one really wanted to ‘tick off a former Marine who might be mental’). However, this year they had no choice because of the scale of the party and the loud blast that ‘sounded like a 747 had crashed into the neighborhood’.

    When local police arrived at the house, they found a belligerent and apparently highly intoxicated man who answered to the name of T.K. Dogg, who was wearing nothing but ‘Iron Man’ underwear and carrying, what appeared to the officers to be a 50 cal. sniper rifle while incoherently rambling on about ‘Goat raping Portuguese vampire midgets’.

    The officers withdrew their service revolvers, and upon seeing the drawn weapons, Mr Dogg remarked, ‘Get those fucking ken and barbie doll pistols outta my face before I break off your arms and shove em up your shit chute! You wanna see a gun? I’ll show ya a REAL gun!’

    Upon which Mr Dogg stumbled into the rear of his home and disappeared into a large shed on the property.

    Then all hell broke loose. A deafening blast and explosion – which is now known to have been the launching of an H.E howitzer shell (which apparently was also the cause of the noise prompted the neighbors to call), just missed exploding over mid-town Chicago, but fortunately exploded harmlessly over lake Michigan instead – announced the beginning of the siege that culminated with a chase through the streets of downtown Chicago by the ISP, local law enforement and the Illinois Nat’l Guard, of what is no know to have been a M110 8in Self-Propelled howitzer.

    Mr. Dogg was apprehended – after he passed out drunk 30 miles into the chase.
    Upon being removed from the M110, he gave this website as a character reference, and listed a Mr. X.I Fos and a Mr. M.O. Beeus, as people who would be willing to bail him out, since his wife who only came down to the police station to bail out the family dog that had been riding along with Mr. Dogg in the howitzer, refuses to pay for her husband. The family dog did pee on Mr. Dogg after he passed out.

    • MORBIUS says :

      HAH, well done TKD. Sounds like your party ROCKED. I’ll check and see if Mr. X.I Fos and Mr. M.O. Beeus (*snicker*) are around. Would Mr. D. Royd, Ms. Bar Fee, or Mr. B. AndO suffice?

  8. ThereWolf says :

    Frank, didn’t you have a giant cock for a gravatar or was that somebody else?

    Only, it’s a beer, see, and that picture’s on the label. The beer is actually called ‘Big Cock’.

    I had a ‘Knobgoblin’ from the same makers. It was nice.

  9. ThereWolf says :

    Finally watched ‘Knowing’ last night.

    Good, but I kind of wish it didn’t come over all spiritual in the last third. I was prepped for something other than that (don’t know what) and I was a teensy bit disappointed.

    That plane coming down in Dobly DTS… I think the neighbours thought a plane really HAD come down! Pant cackingly loud.

  10. Droid says :

    Avatar has reached 1 Billion worldwide. Cameron will have the top 2 grossing flicks of all time in about a week.

  11. Jarv says :

    Thank fuck.

  12. Jarv says :

    Update on the 500 film challenge.

    I made it. But the last month’s watching made me hate cinema and I don’t ever want to deliberately try to do something that stupid again.

    • Tom_Bando says :

      500 movies is a LOT. Jarv your Critters resistance must be high.

      • Jarv says :

        I’m not doing it again.

        When I started, I thought it would be easy- you need basically 1 a day with 5 on Sat and Sunday.

        This isn’t hard. Unfortunately, we had a postal strike that fucked Lovefilm, and I got distracted by the cricket- so I ended up having to watch all manner of shite to make it (Beethoven, Beethoven’s 2nd, Beethoven’s 3rd etc).

  13. Droid says :

    I actually watched a number of good flicks over the festivus period. Hardly any bad ones. Except for Gamer, which I drunkenly attempted only to give up after about 25 minutes. I was already wankered enough without nonsensical explosions and jitter cam.

  14. Jarv says :

    I watched utter shit punctuated by a few classics and the odd unexpected gem (Infestation)

    I was on about 470 on the 19th, so ended up having to watch 30 fucking films in about 10 fucking days to make it.

    Luckily, the TV guide came to my rescue with some crap on every channel all the time, and I made sure that I watched 3 quality efforts on Christmas Day itself.

  15. just pillow talk says :

    Hmm…I think I may have seen 200…maybe, during the year.

    I just watched The Hangover, which definitely had some funny parts to it, though by no means a comedy classic…and Angels and Demons, which was sort of watchable I guess.

    J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!! They made the playoffs, I don’t care how.

  16. Jarv says :

    I’ve got evil bong coming.

    Can’t wait.

  17. Jarv says :

    Right

    Best of US done.

  18. Jarv says :

    Cricket is shit.

    Frankly.

  19. Droid says :

    Aussies are getting belted in the 2nd test and the Poms are struggling.

    • Jarv says :

      Fucking silly game.

      I’m now relying on Ian “Sherminator” Bell to pull us out of the poo.

      We’re doooooooomed.

  20. Jarv says :

    Useless little cunt’s just got himself out as well.

    How predictable- whenever England are in the shit he goes AWOL.

  21. koutchboom says :

    Saw Invicticus this weekend. Turned out a lot better then everyone was saying it was. Never once did I feel like it was a made for TV movie. Sure it was corny as hell but I liked it, and i went in expecting to hate it.

  22. koutchboom says :

    Mireageman I think would make the cut.

  23. koutchboom says :

    I watching (500) Days of Summer again this weekend. Amazed at how much I liked it a second time around. Anyone else seen this?

    • Droid says :

      I’ve seen it. It’s pretty good. I did especially like that dance number scene. Pretty funny and also kinda dead on in a way.

      • koutchboom says :

        Yeah I was just amazed how impactful it was on a second viewing. The split screen scene was still just as devestating.

        I’m thinking JGL should get a best actor nom. I doubt I’ll have a similar experience with The Hurt Locker a second time through.

  24. M. Blitz says :

    What’s wrong with being ‘that guy who goes on about John Carpenter’?

  25. Droid says :

    Frankie, I’ve got one for you to review…

    Sorority Row

    Get on it, son!

  26. koutchboom says :

    Pinata: Survival Island damn been wanting to see that. Back when she was good looking.

  27. koutchboom says :

    Should we put up our lists? I would like to see what everyone watched. I like the idea of keeping a list, I’ve already started one for this year. I only reached 230 movies last year.

  28. just pillow talk says :

    I’ve seen two so far this year. I very much doubt I’ll even reach 200 this year.

  29. ThereWolf says :

    Let’s see, I watched Midnight Run on telly – also seen Knowing, Star Trek (again) and Moon (again). Four. I’ll never keep this up though.

    Frank, do Midnight Run. I know it’s old but it’s mint.

  30. ThereWolf says :

    Made for telly sequels to Midnight Run? Really?

    I was impressed with ITV actually – they left all the swearing in! I was expecting MR to be cut to ribbons.

  31. Droid says :

    Midnight Run could be in my Top 10 of all time. Definitely Top 20. Absolute bonafide genius.

    “If you don’t cooperate you’re gonna suffer from fistophobia!”

    I laugh out loud every time I hear De Niro deliver that line.

    Frankie, I acquired the tv sequels a while back. Hard to find, and not necessarily worth it I’m afraid. They’re okay. But very, very made for tv if you get my drift. Still, worth a peek i guess if you’re really interested.

  32. ThereWolf says :

    There’s that quote, and then there’s – “I’ve got two words for you; shut the fuck up.”

    Cracks me up every single time.

  33. ThereWolf says :

    Shit, it’s snowing again.

    Looks like a fucking fairytale…

  34. Toadkillerdog says :

    Happy New Year to all of you glorious bastards and bastardesses! I want to thank Morbius for bailing me out of prison, after my wife only paid for the dog to get out.

    I still can’t believe Rufus left me in jail just because she waved a Jerky treat in his face, but he must still be holding a grudge about me taking him to vet to get his lick ‘ems cut off.

    • MORBIUS says :

      Now, you know why, when you throw the Frisbee, Rufus just sits there and gives you the

      “Fuck you, go get it yourself look.”

      He’s reminiscing about that cute little Jack Russell Terrier down the street and hearing in his head the Boss singing GLORY DAYS!

      • Toadkillerdog says :

        Morbius, I think that Jack Russell was a Tranny anyway.

        Dude should be thanking me for saving him from the humiliation of showing up on the cover in a Dog World magazine expose. Cause you now that tranny/bitch would sell the story to the highest bidder!

  35. MORBIUS says :

    Yeah, wouldn’t be the first time some ‘tail’didn’t make a guy do some crazy shit.

  36. D.Vader says :

    Just watched 1958’s “The Brain Eaters”. Its been sitting on my DVR queue since Halloween and is pretty much a ripoff of Heinlin’s “Puppetmasters” (though producer Roger Corman had no idea of the screenwriters’ copying during production and after seeing the similarities, settled with Heinlin out of court). Its nothing special and runs at 60 minutes, but it does feature a great cameo by Leonard Nimoy (credited as Nemoy) towards the end as an aging professor in the subterraneous creatures’ drill-craft, dressed like Gandalf the White with a Santa beard and shot through a hazy smoke. Bizarro.

  37. D.Vader says :

    I also just got an email from 30 Days of Night author, Steve Niles. Nice.

  38. D.Vader says :

    Fine! No one wants to talk? I’ll be out back drinking a fifth of something … hard.

  39. Jarv says :

    Hey Vader,

    Long time no see. Happy new year to you.

  40. Jarv says :

    We need to archive this Rec Room, but I’m not sure how droid did it last time.

    Hmmm. I may experiment for a while

  41. Jarv says :

    Also, aside from Schlock series, I’ve got a few other ideas-

    Underrated films being one I was thinking of over Christmas when I watched Last Action Hero.

  42. Jarv says :

    Other ones that I thought of: Alien 3, Speed, Repo Man.

  43. Droid says :

    Okay, I’ll archive it. Just don’t post anything for the next few minutes.

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