Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (on the audience)

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Why won’t this bloody series die? I’ve now long passed the point where I wish I hadn’t started it, and I now actively resent the increasingly boring, turgid and unimaginative dreck with The Shape, robbed of all menace, tiresomely killing identikit teenagers. Halloween 5, to my mind, should represent the nadir of the series, as surely it can’t get any worse from here.

Contains your humble reviewer suffering from a nervous breakdown due to boredom, inexplicable attempts at explaining the mythology and spoilers below.  Read More…

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1956)

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Director: Don Siegel
Starring: Kevin McCarthy, Dana Wynter, King Donovan

Unless you live 107 light-years away on the planet Fattybollox you’ve probably at least heard of this ‘un but I’m guessing you’ve all seen it and there’s no need for me to tell you this movie is ace. May contain a surprise in the greenhouse, we’re not talking mutant hellebore either, and spoilers…

 

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XIPHOS ORBITS NEPTUNE WITH VERONICA MARS

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On Saturday 15 March 2014, I decided to plop myself down on the couch and watch the Veronica Mars movie on VOD. This was the proper way to watch the movie since the couch/hospital bed was how I got sucked into the wonderfully realized world of Veronica Mars in the first place so it was only right that I watch the movie that way. It was a good thing I did since the movie was essentially an extended episode of the series and believe you me that isn’t a bad thing. Read More…

THE HOLLYWOOD KNIGHTS REVIEW

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DISCLAIMER: This is a re-post of the very first movie review I ever wrote. I did it at MyMavra.com years ago. Since I am bogged down in writing a review for Veronica Mars and there has been a paucity of posts as of late due to impending births, or actual births, moves general life things and what not I thought I would dust this POS off and get it up. Enjoy as much as you can.

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MONUMENTS MEN: AN INTERESTING STORY THAT DESERVED A MUCH MUCH BETTER MOVIE

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On Saturday 1 March, I was bored and decided to go see George Clooney’s Monuments Men, since that was just about the only movie that I had slight interest in seeing. I went in knowing full well they had to futz around the real story to make a movie and I was OK with that. However I was not OK with such a unique and amazing story getting such a slight, almost madcap, whimsical movie made about what was a triumph of the human spirit in a bleak, dark moment of history. Read More…

NURSE 3D IS BETTER THAN HAVING YOUR TEMPERATURE TAKEN RECTALLY, BUT NOT BY MUCH

Xiphos here  with ContinentalOp’s take on Nurse 3D which from the sound of it even the copious amounts of full frontal nudity couldn’t save. I would like to take a moment and thank Miss Barfy for actually getting this post up because she’s smart and I’m dumb and she is by far the best person I know so here is a big  THANK YOU very much for posting this from BOTH me and Continentalops. You’re the best.

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THE HOBBIT 2: IF YOU WANTED MORE FRUITY WIZARDS AND MIDGETS WANDERING AROUND NEW ZEALAND IN A FRENZIED CA$H GRAB FELIZ NAVIDAD YOU GOT IT

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****NEWER INTRO**** Because we are nothing if not timely here at WOTM here is my review of The Hobbit 2 The Desolation of Smaug, only 2 months late and way past its shelf life. ThereWolf demanded this review so ThereWolf gets his review because I aim to please and consequently I don’t get my throat torn out in a lupine rage.

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Halloween 4: or how I learned to stop worrying and hate the series

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Halloween 3 made some money. This is fact. However, despite this, it was generally perceived as a failure for not making enough filthy moolah. The tragedy of this is that the idea of simply using the date as a launch point for a horror series of stand alone movies is a cracking one, and Halloween 4 was originally conceived as a ghost film. A large part of me wishes that they’d gone through with this idea, because if they had had the balls to do it, then there’s a high chance that the ghost installment of the franchise would have been far more interesting than this dull, unimaginative and frankly annoying piece of shit. But no, creativity lost the battle with the balance sheet, and instead we got the return of Michael fucking Myers that absolutely nobody was clamouring for.

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A Droid Premiere: Robocop (2014)

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When sat down to I write this review a few days ago, it was with the intention of not focusing solely on the fact that this is a remake of a great film and a personal favourite. I tried to accept the film on its own merits and not to compare the two films. I finished a draft, but it felt a little unsatisfactory. Like I hadn’t looked properly at the film, and instead, glossed over the big issues. Anyway, what is written below is the same review, but draft two, which hopefully addresses some of these issues. It’s more critical, and it does directly compare the two films. A lot. But only because the remake forces me to. But I guess the important thing is that the rating hasn’t changed. There’s just more context to why I gave it that rating. Anyway…

{INSERT USUAL RANT ABOUT UNECESSARY REMAKES HERE}

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XIPHOS TV ROUND-UP

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Here’s a look at some new TV shows I’ve been watching going back to last summer. These will all be short except for one that I need delve into in order to do it justice. They aren’t in any particular order just how they occur to me. Enjoy. Read More…

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